I'm back again. This was another unplanned project of mine. Actually, it's sort of a rant in the form of a fanfic. And so, I shall welcome any flames I get and eat them like a delicious plate of sushi (if that makes any sense to you). I just had to get this off my chest. My hubby is tired of listening to me rant and rave about the unfairness of it all and is currently looking forward to what people will have to say about this fanfic. I sort of am too, as long as nobody finds my house and eggs it or something. After much ranting and writing (and more ranting and word-vomiting) I came up with this plot bunny. I thought to myself, if I'm irritated with how the NaLu fanfic universe has been going lately, I wonder how the members of Fairy Tail would react to it. And this was the result. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: If I owned Fairy Tail, I swear this story would be an OVA.
Breaking the 4th Wall of Cliche
Chapter 1: The Fanfic
Click, click, click click click, the little contraption on Lucy Heartfilia's brand new fourth-wall breaking device was being used to its fullest, as she furiously tapped on it. She had to admit, it was strangely addicting. What had the shopkeepers called it again? Oh, that's right, a computer. It was powered using the magical powers of the user and it was boasted that it could connect to supposed alternate dimensions... or something of the sort. However, there was a huge price to pay in order to receive knowledge of the multi-verses. It could drain a person's magical power to dangerous levels within an hour or so, give-or-take. One could only be on it for a little under an hour before needing to rest for several hours. And so, in her excitement and curiosity, she had invited several others from the guild for a little party. As they were all curious about her newest source of entertainment, they didn't waste any time in obliging her with the added magical boost that she was going to need. The only thing she had been slightly nervous about was Natsu and his knack for destroying things, but with Erza there to keep him in line she figured it would be all right. After clicking once more, a new site popped up on the screen. "Oh, hey, this is interesting. huh? Apparently people write stories about books they've read and stuff like that."
"Really? Lemme see!" Natsu eagerly shoved past Lucy.
"Hey, wait, Natsuuuu!" The mouse clicked on something and she found herself on a new page. "Thanks, now I have no idea where I am or what I'm doing." She began reading whatever new items that were on this next screen. "Hmm... Naruto, Inuyasha, Hetalia, Bleach... umm..."
An iron grip clamped down on his shoulder and Natsu looked up to see Erza's look of death upon him. He gulped and laughed nervously. "S-sorry... bout that..."
Luckily for him, Lucy's gasp drew the swords woman's glare away. "Fairy Tail? What!?" Wasting no time, she clicked on the category.
Erza was over her shoulder in an instant, Natsu's transgressions forgotten. "What does it say?" She demanded.
"Uh... h-hold on, hold on it's loading..." Lucy stammered under Erza's impatience. When the page had fully loaded her eyes widened. "Oh, wow... My name's on this story. Erza, your name's on this one! There's one about Levy-chan, too!" Her eyes scanned through the list of stories. "Hmm... Nalu? What's a Nalu?" She glanced at the others in confusion.
"Oh, the answer is right here." Levy had stepped through and pointed down at the page. "Nalu, Natsu and Lucy. Ohhh... it's a story about both you and Natsu as a couple?"
"A couple? You mean as a couple of teammates? Uh, duh, we already are teammates," Natsu quipped with a chuckle.
"No, Flamebrain, couple as in boyfriend and girlfriend!"
"Eh!?" The Stellar Mage shrieked. "D-don't just announce it out loud like that!"
Happy chuckled evilly. "They liiiiiike each other!"
"Shut it, cat!" Lucy jumped up to throttle the Exceed. When she turned around, Natsu had taken her place and was clicking furiously on the mouse. "Hey!" She snapped indignantly and shoved the Dragon Slayer out of the way.
"Stop hoggin it, Lucy!" Natsu whined. "I wanna see one of those boyfriend girlfriend stories."
A blush tinted her cheeks. "Y-you do? Why?"
He laughed. "Because, I bet a weirdo like you would be a complete klutz when it comes to dating and stuff!"
"Like you're one to talk," the Celestial Spirit Mage huffed and scrolled down on the page.
"Actually, I think you should look up some of those stories with you and Natsu!" Mira urged. "I bet they would be soooo cute!" She was practically dancing back and forth at the thought.
Levy put a hand on Lucy's shoulder. "Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing it myself." She giggled.
Blushing even more, Lucy relented. "Oh, fine... though why no one is actually kind of creeped out that random unknown people are writing stories about us is beyond me." She read through some of the stories and their subtitles. "Umm you guys want me to look up a... uh... Nalu story, right?"
Lisanna came up behind her. "Yes! I think it'd be cute," she said with a wink, only to add to Lucy's further embarrassment.
