A romantic comedy of sorts.

BPOV

Edward is in love with me.

He is currently drunk, making out with Tanya Springfield, the slut from the first floor. Her claws are tangling themselves in his hair this very minute and she is making these sounds that I'm sure would awaken the most gruesome goose bumps on any unsuspecting person. But apparently Edward is into this.

This is good because I will be doing none of that. The squealing of sorts. Or kissing.

Because although Edward Cullen is in love with me, I do not, by any means, return his affections.

I just do not.

So just as his eyes make contact with mine, in the lustful way that they often do, I tilt the last of the contents of my cup into my mouth and make my way into the kitchen.

I don't have to look back to know that he will soon follow. Edward is most vocal about his love for me when he is wasted.

There are discarded cups all around my kitchen and I can't believe that I have once again agreed to house a wild party in my apartment. I decide not to worry about it for a while and pouring out a quarter cup of vodka and before drowning it in coke.

"That's not how I taught you how to make a drink." Edward says behind me and I turn to give him a blank look.

Edward thinks he knows how to make drinks. He is wrong of course, as all he knows how to do is get drunk. There is a difference.

"This tastes fine to me." I say leaning against the counter and staring up at him as I sip.

His eyes are focused on my lips in a very lazy way. I'm sure most girls swoon when he does this, but at this moment all I'm interested in is the fact that he has just placed his cup on the table, thus contributing to the overall trashing of my kitchen.

"I can always make you something stronger." He says, so calmly that if you didn't know Edward, you would never suspect he had an ounce of alcohol in his system.

He gives me this crooked smile that I know paralyzes half of the student body here at UGA, but I've seen Edward naked once, and so my imagination doesn't catapult any further then would his mother's.

"Nope I'm good." I say, rolling my head around my neck, as this conversation is beginning to make me feel very stiff.

"Where's Tanya?" I say when I catch him staring.

"Who knows." He says absentmindedly, while taking a string of my hair into his hand. He wraps it around his finger and smiles at me before letting it fall.

"I know that you were the one who put jell-o all over my apartment."

I almost choke on my drink when he says this because, well this is true. I did put open jell-o containers in and around Edward's apartment last week. He, Emmett, and Jasper cant function without pulling pranks on each other and after suffering collateral damage on several different occasions, I was promised that if I were to prank Edward, then I would be left alone. At least this is what Emmett has assured me.

"That is not true." I lie, pushing my hair back with my fingers.

"Yes it is. My apartment reeks of you."

"Of jell-o, you mean." I correct him.

"Nope," he says leaning on the table, and crossing his arms across his chest. "I know it was you because my apartment smells of that perfume you insist on wearing."

"My perfume does not stink."

"Yes it does. That strawberry crap. It's repulsive." He says, looking at me unapologetically.

"You're drunk. You don't know what you're talking about." I say, but secretly I like bickering with him when he's like this. Although I don't love him, I like when his goofy, merciless self protrudes.

"You smell terrible when you wear it and I'm not drunk."

"Oh yeah, and what would you prefer I smell like?" I ask, smirking at him because I do not stink. At all.

There is a loud boom or perhaps a small crash and a lot of "ooohhs" and I'm temporarily pissed all over again. I seriously will never ever have another party in my apartment. I turn back to Edward and he is closer than I remembered which means that he is about to do some declaring.

I sit back and wait for it all.

I know I'm not in love with Edward and that I shouldn't encourage this type of behavior from him, but I do anyways.

Besides, he wont remember any of this in the morning.