- It's Not Wrong -
- An FMA Crackfic -

Disclaimer (applies to all chapters): I thought long and hard about it, and I decided that I don't really want to own FMA. That would be too much work, and I'm lazy. I don't make any money from anything I write. In fact, I often lose money because I have to buy research material. Research material being the manga, the anime, and my internet connection. I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, nor am I affiliated in any way with the copyright owners of Fullmetal Alchemist. Fullmetal Alchemist's story and characters are copyrighted to Hiromu Arakawa and the various companies who produced the manga, anime and merchandise.

A/N: There is a bit of gay bashing in this fic, but there is a reason for it. I only needed Edward to be the way he is for plot purposes. I, personally, am not against homosexuality. Please, don't flame me for 'being a homophobe,' or because of my chosen couples, you will be laughed at. This story is set in pseudo-twentieth century Amestris. Yaoi. (Homophobes, stay away!) Crackfic. OOC warning. Alternate Reality-ish. Character deaths. No alchemy. Lemons, both yaoi and het. Blah, I've never done anything concerning adoption, so I'm making the orphanage seem like a live-in day-care. I'm basing this off the experience I've had with the various homeless shelters my mother and I flitted between during my prepubescent years. I fell in love with these pairings as I wrote this story. (Well, I've always liked Ed/Roy...) I like Armstrong's character, and I think he deserves someone (so, I gave him the two hottest guys in the FMA universe!). I had to really read between all the lines in order to write this.

Pairing(s) (Lemons/Limes): Roy/Armstrong (current), Roy/Ed (future), Ed/Armstrong (future), Ed/Roy/Armstrong (future), Ed/Winry (brief)

Special Thanks To:

My Job, for being so boring and slow that I have the time to write this little tale.

xfacexthisx (read her stories!), for being a sounding board and helping me with the adoption process information. I would also like to thank her for helping Edward have a temper tantrum and helping me with ideas when I get stuck.

Songfic Misstress (read her stories!), for helping me with the title, and allowing me to steal Trisha's death from her.

kurahieiritrJIO (read her stories!), for being another sounding board, and looking over this for me whenever she has a free moment. She also inspired the Ed/Armstrong coupling. She had read my FMA manga at my behest, and decided that Armstrong has some sort of feeling for Ed, but she hasn't decided whether it's a brotherly love or something else. I would also like to thank her for RPing the interview between Roy and Mr. Thatcher in Chapter 2.

Dragobat, for helping me with the floor plans.

Becky, for helping me with the Edward/Winry lemon.

D, for helping me with the Edward/Winry lemon.

I love you all!

Yikes, I think my A/N is longer than my story!

Two men paused as they approached the homely wooden door. The two men were vastly contrasted, one being large and muscular, and the other, while having a rather healthy build himself, looked almost petite next to his friend. The smaller man had shaggy black hair and eyes so dark, they looked black.

The large man would have been blond, which was evidenced by the bushy mustache above a full mouth, but except for a short lock of hair above his brow, he was bald. He was also extremely muscular, a testament to the vigorous physical training the man had undergone on a daily basis for most of his life. His sparkling blue eyes looked small on his face, but they missed little.

Roy Mustang and Alex Louis Armstrong stepped up to the doors of the adoption agency, nervousness rolling off them in waves.

"Roy, are you sure you want to do this? This is a very big commitment," the larger man, Armstrong, asked.

Roy looked up at his companion. "Yeah, I thought a long time about this. I really want to do this."

"Well, if you're sure," Alex raised a hand in preparation to cup his companion's face, forgetting for a moment that they were in public. He curled his fingers after a second, and looking around to see if anyone had spotted his gesture, quickly shifted his arm to grab the door's handle, pulling it open for Roy to enter. "Ahhh... After you, Roy."

"Thank you," the dark-haired man dipped his head and smiled, stepping over the threshold. As he entered the large main room, the sight of many children of all ages playing greeted his eyes. His eyes swept the room, looking for an agency employee. During his scan, he noticed a petit blond teen sitting on the floor alone in a corner with his nose stuck in a book, trying his best to tune out the goings on around him.

There was something about the blond youth that demanded Roy's attention. It was like the boy called to him somehow. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Armstrong motion for him from the counter. Sighing, he left his post and made his way over to the large man, making a mental note to ask about the lonely blond.

"I'm afraid he's simply not up for adoption as some kind of publicity stunt, sir," the red-haired social worker spat after listening to Roy's request. "Also, you can't just pick a child. There are many things you have to do to adopt someone. One of the things we do is a background check. We have to be sure you're not someone who would cause harm of any kind to a child."

"It's not for publicity, as you so kindly put it," Roy's onyx eyes flicked down to the man's name tag. "Andrew. This isn't about politics. I just..." the man shook black bangs from his eyes. "I wanted to share my life with someone."