"Oh... good grief..." Lucy groaned, wishing that she could disappear through the floor right then and there. Suddenly, the computer party idea didn't seem like such a good idea after all. "Ugh, fine... Hmm... let's see... Nalu, Nalu... umm... here's one! It says, 'Lisanna's return! Lucy is forgotten and kicked from Team Natsu...' Well that's weird. And it has quite a few reviews."
Natsu snorted. "What a dumb idea for a story. That'd never happen, anyway. Let's look for a better story. I mean, who would get an idea like that anyway?"
Lisanna bit her bottom lip. "Yeah, it doesn't seem like it would be very much in character..."
Nodding, Lucy continued her search, a frown starting to form on her face. "Umm, 'Lucy gets kicked off the team after Lisanna returns. She leaves Fairy Tail and joins Sabertooth.' Uhh... 'Natsu kicks Lucy off the team...' Oh and another one."
"Well," Lisanna offered, "maybe it's a really good idea because it's so popular? Look! Those type of stories are the ones that really seem to get the most reviews. What do you think? This one seems to be written by someone named zOMGNaluLuver4evah101."
Natsu scratched his head. "Wow, that's a mouthful."
"I... guess," Lucy said, dumbfounded. "Maybe it's one of those types that you have to read it fully to enjoy it." She clicked on the one Lisanna pointed out. "Well, let's give it a shot. Apparently it's a one-shot."
"What's that?" Natsu piped up.
Levy interjected, "A one-shot is a shorter story with only one chapter."
"Oh, okay, good," Natsu said, grinning. "Reading gets boring for too long."
The Stellar Mage just rolled her eyes at him. "Whatever, let's just get this over with."
It was a beautiful day in Magnolia. But it was anything but beautiful to Lucy Heartfilia, who was feeling lonelier than ever. You see, ever since Lisanna had come back from Edolas two months ago, everyone in the guild had been ignoring her. Even Natsu and Happy, who were supposedly her best friends. She sighed sadly and readied herself to go to the guild once again. "Today will be different! Maybe Natsu will talk to me today!" She said hopefully. Lucy put a fake smile on and headed on over to Fairy Tail. Once she got there, she saw Natsu, Happy, Erza, Gray and everyone else huddled around Lisanna, begging for her attention like it was going out of style. "Hi guys!" She said, hopeful for some sort of reaction. Nothing. Oh, well, she thought. It's not like I expected anything else from them.
Suddenly, to her surprise, Natsu in all his fiery glory decided to grace her with his presence! She smiled excitedly and waved. "Natsu! Hi! Are we going on a mission today finally? Because you know I've been soloing so many missions lately and I've been having a rough time of it. Somehow I'm able to solo the tiny missions but I hardly have any time for anything else because I'm barely making rent with these low paying missions."
"Ah, yeah... about that Luce..." He grinned like he were telling her that she won the lottery. "We decided to kick you from the team. Lisanna's back and you were just replacing her this whole time even though I never left any hint of it before now. So now she's come back to take her spot back. Hope that's okay."
"Oh sure," Lucy said, the phony smile on her face. "Of course I'd be happy about it. You have your childhood friend back and I'm sure that she's a whole lot stronger than I am. It's only natural that you'd want Team Natsu back to full strength."
"You got that right! Awesomesauce, Luce! Toodles!"
She waved him off with a fake smile plastered on her face while she was dying inside. She hid in the corner and put her head down on the table allowing the tears to start falling. "Natsu... minna... why?"
"Because he likes me more. Thanks for taking up the reigns for me, but now that I'm back, you can get lost now, bitch." Oh, great. There was Lisanna again. The only one in the guild that paid attention to poor lonely Lucy and she was also the one who picked on her the most.
She sighed and turned away. "You got what you want. Why don't you just go away Lisanna. You already won them over."
But of course that wasn't enough for Lisanna. She had to make everything harder for Lucy. Instead, she started bawling her eyes out like Lucy had just told her there was no Santa Claus (sorry if I ruined it for you, kiddies, but at the age of 13+ I would hope that you know the truth by now). "Waaaahhh! Waaaaaahhh! Lucy, how could you do something so horrible to me?"
"What the crap?" Lucy snapped. "What's your problem now?"
"Lucy!" Natsu yelled, rushing over to the evil Take-over Mage's side. "How the hell could you do something so awful to Lisanna!"
"What!?" Lucy cried. "I didn't do anything! You don't even know what's going on! Don't I even get a chance to give you my side of the story?"
"Shut the heck up!" Natsu shouted, backhanding her.
