AN: I've been having horrendous writer's block with all my Merlin stories for the last month, so I decided to write this as a way to get the creative juices flowing again. This is the third in my series of stories about the Camelot Citizen's Association. The others don't have to be read to understand this, but you might enjoy them. But I hope you enjoy this and I'm grateful for any feedback!
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. If I did I would be friends with Colin Morgan.
SO YOU WANT TO BE THE PRINCE'S MANSERVANT?
Written by the Camelot Citizen's Association
Writers of the informative So You Want To Move To Camelot? and Knights of Camelot: More Than Just A Fancy Cloak!, we of the C.C.A. are always striving to present helpful guides for those going through the many challenges that people face in Camelot.
One of the most elite jobs that the lower class desire greatly is to become Prince Arthur's manservant. But be warned, this job is NOT for the faint of heart! Our prince has gone through dozens of servants in less than a decade, and more than half of them are either dead or mad.
So if you consider this high position in the Pendragon household, then please follow these simple rules.
Rule 1: Invisibility is the key!
The royal family doesn't really care about you; you are lower than the scum between their toes. They don't want to see you or talk to you, so do yourself a favor and pretend that you don't exist. Don't make a scene, it isn't worth it!
Rule 2: Learn how to sword fight, you will need it!
Prince Arthur has a bad habit of taking his servants with him to every battle. You are NOT INVINCIBLE, and don't expect that you will be protected from harm. Learn how defend yourself, or you will DIE!
Rule 3: Just because the Prince and his Knights have armor, doesn't mean you do!
Along with Rule#2 you need to be fully aware that the Prince and his Knights are not only better trained than you are, but they have armor! You do not! Prepare yourself that you will DIE!
Rule 4: Don't mock Prince Arthur, you will regret it!
The Prince has no sense of humor! You will be put in the STOCKS!
Rule 5: Don't be late!
The Prince has no sense of humor! You will be put in the STOCKS!
Rule 6: You might be a poison tester!
It is inevitable that you may be called upon to test food or drink for poison. If this happens then we have no advice, but you will probably DIE!
Rule 7: Avoid magic at all costs!
Don't be caught with magical items, perform magic, or be caught near someone who is using magic. YOU WILL DIE!
Rule 8: Don't lie to the King!
King Uther has an even worse sense of humor than his son. He catches you then you will be put in the STOCKS or FLOGGED (Only if Camelot is at war).
Rule 9: You will be used for target practice!
The Prince has accurate aim, but don't test this or you will DIE!
Rule 10: Don't expect a day off!
The last time a servant got a day off he was dead. End of story.
If you follow these simple instructions then you will be a manservant Prince Arthur can be proud of, unless of course the Black Death takes you.
This Public Service Announcement has been paid for by the Camelot Citizen's Association with you in mind. The Pendragon family (and Prince Arthur in particular) wishes to make it quite clear that this is an unofficial guide that they don't approve of. And finally for the love of Camelot, thank you for reading!
Merlin looked skeptically at the pamphlet that had mysteriously made it to his bedside table in the middle of the night. He rolled his eyes at the paper and threw it aside, walking out of Gaius chambers and on to his first day working as Prince Arthur's manservant.
What did they know anyway?