For my Charlie
…
The summer following Kurt and Finn's senior year was hectic for many reasons. The plan had been to have a little road trip, visiting more than a few colleges on the way—both boys were undecided on their plans, and probably taking a year off before attending school. However, with Ava turning two on Finn's nineteenth birthday, they had to take into consideration the fact that road tripping with a two year old who was sassy and talkative wasn't the best idea. Instead, Burt and Carole paid for a two week long family vacation to New York City.
Kurt packed for both himself and Finn. "It's gonna be hot. Grab some sunscreen."
"Eh, maybe I'll tan."
"Finn." Kurt looked at him with the most dramatically irritated of looks. "You don't tan. You freckle and burn like I do. Besides, you know Ava's gonna need it too. Dad and Carole forget that kind of thing."
Finn sighed. "If Ava were never born—"
"Then you would have one hell of a sunburn. Go on, grab the sunscreen." Finn grunted and bounded up the stairs.
Kurt smiled at the satisfaction of having some quiet time. Of course, in the Hummel-Hudson household, that never lasted long.
"KURTY! KURTY! KURTY!" came a high-pitched squeal from the top of the stairs. "I come downstairs?"
"Come on, Monkey." Kurt zipped up the suitcase and turned to look at his sister. "Who dressed you this morning, sweetheart?"
"Finny…" the toddler twirled a few times before furrowing her brow at Kurt. "I look cute?"
Kurt had to admit, the girl had a unique style. She was wearing a purple leotard with an orange tutu around her waist. Her blonde curls had been pulled into pigtails and her head was adorned with a brown cowboy hat. Her little feet had cowboy boots on them as well. "You always look cute, Monkey."
The little girl grinned and grabbed at Kurt's hand with sticky fingers. He always took her hand, no matter how gross it was. "Come on, help me find another bag to pack."
…
"I can't find the sunscreen."
Carole looked up from her magazine. "Since when do you wear sunscreen?"
"Since Kurt said I had to."
"You know, honey, as much as I enjoy the idea of you not getting skin cancer, you don't have to do exactly what Kurt says all the time."
"Mom, you and I both know that isn't true."
Carole laughed. "I think it's in the First Aid kit."
Finn went to the bathroom to retrieve the kit. He rummaged around in it, briefly wondered why there were condoms in it, decided to forget he ever saw them, and plucked the tube of sunscreen from it. He saw Kurt's white pants hanging on the shower curtain to dry and decided to grab those too. God forbid Kurt go on a trip without his white pants.
"I found the sunscreen!" Finn bellowed down the stairs as he came down. He was met with silence, which was strange, since he knew Ava and Kurt were both down there. He looked around the room. Nobody was there, just stuff strewn all around. Finally, he heard rummaging around in the bathroom.
He opened the bathroom door to see Kurt in a too-small pink pirate hat and Ava clinging to his back like a baby koala.
"FINNY!" She exclaimed, wiggling on Kurt's back. "We're PIRATES! We're finding the secret tether!"
"Treasure." Kurt corrected.
"Why do I have a feeling you came up with this game, Kurt?"
"Oh, please." Kurt said, blushing and putting Ava down. "Like this is any more embarrassing than me catching you playing Pretty Pretty Princess."
Ava grabbed the hands of her two older brothers. "Play with me?"
The two boys made eye contact. Like they could say no.
…
Finn, Kurt, and Carole sat on one side of the plane, and Burt and Ava sat on the other side. Ava sat next to a man with dreadlocks and several tattoos, and she had a lot of questions for him, which made the ride go smoothly.
"Why you have worms on your head?"
"What?"
"Ava, leave the man alone."
"But Daddy, worms on his head!"
"That's his hair, sweetheart."
"Sir! Sir!" Ava tugged on the arm of the man in the seat next to her, although she already had his full attention. "I like your worm-hair!"
"Thank you. You have pretty hair, too." He smiled at her.
"Thank you! Why you have pitturs on your arms?"
"They're tattoos."
"Daddy! I want one!"
Meanwhile, on the other side of the aisle, Finn and Kurt were fighting over what to play on Kurt's iPod.
