Draco didn't like spending time in the Slytherin Common Room anymore. It felt cramped and suffocating there, under the lake and brunted down with the weight of the castle. A castle that was no longer a home, no longer a safe place.
In every spare moment, he was in the Room of Requirement, agonizing and on the brink of telling the whole world to fuck itself. And whenever it became too much, which it did more often than he wished it would, Draco took to wandering the castle's more isolated areas. Ignoring the lonely portraits' curious gazes and the silence only his own footsteps and shaky breathing interrupted, Draco felt his solitude caving in on him. It was alien, foreign, and completely unbearable.
Somewhere on the fifth floor, Draco slumped against the wall. He was bone-tired. With his eyes closed, he quickly lost track of how long he remained there, but he could almost feel the shadows lengthening and crawling across his waiflike frame.
He nearly jumped out of his skin when his reverie was interrupted by the sound of someone approaching. He turned his head towards the source, squinting in the deepening darkness to make out the slight figure walking quickly towards his spot against the wall.
Shit. Just what he needed— some idiotic Hufflepuff probably crying about getting a Dreadful on their homework, he snarled to himself. As he made to leave however, Astoria Greengrass came into view.
"Malfoy?" she asked incredulously, tucking a brown lock of hair behind her ear and holding a letter with the other.
"What?" he retorted rudely.
She snorted, "Merlin, get over yourself. I'm just surprised to see you here."
"Well what are you doing here then?" he asked sharply. He knew he was being hypocritical but he really didn't give a damn. Astoria Greengrass was nothing to him— just a younger fellow Slytherin and sister of Daphne Greengrass in his year. He remembered her being sorted because the dementors on the Hogwarts Express had made him hyper-aware of his surroundings. And Astoria Greengrass joining Slytherin had merited a slightly stronger response than it usually would have warranted as she was the younger sibling of another Slytherin and she came from a rather well-off family. This was the extent of his knowledge on the younger girl. They had never interacted before, but merely knew who the other was on a shallow level.
She raised an eyebrow at him with a rather pissed-off glare. And he noticed for the first time that her eyes were a bit watery. Damn. Dealing with a weepy teenage girl— the last thing he needed.
"Well, our dog died. Harlow, an eleven year old Manchester terrier. My parents just sent the letter. And since I'm pretty fucking sad right now, I thought I'd go some place where I could be alone, but of course, you're here," she said sarcastically and coldly. No tears fell out of her eyes.
He found himself speaking before he could stop himself. "Does Daphne know?"
She turned sharply to look at him, eyeing him carefully, before saying, "Yes."
"Why aren't you two crying about it together then?" he asked emotionlessly.
"I actually prefer to mourn in peace," Astoria said, her sarcasm veiling her state of sadness. "Daphne is with Nott right now."
Draco nodded before leaning his head back against the stone wall and closing his eyes.
"So what are you doing here then?" she asked as she sat down on the floor next to where he was standing.
He slid down the wall to settle down next to her. "I don't know," he told her honestly.
"Okay," she nodded and they sat in a surprisingly companionable (although still somewhat stilted) silence as they gazed at the opposite wall.
Finally he spoke again. "I'm sorry about your dog."
She looked at him, her green eyes meeting his grey ones.
"I'm sorry for whatever's been worrying you this year."
He blinked at her and stiffened while Astoria leaned in closer to his face and narrowed her eyes.
"Don't be surprised," she said softly, gently. Draco couldn't remember the last time someone talked to him in such a tone. "I can tell you're different this year. You're quiet. You're never around. You always look so tired."
Draco could only look at her with wary amazement that she knew all these things. Of course she wasn't the first one to notice his changes in behavior (Potter and Snape were constant pains in the arse with their incessant meddling), but she was the first to act like she actually cared, cared about him rather than the job he had been forced into.
"I don't know what I'm doing," he told her hoarsely.
"No one does."
"But if I fail, everyone pays."
"Who pays?"
