Disclaimer: CLAMP owns them.
A/N: This is the third part of the Home series, set after The Sweetest Thing. This is also a 12-fics response, the theme being "temptation".
Rainy Days
Ever since he had again reunited with his little "family" Fay had been avoiding Kurogane. It would have been too awkward to talk with the ninja after his rather desperate display. What had he been thinking when he had kissed the ninja? Clearly, he had gone mad with hunger. Not that he would explain that to Kurogane; it would just sound like a poor excuse.
The children, of course, seemed not to notice anything wrong with his behaviour. They seemed worried about him – which was only natural, considering he had been almost dead when they had found him. For some reason, no matter how often they mentioned how pale and thin he looked, no one had yet noticed Kurogane's unusual paleness. For some reason the children seemed to fail at making the connection between his need for strength and the ninja's loss thereof – or perhaps they just didn't want to admit that their dear Fay-mommy was living at the cost of Kuro-daddy's wellbeing.
Kurogane noticed the avoidance, of course. He couldn't have not noticed, not with the way he was always watching Fay. However, he did not comment on it, allowing the mage to keep his distance.
He couldn't keep doing it forever, though, no matter how much he may have wished so. The problem was, he had no idea what else to do. He'd allowed his feelings to get better of him, not thinking of the possible consequences. There was no way he could just ignore it.
But he couldn't act on his feelings, now could he? He'd only get Kurogane hurt. If not by Ashura's hand, then for some other reason. In the end, he was only trouble.
Then again, Kurogane probably knew that already…
No. He wasn't going to allow the ninja to get hurt because of him. Not any more than he already had been, anyway.
This had led to the current situation. Fay was sitting by a window, gazing outside. The children's voices sounded happy from the other room; somehow Mokona had managed to coax them into playing some kind of a game. Kurogane… he didn't know where Kurogane was.
They had been fortunate enough in this world to find an empty house all for themselves. Of course, it might have been more fortunate if the reason for this emptiness hadn't been the fact that half of the town's population had fled from the raging storms that even now were flooding the streets, causing everything to be covered over a foot of water. The inhabitants feared the rainstorms would cause the nearby dam to break under the pressure of the rising water levels. As there was a feather somewhere in the town, however, they had to stay despite the risk, hoping their house would survive the flood if it came.
At least thanks to the size of the house, he didn't have to stay in the same room with Kurogane. He wasn't sure he could have handled that.
The rain had been going on for over two days already, with little to no breaks between the strong showers. This upset Sakura, of course, as they couldn't very well look for the feather in the storm. At least the children could apparently amuse themselves during this setback.
Fay's eye stayed locked outside. The violent rain suited his mood perfectly. Empty streets nobody dared step out onto, dark clouds covering the sky in its entirety, the not-quite darkness where the few rays of light reflected off the endless raindrops…
Suddenly, his peaceful if not a bit depressed silence was disturbed as he realized there was, indeed, a figure moving outside. A very familiar figure at that.
What in all the worlds was the idiotic ninja doing outside in such a weather?
Quickly he made his way out of the room and into hallway, which, like all the rooms in the house, was thankfully above the street level. Hurrying down the few steps leading to the door, trying not to flinch as he reached the cold water they could not get rid of, he peered out through the little glass panel set into the door. Although the rain made it impossible to tell for sure, he was now reassured in his belief that it was indeed Kurogane outside.
True enough, soon there was a knock on the door, only barely audible over the rage of the storm. Not waiting for the ninja to open the door, Fay pulled it open, letting even more water into the tiny stairway.
"Get inside, you idiot," he growled, moving out of the way. "What were you thinking, going out in this weather? Or were you thinking at all?"
"I kind of had to," came the dry response as Kurogane tried to squeeze some of the water soaking his clothes into the already-flooded doorway. "Not that I would expect you to notice it, but we were running out of food. Some rain can't kill me, but I'd just as soon not let the kids starve."
