I Wish I Was The Moon Tonight

By GoWaitInTheCar

Notice: Don't own any of the Naruto universe characters. Simply a work of fanfiction.

Note: 8/2017 I have reworked some of the chapters to flow better and plot development. So you may have to reread through if its been awhile! I haven't given up on this story. Its just hard to get a moment to write. Thank you for the support and feedback over the years! It has encouraged me to see this story finished. Some people have mentioned my Ino being a little emotional and weak willed in the beginning but she is going through what a lot of young women go through during a harsh break up. The denial, bitterness, heartbreak and loneliness. She's never lost her moxie :)

Reminder that Shikamaru and Ino are about 21 and Kankuro is 23 in this story. They are adults.

Seeing Shikamaru with her tore her heart into shreds. It had been nearly a year since Shikamaru left Ino for Temari. He claimed he did not leave her for the Sand woman but within only a few weeks after telling Ino it was over, word got around that he was with Temari. Ino felt betrayed, bitter at not only losing her best friend but the fact that she was still very much in love with Shikamaru. He avoided her just as much as she avoided him whenever possible. She couldn't face him yet. She knew it would hurt too much to speak to him. Despite that, she couldn't bring herself to hate him or speak ill of him. He was still in her thoughts, longing to be held by the shadow caster's arms. Ino had not dated anyone or even had considered opening her heart to anyone else.

Shikamaru was back in Konoha from his stay in Sunagakure. His fingers laced around Temari's as they walked along the streets. Ino and Choji were walking back from their morning training when she spotted them a few blocks away. She knew that pineapple head anywhere. The sight of him gave her chills. Temari wasn't hard to miss with her dirty blonde hair and large fan scroll on her back. She stopped dead in her tracks and held her stomach. The sight of them together made her stomach drop and she felt nauseous seeing them so chummy.

"Are you okay, Ino?" Choji placed his hand on her back, hunching over to be leveled with her. Worry wore his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Choji. Just a little light headed, I guess"

"That's not good. What have you eaten today?"

"I had a banana this morning"

"And?"

"And what? I'm on a diet! I can't eat three steaks and a dozen eggs for breakfast" Ino yelled.

"We practiced with Kiba all day in the mountains. Eating just a banana isn't good for your body with the work out we just did. You need some carbohydrates, protein, sugar-"

Seeing the happy couple getting closer, she began to panic.

"Choji, you're right! Screw the diet! I'm starving. Let's go somewhere to eat! My treat!" She pulled on his sleeve as she lead the way to a small pork shop. Last thing she wanted was to have to face them. Not yet at least. For a moment while she led Choji, Ino thought of how good it would feel to beat the crap out of that boyfriend thief Temari.

Since their break up, she felt depressed and numb. Out of all the boys she had dated, his leaving was her undoing. Those butterflies she caged in her stomach were now starving for his affection. The way he had always made her feel with just a look. His kiss made her feel as if her heart had wings. His touch of flames and his gaze mesmerizing. He had always been her foundation since they had formed Team Ten with Asuma-sensei. She didn't know it then but over the years, she came to realize how much he had shaped her. He got stronger, more confident in himself and she wanted that too. Even seeing Sakura achieving medical jutsus made her feel she needed to step it up. He was always there to encourage her. Even with some tough love. With Choji, they had the bond of a family, the loyalty to one another like man's best friend and they could read one another as if they were one. Losing Shikamaru, she felt like she lost her bond with her teammates. But to lose him to another woman was a different bitter story.

Ino wasn't promiscuous or scandalous despite how some people saw her. She was a woman who simply looked for love in all the wrong places. She was still young and naive, ever so hopelessly romantic. She had expected the fairy tale love story since her first crush on Sasuke. That same dream was passed from crush to boyfriend and back round again. She had a fair share of boyfriends, none lasting more than a couple months before they found some reason to break up with her or cheated. She had shed so many tears, asking her best friend Shikamaru what was wrong with her that kept her from being loved, from being desired and wanted. Sitting on a large branch of a tree in the Nara forest, Shikamaru would hold her close to his chest as she sobbed. He'd wrap his arms around her, telling her she was beautiful and worth knowing, worth loving. He'd stay with her till she cried herself to sleep, himself falling asleep embracing her.

