Disclaimer: I do not own the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I just write the fan fiction that swaps the characters' genders.

"Darcy," Stevie's voice was worried. "Are you sure nobody will recognize me? I don't want to be signing autographs and taking selfies all night."

Darcy turned around and ran his eyes appreciatively over the cleverly disguised Captain America. "Definitely not. Toni did her work well."

Stevie rolled her eyes and brushed a lock of unfamiliar black hair out of her face. "I hate wearing her clothes." She frowned. "You never know where she's taken them off."

"And for whom!" Darcy added with a smirk. "Don't worry. It's just a high school reunion. It's not like they're going to be looking at you, anyway." He paused. "Well, yeah, they will be looking at you, because even though I'm ten times hotter than the last time these people saw me, there's no easy way to disguise your crime-fighting bod."

Stevie sighed. "I can never tell what's a compliment this century and what I should be offended by."

"There's a pretty good chance you should take offense to whatever anyone says once we walk through these doors," Darcy told her, indicating the aging gray metal that stood between them and basketball hoops, uncomfortable people, and cheap fruit punch.

"Why did I agree to come to this with you?" Stevie asked miserably, shifting under raspberry chiffon.

"Because you have a secret crush on me," Darcy reminded her.

Stevie looked unconvincingly shocked. "I do not!" she insisted.

Darcy smirked. "You're wearing Toni's dress, Jamie's shoes, and the lipstick I complimented you on three weeks ago," he pointed out. "For no other reason than the fact that I asked."

"I—" Stevie began. "...You remember that?"

"I remember I almost kissed you," Darcy told her.

Stevie looked up at him so that Darcy could see her blush. "Why didn't you?"

So Darcy did.

Author's Note (March 25th 2016): Welcome to the first of many genderbent fics! You can find me on ao3 and tumblr (both CatrinaSL), on twitter AT CoAwesomeness , and my blog iwillwriteyourfic DOT blogspot DOT com.