Confused
An Adventure Time Story
(Scene #1: Treehouse)
(Finn and Jake are outside)
(Jake is reading an elemental ninja book)
(Finn is in an awkward position)
Finn: Man, how long do I have to stay like this. It's riding up my undies.
Jake: Just hold on. This book says to stay like that for a couple more minutes.
Finn: (sigh) Jackslaps.
Jake: Hey, man. Don't tell me you get this thing out of the Deadly Pine Forest for nothin'. Plus, you can't testify with ninjas.
Finn: Whatever, prickle-butt.
Jake: (grunt) Hey, it says you can go to the next step now.
Finn: Ahhh, finally. I can get out of this.
Jake: 'Nah. It says you have to stay like that.
Finn: Ah, what?
Jake: Yeah. Apparently it says it builds up fire in your buns or somethin'.
Finn: And that fire's gonna come out of my hands.
Jake: Yep.
Finn: (sigh)
Jake: O.K. Now you have to say these words. Ka-
Finn: Ka-
Jake: Sin-
Finn: Fee-Re-
Finn: Fee-Re-
Jake: And now you gotta do a flip, land into a punchin' stance, and then say Ja-Reen.
Finn: Then fire will shoot out of my hands?
Jake: Yeah. Do it.
(Finn breathes)
(Finn does a backward flip on the air)
(Finn lands in a punching stance)
Finn: Ja-Reen!
(Flames then shoot out of Finn's hands)
(Finn looks at his hands)
Finn: Woah…...That…was awesome.
Jake: Awesome? That was ridonckin' epic!
Finn: Yeah! I'm gonna try that stuff again.
Jake: Alright. I'll just keep readin' for more ninja status stuff.
Finn: A'ight.
(Finn gets into the awkward position again)
Finn: Ka-Sin-Fee-Re-
(Finn does a backflip)
(Jake is reading)
(Jake suddenly has a shocking expression)
Jake: Finn, no!
(Jake tackles Finn as he's in the air)
(Finn and Jake fall to the ground)
Finn: Jake, what the hey!
Jake: Dude, I just found out that it says that you should never do this more than one time. You have to wait like an hour so everything'll be in order.
Finn: Sack that.
Jake: Seriously, man. It says that bad things'll happen if you do more than it says.
Finn: Don't be square, Jake.
Jake: Who you callin' square?
Finn: Are you sayin' that you're un-square enough to do it?
Jake: You know I'm level, Finn.
Finn: Then, why don't you prove it, guy?
Jake: Alright, I will. Get into the position.
(Finn and Jake get into the awkward position)
Jake: …..Hey, Finn.
Finn: Yeah?
Jake: Since, when did you become all bratty?
Finn: What does that mean?
Jake: Just a couple seconds ago, you were soundin' all mift. What's that all about?
Finn: It's this new power, man. Fire really does put rage in you, you know?
Jake: Oh.
Finn: So you ready, tough boy?
Jake: Always ready.
Finn: Go!
Finn and Jake: Ka-Sin-Fee-Re-
(Finn and Jake do a flip)
(Finn and Jake high-five during the flip)
(Finn and Jake land in punching stances)
Finn and Jake: Ja-Reen!
(Flames shoot out of Finn and Jake's hands)
Jake: Dag. That was pretty cool.
Finn: See. There ain't nothin wrong here.
Jake: He-he. Yeah, I guess you were right.
Finn: Heck yeah I was right. Now let do one last one and get to our daily biz.
Jake: 'Nah, man.
Finn: What?
Jake: When those flames shot outta me, I felt, you know, winded. Now I'm all tired and such.
(Jake sits down)
Finn: …..Weak.
Jake: Whatever, man. Just do your last blast and come on.
Finn: Yeah, yeah. Whateves. Yet this time, I'm gonna make this one really count.
(Finn gets into the awkward position again)
Finn: Ka-Sin-Fee-Re-
(Finn does a triple-spinning flip)
Jake: Woah…
(Finn lands in a punching stance)
Finn: Ja-Reen!
