Being Taylor doesn't have to be suffering

part 1

September 2009, Arcadia high school.

I waved at dad as he drove off, finally letting drop the strong facade I had been putting on all morning. We have been distant since mum died. He was really depressed and I took refuge in my best friend, well ex-best friend now. Maybe he noticed my gloomy mood these last weeks and took the time to see me off the first day of high school to try and cheer me up or he was getting better himself.

I sigh as I turned to the entrance of the main building and started walking clutching my notebooks to my chest, not because I don't have space in my bag but to keep my hands from fidgeting. I've never been a social person, it was Emma who was the social butterfly, at most I had acquaintances with Emma as the notable exception.

It wasn't supposed to be like this, Emma was supposed to be here at my side. We worked really hard last term raising her grades so she could be accepted at Arcadia with me. Yet for some reason when I came back from camp last month she had changed her mind and insisted on going to Winslow high. Not only that, she made clear in no uncertain terms that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. The only different thing was that new girl, Sophia or something, that she started hanging out with.

Not even her mother or sister knew why she changed her mind and when asked her father only said that we should give her space. Zoe and Ann, Emma's mother and sister respectively, were really worried and tried to make her see reason, that Arcadia was a prestigious school and Winslow was little more than a recruiting ground for the gangs but Emma didn't budge. Finally a week ago they convinced me to try to make her change her mind again. The aftermath of that conversation resulted in me running out in tears because Emma used everything she knew about me to push my buttons and hurt me. That was the last time I talked to her.

Just remembering that conversation made my vision get blurry with tears. I was taking my glasses off to rub my eyes when I suddenly collided with someone dropping both my notebooks and my glasses.

"Hey, watch ..." I must have looked like a mess because she went immediately from annoyed to concerned "Are you okay?"

"Ye ... yes" I stuttered bending down to get my things "I'm really sorry about that."

"It's ok, don't worry about it. Here." She said handing me my glasses. I finally got a good look at the girl as we were picking up my notebooks. She had mousy brown hair and a face that for some reason seemed almost familiar. "New here?" She asked arching an eyebrow. That's when I noticed that I had been staring at her. Great, first day here and I was already building my reputation as the weird girl that goes around bumping into people and staring at them.

"Yes, it's my first day." I answered averting my eyes.

"Need help getting around, directions or anything?" She asked "I'm Amy, by the way."

"Oh, er ... Taylor." was my eloquent response as I offered her my hand. At first she seemed surprised at the gesture and for a second I wondered if I had made some kind of faux pas but then Amy just shrugged and took it. "They mailed me a map with my schedule and the number of my locker so I'm all set but thank you." I said giving her the best smile I could muster.

"Ok, then I guess I'll see you around." Amy gave me the last of my notebooks with a smile and walked off towards the entrance of the building.

"Uh, o ... ok." I said a bit too late for Amy to hear me. I sighed again and got the map and schedule out of my bag. "Now let's see where is my locker ..."

-o-

In the end it turned out to be a rather uneventful first morning. Most classes were the same, what we could expect to cover this term in that particular subject, with the only exception being homeroom were they explained a couple of special rules exclusive to Arcadia that were there to prevent outing the attending Wards.

When lunchtime rolled around I discovered that the cafeteria was big enough to accommodate two grades at the same time wich was good because it seemed like us freshmen shared the lunchtime with the sophomores.

As I had brought a home made lunch I skipped the line for the self service counter and went straight to search for a spot at one of the less populated tables. As I was wandering around I noticed that one of the tables was especially crowded. As I was trying to discern what was so special about that table one person caught my attention and apparently I caught hers too. Amy got up, took her still half full tray, said something to someone at the table and came directly at me.

"Hey, Taylor. Are you sitting with someone?" Asked Amy. I just shook my head still too surprised to give her a more elaborate answer. "Then do you mind if we eat our lunch outside?" She said pointing at the benches outside the cafeteria. "I was getting a bit claustrophobic with so many people around." She added as we headed to the exit.

"What was that about anyway?" I asked looking at the table she left a moment ago.

"Just my sister being the center of attention as usual. I swear I love her to death but sometimes she is exasperating. Plus she was getting all lovey dovey with her boyfriend and it was ruining my appetite."

"Oh, okay." I said letting the matter drop as we got to the benches outside.

"So, home made lunch?" Amy asked changing the subject "Good call, sometimes even I don't know what it is in the mystery meat they serve and that's saying something." She said with a smile and I got the feeling that I was missing some kind of joke.

After that we kept the conversation on light subjects like what I thought of my first classes here or what I could expect from each teacher. Finally when we both finished our food Amy got a resigned look on her face and said. "I'm sorry Taylor, I didn't introduce myself properly before. My name is Amy Dallon, pleased to meet you." She said offering her hand.

Wait, Amy Dallon "as in..." I said out loud without noticing.

"Yes, Panacea." Now I understood those resigned looks I was getting. Most likely every time she tried to reach out to someone they only saw the miracle healer not the person behind it. And to my shame if I had known who she was from the beginning I'd have been as blinded as everyone else.

Instead I saw a girl that probably felt as alone as I was feeling this morning. So instead of gaping or gushing over her celebrity status I just shook her hand and said "Taylor Hebert, pleasure is mine. So, you were saying about miss Hendricks math class?"

The smile she gave me was totally worth it. Maybe things will be all right after all.

-o-