Cheesy Christmas Movies All Around
---
A/N: Hello, everyone! I decided to write a nice little Christmas story to kick off the official beginning of my two week break! Most time off I've had since this summer! Anyhow, this one is just going to be a bit of a team bonding fic, with them discussing their favorite holiday movies. Pointless? Yes. Does anyone care? I doubt it. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognizable mentioned within. Including, but not limited to: Criminal Minds, the characters, Christmas (I used to, but the Grinch stole it), claymation, and holiday movies.
---
"I'm telling you, whoever came up with that idea is seriously disturbed." Reid told his teammates indignantly.
"I thought you would have found it interesting." Prentiss said from her desk.
"I find it disturbing. The whole idea is just weird."
"Seriously, Reid, what's wrong with claymation?" Morgan asked, trying to keep a straight face.
"It's creepy!" Reid snatched up his order of chicken Lo Mein and a pair of chopsticks and began stabbing at his food. "And was it really that hard for them to remember to toss in a fork?"
"You can do amazing slight-of-hand tricks, but you can't handle chopsticks?" Prentiss asked, amusement evident in her voice.
Reid pointedly ignored her, attempting to keep the noodles dangling off the end of his eating utensils long enough for them to reach his mouth. He failed miserably. Morgan chuckled, munching on sweet and sour pork as he watched his friend struggle. "Okay, so if you don't like the animated classics, what's your favorite Christmas movie?" He asked.
"I happen to like A Christmas Story." Reid told him.
"You'll shoot your eye out, Kid." A voice came from behind Reid, making him jump.
He turned and saw Garcia hovering just behind him, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Kind of appropriate." Prentiss commented, also grinning.
"Did you get my fried rice?" Garcia asked, poking around in the bag full of Chinese takeout.
"Oh, sorry, Garcia." Reid said, immediately reaching in and pulling out the appropriate box. "I got distracted."
"By what?" The tech pulled a vacant chair up next to the young genius' desk and began to open her takeout box.
"They were talking about claymation Christmas specials when I got back." Reid told her, as if that explained everything.
"Ooh, I've always love those. There's just something so charmingly awkward about them. Kinda like you." Garcia said, pointing to Reid with her chopsticks before taking a bite of food.
"Apparently, Reid hates those movies. They creep him out." Prentiss informed Garcia, laughter evident in her voice.
"Aw, even Rudolph?" Garcia turned back towards Reid.
Reid scowled. "That one, especially, has always gotten on my nerves."
"That's understandable…" Prentiss began, looking over at the younger man. "I mean, it's almost about you."
Reid looked up from his frustrating meal, his brow furrowed in confusion. "It's about a reindeer with a glowing, red nose. How could that possibly be about me?"
His coworkers merely chuckled, doing little to improve his mood as he attempted to scoop up more noodles on the end of his chopsticks. "Yeah, the animated ones are great and all, but I like Christams Vacation the best." Morgan told them, as he continued to watch Reid suffer.
"The one with Chevy Chase?" Garcia clarified.
"That's the one, sweetness."
Garcia broke into a smile. "I love that one! I haven't seen it in years, though."
"That is a good one. I haven't seen it in a while, either." Prentiss admitted.
"I honestly have no idea what you're all talking about." Reid told them.
Morgan's eyebrows rose in surprise. "You haven't seen National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation?"
"Nope."
"No, what?" JJ asked, coming down the stairs and entering the bullpen.
"Reid's never seen Christmas Vacation." Prentiss filled her in.
"I'm not surprised." JJ said with a small smile as she scanned the room. "Nobody told me the food was here!"
"Sorry! I was distracted." Reid said, standing up and running the last box of takeout over to JJ.
She shot him a mock-stern look as she pulled the last utensil out of the bag and took a seat. "Lucky for you, it's still warm."
"According to him, they distracted him with creepy claymation discussion." Garcia said.
"What, you don't like claymation?" JJ looked surprised as she pried open her box of Chinese.
"It's creepy!" Reid said with the air that he was tired of explaining.
JJ shook her head as she dug into her shrimp fried rice. "Well, I always liked Home Alone. Watched it every year."
"Mm." Prentiss agreed through a mouthful of dumpling, then swallowed. "My favorite has to be How the Grinch Stole Christmas."