(Nothing happens)
Finn: Ja-Reen! …..What the heck, man. Ja-Reen!
Jake: Maybe you ran out of juice, man.
Finn: (sigh) Yeah. I guess I'll just try later.
Jake: Alright, champ. Let's get back in the house.
Finn: (sigh) Yeah.
(Finn and Jake are walking to the house)
(Suddenly, sparks start to come out of Finn's hands)
Finn: What the?
Jake: What's goin' on, Finn?
Finn: There are sparkles comin' from my hands.
(Jake turns to Finn)
Jake: Woah. Weird. I guess that's like some sort of side-effect.
Finn: Maybe…
(The sparks from Finn's hands become larger)
Jake: Woah!
Finn: Holy-
(The sparks turns into an explosion)
(Finn is exploded into the air)
Finn: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Jake: Finn!
(Jake stretches his arm and hands out)
(Jake catches Finn while he's in the air)
(Jake stretches his arms and Finn in his hands back to him)
Jake: Finn! Finn! Come on, man!
(Jake tries to wake Finn up)
(Finn is unconscious)
Jake: Oh man. Come on, Finn. Let's get you rested.
(Jake runs into the Treehouse)
(Scene #2: Treehouse)
(Finn wakes up)
(Finn sees Jake walking in circles)
(Finn speaks in a Southern accent)
Finn: What in the-
Jake: Huh? Finn! You're awake! Ha-Ha!
(Jake hugs Finn)
Finn: What the- Get off of me!
(Finn pushes Jake off of him)
Jake: What? Finn what's wrong, buddy?
(Finn has a confused look on his face)
Jake: Finn?
Finn: What? You can talk?!
Jake: Uhhh…..Yeah. I've been talkin' since the day that you could talk.
Finn: But- but that's not possible.
Jake: What? Finn it's me, Jake. Your bro.
Finn: I don't remember any brother named Jake. And I'm definitely not related to a dog.
Jake: Finn-
Finn: And what am I doin' in these clothes?
(Finn takes off his shirt, pants, and his hat)
Jake: Ughhh…..Come on, man.
(Jake covers his eyes)
Finn: Alright…..Hey, dog. Where are the clothes around this place?
Jake: Up the ladder…
(Finn walks to the bedroom ladder)
(Finn climbs up the bedroom ladder)
Finn: O.K. There goes my hat and my clothes. Alright…..Alright.
(Finn comes down the bedroom ladder dressed as a criminal)
(Jake sees Finn in his new clothes)
Jake: What the heck is that?
Finn: This is what I've been wearin' ever since I was born.
(Finn pulls out his sword)
Finn: And also, I've noticed this sword in that backpack.
Jake: Yeah. That's your sword. You jacked up a monster for that thing.
Finn: Oh, really…
(Finn walks towards Jake with his sword high)
Jake: Uhhh…..Finn. What are you doin'?
Finn: Listen, dog-
Jake: Jake. The name's Jake.
Finn: I don't care. And if you're sayin' that I'm this "hero" then why do you think I'm gonna chop you up?
Jake: Wait. What?!
Finn: Yeah…So you take me to a good place to do some crimes and get some cash.
(Jake slaps the sword out of his face)
Jake: No way!
(Finn pins Jake down)
(Finn puts the sword next to Jake's neck)
Finn: Then I guess you're really gonna miss that throat of yours. Hehehehe…
Jake: Alright. Alright. Dang! Just get off.
Finn: That's more like it. Now let's go.
(Finn goes outside the Treehouse)
Jake: Man, what the heck is wrong with him?
Finn: Dang it!
(Jake runs to Finn)
Jake: What's goin' on?
Finn: Can't find Nightmare.
Jake: Who's Nightmare?
Finn: My horse. Ughhh…..What the heck?!
(Finn pulls his sword out again)
(Finn puts the sword next to his neck)
Finn: You better find me another way to get there!
Jake: Alright! Alright!
(Jake shape-shifts into a horse)
Finn: Woah. You're just full of surprises. Aren't you?
Jake: Just hop on.
