Opening a teal colored notebook and grabbing a black pen I would write about the today and the days of the future. "Hmm... How should I explain my horrible life?"
'I would wake, put on my uniform and get some breakfast. I barely ate anything, just cereal and then to drink is water. I never have much of an appetite, in fact all my meals are pretty small. After eating I'd take anti-depression pills.
"Has everything been good at school, Miku?" My mother asked me, looking at me with sad eyes. She would ask me the same thing every day.
"No problem," I murmured. I always said that. I put on my shoes and left. After maybe walking for about three minutes I would reach the bus stop, and there she was. Tei Sukone, she hates me with a passion and is definitely the cause of my severe depression. I've known her since the beginning of middle school. In 8th grade I date with the boy she was in love with which is probably why she hates me. Then when we got to High School, none of my friends went to the same High School with me. But Tei did. She spread rumors about me being a prostitute and other stupid things.
Ever since then random people would walk up to me either offering me money to sleep with them or telling me I should go kill my self. I'm tired of my life.
"Who'd you sleep with last night, Miku?," Tei would ask me laughing, sometimes she even threatens that she will kill me, and then tell me that I'm worthless and that I shouldn't have been born.
Thank to Tei I'm always lonely. I only get a little benefit of that. Good grades. Tei might also hate me for that too, she often calls me a smart ass or says that I pay people with the money I get for being a "prostitute" to do my homework.
At the end of the day I'll walk back home and a few times a month some of Tei's "slaves" will force me somewhere and beat me up. Aren't I loved.
I should probably ask my mom to drive to school and back, but I can't. My parents are divorced so she has to pay for me and my little brother and sister. Yeah I have siblings, bur whatever. My mom leaves before I can even finish breakfast to take the twins to pre-school and to go to work.
At night, after finishing my homework I start to feel angry, like someone got in my head and was disturbing my peace, I hated this feeling. All the feelings from the day that were built up are let go and I start to thrash about, knocking lots of things over and sometimes beating myself up. It happens thanks to my anger management problems I got from Tei ordering people to abuse me. I'm tired of life!
One more time, one more time...
"I'll also roll today" Is what I'd whisper to my self every morning after changing and putting bandages on my bruises and scratches.
Everyday I would have a teacher asking me "What's with all the scratches?" and I'd always answer that I fell. A few times have I told them that I'm being bullied.. But they didn't believe me, even with all the scars. It's probably because I'm a "prostitute"
There's only one girl I'm somewhat friends with, Gumi Megpoid. I rarely talk to her since she her friends know Tei and they keep Gumi away, well thats what I'm guessing. Tei will always be to blame.
Gumi comes over for lunch about once every few weeks. She may be the only reason that keeps me from ending my life.
Gumi tells me that I shouldn't blame everything on Tei, since some of the bad things happening could be because of the rumors. That were spread by Tei. By then lunch is over and Gumi goes back to class.
Today, personally was the best day of my life. Tei didn't come to school, which meant she couldn't order people around to bother me. I kept thinking horrible things, like hoping she got hit by a bus or murdered. Maybe even got an incurable disease and will die in a week. I kept wishing things like that happened to her for most of the day.
Today I only got glares and people telling me that I need to die, but that was fine, Sure, I didn't want to be told that I should go kill myself but it was better then being physically damaged.
When I got home, one thing I did after homework was point out things I should have done and things I failed at in the day.
During my daily rampage this time, a book hit my eye, my mom called the hospital immediately after she got home. Now I get to stay home from school for about three days.
During the first day of my healing, all I really did was sleep and eat. I didn't even go near my books, I was very mad at them. Although I was kind of happy since I got to avoid Tei and school more. The school called us telling my mom that I was absent, which was obvious.
Then something very strange happened.
Tei texted me.
How the fuck did she get my cell phone number anyways? I never give my phone number to anyone, especially Tei. The message consisted of Tei telling me "I hope you're on the floor dieing right now. But you're probably not. What's the name of the guy you have in your bed this time? LOL" and then some other shit.
Tei just added to the pain and made my feel worse, which was probably her goal. Fuck, we all know it was.
Day two of my healing quickly came and I basically did the same thing, sleep and eat. My mom forced me to eat larger meals. I still had cereal and drank water, but my mom added fruit to my diet for breakfast and vegetables for dinner. Tei also texted me and buy then I asked my mom to get my cell phone number changed. Fuck you, Tei.
On day three I went back to the hospital, to get my eye looked at. Unfortunately, it healed to the point it should be fine if it were to get poked or something, meaning I have to go back to school.
I still had gotten my daily rampages the past two days but I didn't hurt my self those times. When I got home, I had to take some new medication or whatever, for my eye though. So far the anti depressants did good for most of the day.
When I went back to school, Gumi told me she was moving. I want to stop breathing now.
This was the worst news in my life, my only friend, who I rarely talked to was moving. She told me in about a month or two meaning I would get to see her sometimes.
On my way home, I got beat up again. Surprise, surprise.
When I entered the house my mom was home early,
"How's your eye, do you think it's almost fully better. I hope the medicine's working?"
I pondered for words for a second, until I got something.
"It's still a ways off, I still don't see the point in the medicine."
My mom looked at me disappointed in the last part, telling me it was for my own good and it was so my eye can get better quickly without any difficulties. I wanted to tell her that being punched in my face was making it difficult enough, but I couldn't. The things that takes over my body during my outrages was in my mind again disturbing. Telling me to keep silent.'
I closed the journal I wrote almost everything in.
"I REALLY hope my mom doesn't see this." I murmured hiding the book in a very, very secret place. I turned out the lights and went to sleep.
In the morning my mom asked me how things were at school and I answer with a simple "No problem."
"Today, I roll again" I whispered, dashing out of the house and slamming the door behind me.
"It looks like a good day today, no need to bring an umbrella."
After turning on the corner and reaching the bus stop I saw Tei, she'd turn to look at me.
"Hey there, slut~" Tei said cheerfully. I just glared at her, there were so many things I wanted to say and do, but we were surrounded by Tei's followers and it wasn't going to end well. If I wasn't alive I wouldn't have to deal with this. Those type of thoughts ran through my brain A LOT. The anti depressants don't work as well as I thought they did.
Hopefully I can get the next chappy longer~
Anyways, I won't be updating "Processing.." for a while since the computer I was writing it on got messed up and I was in the middle of a chapter and I'm not going to rewrite it since I liked the chapter I was writing.
Anyways, if your confused, the first part is mainly a journal entry/intro.. I guess... Yeah I'm probably going to add random journal entries in this story.
This story is probably gonna be a hella lot deeper then the song... Maybe...