"My family."
"Pays how?"
"They die," he looked away from her then.
"It's him, isn't it?" she asked, even more softly.
Draco gulped before nodding slowly.
"Fuck!" she swore, infuriated. "Fuck all of this. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him to doing that to you. Fuck him for everything!" Her voice increased in volume as she went on. Draco returned his gaze to hers and saw a tear falling down her cheek for the first time.
"Don't cry for me!" he commanded quietly, angrily, shamefully. Draco could only watch as another tear joined the first. "No don't, please. Please, don't." He was begging now.
"Okay," she softly said, in a determined way. "Okay, I won't. But I'm still mad."
"I'm mad too."
"Well," she said with a wry smile. "We'll be mad together then."
— — —
Going back to the Common Room hadn't been part of the original plan. He barely had enough time, but he had suddenly realized he should and knew there was no way he couldn't now.
He entered, his eyes rapidly sweeping around and searching. When he found her, sitting in a corner and talking to a friend. He walked up briskly, ignoring everything else in his surroundings.
"Astoria," he said and she looked up.
"Yeah?" she said, giving him a curious look but a small smile nevertheless.
"I need to talk to you, in private," he said, already feeling agitated. This needed to be quick.
Concern crossed her features. She knew him well enough to know something was wrong. She nodded before excusing herself from her friend and following him to a spot right outside the Common Room.
"What's going on?" she asked urgently.
"Look," he said hastily, feeling even more on edge. "Stay in your dorm tonight, okay? Don't leave the Common Room. For anything. No matter what you hear, stay down here, alright?"
"Draco," she murmured. "What's going to happen?"
He closed his eyes, squeezing them shut. But he forced himself to be brave for once.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry, but I have to do this. I have to…"
"I know, Draco."
"But, just promise me, alright? Stay here." He wasn't in a place to make requests of her, but he allowed himself this selfish need.
She nodded slowly. "I promise."
He nodded back, their eyes locked on each other.
"Be safe, Draco," she told him, before moving slowly back to the entrance of the Common Room.
He didn't leave until he saw the doorway shut completely closed behind her.
— — —
He was even thinner than before. The bags under his eyes more pronounced, his cheeks hollowed out, his impeccable robes drooping off of him.
The Hogwarts Express compartment was empty save for him. He had made sure of it. The last thing he wanted to deal with was Crabbe and Goyle's blundering stupidity. Blaise was equally unappealing with his silent judgment and smirks.
As he felt the train rumbling across the rails, Draco tried to mentally prepare himself for the upcoming year at Hogwarts. Having the Dark Lord stake out in his childhood home all summer left him with little doubt of what it would be like, especially with the Carrows there. This year would be worse than the previous, but at least he wouldn't be the only one suffering. It was little of him and he inwardly cringed at his cowardice, but the isolation had been so overbearing that if she hadn't been there for him… He sighed heavily and turned to look out at the passing landscape.
The compartment door slid open. He was pissed but so tired that he found himself unable to even muster up a sneer. But it wasn't Crabbe or Goyle or Zabini.
"Astoria."
She launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his neck.
"Draco," she breathed into his neck. "You're alive."
He mimicked her actions, bringing their bodies even closer together as he held her.
"Unfortunately," it slipped out before he could stop himself.
She drew back slightly to look at him. And then she punched him. Hard. On the shoulder.
"Bloody hell!" he swore as he grasped the injured area with his other hand.
"Don't you dare!" she hissed at him, her face contorted with anger and tinged with helplessness. "Don't say that!"
He looked back up at her and they just stared at each other, as it seemed they so often did. It was then that he realized that she cared just as much as he did and he was incredibly lucky.
"I'm sorry," he said then, his voice full of sincerity. It felt like he was always telling her that. He was always letting her down.
"You better be," she said in a small attempt at humor. "I'll punch you again."
"Alright," he snorted before turning serious again. "Are you okay? You're safe? Your family's safe?"