(Finn climbs onto Jake's back)
(Jake starts to run)
(Scene #3: Montage)
(Finn and Jake at the Soft Village)
(Finn and Jake are behind a bush)
(Finn pulls out his sword)
(Finn charges at the Soft People)
(Jake is shocked and cannot move)
(Finn comes back with gold in his hands)
(Finn and Jake are in a tree)
(Finn jumps out of the tree in front of an old couple)
(The couple welcomes their selves)
(Finn pulls his sword out)
(The old couple falls to the ground)
(Jake gets between Finn and the couple)
(The couple runs away)
(Finn pushes Jake out of the way)
(Finn robs the old couple)
(Finn runs away with Jake by the arm)
(There are kids in a sandbox)
(One of the kids was eating candy)
(Finn and Jake see the kids)
(Finn walks up to the kid eating candy)
(The kid sees Finn)
(The kid welcomes Finn)
(Finn snatches the candy out of the kid's hand)
(The kids cry)
(The kids run away)
(Finn and Jake run)
(The children's mothers chase Finn and Jake)
(Eventually, Jake trips)
(The mothers approach Jake)
(Scene #4: Candy Kingdom)
(Finn and Jake walk to the Candy Kingdom)
(Jake has a busted lip)
Jake: Man, those moms do pack a punch.
Finn: He-He…Yeah. That was just hilarious.
Jake: (grunt)
Finn: What the- This place?
Jake: Yep.
Finn: This doesn't look like a rich place. This just looks like somethin' out of a little girl's brain.
Jake: Yeah. This is the Candy Kingdom.
Finn: Candy Kingdom, huh? People around here must be soft.
Jake: Well, actually-
Finn: Shut it. I'm gonna get into some trouble…
(Finn runs to the Castle walls)
(Jake runs after Finn)
Finn: Alright. So how are we gonna get over this wall?
Jake: Grab on to me.
Finn: What?! Ughhh! I ain't doin that you-
Jake: Just grab my arms.
Finn: (sigh)
(Finn grabs onto Jake's arms)
(Jake stretches his legs over the castle the walls)
Finn: Woah…..
Jake: Alright. What's next?
Finn: Just let me look around the place.
(Finn looks around the Candy Kingdom)
(Finn turns around and sees a chariot)
Finn's Thoughts: I can really sell that. Maybe for a thousand…..
Finn: Hehehehe…..Huh?
(Finn sees Princess Bubblegum come out of the chariot)
Finn: Well, hello beautiful…..Hehehehe…
Jake: What?
Finn: Huh? Hey shut up! I'm tryin' to find some cash.
(Jake has an unsatisfied look on his face)
Finn: Alright, dog. You see that chariot over there?
Jake: Yeah…
Finn: Yep. We're gonna jack it.
Jake: Woah. Woah. Woah. Who said "we"?
Finn: Listen. The plan is simple. I jack the car and you watch out for that fine lady who went into the castle.
Jake: Fine lady? You mean Bubblegum?
Finn: Bubblegum? That's her name? (sigh) Alright. Let's just do this do this.
(Finn jumps off of the wall)
(Jake goes after Finn)
(Finn and Jake land on the ground)
(Finn sees Princess Bubblegum again)
Finn: Wow…..Look at that piece of work…
Jake: Finn…..Are you O.K.?
Finn: Huh? What? Well, heck yes I'm fine. I'm about to sell that thing for scrap.
(Finn runs to the chariot)
(Jake runs after him)
(Finn and Jake approach the chariot)
Finn: Now remember what I said. I drive the cart and you take the heat for everything.
Jake: What?! No way! That's it I'm fixin' this.
(Jake starts to walk away)
(Finn stops Jake)
Finn: No you ain't . You're gonna stay out here, while I jack the cart.
(Jake holds Finn)
(Finn struggles)
Jake: Listen, man. This isn't you. You are a hero who doesn't speak like a nerdy cowboy.
