Detective Mike Logan swirled the liquid idly that rested stagnant in the bottom of his plastic cup. He needed a refill, but he found it both personally and professionally inappropriate to inebriate himself, even if this was a social situation. He took his duty very seriously, nowadays, and he didn't stop being a police officer/detective, just because he got invited to a party; he used that term lightly. There was no telling when his services might be called upon, and if he allowed himself even another small drink he would fast be endangering his performance. Instead, Mike Logan stared idly at the dregs of his first and only beer, slightly upset that he had to be so stringent to his work.

The only consolation was that everyone in his company was just as conservative in their alcohol consumption, if not more so. The party, again he used that term lightly, was full of police officers, detectives, department captains and the big brass such as the chief of detectives, every one of them thinking the same he was. Most allowed themselves no more than two drinks at most, a good number of them declining even a first. It seemed no matter what Mike's personal views on alcohol might be, this little party was destined to be a somber one despite whatever he might do.

The only ones allowing themselves a companionable amount of liquor were the wives or husbands that had joined their spouses for the event. This shindig was open to the entire NYPD and their significant others, so there were plenty of fresh, unfamiliar faces around them to keep things from slipping into feeling like a really boring briefing. For truly, if this were strictly a NYPD only function, that is what it would quickly turn into.

Mike sighed, resigning to the fact that he was not going to get any kind of buzz tonight and set his 3/4 empty cup down on a nearby coffee table.

He had all initial intentions of slipping out of the party. He'd been here only an hour, but even in that short a time he'd seen a lot more than he wanted to. A lot of things he saw only depressed him. He saw so many faces he'd known in his younger years, saw how their bodies and faces had bore the passage of time, many not so kindly, and it made him think of his own self, how he must look to these people who remembered him as the lean and vigorous youth he'd been in his academy days. He was heavier than he was then, his hairline considerably farther back and his hair almost fully grey instead of salt and peppered, faint lines clustering around the corner of his eyes and mouth, and hands that weren't so quick as they once were.

He, like all of those familiar faces around him, was getting old. Not one of them could be called young anymore. They were all middle-aged...some of the elders were now considered over-the-hill and retirement candidates, and it made Mike's heart sick. These were people he considered his peers, and he didn't want to think that he was too old to do his job.

He straightened with intent to leave instead to find Riley Stevens coming toward him. On reflex, he smiled. He and Riley graduated from the police academy together in the same class. In fact, he'd found quite a few of his old classmates here, but that was hardly surprising. The host of this get-together was the state of New York and tonights theme was fun-raising. So when money was involved no stone was left unturned when it came to the guest list and it helped that most precincts made this social event, mandatory. Mike would never have guessed at the academy how tenuous friendships would be after they got out of the academy. It seemed that his graduating class were the only people he really felt he knew more than as a passing acquaintance. Except for his current partner, Carolyn Barek, that is. He had to sigh thinking about how his partner actually got out of coming just because her two year old had a bad case of the flu. Kids, who needs them?

Riley seemed to return the sentiment, smiling as she neared Mike, saying cheerfully when she reached him. "Mike Logan, what has it been, four years?"

"Ya, that sounds right How are you, Riley?" Mike asked, gruffly.

Riley was older too, but one of the few who was aging well. She still had young feel to her, and it made Mike feel a little better, because Riley, he definitely thought of as his peer.

Riley shrugged. "Oh...same old same old...you know the drill."

The only bad thing about these fund-raising banquets was that there was little real catching up to do, because everyone else was in the same line of business and might even already have an idea from hearsay and rumors as to what everyone else had been up to. And no one would find it particularly special, because everyone was in similar lines of duty. If possible, these things could be even duller than high school reunions.

Mike nodded. "Yeah...hey, who else from the old crew is here?"

Riley looked around. "Sanchez, Peterson, Franz." She shrugged. "Oh and that detective you worked with a few years ago. Eates? No...Eames, ya that's it. Detective Alexandra Eames. "

Mike cocked his head, genuinely not sure how to react other than to repeat the name back to Riley. "Alex Eames?"

A third voice joined theirs. "And her delectable partner, Robert Goren."

