Aloha! How are you? This is a spur-of-the-moment thing. I got inspiration and this was short enough, so I wrote it. And here it is. It's sort of a crack-fic, but no, not really. It is just a humor fic. Enjoy :)
WARNING: mention of death by AK
The Powder the Dark Lord Knows Not
By
Yuval25
The Dark Lord marched towards the next house, calm yet eager. His black cloak hid his body, making him disappear into the dark night. He walked alone – he didn't need his servants for this killing. It had been so easy to find out the Potters' location. Their friend gave it away without hesitation, driven by fear, loyalty and the chase for power. That was all there was to it, after all – power.
The house was lit. The naïve family thought they could out-smart him, that they could fool him. They would all be witnesses to his greatness, to his absoluteness. He is the king and the rest are peasants, and muggles and mudbloods are the cows and hens they feed off.
He broke the yard's fence. It didn't matter if muggles saw – they wouldn't live much longer in any case. As he came to stand before the front door, clearly stating 'Potter' in bold letters, he smiled menacingly. The door creaked when he opened it, pleasing him. He wanted them to know he was coming after them.
He heard them before he saw them – the man yelling to his wife to hide, to escape. The wife running up the stairs and shutting a door.
He rounded the corner and came to stand before the weak James Potter. He laughed and raised his wand, proudly and loudly spitting the words 'Avada Kedavra'.
The man died instantly.
He carried on towards the staircase. The new house reeked of mudbloods. That woman was dirt under his shoes, and he would gladly step on her. He reached the room the woman and her spawn had locked themselves in. If they thought a few locking charms were going to stop him, they were oh, so wrong.
He swung the door open, smirking as he caught sight of the frightened redhead. It was a shame he had to give her a choice – he would have much rathered to just kill her and be done with it. His loyal servant had pleaded with him, though, and he was kind enough to consider it.
"Not Harry! Not Harry! Please not Harry! I'll do anything!" the mudblood whimpered pathetically.
"Stand aside, you silly girl," he ordered. "Stand aside, now, and I shall let you live."
"Not Harry! Please no! Take me, kill me instead. Please, don't kill Harry!" the woman pleaded.
"Stand aside. Stand aside, girl!" he hissed.
She cowered behind a crib, tears pouring down her pale face. She shook her head, a motion so slight it was barely noticable. The Dark Lord does not miss a thing, even as subtle as this, however, and he snarled in rage. He did not have the time to negotiate with a dim-witted mudblood about her own life.
When the woman still didn't waver, hugging the small creature to her chest, he raised his wand, pointing it at the baby. If the woman died at as a result, then so be it.
"Not Harry! Please, I beg you! Have mercy! I'll give anything! Have mercy, please!"
"Av-"
All at once, the whole room was filled with black smoke that left all blind. The Dark Lord was cut off by the sound of apparation, a loud cracking noise.
"Avada Kedavra!" he tried to say before another cracking noise echoed in the pitch-black room, which was starting to feel suffocating.
However, he didn't make it before the woman and her child were gone.
Looking back, it was a really stupid fail in the plan. The woman and her child disappeared, and the Dark Lord was killed not twenty four hours later by a redhead man, with one ear and an easy, almost chilling, smile.
No one ever found out what happened that night. Albus Dumbledore was shocked when Lily Potter and young Harry apparated to his office, in anti-apparation-warded Hogwarts, no less, with a man no older than forty with fire-red hair, who was missing an ear.
The news traveled fast about the defeat of one Dark Lord. Soon, the whole wizarding world and some of the muggle world celebrated the Light's triumph over Dark. Hundreds of men and women, children and creatures in cloaks and robes went out to the streets to spread the rumor and as a result, to have to Obliviate thousands of muggles by the end of the day, if not millions, for the acts of magic in the joy of redemption have been broadcasted all around Britain.
And thus, the Dark Lord was no more, because of the redhead man who had the Powder the Dark Lord Knows Not!