(Finn pushes Jake off of him)
(Jake is pushed to the ground)
Finn: Alright, dog. Listen up. 1- I'm an outlaw; 2- We are jackin' that chariot; and 3- It's either me and my money…
(Finn pulls out his sword)
Finn: …or this sword and your throat. And I think we both know which choice you're gonna make…
Jake: (sigh)
Finn: Now you stay right here. And if you try to run away I bet you know what'll happen next.
(Princess Bubblegum and Banana Guards)
Princess Bubblegum: And what would that be, Finn?
(Finn and Jake see Princess Bubblegum with her Banana Guards)
Jake: Princess!
(Jake runs behind Princess Bubblegum)
Princess Bubblegum: What's going on out he- Woah, Finn. What are you wearing?
Finn: What? Oh. This ain't nothin'. And did you say that you're a princess?
Princess Bubblegum: Uhhh…..Yeah. You already know that.
(Finn walks up to Princess Bubblegum)
(Finn kneels)
(Finn takes Princess Bubblegum's hand)
Finn: Well, I have to say that you positively look beautiful today, your highness.
(Finn kisses Princess Bubblegum's hand)
(Princess Bubblegum pulls her hand back)
Princess Bubblegum: Uhhh…..Thanks…Hold on for a second, Finn.
Finn: Yes, your candy-ness.
(Finn winks towards Princess Bubblegum)
(Princess Bubblegum turns to Jake)
Princess Bubblegum: Jake, why is Finn acting so weird?
Jake: Don't worry about it. His head got all scrambled and now he doesn't remember any blizz.
Princess Bubblegum: So…..what now?
Jake: I don't know. But it looks like he's into you.
Princess Bubblegum: But you know I don't like him like that.
Jake: Are you sure…..
Princess Bubblegum: Really….Now?!
Jake: Listen, we'll just try to get him to remember some stuff by walkin' him around Ooo. Just ask him to take a walk with us. And if that doesn't work, then you manipulate him with your charms and…(sigh)…I'll just beat his memory into him.
Finn: Hey, what's takin' y'all?
(Princess Bubblegum turns to Finn)
Princess Bubblegum: Hey, Finn.
Finn: Yeah?
Princess Bubblegum: I just remembered that you, me, and Jake were scheduled a meeting for today.
Finn: Oh, really…When is it?
Princess Bubblegum: Just about now.
Jake: Cool…..
Finn: Alright, beautiful. So where is this "meeting" at?
Princess Bubblegum: He-he… Actually, we just have to walk around and talk a little. Just an observation of the citizens of Ooo.
Finn: Alright. Let's do this.
(Scene #6: Marceline's House)
(Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum walk into Marceline's cave)
Finn: What's this place?
Princess Bubblegum: Yeah…..Why are we here?
Jake: Just one of the few places that we're visiting today.
(Jake goes up to Marceline's door)
(Jake knocks on Marceline's door)
(Marceline comes out with an annoyed expression)
Marceline: Whaaaaaaaat…..
Jake: Woah, Marceline. Why do you look all wrinkly?
Marceline: I was just in the turder handling my business. Now what do you-
(Marceline sees Finn)
Marceline: Ooooo…..HAHAHAHA!
(Marceline flies towards Finn)
Marceline: Finn, what the glob are you wearing?
(Marceline grabs onto Finn's outlaw clothes)
Finn: Hey! Get off me lady!
(Finn pushes Marceline away)
Marceline: Hey! What are you doin'!
Finn: What are you doin', grabin' onto my duds you old bat?!
Marceline: What?!
Jake: Wait, Marceline. It's not what you think!
Marceline: I think I know what I think. And to think that Finn would hide behind Bonnie.
Finn: Bonnie?
Princess Bubblegum: She means me.
Finn: Hey, now! Don't you talk about my lady!
Marceline: What do you mean, your lady? She's not with you?
Finn: Yeah….She is!
(Finn spits on Marceline's face)
Marceline: Hey! O.K. you're starting to annoy me!
Finn: Yeah…What are you gonna do about it!
(Marceline transforms into her bat monster form)
Marceline: I don't know what you're doin', Finn. But you better quit it!