Fay was taken aback. It wasn't until now that he saw the water-proof bag Kurogane was carrying, undoubtedly filled with food, and felt ashamed. How could he have forgotten about something like that?
Of course, he knew how. He had no more need for food, not nowadays. Living off Kurogane's blood like some twisted parasite, his body not only didn't need to but also couldn't consume normal food anymore. Because of this, he had developed a strong dislike for cooking, which he had used to love, not wanting to be reminded of the change in his existence in such a way. Thus, no more responsible for the food supply, he had simply stopped paying attention.
Now, his inattention had almost caused the princess to run out of food. He had no right to call himself her protector. After all, he only caused her pain.
He was saved from thinking any further about the matter as the children and Mokona came to the hallway. "Who is it this -- oh! Kurogane-san!" Sakura exclaimed, startled. "You are absolutely wet!"
"Here's some food," was the ninja's only response. "Take it to the kitchen." Sakura accepted the bag with wide eyes, hurrying towards the kitchen.
"You should change into something dry, Kurogane-san," Syaoran said, sounding worried. "You'll catch a cold like that!"
"I'll live," muttered the ninja, but didn't protest. Instead, he took off his coat, twisting it to get water out of it. Kicking his soaked shoes into the stairs, he then quickly slipped off his shirt and twisted it somewhat dry, too, before disappearing into the direction of of his room. A trail of little puddles from his trousers showed his path.
Fay had to bite his lip as he looked after the ninja despite his best attempts not to do so. It should not be allowed for somebody to look so very delicious. Especially not when they were soaked through.
He tried to banish such thoughts, completely ignoring Syaoran as he hurried back to his room. Once there, he shut the door, doing his best to forget about the other door opposite to it.
He wasn't managing very well.
It wasn't until now that Fay realized he had got his trousers wet, too. Making sure the door was locked – it wouldn't do for Sakura-chan to wander in when he was half-dressed, after all – he pulled the trousers off, hanging them on the back of a chair in hopes of getting them dry. Browsing his rather meagre belongings, he looked for the other pair he knew had been there just the other day.
Fortunately finding the dry trousers, he pulled them on. Falling down on his bed, he sighed.
In the room opposite to his, Kurogane was probably just now pulling on dry clothes, too...
No. Best not to think about it. He was having a hard enough time with his imagination even as it was. He'd definitely better not think about that warm, strong, muscled chest of the ninja disappearing under a shirt...
Ugh. He was definitely bad at this.
Forcing himself to stay still, he didn't react as he heard the footsteps out in the hallway. His gaze wandering back to the window, behind which the rain still continued, he didn't react as his oversensitive nostrils picked up the scent of food drifting from somewhere else in the house. Not even the sounds of Sakura-chan hurrying through the corridor tucked at his interest as he did his best to forget all about the others, all about the reason he wasn't eating with them, the reason he actually was there and not dead.
However, he couldn't stay indifferent as there was a sharp knock on his door. "We just ate," he heard Kurogane's voice. "You'd better do it, too."
Fay bit his lip to keep himself from replying. However, his gaze had instantly darted towards the door, betraying his interest.
After a moment of tense silence, Kurogane said, "I'll be in my room." There were a couple of footsteps, then the wound of an opening and then closing door.
Somehow Fay managed to stay still for another moment. However, when he noticed the smell of Kurogane's blood in the air, he knew he had to give in. With a silent sigh, he got up to his feet, softly padding across the room to the door.
Kurogane was already waiting for him, as always, his slit wrist bleeding onto the floor. Fay tried his best not to look at the stain already formed on the floorboards, keeping his gaze strictly on the ninja's face.
"You are an idiot," he said softly. "An absolute idiot. You couldn't have at least waited for me to show up before cutting yourself, could you? You're in no condition to lose any more blood than necessary."
"You would have never showed up had I not cut myself," came the calm reply. "Don't even think I haven't noticed how you keep avoiding me."