"That's a laugh. Everyone calls you 'The Flame.' I wonder about the true history of that little nickname."

Roy quirked an eyebrow in annoyance. "Excuse me?"

Andrew smirked. "Well, everyone knows about you and your..." the young man cleared his throat. "Assistant." His gaze darted over to the large muscular man who was currently entertaining some of the children in the common room.

"Despite what you may have read in some tabloid, Mr. Armstrong is a close friend of mine," The dark-haired man answered calmly. He was used to people making assumptions about the relationship he shared with the large man, but would never let anyone outside his close circle of friends know the truth. Very few people knew that Roy Mustang and Alex Louis Armstrong were involved in a romantic relationship, and had been for a few years. "As well as my business associate."

The redhead blanched, clearing his throat nervously. "Nevertheless, just wanting to adopt a child is not a very good reason to do so. Why that boy, anyway? Most people want to adopt younger children."

"I wanted to give someone a shot at a good life. Being shuffled between homes every thirty days or so can't be very healthy."

"So, why not adopt someone younger, someone less... used to an unstable environment? Besides, this isn't a pet store, you can't just choose which child you want to take home like you would a puppy or kitten."

Roy scowled. "I... My lifestyle isn't suited for anyone under the age of ten. I also want someone who's old enough to help take care of themselves..."

The social worker scoffed. "Don't you mean sixteen?" he asked, daring the politician standing before him to make a remark regarding the state's age of consent and the slight against his sexuality. "That is the age of the boy you seem to be interested in, you know. I saw you watching him. He is rather cute, huh?" He leered at Roy.

Roy took a deep breath and let it out slowly, mentally counting to ten. "I would like to speak to your supervisor, please," he bit out in as controlled a voice as he could muster. He smirked as Andrew froze, eyes wide with something akin to fear.

"Uhhh... Yes sir," Andrew stammered, reaching over to pick up the headset of his phone and punching a few numbers.

While waiting, Roy took in more of his surroundings. Glancing here and there, he stood watching a couple of boys, who couldn't have been older than six each, wrestle on the cream-colored carpet. Suppressing a chuckle, he watched as a small girl with long black pigtails tearfully berated them when they bumped into the plastic building block table she was playing at, knocking her creation over. As the little girl scrunched up her face to yell, a much older blonde girl came over and pulled the younger one gently in her arms, rocking her back and forth.

Roy studied the new girl. She was too young for his tastes, but he could still see that she would be very attractive as she got older. He wondered vaguely if she worked here. She didn't look like she was wearing any sort of uniform, unless a tank top, miniskirt and combat boots were some kind of uniform. He huffed, that was ridiculous, he concluded. She was obviously another of the tenants. His train of thought was derailed by the sound of someone clearing their throat behind him.

"Mr. Mustang, sir. Please, my supervisor is ready to see you now," Andrew stood and gestured for Roy to follow him into a room behind the counter.

Roy entered the room and was greeted by the program director, a man of middle age and a medium build. He was of medium height and sported a neatly trimmed salt-and-pepper goatee below hazel eyes. There were prominent streaks of grey at his temples, and the rest of his short-cropped hair matched his goatee. He was dressed in a slate business suit with a black tie.

"Hello Mr. Mustang, my name is William Thatcher. I hear you're interested in adopting one of our children?" the middle-aged man held his hand for Roy to shake.

"Ah, yes. There is this boy out there who caught my eye, most likely because he was trying not to. A short blond, probably thirteen or fourteen, though I was told he was sixteen," the raven-haired man took the offered hand and gave it a firm shake. "He was sitting in a corner with his nose buried in a book." He smiled. "Oh, I would also like to file a complaint against... What was his name?" Roy thought for moment, trying to remember the receptionist's name. He snapped his fingers before continuing. "Andrew. He was rather rude, and insulted both myself and my companion."

"Please, have a seat. You're not the first to complain about him. I've had other complaints lodged against him. Not only from other employees, but from some of the older girls here as well," Mr. Thatcher sighed as he wrote a note to himself regarding his misbehaving associate. "I'm sure you know adopting is a lifelong commitment. Once the child is in your custody, it's final."

"I understand."

"Also, the process for adopting a child can be a lengthy endeavor, depending on how many other families are interested in the same child or children. However, in your case, I don't believe it will take very long. You see, the boy you're talking about, Mr. Elric, has quite the... reputation, and not many people want to take in a teen as... Well, I don't want to sound rude or mean, but he is... emotionally damaged. He's never stayed in anyone's home for more than a month. I can't really give you the details, but something terrible happened to him a little over three years ago, and ever since then, he's been a tad... rebellious."