"Ah, that one I recognize." Reid said, poking his dinner sadly with his useless chopsticks.
"You all have wonderful taste in cheesy Christmas movies, with the possible exception of my junior g-man here, but I'm telling you, it's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer all the way." Garcia said, sounding as if she was ending the matter.
"I do not have bad taste in Christmas movies." Reid muttered, trying one last time to scoop up noodles with the wooden sticks.
His coworkers grinned at his indignant tone as he managed to drop a fair amount of Lo Mein on his pants. Finally, he reached the point everyone had seen him heading towards since the meal began. He shouted in frustration and began jabbing his takeout box repeatedly with the offending utensils. "Spence, I think it's dead." JJ said with a grin.
Reid sighed and looked up at JJ, his eyes beginning to narrow as he stared at her. "What? What is it?" She asked, wary of the look on his face.
"You got my fork." He accused.
"What??" JJ tried to keep the laughter out of her voice, more confused than ever.
"I asked for a fork to be included with our order, but I didn't find one. You have it." Reid said, pointing at the utensil in her hand.
"Oh. So I do." JJ said, sounding as if she had only just noticed.
Reid waited expectantly as she just stared back at him innocently. "Can I have it, please?" He finally asked.
"Then what would I eat with?" JJ asked, playing dumb.
"The chopsticks." Reid said, picking up the pair he had previously used to assault his meal.
"But you've been using those." JJ almost whined, as everyone but Reid began to catch on to the joke.
"They haven't even reached my mouth! JJ, I can't eat without that fork."
"Well… I suppose we can trade…" The woman conceded.
"Thank you." Reid sighed with relief, walking across the bullpen to retrieve his prize.
"On one condition." JJ said, pulling the fork just out of his reach.
Reid's shoulders sagged and he looked so forlorn JJ almost felt sorry for what she was doing. "What is it?" The young man asked warily.
JJ grinned and shot a glance at Garcia, who knew they had the same idea.
"Well, Sweetie, we just don't think it's fair that you pass judgment on Christmas movies without giving them a fair chance…" The tech said sweetly.
Reid decided he did not like where this conversation was going at all… but he was so hungry…
---
JJ and Garcia sat on either side of the team's resident genius on Prentiss' couch. They had proposed an impromptu Christmas movie marathon in exchange for giving Reid an eating utensil. Prentiss had offered her place up, saying she had enough room and she would dare miss the marathon. Morgan had insisted he wouldn't miss it for the world and joked that he couldn't let Reid have all the ladies to himself anyway.
They were part way through their first movie and Reid already looked as though the television was the most offending thing he had ever laid eyes on. "This is completely unfair." He said after a few minutes.
"Don't be a sore loser." Garcia said, prodding Reid with her elbow.
"Sore loser? I never even had a chance!"
JJ and Garcia exchanged looks and grinned. "True." JJ told him.
Everyone paid only half of their attention to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the other half going to their young friend. It may not have been very fair, but how could they pass up the opportunity to watch someone take personal offense to a particular form of animation?
---
Several hours later, Prentiss took the last movie out of her DVD player and placed it back in its case. "So, how was it, Reid?" She asked.
Reid had long since lost his look of offense and replaced it with one of resigned annoyance. "I think I may be mentally scarred, but it was fun besides that." He told her, leaning back against the couch.
"See? Not as bad as you thought." Garcia told him, giving him a one-armed hug.
"Yeah, and just wait until the next time we order Chinese food." JJ told him.
"What? Why?" He asked warily, his earlier look of confusion and wariness returning.
"You'll just have to wait and see." Garcia told him slyly as everyone burst out laughing.
Reid merely shook his head. They were never ordering Chinese takeout again. Ever.
---
True friends stab you in the front.
~Oscar Wilde
---
A/N: Yeah, I had a little trouble ending that, but I liked it nonetheless. Poor Reid. He's just such an easy target… And I do know people who really seem to be creeped out by claymation movies. (Claymation would be the Christmas specials such as "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" "The Little Drummer Boy" and so forth. It's not just used for Christmas movies, but those are my examples.) Hope you enjoyed this little bit of holiday-themed torture. Review, if you would like. Thanks!