A Glimpse to Set Free
Summary: One-shot. What does Max see when she looks at Alec? Max thinks of Ben during Hello, Goodbye.
When Max looked at Alec, she didn't see him as Alec. She didn't see "494" and she didn't even see Ben. She didn't see anyone.
What she saw was her failure.
Failure to herself.
Failure to Ben.
She couldn't help it. That's why she'd always had a certain negativity towards him. She really didn't dislike him...she didn't like him either, but that wasn't the point.
Max refused to show him the other side of her. The real side. The human side. Where she was just a girl. Where she was weak.
She hated her own weakness. At Manticore they trained her to hate weakness. All weakness, especially her own.
But she was growing to accept it. Slowly but surely, through her relationship with Logan she'd learned to accept a certain amount of weakness, humanity.
She was especially surprised when he asked about Ben. She couldn't deny her own failure anymore.
Alec rested his head on hers.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
So am I, she thought to herself. She wished for another chance. She wished she could understand what happened to Ben.
She felt almost as if it was her fault. She didn't help him. She didn't stop him.
She knew his blood was on her hands, but if not hers it would have been Manticore's. And as tradition goes, if you know you're going to lose, don't allow it to be at the enemy's hands.
And that's what she'd done, for him. Her brother.
But having Alec around made her feel guilty. Finally telling him and letting loose helped though. His compassion helped her to move on. To finally let Ben go.
To let him go just where he'd wanted to go—somewhere where it wasn't confusing.
And as long as Max could dream, she'd dream that he was with the lady in blue. To a higher place.
Author's Note- Definately not my best. I just had all these thoughts and needed to write them out. This is my first Dark Angel fic. It'd be nice if you'd leave a review. Thanks.