Finn: Wow…..Just when I thought you couldn't get any uglier.
Marceline: Why you-
(Marceline charges at Finn)
(Jake tackles Finn out of the way)
Jake: Dude. I think you should apologize.
Finn: Ha-Ha! I give apologies to nobody!
(Finn pulls his sword out)
Finn: Hey ugly!
(Marceline turns to Finn)
Finn: Catch!
(Finn throws his sword towards Marceline)
(The sword cuts Marceline's face)
Marceline: AAAAA!
(Finn runs and catches his sword)
Finn: That'll teach you to mess with my girl.
Marceline: I'm gonna kill you!
(Jake turns to Princess Bubblegum)
Jake: Should we go now?
Princess Bubblegum: Yes!
(Princess Bubblegum runs out of the cave)
(Jake grabs Finn and runs out of the cave)
Marceline: You guys get the heck back over here! Ughhh! What's wrong with him!
(Marceline transforms back to her regular form)
(Marceline flies back into her house)
(Scene #7: Fields)
(Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum are walking around the fields)
Finn: Well that was fun. What's next?
Jake: Next…uhhh-
(Jake hears the Ice King in the distance)
Jake: Next, we're gonna go fight the Ice King.
Finn: Ice King?
Jake: Follow me.
(Jake leads Finn and Princess Bubblegum to a hill)
(Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum see the Ice King with Lumpy Space Princess)
Ice King: Please. Just give me another chance.
Lumpy Space Princess: No! Just leave me alone!
Ice King: Come on. Just one more magic trick.
(The Ice King makes a snowman the shape of a distorted version of Lumpy Space Princess)
Lumpy Space Princess: Ughhh! What is that thing?!
Ice King: It's my loving tribute to you.
Lumpy Space Princess: That looks like something a butt would marry. Ughhh!
Ice King: Wait, please! You might not be much but please don't leave me!
(Lumpy Space Princess slaps the Ice King the floor)
Finn: Wow…That guy is terrible a pickin' up chicks.
Jake: I know, right? O.K. now let's-
Finn: It's alright. It's alright. I think I know why you guys took me to find this guy. But I'm gonna let you know I'm not gonna like it.
(Finn walks to a crying Ice King)
Jake: Be gentle, man.
(Finn approaches the Ice King)
Finn: Hey.
Ice King: Oh. Another rejection and now this. O.K., man. Just make it quick.
Finn: Don't worry old timer, I'm not gonna mug you. I'm just here to spread a word.
Ice King: What? O.K. this is a sneak attack. Where are they coming from?!
Finn: No. Just listen. Calm down.
(Finn sits down next to the Ice King)
Finn: Alright, Ice King. It's obvious to say that you are not good at attracting ladies.
Ice King: As if you didn't know.
Finn: Well here's a tip that'll get chicks to go all over you.
Ice King: What?! Tell me!
Finn: O.K. Just listen.
(Eventually, Finn walks to Jake and Princess Bubblegum)
Princess Bubblegum: What happened?
Finn: Just gave that old guy some dating advice.
Jake: Ahh, what. No you were supposed to beat up the tool, man.
Finn: Like, my dad says, "No dog is that old to get down." And hopefully that'll work with you and me pinky.
(Princess Bubblegum blushes)
Jake: O.K…..Well I think it's about time to go back to the castle.
Finn: Really?
Princess Bubblegum: Yeah, really?
Jake: Yeah we're…..gonna have dinner. Right, princess?
Princess Bubblegum: Oh, right. Well let's go.
(Jake grows)
(Jake puts Finn and Princess Bubblegum on his back)
(Jake runs for the Candy Kingdom)
(Scene #8: Candy Kingdom Dining Room)
(Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum are seated)
(Peppermint Butler serves Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum plates of spaghetti)
Finn: Spaghetti, huh? Finally, something that's normal.
Jake: Yep. Come on. Let's dig in.
(Finn starts eating the spaghetti)
Princess Bubblegum: Psst…
(Jake turns to Princess Bubblegum)
Princess Bubblegum: (whispers) Do you have any other plans?
