For weeks, Oliver kept his distance from the lair, visiting only when Felicity was away. He didn't know how to act around her since Lian Yu. Granted, it had been a month since the Unthinkable. It had been a month since they've tiptoed around the confession.
Were the words he uttered real or not? Oliver felt that was his secret to keep and for her to keep guessing. However, it made things in the lair very uncomfortable and avoiding her entirely seemed to be a legitimate option. His kept assuring himself the plan worked until hell broke loose that Monday night.
Although Felicity, Roy, and Diggle were in the room, the space was eerily quiet when Oliver arrived. Roy brooded in the corner while Felicity and Diggle argued in hushed voices.
"Just tell him!" he heard Diggle say urgently.
"Why should he care? It's not like it would affect him. If you haven't noticed, he's barely here at the foundry. Admit it, he has barely spent time with us since Lian Yu," Felicity argued, unaware that he was in the room. She was in a fighting mood tonight, arms akimbo.
"I care. This is my team," Oliver spoke up emphatically, carefully directing his gaze at Felicity. Her quip about not caring bothered him more than he thought. "What's going on?"
Diggle paused before gazing wearily at Felicity. "Nothing, boss."
Felicity shifted her weight on her 4-inch heels. She pursed her lips and folded her arms across her chest. She looked at Oliver, annoyed.
Oliver cocked an eyebrow at her, waiting for her response. Silence.
"Digg?" Oliver asked, finally taking his gaze away from Felicity.
"Nuh-uh. I'm not gonna get dragged into this. Ask Felicity and Roy. These two are nothing but trouble," Diggle replied, shaking his head. "I'm headed home."
Diggle picked up his duffle bag and headed out of the foundry.
The silence was stifling. Felicity refused to respond, and Oliver noticed that Roy's leg wouldn't stop bouncing.
"Roy?" Oliver called out.
Roy refused to meet Oliver's gaze. Instead, he pulled his hoodie over his face.
"Roy! I asked you a question. What happened?" Oliver demanded, enunciating his words.
Roy's disposition changed the moment Oliver barked at him. His back straightened up. He shoved his hood off of his head. His eyes vacillated between Oliver and Felicity, fearing them both.
"Digg's right. You might as well tell him what happened. I don't know why we have to be secretive about it," Roy replied through gritted teeth.
"I'm not being secretive about it," Felicity replied defensively. Her eyes remained on Oliver like she was challenging him. "I just think Mr. Queen has bigger issues to deal with rather than... ."
"Rather than what?" Oliver challenged. He closed the gap between him and Felicity. He hated it when Felicity addressed him by his title.
"Felicity and I kissed," Roy said abruptly. He held his breath after blurting the secret.
Oliver felt like he just got punched in the gut. For a moment, he felt like ripping Roy into shreds for cheating on his sister. He wanted to yell at Felicity for betraying him. But deep down inside, he knew he had no claims on her.
"Because if I didn't, you would've killed the jackass!" Felicity retorted, angrily confronting Roy.
"I knew we shouldn't have gone clubbing," Roy grumbled through clenched teeth as he walked to the far corner of the room.
"This is about clubbing?" Oliver asked, confused and a bit jealous. He wasn't aware that Felicity and Roy started dating. His fingers curled to a fist at his side, trying to prevent himself from giving Roy a knuckle sandwich.
"Oliver, it's been a month since... you know...," Felicity started blabbing, her hands moving expressively. "And seriously, after all the Slade and Isabel 'Rome is burning' incident, I thought it would be nice to forget that we're constantly saving this city."
Felicity clasped her hands on her lap and started talking a little softer. "I needed a break from crime fighting. I thought I'd also do Roy a solid by asking him to paint the town red—with me—because, you know, Thea 'Dear John'ed him."
"Thea did what?" Oliver looked at Roy.
"She found the arrows, and she thought...," Roy's voice trailed off.
Oliver closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Again, his secrets affected someone he loved. It may also be the reason why Roy and Felicity seemed closer to each other.
"Okay, so Roy needed a pick-me-up so you decided to-," Oliver waited for Felicity to finish his thoughts.
"Go clubbing," she said softly.
"And what happened at said club?" he asked as an uncomfortable chill ran down his spine. The worst ideas crept into his head. He felt his fist clench so tightly that his fingernails were digging into his palm.
"Felicity kept telling this guy to back off, but he wouldn't take a hint," Roy replied for Felicity.
