Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: SasuSaku
Summary: "So, we have your wife. You get her back for two billion yen. Cash." The caller's confident Sasuke will find a way to get the money. If he loves his wife enough. Sasuke does. He has sixty hours to prove it, and he'll pay a lot more than two billion yen.
Disclaimer: Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto. The Husband © Dean Koontz.

Courage is grace under pressure
– Ernest Hemmingway

Call #1: The Taking
How much do you love your wife?

"You hear about what happened to Sabaku no Kankuro?"

"Who?"

"Kankuro. He's Gaara's brother."

"Sabaku no Gaara? Haven't heard of him either."

"Sure you have," Naruto said, swinging a towel over his shoulder. "He hangs around a lot at Ichiraku. He's practically as big of a legend as I am over there."

Ichiraku was a bar. That served ramen. Ramen. And alcohol.

"Dobe, I haven't been in Ichiraku for years."

"Years? Are you serious? I thought you still dropped in sometimes."

Sasuke snorted. "So I've really been missed, huh?"

"Well, I admit, they didn't name a bar stool after you like they did me. What — did you find someplace better than Ichiraku's?"

"Remember coming to my wedding three years ago?" Sasuke asked.

"Sure. I remember you not serving ramen there."

"Yeah, well, I don't do bars anymore. I never did them in the first place, unlike you. I do marriage now."

"Can't you do marriage and bars?" Naruto said, head disappearing under a car hood.

"I told you," Sasuke said, getting irritated. "I never did bars to begin with."

"That's sad," Naruto said, shaking his head.

"No it isn't."

"It actually is, Sasuke. If you put a lion in the zoo for three years, even six years, he never forgets what freedom is like."

Wiping some sweat off his brow, Sasuke asked, "How would you know? You ever asked a lion?"

"Don't need to ask one. I am a lion."

"… You are a hopeless idiot."

"And proud of it. I'm glad you and Sakura-chan are working out, though. Remember, I'll pound you if you don't treat her right," Naruto warned. "But I've got my freedom."

"Good for you. And what do you do with it?"

"Anything I want. Like, if I want ramen for dinner, I don't have to ask anyone what she wants."

"She wouldn't get a choice either way.

"If I want to go down to Ichiraku for a few sakes, there's nobody to bitch at me."

"Sakura doesn't bitch."

"I can get drunken-pissed every night if I want, and nobody's gonna be calling to ask when I'm coming home."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, replacing his wrench for a screwdriver.

"Some chick comes on to me," Naruto said, "I'm free to rock and roll."

"So they're coming on to you all the time, eh?"

"Women are bold these days, Sasuke. They see what they want, they just take it."

"Naruto, the last time you got laid, Inuzuka Kiba thought he was going to be the prime minister of Japan."

"That wasn't so long ago."

"So, what happened to Kankuro?"

"Who?"

"Gaara's brother."

"Oh, yeah. An iguana bit off his nose."

"That's disgusting."

"Tell me about it."

The garage was quiet. Naruto and Sasuke finished working on the car they were supposed to repair and took a seat. Sasuke was vaguely proud of what was around him. It hadn't had the best start, but with a few risks and a lot of hard work, they had managed to make their business successful.

It was blistering hot that day, and while Sasuke felt slightly heated, he wasn't too bothered by it. Naruto, however, was sweating like a pig.

His handphone rang.

Sasuke unclipped it from his belt and flipped it open. The time — 11:43am — was displayed but no number came up on the screen.

"Uchiha Sasuke here."

"Sasuke-kun, I love you."

"Sakura?"

"Whatever happens, I love you. Remember that, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said on the other end.

She cried out in pain. A clatter and a crash were heard, suggesting a struggle.

Alarmed, Sasuke rose to his feet. "Sakura?"

He was so focused on listening to the background noise for any sound coming from Sakura that he didn't hear what the man who had taken hold of the phone was trying to tell him.

"Sonofabitch," Sakura said, and was silenced by a sharp crack, as though she'd been slapped.

The stranger on the phone said, "You hear me now, Uchiha?"

"Sakura? Where's Sakura."

"Oi, if she gets up, punch her," the stranger said, talking away from the phone to someone at his end of the line.

Sakura was with at least two men, one of whom had hit her.

The stranger diverted his attention back to Sasuke. "So, Uchiha. We have your wife."

"Why?" Sasuke heard himself ask.

"Why do you think, asshole?"

Sasuke rummaged his brain for every possible reason as to why his wife had been kidnapped, each seeming less logical than the last choice.

"I'm just a mechanic."

"So? We have your wife. You get her back for two billion yen. Cash."

There was no way this was real. Sasuke made a mental calculation. Two billion yen. That was roughly twenty million American dollars. Sasuke didn't have that kind of money simply lying around.

"You've made a mistake," Sasuke said. Naruto had gone off to the toilet; Sasuke was alone in a conversation with a man that had taken and hit his wife.

"You heard me? I said, two billion."

"You aren't listening to me. I'm a mechanic."

"We know. You've got until midnight Wednesday. Sixty hours. We'll be in touch about the details."

"This is bullshit," Sasuke said. "Where would I get two billion yen?"

"You'll find a way."

"It isn't possible," Sasuke insisted.

"You want to hear her scream again?"

"No. Don't."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Really love her?"

"Yes."

"Well, if you do," said the stranger, "then you'll find a way."

"There isn't a way you bone-headed—"

"If you go to the police, we'll cut off her fingers one by one, and cauterise them as we go. We'll cut her tongue out. And her eyes. Then we'll leave her alone to die as fast or slow as she wants."

Sasuke's mouth was dry. He couldn't think of any response to this.

The stranger continued on. "And just so you know that we're serious… See that guy across the road?"

Sasuke turned and saw a single pedestrian, a man taking an afternoon jog.

Before he could blink, a rifled fire shattered the stillness of the sunny day, and the pedestrian went down, shot in the head.

"Wednesday, midnight," said the man on the phone. "Don't even try to fuck with us."

A/N:

I can't write canon stories to save my life. So I resort to ripping off concepts from films and books and fusing them with Naruto characters. Le sigh.

Yes, Sasuke is OOC, because he is a normal person here. He is not some ninja whose brother murdered his entire clan, he is not some detective who solves cases of dead people, he is not a rich snooty brat, he is not a sex-crazed maniac who gets high on sniffing flowers and bathing in honey, he is normal. Normalnormalnormal.

Eh hem. Yeah.

Lessthanthree.