Roy smiled sadly. "It can't be all that bad."

"Of course, we will still have to follow procedure and do the home study. It may take up to two months." William leaned forward, placing his elbows on the desk. "Would you like to meet him?"

"Sure."

William picked up the handset of the phone and punched out a few numbers. After a few seconds wait, he spoke. "Could you bring Edward Elric to my office please? No, he's not in trouble again. I just need to speak with him." Mr. Thatcher turned back to Roy as he hung up the phone. "He really is a good boy. He simply makes bad decisions. He is incredibly intelligent, and was top of his freshman class. But when that thing happened, well, he simply hasn't been the same since."

"Of course," the dark-haired man agreed amiably. He opened his mouth to speak further, but was interrupted by the door blasting open. A short blond teen stormed through the door.

"I didn't do anything, old man, so why are you calling me here?" the teen spat out as he threw himself into a chair, crossing his arms over his chest. Roy noticed that the teen had a hard time moving his right arm.

"You're not in trouble, Edward," Mr. Thatcher spoke quietly. "This is Roy Mustang. He's looking for someone to adopt."

"Oh, and you chose to foist me off on him? What, do you want to get rid of me that badly? Have you gotten that many complaints about me from all those families?" Edward demanded, turning his gaze on Roy. "I know you. You're that faggot politician. Nobody's gonna vote for you, you know."

Roy's jaw fell open and William sputtered. "Edward! Apologize to Mr. Mustang this instant! That was incredibly rude and very much uncalled for."

The blond snorted, rolling his eyes. "Make me."

"Again with the tabloid rumors," Mustang sighed and held up a hand in an attempt to placate the two. "It's quite all right. Edward is entitled to his opinion, wrong as it may be."

"No. Edward knows better and will apologize."

"Yeah, fine, whatever. I'm sorry," the young blond's tone was dripping with sarcasm.

"Edward..." William spoke evenly, his voice ringing with authority. Edward paled and swallowed nervously. "We've had this discussion before."

"I-I'm sorry. Really, I am," the teen sounded much more sincere this time.

"Mr. Mustang, why don't you and Edward walk around the grounds for a while, get to know each other?" Mr. Thatcher suggested. "Edward, behave," he added, throwing a knowing look at the teen.

"Yes sir."

The blonde Roy had seen comforting the little girl earlier ran up to Edward as he and the boy exited the office. "Edward, what's wrong? Are you in trouble again?"

"No, I'm not in trouble Winry," Edward answered her tersely. "I had to meet someone. I think they're gonna stick me in another home for a while."

"Oh."

"Yeah, and now I have to spend time with the guy," Edward spoke, ignoring Roy's presence.

Winry smiled brightly, placing one hand on her hip. "Can I come with you?" Ed shook his head, answering her question.

"No, I'm gonna shake this guy as quickly as I can."

Roy scowled at the conversation. Being ignored like he was didn't bother him, but Edward's attitude was upsetting. 'Wow, what an angry child. I wonder what happened to him to make him this way?'

The blonde girl looked dejected, but forced a smile to her face. "Okay then, I guess I'll talk to you in a bit!" She waved as she went back toward the group of youngsters, arriving just in time to break up a fight between two boys.

"Well Edward," the dark-haired man cleared his throat as they exited the building and started walking slowly around the perimeter. "Ready to try to be rid of me? I have a goal now, and you'll find that I'm not so easily dissuaded."

Edward sneered at the older man. "Well, aren't you special?"

Roy smirked. "Well, let's find out."

The blond sniffed disdainfully. "Look, I don't need you. I don't need anyone. As soon as I turn eighteen, I'm out of here."

"And where will you go?"

"I'm not going to tell you. I don't have to tell you."

Roy held up his hands. "Fair enough. So, what kind of things do you like to do?" He smiled as the boy shot a glare at him from under his bangs. "Okay... Do you..." he mumbled to himself as he thought of what to say next. "Do you play sports?"

"I had my arm and leg shattered several years ago. I had to go through several months of physical therapy just to learn to walk and use my right hand again. What do you think?"

Roy blanched. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I don't need your sympathy."

Roy looked at his feet as he walked aimlessly alongside the teen. "Edward, please don't misunderstand me. I simply want..."

"Look," Edward interrupted. "I walked with you, I talked with you. So, now I'm done. See you later," he waved half-heartedly as he walked away, leaving Roy alone and a bit heart broken.

The conversation, and Roy was being generous by calling it such, he'd just had with the boy left the raven-haired man all the more determined to make Edward a part of his life. He wanted to show the boy that not everyone in the world was out to hurt him. He promised himself that he would be the father Edward needed and sent a silent prayer to any god that would listen that he be allowed to adopt Edward Elric.