"But I knew if Roy tried his own method of persuasion, he would've killed the bastard—so I pretended that Roy was my jealous boyfriend and I kissed him instead, but the guy continued to grope me, so that plan failed and Roy ended up breaking the guy's nose," Felicity explained in one breath, hoping Oliver didn't pick up on how ridiculous the plan was now that the anecdote had been said out loud.
"You what?!" Oliver responded, as calmly as he could. He wanted to play it cool but his patience could only take him so far.
"Oliver, I swear, I didn't mean it. I just...," Roy tried explaining.
"Roy, go home," Oliver ordered curtly. "We'll talk about this tomorrow." His eyes were now laser-focused on Felicity. "I'd like to talk to Felicity privately."
Roy muttered a quick apology to Felicity before exiting the room.
Beats passed before either spoke. The tension in the room was palpable. Oliver was keenly aware of the sudden rise and fall of Felicity's chest. Her face was flush. For a moment, he just wanted to hold her tightly and figure out how they could rectify what was left of their relationship.
"I can't take this," Felicity said, huffing.
"Felicity, wait," Oliver said, reaching for her. She felt like fire under his touch. She was going to bolt, and he had to stop her.
His hand wrapped around her wrist. Her pulse was erratic under his touch. He was unsure why she was angry but he was apprehensive that if she left, he'd regret it.
"Talk to me," he said softly. His other hand softly caressed her face. She flinched at his touch. She didn't used to, and he found her response disconcerting. "Felicity."
"Don't," she said, a single tear rolled down her cheek.
"Hey, hey. What's wrong?" he wiped the tear with his thumb.
"You can't just keep on doing this, Oliver," she sighed softly. She reached for his hand and grasped it.
"Doing what, Felicity?" he asked, closing the gap between them. She pulled his hand away from her face but held on to it gently.
"Act like a jealous boyfriend! Damn it, Oliver. It's been a month and now you want a rehash? You're just being cruel," she growled, more tears cascading down her face.
"Explain this to me. How am I being cruel? You know I care about you," he said, squeezing her fingers reassuringly.
"What happened between Roy and me…," her voice trailed.
"Was a friend thing, right?" Oliver sighed.
"Roy and I have been flirting with each other. Yes. We're both hurt. He's still licking his wounds. I…," she said haltingly, "I need to move on."
"Move on from what?" he asked once more. He was so close he could see the dark flecks in her blue eyes. The tears just made them bigger and clearer.
"From us!" she finally confessed. She pulled away from him completely and walked away from him. She busied her hands by packing away the papers she had been researching in her bag.
"I thought I was fine—WE were fine after the island," Felicity continued. "But you acted like nothing happened. And I was fine with that. Then I realized, I was waiting for something that'll never happen. I didn't know what it was until you spent so much time away from the lair. I chalked it up to you trying to get QC back and with helping Detective Lance, but then I found out that you're often here when just the boys are around."
She sighed, zipping her bag shut.
"If you just didn't want me around, Oliver, I'm a big girl. You can tell me to leave the team. I just wish…," Felicity rambled until Oliver cut her off.
"Stop," he said softly. "Don't even go there."
"Why, Oliver?" Felicity argued, her voice getting louder than usual. "I recall you saying that because of what you do, you can't be with someone you care about. But if memory serves me right, you didn't mind being in a relationship with Sara, or with Helena, or even the one-night stand with Laurel. I'd understand the booty call with Isabel, but for different reasons than you're probably used to… ."
"You know damned well those circumstances were different," Oliver argued, his voice getting rough and heightened. He undid the button to his collar in hopes to relieve some of his discomfort while arguing with Felicity.
"I know, and it's why I'm going to be moving on," Felicity huffed. "Thanks for the memories, Oliver. Good luck with your life and with the Team."
The thought of Felicity leaving constricted his heart so much he couldn't breathe. She might as well have slain him.
With broad, determined steps, Oliver walked over to Felicity, spun her around, and kissed her so hard he felt the room spin.
He thought it was crazy, how unsure he was about something he knew was inevitable. The fear of losing her made him realize how it wasn't just him who was hurting.
Oliver trembled as he felt her hair tickling the palms of his hands. She sighed as he let up on the brutal kiss he laid on her. With his kiss, he demanded a response. He nipped at her lower lip. He flicked his tongue to probe, to claim, to possess. He wanted the kiss to impress upon her that she was more than just a member of the team.
