At first it was just a game. It was never meant to go any farther than that. She was never supposed to actually care. That's not the way it was meant to plan out. But then again, nothing around her really ever followed the plan.
When she had found them in London, tearing apart her town house, she thought that she might be able to have a little fun with this. American's were so naive after all. Why not manipulate them to do all the hard work for her?
She targeted her. Not because she was the weakest. No, no one could ever call Myka Bering weak. She chose her because she reminded her so much of herself. This strong futuristic woman way ahead of her time. Helena knew what she would have to do. Get close to her. Form a bond with the girl. So that's what she did.
Singling her out was easy. Myka had a tendency of wondering away from her partner. Sweeping her off her feet seemed like the easiest route, though she never meant to physically do it. Though the grappler seemed to do the trick. Myka fell right into it. Head first, she dived into H G, taking everything with her. She helped them with this mission, but of course only to grab more of her trust. Saving the girl, Claudia, was just a kindness of her heart. The way the girl looked at Myka, with such admiration and respect, made her, for a lack of better word, happy. Helena didn't know what to think, this foreign feeling welling up in her chest. At that point she didn't even know what this was.
When she talked to Myka it's like everything poured out. All those years in the bronzer, all those years of building up her walls, everything just melted away when she was with her. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. But just because she had become friends with her didn't mean that she wouldn't go through with the plan.
Time and time again, they were sent together on missions. Pete was there of course, but the two of them could easily sneak away for a few minutes of solitude.
They shared more than Helena could have ever seen coming. Literature was a major find for them, spending hours in the warehouse library both curled up on the lounge they had Pete bring in. When they did leave their sanctuary for the Linna's it was a rare night when Helena didn't find herself crawling into bed with the other agent. They would talk for hours on end, the subjects ranging from Myka's newest find in literature to when Myka finally pulled back H G's last barrier and held her while she sobbed, muttering about her Christina.
Never was she supposed to care. That was not in the plan. When they went to Egypt, Helena knew what she had to do. She almost went as far as to ask Artie to keep Myka back at the warehouse. She could do inventory or something. Anything that would keep her from physically seeing Helena betray them. But she knew that that would just look too suspicious. When Myka looked at her with such admiration after the body challenge, it almost brought tears to her eyes. There was no way that she was going to be able to go through with this.
But she had to. This was the only way. When Myka pulled her out of her world, the one with Christina, she cried. Yes, mostly because it was so real, but in some part of her she cried for Myka. She couldn't for long though. They had to continue.
It almost killed her to see Myka's face before she shot her. She thought that if she shot them quick it wouldn't hurt as much. But she saw them, Myka, her face, and something inside her broke. But she couldn't stop. There was no other way.
It wasn't until Helena had plunged the trident into the ground twice that she realised what this actually was. When she had the cold metal of the gun pressed against Myka's forehead she realised that she was in love with the girl.