His willingness to be there for her at any hour of need and endless comfort made her see Shikamaru in whole new ways. When they were kids, he'd call her troublesome but now that they were adults, he called her a pain as he smiled. He had become a man before her eyes, one of strength like his father and handsome at that. She found herself always thinking of him and her heart felt light every time he was near. She'd be the first to greet him when he returned from his missions and be there to cloud watch with him as she cuddled into his side. Ino confessed her heart to him and he had accepted her just like he always had. She was truly happy and thought they would always have each other. Their relationship had been her longest and the thought that he would ever leave or cheat like all the other men she had allowed in to her life had never crossed her mind. In fact, if anyone had ever said he would do her wrong in the end, she would have been quick to defend him, defend their love. 'He would never do anything to hurt me. He's not like the rest'and she believed it. Ino completely trusted Shikamaru and immersed herself in that trust. The village admired their genius strategist so she never had to hear a harsh word about her beloved. After 6 months, Shikamaru started becoming distant, less affectionate and taking more missions involving Sunagakure. She felt torn between giving him space and trying to bring him closer like he had been. He always insisted he was fine when she questioned him but something in her gut told her he wasn't.

"Ino" he perched himself in her open window frame. It had been two weeks since she had seen him before leaving for a mission in the Rice Village. He usually snuck into her room through her window when her parents were asleep.

"Shika!" she greeted him with a kiss, her long blonde hair down. She slide her arms around his neck, pulling him into her. He broke the kiss, pulling back some from her and avoiding her eyes. She took a step back, wary of his behavior. "What's wrong?"

"Get dressed. We need to talk, Ino"

"Oh.." she was in her camisole and underwear. They had been intimate before so she wasn't shy about him seeing her in her underwear. She had hoped he would come inside and slide the panties down her long legs. It had been a while since they were alone together intimately but the tone of his voice meant something was bothering him. Maybe now she would find out what had been plaguing him. Sex would just have to wait she told herself.

She followed him into the Nara forest, a place they often went to be alone. The whole time he walked a bit ahead of her, not saying anything. Ino bit her lip, unsure of her lover. She couldn't shake the bad vibe in the pit of her stomach. Once they reached their usual spot, Shikamaru ran his hand through the back of his ponytail, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Is everything okay, Shika? You're acting strange" her voice was genuine with concern.

"I'm sorry"

"It's okay? Whatever it is that's bothering you, we can talk about it."

He groaned as if in pain and shook his head.

"Talk to me" she said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Ino, I can't do this. I'm so sorry. I can't be the man you want me to be. I can't make you happy"

All color drained from her face and she quickly lost feeling in her arms. Her breath caught in her lungs. She knew what this was but she couldn't believe it.

"What are you talking about, idiot? You make me incredibly happy. What is this talk about "man you want me to be"? I-I don't think I have placed any standards on you. I don't understand. I have always accepted you, Shika. Has this been what's bothering you? We can talk this out as long as we need to-"

"INO!" he yelled, his head still in his palms. She winced at his voice that had cut her off.

"I'm.. breaking up.. with you" he looked up, his dark eyes meeting her bright blue hues. She was speechless. Time had stopped as she stood there in shock. Everything she believed crumbled around her, her own heart felt tight in her chest. Breathing was hard.

"T-that's not funny, Shika. Don't say things like that!"

His face said it all. She knew it.

"You're serious..?"

Shikamaru turned to leave but Ino quickly grabbed his wrist. Her voice was pleading, desperate, "Please! Please, Shika, tell me what I did wrong. I swear whatever it is, I'll change. If you're not happy, just tell me what I can do for you"

"Ino, please don't do this. It was hard enough but I made up my mind. It's for the best. I don't deserve you" he couldn't even look at her.

"Says who?! It's not about who deserves more. I love you. You said you love me too. I can't accept this, Shika! I have never loved or trusted anyone as much as I do you. Just tell me what I need to do for you to reconsider" one hand gripping his wrist, another on her chest. Her sobs were hard and she could hardly make out his figure through the tears.

"I do love you, Ino. We'll always have each other but not in the same way. We shouldn't have ever gotten together. I'd rather have my best friend back than hurt you. I know that being said makes me look like an hypocritical ass but I'm doing this to salvage our friendship. I'm sorry. I can only hope you'll forgive me."

With those final words, he twisted his wrist from her hand and left her in the Nara forest in her own heartbreak.

Ino pushed the pork in her rice bowl around with her chop sticks. She rested her chin against her knuckles and sighed. She wasn't hungry but her brother Choji was chowing down without hesitation. Remembering that night, those words "We shouldn't have ever gotten together" she wanted to cry but held it in. She hadn't told anyone about that night. Not even Sakura. She couldn't repeat it aloud without falling apart. She had declined offers to train or hang out with her friends. Opting to spend her days alone, covering for her family's flower shop as an excuse. She had often stared out in a daze, wondering if he regretted it, if he missed her at all, had he ever loved her. Even as Sakura tried getting her to be her old self, she felt that girl was gone. As far as everyone knew, Shikamaru Nara broke Ino Yamanaka.