Old Past New Future

The time had come. Weeks of dreading this day were finally over but I still was unhappy. I had told no one about this, not even my best friend...or my boyfriend. I had to come to terms with this. I always managed to before, so why not now? Was it that I had finally found some place where I belonged? If so, then why couldn't I tell them? Surely they would understand? So...why didn't I tell them?

I walked to my room, it looked empty. Everything was boxed up except for my bed and bedside table. I walked across my room, trying to retrieve all the memories I had of Albuquerque. Everything was becoming a blur. A tear trickled down my cheek. Everything here would soon be taken away from me forever.

Everything I had to learn about this place would soon be forgotten, maybe, over time, I would be forgotten, but there was one thing that would never be taken away from me. My love for singing. I had never sung before I met him. When you're singing, everything you know, you forget. You get mesmerized by the words you sing. Everyone in the world disappears apart from you and the person you are singing to. That was how I felt when I sang with him. My feelings for him were real and I know his were too.

I reach for my photo album of Albuquerque. I slowly take the pictures out. I stare at them, trying to snap the image into my head so it stays with me forever. But I can't. More tears are pouring down my cheeks as I glance over at the balcony. He climbed up there and sang to me. I look at the images once more and gently rip them up. I walk over to the balcony and scatter them out in to the open night.

I gaze at the stars shining ever so brightly. I try to smile but I can't. Everything was just so perfect until that evening. She told me I could stay here until I graduate but she broke her promise. I laughed inside. If only she knew how much sorrow she was putting me through, maybe then she would choose me over her job.

My phone vibrated. It was probably someone asking me to meet them over the week-end. Nobody knew that today was the last day they would ever see her again. It vibrated again. I glanced at the caller ID. It was him. MY boyfriend. Wanting to meet me someplace tonight. I knew this was the best time to tell him but I just couldn't. The look on his face would be too much to bear. I couldn't text it to him...that would be cruel.

I opened my bedside table and found some paper and a pen. I started to write but what could I say? That I was leaving and that I would never come back? I scrunched up the paper and threw at the wall. There was a knock on my bedroom door. It was time. I tried to be strong but I couldn't hold back the tears. There was no option left. I had to tell him. I had to tell everyone. The fastest way was IM but my computer was packed and ready to set off into a new life.

Texting would just waste the credit. I wanted to shout out loud but no sound came out my mouth.

The car engine started. I walked down the stairs and out into the drive. She closed the front door. I turned and looked at the house I had once hated but now loved.

I got into the passenger seat and she took the car out of the drive. We drove slowly down the road, when I suddenly realised I was leaving and not coming back.

I had no photos or souvenirs to take with me as I headed towards a new life. I had been stupid to rip the only ones I had apart, but at the time it seemed as if it were the right thing to do.

We turned left onto a road with huge houses. I knew who lived here. My friends, well at least one of them was a true friend. His twin decided to leave me alone and accept me but deep down I know she will be pleased I'm gone. There she is walking opposite my car. I know she saw me. I flung the car door open and ran up to her. I didn't know what I was thinking of doing but I knew I had to tell someone.

She looked at me and knew I had been crying. She didn't say anything and I was thankful for that. I gave her the scrunched up letter I wrote to the one I loved. She didn't read it their and then but I knew she would when she got home. She knew who it had been for so I didn't say a thing.

I turned around ready to walk back to the car but she grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me into a hug. She didn't have to say anything to make me regret all those nasty things I had said about her a while back. Deep down she was good.

She finally released me and I got into the car and left. I could still see her from the very top of the road, staring in the direction I headed in as if in astonishment.

I looked back onto the road ahead of me. A part of me had relaxed and thought at least they know now. But another thought of how hurt they would feel that I told the most unexpected person in the world rather then them.

The smile on my face had slowly deteriorated as I saw the sign saying what I had left behind. My head was telling me to think about the future but me heart wouldn't let go of the past.