Jake: (whispers) No. So it looks like I'm gonna have to beat his memory into him. Now I'm gonna leave and then I'll do my plan.
Finn: Hey. What are y'all whisperin'?
Jake: Nothin' important. Now let's eat.
(Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum start eating)
Jake: This is pretty good.
Finn: Eh- It ain't that bad.
(Eventually, Jake moans)
Jake: Oh. He-he. I think I have to get rid of the stuff. I'll be right back.
(Jake walks out of the room)
Finn: …..Hey…..It's seems that we're alone, princess…
Princess Bubblegum: Oh…..Yeah. It sure seems like it…He-he.
Finn: You know what, princess.
Princess Bubblegum: What?
(Eventually, Princess Bubblegum sees Jake with a shovel)
(Jake quietly walks towards Finn)
Finn: I was thinkin' that me and you ditch the dog, burn this place down, and make a family where no one can bother us.
Princess Bubblegum: Oh…..Well…..uhhh…..Sure, I would like to do this.
Finn: That's grand, princess. No there's one thing I still need to take care of.
(Jake is behind Finn)
(Jake prepares to hit Finn with the shovel)
(Finn turns around and tackles Jake to the ground)
(Finn holds Jake down)
(Jake drops his shovel)
Finn: You didn't think I would leave you out of this equation, did you?
(Jake struggles to get out of Finn's grasp)
(Finn pulls his sword out of his backpack)
Finn: Face it, dog. Now that I'm gonna claim this lady's love and money, there's nothin' that could keep me from puttin' this sword in your neck. So make sure that you're good in the heavens alright? Goodbye…
(Finn raises his sword in the air)
(Jake closes his eyes in grief)
(Then, Princess Bubblegum grabs the fallen shovel)
(Princess Bubblegum hits Finn in the head with the shovel)
(Finn is temporally knocked out)
Jake: Finn!
(Jake rubs Finn's face)
(Finn wakes up)
(Finn speaks in his normal voice)
Finn: Ughhh…..Dang…..
Jake: Dude, are you O.K.?
Finn: Yeah. But what the heck happened? What are we doin' here?
Jake: Long story. Now let's go home.
Finn: O.K. well…..see y'all later.
(Scene #9: The Front of the Candy Kingdom)
(Finn and Jake are walking in front of the Candy Kingdom walls)
Finn: So you're saying that I was a low-down dirty criminal in the past few hours?
Jake: Yep.
Finn: Dang…Hope I didn't hurt bust up anyone.
(Jake has a shocked expression)
Jake: Well I wouldn't say that for sure…
(Finn and Jake see an angry mob)
Soft Person: There he is! That's the boy who robbed me!
Old Man: That's the young man who put my wife in the hospital!
Marceline: And that tool, is the guy that cut my face!
(Marceline takes Finn down)
Marceline: What are you gonna do now, Finn? Huh?!
(Jake pulls Marceline off of Finn's body)
Jake: Hey! Hey! Listen y'all! I'm will the first to say that Finn is terribly sorry for all of the messed up stuff that he's done.
Finn: And I swear that I will pay my debt to all y'all. And I think I know the way how.
(Scene #10: Treehouse)
(Finn's head is in the hole of a board)
(There is a line of people in front of Jake)
(Jake has a bag of garbage)
(The people are grabbing garbage and then throw it at Finn's face)
Jake: Come on, people. Throw some junk in Finn's face. And remember there's a knife somewhere in there if you're lucky.
(The knife is behind Jake's back)
(Eventually, all off the garbage is gone)
Jake: Alright, folks. All of the stuff is gone. You can go home now.
(The angry mob leaves)
(Jake walks to Finn)
(Finn's face is covered in garbage)
Jake: You O.K., buddy?
Finn: Yep. I deserve it, anyway.
Jake: Whatever, man. Let's just get you in the shower. You stink like bathroom crud.
Finn: He-he. Alright. Let's go.
(Finn and Jake walk back into the Treehouse)
The End