Fay opened his mouth to reply, but then thought better of it and settled his mouth on the other's wrist instead. Kurogane indeed couldn't afford to lose too much blood, especially not because of him. He had caused the ninja too much pain even as it was.
As usual, there was a complete silence while he fed, neither making any sounds aside from those caused by his feeding. Finally – a bit before he was completely full; it wouldn't kill him but was good for Kurogane – he licked the wound clean and straightened his back, his eyes avoiding looking at the ninja until the wound was properly wrapped and hidden beneath the ever-present wristband.
"What the Hell has got into you, anyway?" Kurogane asked after a moment of silence. "You've ignored me before, but this is going crazy. It's like I didn't exist to you at all – aside from random moments, like my returning from getting food, when you apparently can't stay away."
Fay laughed humourlessly. "It's exactly that: I can't stay away," he replied quietly. "Most of the time, I can keep myself away from you, but sometimes... What exactly were you thinking, anyway? You could have at least let me go. I'm more used to cold than you are so I'm less likely to catch a cold even in that downpour."
"I've never had a cold in my life," the ninja replied. "Why should you stay away, anyway?"
"Because I hate you." Fay put his everything into that one sentence. He doubted anybody would have believed it.
"Hardly." Without any warning, Kurogane reached out, grasping on his hands. Thumbs caressing the soft cloth of Fay's gloves, he continued, "These say otherwise."
Fay tried to pull his hands out of Kurogane's grasp, not surprised as the ninja wouldn't let him go. "Don't touch me," he said softly. "Isn't it bad enough I have to feed from you?"
Kurogane didn't say anything. Instead, he just looked at Fay for some time. Then, just as Fay was about to speak again, he leant forward and kissed the mage.
For a moment Fay couldn't help but enjoy the kiss. Then, however, he forced himself to shove the other man away as best as he could. "Don't do that," he snapped.
"You kissed me first," Kurogane pointed out. "And you didn't complain then. Instead of feeding, even."
"I wasn't in my right mind," Fay defended himself. "Just… don't do that."
"Why not?" asked the ninja reasonably.
"Because…" Fay's words caught in his throat. "Because I want it," he finished quietly. "But I don't want to want it."
"You're not making sense."
"Oh, no. I'm making a whole lot of sense." Fay again tried to push Kurogane away but failed. Feeling his strength fleeing, he leant forward instead, pressing his face against the other's chest. "I hate you," he muttered. "I hate, loathe, despise you."
"Sure you do," replied Kurogane. He finally let go of Fay's wrist, only to wrap his arms around the mage. "Stop being an idiot, you idiot," he said with an uncharacteristically soft voice.
"I'm not," Fay replied without much conviction. "You're the idiot here."
"Maybe so." Kurogane didn't let go. "But at least this idiot isn't doing his best to hurt both himself and all those around him."
"I'm not," Fay said again. "I'm just trying to keep you from getting hurt."
"I'd like to think we have already established that no, you can't get rid of me," Kurogane replied sensibly. "So why do you continue to try to drive me away? I'll do my best to keep you alive regardless of whether you still pretend to hate me or not."
"It isn't pretending."
"Sure it isn't."
"You'll get hurt," Fay said after a moment of silence. "And it will be my fault."
"I won't," Kurogane replied confidently. "I can't die when you're dependent on my blood. And even if I do get hurt, it'll be my fault instead of yours. After all, you've been trying to push me away the best you could."
"Apparently not enough." Now, Fay didn't even try to push the ninja away anymore. "You will be the death of mine, Kurogane."
"Quite to the opposite, I hope."
"Too bad hope isn't always enough."
For a long time, they just stood there, neither saying anything. Finally, Kurogane spoke. "The rain seems to be giving up for now."
"Great. We'll get to swim tomorrow."
"It's not that much water, you know," the ninja pointed out. "We'll be perfectly able to walk."
"You know what I meant."
Again, there was a silence for moment. Then, Kurogane said, "Yes. I know what you mean."
Somehow, Fay had the feeling he wasn't only talking about the water.