Edward vs. Jacob
One day, Edward was walking back from therapy and suddenly saw a sign that read,
WANTED
Someone that is willing to fight me.
Meet in the park at 12 pm sharp next to the fountain.
Love: Jacob… the WEARWOLF! RAWR! KEEP PAPER HERE!
"Oh goody!" (Edward skipped) "Count me in!" he quickly stuffed the paper in his "man" purse.
As Edward was walking home, he was thinking of things to bring to the fight. He got out a piece of paper and a gel pen, sat down in the middle of the street, and began writing.
"Number 1. Bella; to make sure she sees me win, I have awesome abs "
"Number 2; DO NOT BRING SHIRT; I want to woo everyone, heehee like I really need to try."
"Number 3; toaster, there's never a bad time for toast! "
"Numb" BEEP BEEP! A car was headed straight for him.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhh! A car! Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!" he was now crying, still in the middle of the road
"Get out of the way loser!" shouted the driver
Edward jumped and managed to land head first in a pile of dog poo.
"Ooooh! Squishy! Fun!" Said Edward, now rolling in it.
Edward looked at the time and saw 11:55 am.
"Oh no! I have no time to clean up! Oh well, I should probably get going!"
Edward merrily skipped to the park and made it at exactly 11:59 next to the glimmering fountain.
Jacob approached slowly from behing the tree with war paint on. "Hello, vampire, or should I… OHMYGOD! YOU STINK! JESUS SAVE ME NOW! IM WEAK! DYING! DYING! DYING! Blahhh.
Jacob was now on the ground portending to be dead, while Edward was singing.
"Hey, hey, jacob, you wanna hear something funny?" Edward took out his sparkly fake fangs and put them in his mouth. He turned around, and climbed up to the top of the tallest tree.
"I am Edward! THE VAMWEAR! YES! I SHALL RULE THE WORLD! WITH MY AWESOME POWERS! I AM VAMPIRE & WEARWOLF! I COMMAND YOU TO ALL SPARKLE SUCH AS ME! SO GRACEFUL! SO MAGESTIC, SO UNICORN LIKE! Ha... haha…. Hahahahaha… muahaha! Haha, isn't that soo funny? Hahaha!"
Edward was now shaking the whole tree and suddenly out of no where, a huge storm cloud hovered over the town, CCCRRRAAACK! BOOOM! SHHHHHHHHHHHT ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!
Edward jumped out of the tree but right before he was half way down, a lightning bolt had struck him and turned him into a falling pile of sparkles.
"MOMMY! IT'S SNOWING! IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL SUMMER!"
PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME HOW I DID! This is my first real fiction story that I have ever wrote, so please REVIEW and tell me any complaints or positive things I did!