Merely a mimic of The Unknown Citizen by W. H. Auden.
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The Unknown Shinobi
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(To PF/13 M 375
This Marble Monument
Is Erected by the State)
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He was found by the Military Police officials to be
One against whom there was no official complaint,
And all the reports on his conduct agree
That, in the shinobi sense of a civilian word, he was a saint,
For in everything he did he served the village and the country.
Throughout the War and till the day he retired
He did his best on missions for which he was hired,
And satisfied his employers, who never raised a stink.
Yet he wasn't eccentric or had any strange vice,
For his mission reports were punctual and held no surprise.
(Our report on his mission reports shows they were sound)
And our T&I Psychology Specialists found
That he was popular with his comrades and liked a drink.
The Press are convinced that he bought a bingo book every year
And his reactions to missing-nin profiles contained a normal bit of fear.
He was proved to be fully insured against misfortunes while out in the field,
And his Health Record shows he was sometimes in hospital but always left healed.
Following what the many Shinobi Rules demand,
He was fully sensible of how disadvantageous unpreparedness could be
And had everything necessary to the Standard Shinobi:
A flak jacket, communication radio, sealing scroll, and headband.
Our researchers into General Opinion are content
That he held the proper opinions in favour of his homeland;
When there was peace, he was for peace: when there was war, he went.
He married and added three-minus-one children to the ninja population,
Which our Eugenist says was normal for a parent of his generation.
And our Academy teachers report that he never pushed for an early graduation.
Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard.
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Ode to the Nobody, who might just be Everybody.