Poor Lucy fell to the floor with a cry. "B-but... Natsu... I... I thought..."
Soon everyone else's eyes were on her. "Lucy, you should be ashamed," Erza could be heard, shaking her head in disappointment.
"Lucy is not a man!" Elfman announced as if it was a shameful thing that she wasn't a man.
"You shouldn't be so mean to my sister," Mira scolded.
Even Gray was shaking his head in disapproval and glaring down coldly at her. She would have laughed at the fact that he was trying to appear so serious as he was standing before her completely in the nude, but she was too busy feeling sorry for herself.
And Lisanna was cackling wickedly as she hid behind Natsu. "Yes, you should leave, Lucy. Get out of here. Nobody wants you."
The sobbing Celestial Spirit (haha that sorta rhymes) Mage got to her feet shakily and ran out of the hall. "Master Makarov! Master Makarov!" She cried as she raced to the guild master's office.
"Lucy! What is the matter!"
"I have to leave Fairy Tail! Everyone is being mean and I can't take it anymore!" She held out her hand waiting for him to take her mark off.
"Of course child. I'm sorry, I've been watching for the past two months like a useless oaf and haven't done anything to help you out. I will give them all a good talking-to."
"No, no, don't do that," Lucy begged. "I don't want them to feel badly. Also, I want the readers to know just how long it will take them to notice that I've been gone so please don't say a word."
"All right, for you, and for the drama of this fanfiction, I will do as you ask, Lucy," the guild master reassured her as he took the mark off her hand. "But remember this: you are always welcome at Fairy Tail my child."
"Thank you," Lucy said before putting on a random black hooded cloak and slipping out of the guild, somehow being unnoticed by the angry mob that had chased her into the guild master's room. She raced to her home and took all of her belongings out. "I know what I will do," she said after she had finished. "I will go and join Sabertooth."
~TIME SKIP~
It had been six months and Natsu decided that he was finally sorry for being such a jackass. And not only that. He hadn't seen Lucy around and as the saying goes, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and so now he was totally head-over-heels for Lucy. "I have to tell her how I feel! I love her so much! I know I backhanded her before, but she has to know that I thought she had hurt Lisanna! After all this time though, I finally realized what a two-faced piece of work she is and that my only love is Lucy!" He looked around the guild again for Lucy. "Hmm maybe she's gone on a mission."
"Natsuuuu~!" Lisanna hopped up onto his back. "I missed you!" She giggled all sweetly-like.
"Oh, uh, hey Lisanna," Natsu said, faking a grin at her. He carefully set her down. "What's up?"
"Oh nothing, I just was hoping you were up for another mission," she said, pulling on his arm.
His grin faltered for a second but he put it back in place. Ugh I don't want to be stuck on another mission with her again. She's so annoying... "Well, uh, maybe later. I gotta go do some stuff... and things."
"I understand! Just let me know when you're done. We'll go as soon as you get the chance, 'kay?" She waved at him and ran off.
"Whew, dodged that bullet. Oh, yeah, what am I doing? I gotta go find out where Luce went!" He ran to the guild and entered into Makarov's room. "Hey, Master, can you tell me where Lucy went? I haven't seen her in forever!"
"You little brat!" The master's huge fist came down and slammed the Fire Dragon Slayer into the floor. "Six months after you chased her away and you only figure out now that she's missing? No wonder she left! She's been long gone and joined Sabertooth now."
"What? When? And how did you know?"
"To answer your questions in order, one: she left. Two: six months ago, don't you listen? And three: how else do you keep in contact with someone? By post, you idiot!"
Ignoring the master's obvious sarcasm, Natsu got to his feet. "Luce... I'm so sorry for ignoring you and chasing you away... but don't you worry. You might be happier in Sabertooth because they are probably treating you better than we did, but I'll ignore your feelings once again and drag you back with me because of my own selfish reasons." And off he went, running nonstop until he saw Sabertooth's doors. He burst into the guild. "Lucy!" He called, looking around excitedly. But what he saw next shattered his poor heart to pieces.
There was Lucy and she was with Sting (le gasp!) and they were both sucking face. The couple broke apart at the sound of Natsu's voice. "Natsu?" Lucy looked surprised. "Why are you here... uh..." She looked up at the calendar on the guild board. "Six months after I left Fairy Tail?" Her glare demanded an explanation.
"Wow, Luce, really? Sting? You were that desperate?" He sighed. "Well, anyway, I realized that I really love you. So come back to Fairy Tail, okay?"
"You think it'll be that easy?" Sting sneered. "You all don't deserve Lucy. She came to me and was crying the night you guys dumped her for that crazy Lisanna chick. You're not getting her back. Over my dead body!" He stepped forward. "Lucy, get behind me."
