Drunken
Me: In case you guys didn't notice, this is what happens if you let England drink fifteen six-packs of alcohol after watching Star Trek, Danny Phantom, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, CSI and Star Wars. Credits to Clover Phantom for the original idea! And thanks for reviewing my first drabble to the other guys!
Dianne: Remember, you're still on probation.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, not even the idea. What I do own is Philippines and some of the other countries that are not in Hetalia.
NOTE: Nothing, unless you count the slight America x England post-Blackout coupling here, plus Germany and N. Italy as well.
"HALT, ASSASSIN! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
"NO, NOT MY—"
WHACK. WHACK. WHACK. WHACK.
Feliciano (N. Italy), Ludwig (Germany), Evalynn (Philippines), Peter (Sealand), Elizaveta (Hungary) and Lisa (Seychelles) stared at the remains of Ludwig's laptop.
"He killed my laptop." Ludwig's face was the picture of horror.
"HA! The assassin has been killed!" Arthur sat atop Ludwig's destroyed laptop, apparently drunk.
"But it didn't look like that Star Wars Dark Jedi girl at all." Evalynn came close to the remains, intending to inspect it.
"I'll hang your pelt on my wall, whelp!" As sudden as his destruction of Ludwig's laptop, Arthur whacked Evalynn on the head with a hammer that seemed to come out of nowhere.
"OW! What did you do that for?!" Evalynn rubbed the growing lump on her head.
"I am Skulker, the greatest hunter in all of the Ghost Zone!" Peter shook his head in utter disbelief.
"When did Arthur watch Danny Phantom?" he asked Evalynn.
"I don't know."
"Ve~, ve~, I let him watch TV at my house while I cooked pasta!" Feliciano grinned, as if Arthur announcing that he was SKULKER from Danny Phantom was good.
"YOU DID?" Ludwig, panicked, ran upstairs, shutting himself inside Alfred's room.
"Ve~, Philippines, why's Ludwig so scared? I've never seen him scared before." Feliciano still had the stupid grin plastered on his face.
"JASON'S COMING!"
"Ba't ngayon sinasabi niya yung nasa Friday the 13th?" Evalynn ducked as Arthur threw a knife at her.
"Don't come near me, you bloody serial killer freak!"
"What did you let him watch, Lisa?!" Evalynn dodged more of the knives that came her way.
"Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street." Lisa ducked another flying knife as Arthur hopped down from the table, grabbing Elizaveta by the neck and holding his fist to her throat.
"Are you one of the children of Elm Street?" he asked in a spooky voice.
"Now he's channeling Freddy Krueger," Peter deadpanned while Feliciano frantically waved his white flag.
"Please don't hurt me please don't hurt me please don't hurt me please don't hurt me!"
"SHUT UP!" Arthur let go of his grip on Elizaveta, who smirked and revealed a small camera in her dress.
Arthur grabbed Feliciano this time. However, instead of a Freddy-like expression on his face, there was nothing but blank comprehension.
"We are the Borg. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Your life as you knew it is over. You will be assimilated," Arthur mechanically announced to Feliciano, who, in a surprising moment, knocked Arthur over the head while waving his white flag.
"AAAHHHH! VE, SORRY, ENGLAND!" Feliciano was now in full panic mode and rushed upstairs to join Ludwig.
Arthur dizzily sat up as Alfred entered the room, full of high spirits.
"Hi, guys, I—" Alfred was cut off when he noticed Arthur staring at him. "What?"
"Aren't dead bodies supposed not to walk? Because in all my years as a CSI, I haven't seen a single dead body move by itself," Arthur skeptically told him, looking like he was removing glasses
"Now you're talking." Alfred grinned as he flashed many CSI DVD's.
Finally in the whole night, Arthur seemed himself again. "Why, Alfred, must you tempt me with one of my favorite American television shows?" he asked, laughing, still drunk yet the drunkenness having slightly dissipated.
"Hey, why's Ludwig's laptop just a pile of smouldering metal now?" Alfred asked Elizaveta, while Ludwig and Feliciano came downstairs with noticeably less clothes, apparently having had an adventure on Alfred and Arthur's bed.
"Ask Arthur!" laughed Elizaveta, Evalynn, Peter and Lisa.
Me: This is actually my first "England's drunk" fan fiction. And I had lots of fun making him channel a lot of characters.
Cosmo: Hey, look! Alfie's back! Hooray!
REFERENCES
The first character Arthur channels is Ahsoka Tano or somebody else in SW who says that phrase. All I know is that I heard it on TV.
The second character is Skulker, the guy who keeps trying to hunt Danny. I was going to go with Danny Phantom himself here, but I decided that Skulker would be funnier, and that the source of it would be Italy letting England watch cartoons all morning (it was stuck on that cartoon channel).
The third character is a victim of Jason. It's not the exact quote, but I know somebody uttered something like that in one of the Friday the 13th films.
The fourth character is Freddy Krueger. He's looking to kill Elizaveta. Apparently, however, Evalynn watched Nightmare on Elm Street with him.
You can guess the fifth character. Yep, it's the Borg. They're pretty spooky, so I made Feliciano the scared victim.
The sixth character is Gil Grissom. Finally, a sensible guy!