It's 6AM and as much as I wanted to go back to sleep, I can't. This song kept calling me for some reason. There's two translation of the song title, one is 'Nervous' and the other is 'Anxious'. I'm not sure which one is the accurate translation, but the more I listen to the song the more I thought it should have been accurately translated to 'Anxious' instead of 'Nervous'. Ahh... Why am I such a sucker for ballads? 2AM is 3. Yes, I'm 4 hours too late heheh... One-shot!
"I'm sorry, sunbae," Ga Eul apologized, giving Yi Jeong the kind of puppy eye look that was enough to make him agree to her every whim. He wanted to hate it, but he couldn't, there was just something about that look that looked perfect on Ga Eul. It looked perfect in his eyes. "I was just thinking about one of my students," She added, tugging onto his forearm as she did. Yi Jeong managed a sigh. He could never stay mad at Ga Eul for a very long time. No, he was never really angry at Ga Eul. They had been dating for a little over a year, he still remembered that day, the day he had returned and went straight to see her. He remembered how he tried to act cool and not to stumble over his words, even if his inside was anything but cool, he was nervous for the first time in his life. He remembered the embarrassment look on her face. He had loved everything about the times that they had spent together.
It was just that, just that, he wasn't even sure why. Lately it was as if she was no longer with him. Even when she stood or sat before him as he talked, it was like her thoughts were miles away. That was not only it. He didn't even want to think about the cancelled dates they had for the past couple of months. He shouldn't worry; he didn't even know why however he had become somewhat anxious. In the past he could have just brushed it off when a girl ignored him. In fact, he didn't remember if there was a time when any girl had ever ignored him. Just her, just Chu Ga Eul. She could really shake him and he felt helpless.
"I'm sorry, sunbae, but Ji Hoo-sunbae called and asked if I could help him out at the clinic this weekend," Ga Eul stated and Yi Jeong could only groan inwardly. Part of him wanted to skin his friend alive for even asking for Ga Eul's help in the first place. Didn't they know? She was too kind for her own good, too trusting. She could never say no to her friends and would do anything if she could lighten up their burden. He remembered how she once had came to see him to ask if he could give up the match and allow Jan Di and Ji Hoo to win so that they could stay at Shinhwa. He had found the trait both admirable and annoying then; he still does, especially when she decided it was alright to cancel their dates just so that she could come to her friend's rescue. Well, just the one friend, Geum Jan Di who had practically deluded Ji Hoo into thinking it was fine to ask for Ga Eul's help any time, any place. He ought to have a word with Gu Jun Pyo and Ji Hoo one of these days. Still, he acted as if nothing was wrong and of course, he showed up at the clinic to 'help' as well.
"Your student?" Yi Jeong asked, masking his annoyance well. Sometimes the years he had spent being a Casanova came in handy. His hand traveled, slowly lacing his fingers with hers. He didn't even miss the blush that was apparent on her face. The sight was so reassuring that he had almost sighed if he had not been trying to keep his composure. "Yes, one of them will be leaving by the end of the semester, her parents are relocating," Ga Eul explained enthusiastically. Yi Jeong nodded on queue, as if he was really interested of the whole story. He loved her, every bit of her, and he loved listening to her talking about her students. But, yes, but sometimes he really wanted just to talk about them or nothing at all. It was getting harder these days that left him uneasy.
"It's normal for us, especially when our parents' business is in trouble," Yi Jeong replied. He had his fair share of loosing classmates during his school years. Before the whole F4 and the red card, he was used to not seeing a couple or more faces with each year passing. Ga Eul pouted, clearly it was not the case for her, of course not; she could still name and thought of everyone that was listed in her year book fondly. Yi Jeong grinned, trying his hardest not to think how much he would rather sigh instead. "It's the way of life for us," He added, as if expecting for her to understand it. Though, he knew even if she could, she would probably refuse to.
"It's just sad," Ga Eul stated. Her voice sounded gloomy, it was not hard to miss. "I know," Yi Jeong replied. It was the only thing he could say as he pulled Ga Eul into his arms. However, no, he doesn't know. His closest friends and only friends, he was lucky enough to still have them in his life. Sure, there had been ups and downs. Still, they managed to get through it all and somehow come out alive. "When is she leaving?" Yi Jeong asked casually. He knew that he should have changed the subject; still, seeing Ga Eul sad was not something he could tolerate. He had to help her get it out of her system. At least, maybe, just maybe then they could refocus on something else.
