Don't worry. It's not another story, it's just a 3 shot. It might not seem like one, but it is. You'll see what I mean when you read it. Ok, this is COMPLETELY different than what I'm use to. It'll be different for ya'll too. I've wrote about cutting, addiction, and some smut, but this is a little different.
If you read my stories Countdown, Flashback, and 3,2, 1, Break, than you know I've wrote about rape before. But this is different. It's a lot more intense and it's...not what you expect. You'll probably hate me at the end, but oh well. I got this idea from an author (I think your21..I'm not sure) who wrote a story on the Hannah Montana site on here and I liked what she did. So kudos to her/him. This isn't exactly what she did, but I guess you can say it was inspired by her. Anyways, enough rambling. Here you go. My story...Numb.
Chapter 1: I've Become so Numb
I'm numb. I'm totally and completely numb. I feel nothing. I am nothing. I'm useless. Every time I look in the mirror, the girl that I use to be is staring at me. She's hiding inside me. She likes to mock me with her happiness, that happiness I use to feel. I use to be so beautiful, so carefree. I use to love who I was but now, all I see is emptiness. I've been empty since that night. That night changed my life forever.
It was about a month ago. Tommy, Sadie, Kwest, Jamie, Patsy, and I decided to go to a party in downtown Toronto. Tommy and I felt a little left out since we had nobody really to go with. Sadie and Kwest had each other and the same with Jamie and Patsy. It was a little awkward to say the least. Sadie and I were up in my room looking for some clothes to wear. I found a shirt that I had never worn before. It was a black low-cut crop-top. I don't know why, but I decided to try it on. I went into the bathroom to put it on with some hip huggers and came out.
"Jude, that is so sexy," Sadie squealed.
I looked in the mirror a little uneasy. This wasn't me.
"I don't know. You don't think it's a little too revealing?" I asked trying to cover my cleavage.
"No, not at all. Jude, its ok to show off what you have every once in a while."
I looked back in the mirror. I had to admit, it did look really good on me, especially with my blonde hair.
"Besides, I think Tommy will like it," she said smirking.
"You think so?" I responded without thinking. Oops.
"So you do like him?"
"Uh, yea, I little," I said shyly.
She smiled and nodded knowingly. But she didn't know. That was a total lie. I didn't like Tommy a little bit. I loved him, with all my heart. He was always on my mind. His iceberg eyes and winning smile made my heart melt. But I knew he would never look at me that way. He would never love me that way.
Sadie and I finally made it downstairs to see the gang. Everyone was eyeing me. I guess the shirt was more revealing than I thought. But the eyes I felt burning into my skin were the ones belonging to Tommy Quincy. He couldn't keep his eyes off me. I tried my hardest to make sure I wasn't smiling goofy or something. I kept glancing over and his eyes were still following my every curve.
"I think it's time to go," Kwest said as I stood next to Tommy.
"Hey Quincy," Patsy said as his eyes finally left me and went to her.
"Yea," Tommy asked.
"You're drooling," she said pretty smugly.
Tommy looked down in embarrassment and it was almost too cute. We finally headed to the party. That party where my fate was sealed forever. It took about an hour just to get there and find a parking spot. It was just a party at some guys mansion. I didn't even know who he was. He was a friend of Darius and he suggested we should go. So of course, we took the invitation.
We all walked in and the music was so loud I could hardly even here Kwest, and he was yelling at the top of his lungs.
"Sadie and I are going to dance. We'll meet at the car around 2 am, ok!?" Kwest yelled as loud as he could.
All of us nodded and Jamie and Patsy went into the kitchen to get something to eat. Tommy and I looked around nervously. I didn't know what to do when I was around him. I felt like a silly little high school girl who was in love with the star quarterback. He looked at me and smiled. God, I just wanted to melt right there. He held at his hand and I looked at him curiously,
" Do you want to dance?" He asked me in the sweetest way.
I smiled and nodded. I had no words to speak with .I was afraid I would say something stupid. We dance to a pretty fast song and it was getting pretty hot with all the body heat. We dance for about 3 songs and I was starting to suffocate.
"is it just me, or is it getting really hot in here?" I asked Tommy using my hand as a fan.
"Do you wanna go upstairs and cool down for a while?" he asked leading me out of the dancing crowd.
"Sure, that'll be great," I said.
"Go upstairs and I'll get us something to drink," he yelled walking away.