Mike cringed, rolling his eyes down to find Gwyneth Sanders, an assistant that worked in the ME's office. Obviously nobody escaped the torture of this night.

Riley saw Mike's scowl and teased to Gwen; obviously these two women either knew each other. "You got to watch that around him, Gwen. Mike here can't stand Bobby Goren."

Gwen blinked, obviously a little surprised as she looked up at Mike Logan. "I've heard of people disliking him by reputation...do you actually know him?"

Mike grimaced, disliking the turn of conversation, for everything Goren had done three years ago was still a sore wound. Mike didn't let his wounded pride heal at all. "Yeah... unfortunately. I got assigned to Major Case Squad about three years ago. He's a crazy son of a bitch and the squad ran better when he left."

Gwen stepped into their circle completely, abandoning her old cluster and engaging the three of them in genuine conversation. "Don't you think you're being a little hard on the man, Mike?"

Mike shook his head, immediately remembering the conversation he'd had with Goren upon first meeting him... "Hell no...that man is a basket short of a picnic. He's a nut case if you ask me, and the bastard's managed to recruit Alex into his fan club." He said, bitterly.

Gwen and Riley exchanged looks and secret smiles, Riley commenting lightly. "Oh...I can't imagine the Alexandra Eames that I've heard about being recruited into doing anything she didn't want."

Mike groaned. It was well known that nearly all the women in NYPD who had actually seen Robert Bobby Goren, and a lot of them who hadn't, found him very attractive, though the entire notion was a mystery to Mike. "What is it with all the women staff having some thing for that egg head? He's a fruitcake, and you're forgetting Alex here...he's going to get her killed some day."

Riley shrugged. "Oh...I don't know, Mike. I'll grant you he's eccentric, but that doesn't mean he's not gorgeous. And they do have the record for the longest partnership in their squad. And that's saying something."

Before Mike could grumble, Miranda joined in. "He is certainly handsome, half the time I almost envy Alex Eames having worked so closely with him."

Mike growled. "He's a hazard to her as long as he's around." He couldn't help the pang of jealousy he felt at Riley's words. They were true, he knew that. They were partners longer, before he transferred in and it was clear that a close friendship had been formed along the way. They had everything that Mike, himself, lacked.

Gwen wrapped both her hands around her almost completely full cup. "That's not what I've heard over the years."

Mike tried to wave off the argument. "Hey...look, I've worked with the man... as much as anyone can work with him, anyway. He's a loose cannon."

Riley touched Mike's arm. It wouldn't surprise her if everyone in the whole NYPD knew of Mike's predilection for overreacting sometimes...everyone had just suspected that, with time, his quick temper would have cooled. Obviously, for that to happen, Mike would have to get just a little bit older. "Calm down, Mike. Eames is still here...in fact, she's right over there." Riley pointed with her other hand, one finger straying from her grasped cup to indicate direction.

Mike followed the indication, finding that, indeed, there was Detective Alexandra Eames.

Her hair was shorter, she was carrying a bit more weight on her, and she looked older. Why shouldn't she? It had been nearly two years since he last saw her, and Alex's work was not the type to be kind to her.

She looked so intense and mature...so different from when he last saw her. She had been youthful then.. He remembered having looked after her, though from a distance, because something about her made him think of her as a little sister. That brotherly devotion had been snapped short when he'd tried to work with her after transferring in. Goren's influence had done something to her...he wasn't sure...but she wasn't the same Alex that had left Major Case a mere two years ago, just a few short months after Goren had transferred. She was still young, innocent, and intelligent...but there was something to her. A rebellion, and yes...a rejection. She hadn't wanted anything except friendship from him in the year they had shared a squad. She had spent all her time with her partner, whom everyone else at One Police Plaza had the good sense to stay clear of. But the friendship was strained and awkward because the two men couldn't be civil around each other. Or rather, Mike couldn't be civil to Goren, and Alex always sided with her partner during arguments. So the friendship had withered and died, seemingly without notice by Eames who went about her life like nothing happened.