"Yes. I think we'll be okay. But what about you? Is everyone safe?"
He gritted his teeth before responding. "Yes."
She seemed to know that was all she was going get from him so she leaned back into him, resting her forehead on his. Their breaths intermingled and their eyes were closed as they felt one another's presence and existence.
Draco moved his hands from her torso to her upper arms then to her shoulders and down her back and up again.
"I'm no good for you," he told her gently, remorsefully. "Don't be mad, I know you're pissed at me for saying it. But you know it's true."
He felt her nod against him. "But I'm here anyways," she replied just as gently and she turned her head to kiss his cheek.
Draco closed his eyes at the intimate contact and turned his head too to catch her lips in a soft but meaningful kiss. He desperately reached for her hand and as their fingers intertwined, his other hand cupped her face. As he kissed her for the first time, as elated and happy as he was, the fear of what lay ahead of them once the train arrived at Hogwarts was still lurking in the back of his mind .
— — —
It was dark and Draco felt his mattress dip as a small, warm body crawled into it. He automatically reached out to wrap his arm around Astoria's waist as she settled her head on his shoulder with her hand on his chest as she did every night. It was the only way they could sleep.
Neither of them said anything. The screams that echoed and seeped through the dungeons, forcing themselves through the cracks and under doorways, said enough.
— — —
He didn't know whether she had stayed for the battle or not. He had made sure she had left with the other underage Slytherins, but he had a feeling that she would find a way to stay. Sitting in the destroyed Great Hall with his parents, he felt safer than he had in almost two years. But he was still nervous and frustrated because he didn't know if Astoria was safely out of the castle or if she was here somewhere. His eyes repeatedly zoomed around the room to find her if she was here.
Suddenly he felt a punch to his gut. She was with a small group of students talking to Slughorn and McGonagall. Probably being scolded for fighting even though she was underage. Without thinking, he sprang up and his legs swiftly took him across the hall to her. He ignored his mother's call and the stares of those insufferable Gryffindors as he neared where Astoria was standing.
"What the hell were you thinking?" he growled.
Astoria returned his glare with equal ferocity.
"What do you mean?" she snapped back. "What the hell were you thinking?"
"I had to get my wand back and make sure my parents made it out okay," he snarled at her. She was supposed to be safe and far away from all this.
"Yes," she yelled back, hands on her hips. "You had to make sure that the people you loved were safe. What did you think I was doing?"
"You not being here was how I was supposed to make sure you were safe!"
"Well tough luck, Draco. I came back when I heard him say Potter was dead. I wanted to fight, to see him destroyed, to make sure you were safe!"
"Well I am!"
"Well so am I, you bloody idiot!"
He closed his eyes, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation.
"Fine," he said quietly. "You're never going to listen to me anyways."
Opening his eyes as he felt her move towards him, Draco saw her smirk with grime all over her face.
"You look like shit," she told him frankly.
"So do you."
She shrugged before smiling happily and he wrapped his arms around her waist. She reciprocated and rested her forehead against his chest. Dropping his chin on top of her head, Draco allowed himself a smile.
— — —
Astoria had gone to spend the day with Daphne. It had been two weeks, but she was still recovering. Draco was still recovering. He was sitting in his office, not doing any work and leaning his forehead against his clasped hands.
There was a small knock on the door. "Dad?"
Draco felt the guilt seep through him. "Come in, Scorpius."
His five year old son opened the door and walked to stand next to Draco's chair.
"Are you and mum okay?"
Draco's heart broke for what felt like the hundredth time in the past fortnight and he pulled Scorpius onto his lap as he whispered, "We will be. I'm sorry Scorpius. But everything's okay."
"Okay," Scorpius whispered back and they sat there, appreciating the comfort the other provided.
After a few minutes, Draco's head shot up in inspiration.
"Hey Scorpius! Do you want to go do something?"
Scorpius eyed him with curiosity and interest before nodding and the two stood up to head out the door, Draco grabbing his wallet and wand on the way out.