"Fine by me! I'm fired up!"
Lucy clasped her hands in front of her in worry. "Sting... Natsu..." It was at this moment she realized, though she was grateful to Sting, she really truly loved Natsu Dragneel. But she knew better than to step in between two battling Dragon Slayers, so she kept quiet and stood to the side.
"Fire Dragon's Roar!"
"White Dragon's Roar!"
In one attack it was over. Natsu was victorious. He grinned over at Lucy. "Lucy, I love you. Will you ever forgive me? I'll never treat you that way again."
"Oh, Natsu, I love you too. Don't worry, I will forgive you for anything because apparently the author wants to turn me into some stupid twit who goes back to an abusive relationship, so..."
"Natsu! There you are! What are you doing with that stupid wench?" Lisanna had come up on the scene from nowhere. "Who the hell do you think you are, you slut!?"
"Hold that thought," Lucy said. "Lisanna, let's settle this."
"Okay, weakling. Give it a go! Take-over magic!"
"Urano Metria!"
Again, in one hit it was over and Lisanna lay sprawled out in a bloody heap on the ground. "W-why...?" She mumbled before passing out.
"Okay, Luce, let's get going."
"Okay!" Lucy smiled happily up at Natsu. She turned back to the rest of Sabertooth and Sting who lay on the ground half-dead. "Well, guys, how do I say this? It's been real and it's been fun but it ain't been real fun. Ciao!" She erased the Sabertooth mark and left with Natsu to come back to Fairy Tail.
So it ended on that happy note. Lisanna left the guild in shame because she was such an awful person and Natsu and Lucy got together and lived happily ever after, even having 33 babies just as her daydreams had suggested!
THE END
FIN
Eh, whatever they say.
REVIEWS
Poopmaster5000
So awesomeeeee pleeease update pleaaase!
Flarpledoodle
Aweeeee so cute! Glad Lisanna got what was coming to her what a jerk! Nalu 4 ever!
Guest
It was so good, please write more.
Gigglefarts
Yayayayay! Nalu Nalu! So happy for them and their 33 babies!
Tiddlydinks
This is the best fanfic ever!
Anonymous Reviewer
Glad Natsu came to his senses and glad Lucy forgave him. You had me worried there! What a good dramatic build up though. I'm glad to see that b!tch Lisanna is gone.
SadSappySlurpie
What a happy ending! Keep on writing!
Author's notes:
Ahh, that felt good. Good for starters, anyways. More to come, rest assured. Keep in mind I'm merely expressing my opinion, and so you are welcome to do the same.
What got me started off on this rampage was one day, I was scrolling through some NaLu fanfics. I happened to notice, like every single page was one of those cliche fics. I even read a couple. Now, I guess if you want to go the OOC route and everything, I suppose they are passable. Maybe even good. But if you are looking for some good old fashioned, let's keep the characters IC they are definitely not what I was looking for. And so, starved for romance fanfics, I decided to check out a few other fandoms and see what they were all about. I happened to come across a nicely written NaLi fanfic in the mix. And *gasp* the writer wasn't Lucy bashing, either. But boy, the NaLu fans let the poor author have it. And that made me incredibly angry, and wanting to lash out somehow. And thus, this rabid plot bunny was born.
Now, don't get me wrong. I am a huge NaLu fan. I love NaLu. I eat, sleep and breathe NaLu. It is my OTP, forever and ever and ever! However, I am getting rather irritated at the lack of quality NaLu fanfics that are being written and passed off as masterpieces when they are nothing but copies following the cliche "Lisanna returns, and Lucy gets ignored and kicked off Team Natsu." Now, one or two fanfics I understand, but now there is literally at least two of them per page. What's worse is that people know that they are cliche. They're writing that in their story captions. So if you know it's going to be cliche then why write it?
I don't agree with any of the plot, and I don't even see it being plausible. First off, Natsu wouldn't, nor would anyone else forget about Lucy for any reason. Second, most stories seem to depict Lisanna as this complete witch, which I find totally unfair to the character. She is really a sweet, kind and supportive girl. For crying out loud, she practically gave Lucy her blessing to stay by Natsu! So why are there so many Lisanna haters?
I totally respect NaLi shippers, even if I don't agree with the pairing. Honestly, I would rather read a nicely written NaLi fic, than a character-bashing NaLu fic. Just saying. Anywhoo, leave a review if you like. Or if you want, let the hate flow through you and flame me. -halliegirl
P.S. Natsu thanks you in advance for the yummy flames. He says he can't wait to gobble them up.