This is the way I tend to be.
"I remember you and the way you shine in truth in all you do
and if you remember me you could save me from the way I tend to be"
- Frank Turner The Way I Tend To be
In this Jordan has a younger sister, Maria who is seven. She was born a year before their mum left, and so Jordan had to look after her from a young age. This takes place straight after the show ended and follows Jordan and his friends. The facts behind the show are the same, but some names or little facts might be slightly different because I forget the details. This is just written for fun. :) I'm really bad at updating, sorry.
It starts a couple days after the last episode. Anything in Italic is Jordan's thoughts and anything in bold italic is Shane's thoughts.
Don't own the characters or the TV series and any lyrics I used or bands/brands I mention... etc.`
Thursday
As soon as he entered the old house he could hear the deep laughter, and it made him shudder. His father was home earlier than Jordan had anticipated, and he was starting to think twice about skipping the last half of the day.
Sounded like he had brought his drinking buddies home with him too.
Sighing, Jordan checked his watch. It was not even three yet. He can't pick up Maria until 3:30. As quietly as he could, Jordan went up the stairs to his room, to changed and grab his guitar.
Might as well just hang at the loft until Shane or Joey get there.
After changing shirts and grabbing his old guitar, he headed back down the stairs, and left the house unnoticed.
Unwanted.
The loft always came across to Jordan as a place of refuge. A place to stay when his dad got too much. To his friends, the loft was a place to drink. To smoke. To fuck. Jordan sighed, and took the hammock in the corner, putting his guitar on the floor. He gazed up at the ceiling for a bit,
"Yo, what up Catalano."
Jordan turned to see Tino enter, six-pack of beer held in one hand and he immediately tensed.
"Skipped school?" Tino smirked as he sat down opposite him.
Jordan shrugged.
Fuck me if he's still angry. Doesn't look angry though.
"You not angry?"
Tino shook his head, "Was, as you know. But whatever, I know you wont fuck her again."
Jordan nodded and sighed sadly to himself.
"She hates you though."
Taking a gulp of beer Jordan put confused eyes on Tino.
"Angela. Graff told me all this shit about Angela not talking to her and how upset she was, then she said at least Angela still hates you too."
Of course she does. I screwed up big time."
"But she still likes ya."
"What?"
Tino smirked, "Angela still likes you. I mean she still hates you, and fuck knows if she'll ever forgive you, but she still likes you."
But I can't live life knowing she doesn't forgive me.
"Yeah that Brain kid told me so."
Putting his beer on the floor Tino laughed.
"What?"
Why is he laughing at me? I swear that's all people ever do is laugh at me.
"That's where the 'letter' came from then."
Fuck not the letter. She found I hadn't wrote it, made me take her home and then at school said that we can maybe be friends but not more. Some bullshit about how she couldn't do that to Brian. If she really liked me surely whatever Brian was thinking didn't matter. She says we're friends but she ani't talking to me still.
Jordan frowned, "How'd fuck you know about that?"
"Rickie told me when I picked up Ray."
Sighing, Jordan played with a loose thread on his shirt.
Tino talks like he knows when he doesn't. His and Graff's relationship is different to normal. It's sex. It's fun. It's not exclusive. I don't want that with Angela. I want her to be mine and I want to be hers, in some way, any way. I want to mean something to someone more than a car lift, more than a stress relief shag, more than an older looking face to get into a club. I want, I just want to be wanted.
"Look man, no one cares who you fuck or don't. But this girl is not that type, and if you really are just interested in the sex, give up. It ain't going to happen." Tino told his friend.
"You think I don't know that. That's why I messed up last time, coz I wanted fuckin' sex and she didn't. It ain't about that."
Tino opened his arms out, "Just tellin' ya again man."
They sat in silence for a bit.
"It's not for the sex?"
Why does he keep going on about sex. Not everything is about sex. It's her.
"Look it's not about that," Jordan sighed, fed up.
Tino smiled, entertained, "So really?"
"I mean, sex with her would be good. But there's more than that."
Relaxing into his chair, Tino nodded, "Course there's more. Shane's been tellin' me all week."
Jordan laid back and closed his eyes.
Then why did he keep asking me questions if he knew already, it's making me tried trying to explain everything.
"So you want a girl friend. Who fuck cares?!" Tino told him.
Leaving his eyes closed, "Joey, Tom, the rest of the guys. ME."
Tino dropped his smile, "Why do they matter? You like her."
But girlfriends are different. That means meeting parents, turning up to places, going out, and with Angela, not getting any.
"It's just different. Like I'm, expected to do things or whatever."
Tino nodded, "Yeah but if she's worth it. If she will take you as you as."
I don't get why Tino is bothered by this that much. I've know him and Shane the longest. I met Shane when I was 5, lonely and had no friends. I met Tino when I was 7, when Shane made friends with him. But Shane has been the one I've talked to when things happened. Not Tino.
"Whatever man."
Jordan got up and headed out, Tino not questioning.
Thanks for reading! Please review to help me improve my writing, (it's not the most outstanding piece).