Alex had been tainted, and Mike had pushed her from his mind without a second thought. It was her life, and he had nothing to say in the matter, dropping it without a hesitant step.

But he had second thoughts about it sometimes. He had to wonder, over the years, how Alex had managed working with Goren, no other partner had lasted so long with him, one was made to wonder.

But Mike hadn't called to catch up with her. He correctly assumed she wouldn't be interested in chatting with old Mike anyway. She had made her decision, and Mike was ready to respect it. Besides, he had his own career to think of, and Alex was but a small thought in the back of his mind. She was one name of many on a list of old friends he had in the back of his mind. He had accepted long before deciding to be an cop that there would be people that passed out of his life...ones he'd never hear from again, and he'd quickly recognized that Alex Eames was one of them. But now, looking at her, he had to consider once more.

The woman before him, across the room and unaware of him as of yet, was so different from the woman he knew two years ago.

Alex Eames then had been bright and quick...a vitality and eagerness to her demeanor and eyes... a sense of bottled energy itching to be used. Her eyes, while intelligent, were so much younger than her years.

The woman before him now was not the one he'd known. The Alex Eames he saw now wore dark, somber clothes, moved with a patient elegance that spoke of collected repose. Her eyes, what he could see of them from where he stood, seemed almost darker in manner. She had a now serious air to her. She was a rigid, hard, strict creature. She was a wise matriarch, a force to be reckoned with. And it was disheartening, for she was too young to look so old. She emitted a sense of age when Mike knew she was not even forty yet. Or maybe she was...time seemed to fly from him these days.

Mike muttered his thought aloud. "She doesn't even look like the same person."

Riley nodded while Gwen commented. "We all change with age...and experience."

Mike shook his head, angry again. "I'm sure Goren's given her plenty of the latter."

Gwen ignored the comment and talked to Riley. "Riley...have you seen Detective Goren yet?"

Riley shook her head, "No...I didn't even know for sure he was here, though I suspected he was since Alex came. Why?"

Gwen smiled like a scheming feline. "Oh... nothing. He's just grown up."

Riley eyed her friend, a kind smile spreading across her face as she answered, a look that for the first time made Riley look...older. "He was hardly a boy back then, Gwen."

Gwen smiled more casually in response. "Oh, I know...but he always had that boyish quality to him. When I saw him earlier today, well... let's just say he's not a boy anymore. I did kind of regret not seeing that little kid in him, but it's a mighty fine man that has replaced him."

Riley shook her head, "It's kind of hard to picture him any different from when I saw him so many years ago. What do you think he's doing these days?"

Mike drifted off in thought, remembering the Goren he'd met three years ago. Bull-headed, half-cocked, arrogant guy looking to press everybody's buttons and doing a damn good job of it. He'd been a live wire, territorial, though the last Tom could have said about himself back then. Goren had this look in his eye. Mike couldn't quite describe it. Some people might call it the look of eagles, but Mike thought that was crap. What he saw in Goren's eyes all those years ago had been some kind of borderline insanity. Just looking in that detective's eyes and one could tell he was off his rocker and constantly two seconds away from going off.

Detective Robert Goren's demeanor had been the parallel of his expressions. So sure of himself, his strides firmly planted like he thought he owned the whole fucking world. He was a steer trotting around like a bull among the big boys, and the shitty thing to Mike was that everyone was buffaloed by Goren's act. They acted as though he were big, important...something so special.

But it was mostly the eyes. There was something incredibly bold about his gaze, particularly when he got in a spat with Mike Logan. Mike had remembered seeing that look of fearlessness in Goren's eyes and thinking Jesus Christ, this maniac would walk into a bullet. And that's what his eyes betrayed him as to Logan...a maniac. He was crazy, Mike could tell.

Bobby Goren was a know-it-all who was too smart for his own good. He was looking to make a name for himself...and he was taking Alex with him, and she was willingly going.

For that loyalty, Mike Logan hated Bobby Goren.

Mike broke into the women's slightly hushed conversation across his bow to say irately. "If you two are so curious about what Bobby Goren is up to, why don't you go find him?"

"I'm right here." A deep, calm voice intoned from mere feet in front of Mike.