He could feel her sigh. "A week before the end of the semester," Ga Eul stated simply. It was easy to see that Ga Eul would be the saddest one in the classroom on that day. Her students would be fine; every child that went to Shinwha was raised to know their relationships had always been for the sake of their parents' convenience. There was hardly anything pure, even when you're five. There had been exception, he should know. The F4 was the exception but, even that their friendships were more to their benefit. It wasn't until some random commoner kicked her way into their lives that each and everyone of them learned and practice their loyalty to each other. It wasn't until Ga Eul walked into his life that Yi Jeong learned there are such things as relationships that required absolutely no material or personal gain, just the company around you was enough.
"Well, maybe you could organize a farewell party for her, it would be nice to give her something to remember," Yi Jeong suggested. The back of his mind was screaming; great Yi Jeong, give her more excuse to spend less time with you. "That's a great idea!" Ga Eul squealed happily as she jumped free, out of Yi Jeong's embrace. The sudden absence left Yi Jeong uneasy, still, at the sight of Ga Eul's face lighting up, Yi Jeong couldn't help but smile and pushed back all his worries at the back of his mind. "I wonder what type of –" Ga Eul's voice trailed as she tried to plan the entire event in her head. A sigh finally betrayed Yi Jeong's composure. It was fortunate that Ga Eul was not too preoccupied that she caught it.
"Sunbae, what's wrong?" Ga Eul asked worriedly, abandoning the ideas she had about the party to the back of her mind. "Nothing," Yi Jeong replied with a small smile as he reached to laced his hand with Ga Eul's again. Worried lines contorted on Ga Eul's face as she studied Yi Jeong's composure. It was unnerving for her to be around Yi Jeong still. He was still So Yi Jeong after all, even when he decided to leave behind his Casanova ways. "It's nothing," Yi Jeong added, squeezing Ga Eul's hand slightly as his gaze fell upon her as if he was trying to capture it inside his memory for all eternity. "It's just that," He continued but stopped before he closed the gap between him and Ga Eul, but not quite close that she was in his arms again.
"You're bordering on stalking, you know that, right?" Ji Hoo stated absentmindedly as he stood beside Yi Jeong, pretending to find the chart on the wall to be extremely interesting. Still, he didn't miss a beat; catching Yi Jeong squirmed uneasily in his own skin unable to find a word to say. "If you want to keep her, you already know what you ought to do," Ji Hoo added, amused as he stalked off, leaving Yi Jeong gawking. His gaze followed Ji Hoo as he walked, catching a glimpse of Ga Eul at the other end of the room attending to the growing number of patients. She caught him staring causing her to blush, he couldn't help but threw her a small smile. Soon enough, Jan Di appeared to steal her away, making him groan in annoyance.
"I hate it," Yi Jeong stated softly, studying Ga Eul's expression. The worried lines deepened. "I hate not seeing you, I hate being apart from you, I hate not spending every hour with you, hell, I hate not spending every second with you," He added, watching the worried lines disappear as Ga Eul's face reddened. "I'm so –" Ga Eul began to apologize, but Yi Jeong beat her to the punch. "No, don't," He stated quickly. "Let me finish," He added. Now or never, Yi Jeong heard his brain telling him. "I don't want to do this anymore, I hate it, it's driving me crazy," He rambled as he pulled out a box out of his pocket. He had it for weeks, ever since the talk he had with Ji Hoo. He watched as Ga Eul's expression changed; embarrassment, shock, worry, happiness, all of it mixed into one look.
"So, marry me, stay with me, don't ever leave me," Yi Jeong stated finally as he opened the box, revealing the perfectly Solitaire cut engagement ring. He could hear his heart thundering, waiting for her answer, even for a moment felt like a lifetime and Ga Eul seemed to be taking her time. "Yes," Ga Eul muttered, Yi Jeong could have missed it if he wasn't listening to her intently. "Yes," She repeated, a little louder, causing him to smile. He pulled her close, planting a searing kiss onto her perfect lips. Mine.
Originally published on "Lovers Unparalleled" 24th August 2011