I slowly went upstairs and picked the first door I saw. I went in side and saw a big canopy bed. It was beautiful. I sat on the bed waiting for Tommy, hoping he would know to choose the first one. I waited for a few minutes until I finally heard a knock. Tommy peeked in and I smiled at him. He came in with two bottles in his hands and sat down next to me on the bed. He handed me the bottle and it was Budlight. I looked at him weird.
"It was the only thing they had," He said shrugging.
I took a little sip and felt it going down my throat. It tasted disgusting, and yet I kept taking sips. I didn't want to look like a loser in front of Tommy. If he was drinking, so was I. Tommy set his bottle down on the ground and I followed his actions. He was looking around like he was nervous about something.
"Tommy, are you ok? You look a little nervous," I said with concern in my voice.
He looked at me and smiled nervously.
"I want to tell you something," he said looking into my eyes.
I smiled making sure he knew it was ok to go on.
"Jude, you haven't noticed yet, I really like you. I can't stop thinking about you. I guess you can say that…I love you." He said never taking his beautiful blue eyes off me.
I was shocked. Did Tom Quincy just tell Jude Harrison that he loves her? I couldn't believe my ears. It took a minute or two to register through my head that this was actually happening.
"Now would be a good time to say something," he said.
"You have no idea how long I waited for you to say that," I said laughing.
Tommy smiled at me and kissed me lightly at first. Then it started to get more intense. It wasn't even passionate. Tommy started to lay me down on the bed and I pushed him back up. He started to do it again. This time I didn't resist. All we were doing was kissing anyway. So I got a little more comfortable as he started to kiss me harder. I felt his hands pulling up my shirt. I pushed him lightly.
"Something wrong?" he asked.
"Yea, can we just take it slow?" I said.
He smiled and nodded. He started to go towards my lips but suddenly went to my neck. At first I enjoyed it until he started to go further down.
"Tommy, what are you doing?" I said in disbelief.
He didn't answer me. He started to kiss me again and shoved his tongue down my throat. I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me. He grabbed my wrist and pinned them above my head. What was he doing? What did he want?
"Time to have some fun Jude," he said with a devilish smile.
Tommy started to kiss me neck again and then started to kiss my breasts. I knew this shirt was a bad idea.
"Tommy, please! Don't do this. Just stop." I pleaded.
He didn't stop. He kept going. It was like I was invisible and had no voice. Tears started to come down furiously. He let go of my wrist and started to undo my pants. I took this opportunity to try and push him off. Bad idea; he pushed me down and slapped me. I looked at him in shock.
He went back to unbuttoning my pants and finally ripped them off. He took off my panties and I kept pleading for him to stop. But he wouldn't, he just kept going and slapped me every time I tried to push him off. By the time he took off his pants and boxer I had a bruise on the left side of my cheek.
Then, Tommy finally thrust in me without warning. I cried out in pain and he held my wrists again. I closed my eyes as the pain became almost unbearable. I kept telling myself, that it wasn't happening. 'This isn't happening. Tommy isn't doing this to me. It's Tommy, he wouldn't hurt me. This is a dream. Wake up! Wake up!' I kept telling myself. I kept telling myself over and over to wake up from this nightmare that was happening. But when I opened my eyes, Tommy was still on top of me thrusting and harder and harder.
He moaned as he lost his rhythm.
"Jude!" He yelled as he finally climaxed.
He collapsed on top of me. This would've been an easy time to push him off but I couldn't move. I kept crying as I felt myself bleed through the sheets of the bed. Tommy finally lifted himself up and kissed me. I didn't kiss back. I couldn't. I just sat there imagining myself on stage singing to all of my fans. Hearing them screaming at the top of their lungs just for me. That was my happy place as Tommy kept kissing my lips, my neck, and my breasts.
After a couple of minutes he finally got off of me and put on his pants. I just laid there…numb. He was about to walk out and then he turned to me.
"You know no one is going to believe right?" he said to me in a stern voice.
He was right. No one would believe me. It was Tommy. Tommy wouldn't do this to me or anyone else.
"Put you're clothes on and come downstairs. Or you can just stay up here, because I might come back for more." He said right before he left with that smile that use to make me knees wobble.
I just stayed there not knowing exactly what had happened. I started to cry again once reality finally sunk in. Now I know it wasn't a dream. It was real, everything was real. I wasn't imagining anything. I had to face the facts.
Tommy raped me.
I know...unbelievable right? That's what I was going for. If you hate me...oh well. I thought it was a very psychotic twist myself but hey, I told you it was different. 2 more chapters so I hope that you'll stay for the end. REVIEW PLEASE!!