She was his.
Her hands were at his nape, urging him on to deepen the kiss. He growled at her coaxing. For every demand his lips made on her, she pushed back. Their dueling tongues danced and sparred until she pulled away to catch her breath. They clung to each other like their lives depended on it.
"No," she whispered abruptly. She withdrew her hands from his neck. "We can't do this, Oliver."
Her fingers brushed over her lips, still pink and tender from his assault. Trembling, she picked up her belongings and said, "Goodbye, Oliver."
"Felicity, don't go," he said, his eyes tearing up. "I need you."
She took a breath and paused. "No you don't, Oliver. You give me way too much credit. Remember, I'm just your Girl Friday."
"And my Friend Monday, and Sounding Board Tuesday," Oliver added. "I'm better with you around."
She smiled wanly. "That's good for you, Oliver. But what's in it for me? I give and I give and all I get in return is a hearty handshake… except for this moment with that kiss… it was so much like the one I had in my dreams, only with more clothes…"
She stopped talking and counted to three. "What I meant was, I can't keep waiting for you, or someone like you, to have me as a fallback plan. I'm young, I'm smart, and I think I'd make a damned good girlfriend if asked. But I am not going to wait until Prince Charming comes around to sweep me off of my feet. I deserve to be someone else's priority; someone else's number one.
"I'm not asking that you'd give up on your objective, Oliver," Felicity stated with sadness. "But you need to let me find my own way to fulfill mine if you won't have me."
Oliver walked toward her. He was confused and angry. He wanted her to realize that what she was asking was nigh to impossible. Toe-to-toe, they faced each other, gaze locked on each other.
With a finger, he tucked the strand of hair that escaped during their frenzied kiss behind her ear. Tracing the shell of her ear singed his finger. He couldn't get enough of her. And after that kiss, he knew he was done for.
With her eyes closed, she said, "I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm actually apologizing for, but I didn't want you to find out about Roy and me because it was a disastrous attempt at misery loving company. I didn't mean for Roy to get into trouble because of me."
"No," he said softly, as his fingers circled to her nape and played with strands of hair that tickled his hand. "I'm the one who should say sorry."
"Oliver-," she sighed.
"I'm the one that demanded things to be a certain way," he replied reverently. "I cannot live with myself if I knew you were hurt or if I hurt you because of what I—we did."
Felicity groaned in frustration as Oliver blamed himself again for something that was beyond his control.
"Oh Oliver, I wish you'd stop being such a martyr," Felicity replied softly. She pulled his hand from her nape. Then she proceeded to trace the light scar that marred his brow. "Things will happen whether you will them or not."
"That's my point!" he exclaimed a bit louder than he intended, and it made Felicity jump. He walked away from her, running an impatient hand through his short hair. "I don't like the fact that YOU invited Roy to paint the town red. I don't like the fact that Roy had to protect you from some creep."
Oliver paused and faced Felicity. He stared at her for a beat as he tried to get the words just right. He nervously rubbed his thumb and his forefinger before confessing his biggest regret. "I don't like the fact that Roy kissed you before me."
A soft "oh" escaped Felicity's lips.
Their eyes met, but neither moved. The silence was deafening.
"I want to be the guy you'd call to paint the town red. I want to be the guy who'd be happy to go to jail for punching a guy for hitting on you," he said urgently like a prayer.
"What are you trying to say?" Felicity feared to ask as her heartbeat raced against her chest.
"What I'm trying to say is…," he said softly, "is it too late for us to try?"
Felicity was surprised. For once, she was rendered speechless.
"Felicity?" Oliver asked, afraid of her response.
A beat passed. Then another. Oliver held his breath, ready to launch a litany of reasons why HE should be given a chance to be with her.
She tried to suppress the smile tugging at her lips. "I don't think so, Oliver."
Oliver let out a sigh of relief. He chuckled nervously and peeked at her through his eyelashes. "I was afraid…"
"Damn right you should be afraid," Felicity said, her tone back to being playful. "Not everyone falls for your charms, you know. You're arrogant, and moody, and unpredictable…"
"And yet you're willing to give us a shot," Oliver said, cutting her off as she listed his shortcomings.
"Heaven knows why I should," she said under her breath.
He casually strolled to her. He gently touched her dangling earring before cupping her cheek in his palm. "Because heaven knows it's time for me to come back home."
His head swooped down to claim her lips. And with that kiss, he knew he was finally there.