A few hours later, Draco heard the fireplace whoosh as Astoria returned from her sister's. He turned to Scorpius and asked quietly, "Ready?"
Scorpius grinned, "Ready."
Draco nodded, smiling back and placed a gentle hand behind Scorpius' shoulders as they walked to the living room where Astoria had arrived.
"Astoria?" he called as they entered. She was brushing the soot off of her robes before she looked up to stare at her son and husband in shock.
"What…" she sputtered as she took in the sight of them in front of her.
"Mum!" Scorpius ran forward excitedly. "Look!"
Astoria reached out to touch what Scorpius held in his arms and she looked back up at Draco, her eyes still wide.
"Dad says you had one just like this one when you were younger!" Scorpius jabbered on, happily. "Here! Do you want to hold her?"
She took the small Manchester terrier puppy into her arms and brought it up to her face. Draco saw a soft smile spread across her face and his grin broadened in turn as he watched her carefully examine the puppy.
"Do you like her?" asked Scorpius eagerly. Astoria bent down to be on the same eyelevel as her son.
"Yes I do. Thank you Scorpius," she told him sincerely, kissing him on the cheek.
Scorpius shook his head, "No, it was Dad's idea. I just helped him pick."
She looked past Scorpius to see Draco shrug with a sly grin. Shaking her head with a grin of her own, she gave Scorpius another kiss before standing up, still holding the puppy, and walking to Draco.
"She's not meant to be a replacement," Draco told her seriously and quietly. "I know nothing can replace what… what we lost, but…"
"Shh," she told him before kissing him firmly. "I know. I understand."
"Okay," he whispered with his hands on her hips. She beamed at him then.
"What should we name her?"
That night, Draco laid back against the bed's pillows in contentment. Between him and Astoria, Scorpius was curled up fast asleep. Lyra, the new puppy, was similarly positioned near the foot of the bed. Scorpius had asked his parents to let him and Lyra sleep here tonight. Draco and Astoria, feeling more at ease than they had in a while, relented without protest.
Draco waved his wand to turn off the lights and turned onto his side so he was facing Scorpius and Astoria. As the young family dozed off, Draco reached out to grasp Astoria's hand and their arms draped protectively over their young son. Draco could feel Lyra curl up closer to his legs through the comforter.
— — —
"Bloody hell," Draco swore as he slipped on his watch. "Scorpius better be thankful for this. Otherwise I'm telling my parents to write him out of their will."
Astoria snorted behind him and she smacked his bum playfully as she walked past to get to the closet.
"Stop it," she scolded with amusement. "You and Theo can drink and bitch to each other once we get there. Just don't start a brawl with Weasley or Potter."
"Which Weasley?" Draco scoffed.
"All of them."
He rolled her eyes. "Theo's going to hold this over my head for forever."
She laughed, "I'll never forget his face when you told him where we were spending New Years Eve. Classic."
"Ugh, but seriously, a Weasley? Scorpius had to fall for a Weasley?" Draco sighed as he walked up behind Astoria to wrap his arms around her waist so they were resting on her stomach. He dropped his head onto her shoulder. "And not just any Weasley. It had to be their daughter," he muttered.
"Scorpius could do a lot worse than Rose Weasley," Astoria told him as she placed her hands on top of his. "She's smart, polite, and…"
"And a Gryffindor, not to mention the spawn of Ronald—"
"Oh shut up," she laughed, slapping his hands. "She's very pretty, too. She and Scorpius would have beautiful children," she said cheekily as she slid out of his grasp to put in her earrings.
She looked back over her shoulder to see Draco's stunned and frozen form, his mouth making an undignified "o" in shock.
"What?" she asked innocently. "Don't you want grandchildren?"
"My ancestors are rolling over in their graves," he sighed, recovering his ability to speak and move as he walked to stand behind her again.
"All the more reason," she grinned at him.
And he couldn't help but smile back at her.