AN. This was inspired by 'Alfie' by Lily Allen, a trip to Manchester and mentions of Christmas presents… yes, I am inspired by strange things, but I think you'll get the song reference. xD I'd love to know what you think of it, so please review! Also, I was thinking of maybe making this a three or so part fic, so tell me if you'd like it continued, because I'm not sure...

WARNINGS. Swearing, implied drug use, self harm and slash.

DISCLAIMER. Just that word tells you I own none of it, doesn't it? The characters are JKR's, and the kind-of quotes and ideas taken from 'Alfie' are Lily Allen's.

No dedication on this one, she knows who she is.

NEON GREEN LACES AND BAD INFLUENCES
PART I (ALFIE)

A week. Lily sighed. She hadn't seen the younger of her two brothers for a whole fucking week; and Al was the one who was in the same damn house as her! James was up in Manchester with Teddy, but she'd seen him a couple of days ago – why Al wouldn't leave his room, she had no idea.

Albus Severus Potter hadn't left his bedroom since he first arrived home for the Christmas holidays. He hadn't eaten for the first two days, until Ginny had realised and started leaving food outside the door for him. Neither Ginny, Harry, Lily nor James, when he and Teddy turned up unexpectedly for dinner had managed to talk to him, either, and his room had seemed fairly quiet until, Lily figured, Al had fixed his old wireless, because a few days ago loud music began blaring from his room. But enough was enough, she had decided. The holidays were only two-and-a-half weeks long, and Christmas was two days away (almost every room in the house was decorated besides Al's) – she was going to get Albus out of his room, or at least find out why the fuck he wouldn't leave it.

Standing outside Albus' bedroom door (the one covered in stickers advertising Muggle bands and clothing brands, and sporting a handwritten 'Albus' Room' sign with a drawing of a snake, which James had coloured in like a rainbow after Al came out), Lily took a deep breath. She knew that she shouldn't be scared of her own brother, especially one she used to be so close to, but she had a bad feeling about this. She knocked, hard, but there was no answer. She knocked again; still nothing. She kicked the door in frustration. Maybe he just hadn't noticed?

"Al! Al?" She called. "Allie?"

There was still no answer. Lily tried to turn the door handle, but it was locked.

She signed, about to give up, but then she smirked. There was still something she could try, that Al would definitely react to. Thank Merlin for Victoire, Lily thought, before yelling.

"ALFIE!" Lily banged on the door again, just in case Al was planning to ignore his cousin's hated nickname for him. "Open the goddamned door, Alfie!"

She was about to hit the door again, but Lily lowered her clenched fist as the lock clicked and the door swung open.

Her relief was short-lived.

As soon as the door opened it became obvious just how smoky the room was, and Lily began to cough as she forced herself to step inside. What the hell had Al been doing in here? The floor was littered with cigarette butts, used tissues, empty Red Bull cans (where Al had been getting them from she had no idea), Firewhisky bottles and various weird-looking packets. Al's wand lay on the unmade bed, on top of the bundled up bed sheets and random items of clothing.

Al himself was also laid on the bed, his head hanging off the edge and his feet (one bare, one wearing a black and gold pinstriped converse with neon green laces, the pair of which Lily stepped over as she moved further into the room) hanging out of the open window. His hair, which was messy at the best of times, was long and uneven; his black jeans had white smudges on them, and his t-shirt advertising some band or other seemed to be bloodstained. He held a cigarette in one hand and slowly brought it to his lips as he watched his sister staring at him. His face was gaunter than she remembered; his bloodshot eyes looked unfocused and empty of emotion and, if Lily wasn't mistaken, there was a criss-cross of scars and fresh cuts up both of his arms.

Her jaw dropped, and he finally showed some emotion. He smirked.

"What do you want, Lil?" Al asked. He spoke slowly, cautiously, as if he was trying to remember how to talk to another human being.

Lily shut her mouth, then opened it again, and the frowned and shut it. Now she was here, she had no idea what to say to him.

"It's Christmas Eve tomorrow, Al," she said, finally.

He frowned at her. "So? I'm not a fucking Christian. Why should I care? Jesus is a load of shit; Happy fucking Birthday non-existent God-guy."

"There's no need to swear, Al." She said softly. He glared. "I know you're not a Christian," Lily continued, "you've said so since you were thirteen. But Grandma and Grandpa Weasley and James and Teddy and several dozen other relations are coming over and they want to see you, Allie."

He laughed, humourlessly. Lily didn't know Al was even capable of that, and she found herself suddenly missing his old laugh.

"Not like this they don't," Al said, simply.

Lily surveyed her brother and his surroundings again, and felt her eyes prick with tears. There was a few moments' silence, until Lily blinked away the tears and stiffened her resolve.

"Yeah," she said, sharply, "about this. What the fuck is up with you, Allie? What the hell are you doing to yourself?"

"Fuck off, Lil. It's none of your business." He had turned his attention back to his cigarette, and seemed to be rooting around under his pillow for something.

"I care about you. So does James. What do you think he'd say if he say you like this?"

Al's hand stilled. "He'd laugh his fucking socks off and say 'I told you Malfoy was a bad influence'," He said, dryly. He sounded as if he didn't care, but Lily was sure there were tears in his eyes.

She looked down at her feet. "Er, would you like a cup of tea, Alby?"

When Lily looked up, the tears in Al's eyes had gone. Maybe she had just imagined it?

"No. Er, thank you." He added.

Lily bit her bottom lip, ignoring the tears as they began to fall down her cheeks. "For Merlin's sake, Al!" She burst out, "Just come downstairs?"

Al gave his little sister an almost apologetic look and reached over for his wand. "I'm sorry, Lil, but I can't."

Lily guessed what Albus was about to do moments before he did, and she yelled out just as he disapparated with a loud crack.

When Ginny found her daughter ten minutes later, she was sitting on Albus' deserted bed, crying into her hands.