"Lady GaGa!"
"Queen!"
"Lady GaGa!"
"Journey!"
"Lady GaGa!"
"Foreigner!"
"Lady GaGa!"
"Kurt, you're not even trying to compromise, here!"
"When Lady GaGa is an option, no other option is valid."
Carole looked across at Burt, who was trying to explain to Ava why they couldn't "keep" the man with the dreadlocks. They locked eyes for a brief moment and wondered why they had children.
…
They settled into their hotel rooms. Burt, Carole, and Ava in one room, Finn and Kurt in the other. "I can't believe we have enough money to stay here for two weeks, mom."
"Burt and I, believe it or not, have been individually saving up for you boys to have a big graduation gift since you were little boys."
Kurt and Finn grinned at each other and hugged their parents. "Well, I plan on taking Ava to see Wicked."
"And a Yankees game?"
Kurt narrowed his eyes in Finn's direction. "It's bad enough that she refuses to dress correctly," he gestured to Ava, who was passed out on the bed, asleep, wearing a light pink denim skirt, a Halloween shirt that was black with a glittery orange cat on it, green tights, and mismatched converse. "you have to butch her up, too?"
"Kurt…" Burt snapped with a warning tone in his voice. "don't."
"Besides," Finn grinned at Kurt, who was scowling. "Ava-bug loves baseball."
"Don't rub it in. She likes musicals, too."
"Whatever!"
"Well, boys, you can discuss this in your room. Your mom and I are taking a nap."
Finn went over to Ava and scooped her up into his arms. "You don't have to move her."
"Dad, we're not stupid," Kurt replied, rolling his eyes. "when you and Carole 'take a nap', we know what really happens...we don't want our little sister to wake up and be scarred for life, thank-you-very-much."
Carole blushed and giggled like a teenager. Burt was grinning. "Oh, you know what really happens, do you?"
"Burt. Keep your filthy hands off of my mother." Finn said jokingly. "She might be an old girl, but she's still a lady."
Carole grabbed a pillow off of the bed and threw it at Finn's back. The three passed through the door that joined the two rooms and shut the door behind them. Burt and Carole laughed together for a moment, and then crawled onto their King-sized bed and began to make out. Kurt's head popped through the door for a moment and cleared his throat.
"I would just like to remind you two to use protection. I stocked the first aid kit with condoms. I figure we don't need another Ava right away, am I right?"
"Stop cockblocking me, kid." Burt said, laughing. Kurt pulled a horrified face before closing the door once more.
…
"Okay, so, we need to make a timeline of things to do while we're here." Kurt flopped down on the double bed next to Finn. Ava slept like a rock when she was actually still; a trait she inherited from Finn.
"Whaddaya mean?" Finn laid his head back onto one of the overstuffed pillows. "We just agreed on Broadway and baseball."
"Finn, she's a two year old. We're going to be here for two weeks. We're gonna need something to occupy her every day."
"Oh." Finn turned on his side, facing Kurt. "Well, what did you have in mind?"
Kurt sat up and looked at his little sister, sprawled across the other bed. She liked a lot of different things—going to plays, going to sporting events, playing dress up, and playing in the dirt. He didn't want to make their parents spend more money than they had to, but they had to keep Ava interested or else this trip would be hell.
Kurt lay back on the bed, where he had a few quiet moments to brainstorm. Of course, as is custom in the Hummel/Hudson household, that never lasts long.
"THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" Kurt screeched.
Finn had spooned up behind Kurt, wrapping an arm around his slender frame. "I'm taking a nap! Do you mind?"
"I know that tone in your voice, Finn Hudson!" Kurt exclaimed, trying unsuccessfully to wriggle free from Finn's grasp. "You're up to something, and I don't feel like cuddling...urghhhhh..."
Finn swiftly flipped Kurt onto his back with a chuckle, and the two of them wrestled. Kurt was somewhat used to this by now—Finn loved having a brother to engage in boyish roughhousing, and Kurt was actually strong enough to hold his own (thanks, Coach Sylvester, for the 12 hour weight-lifting marathons, Kurt thought to himself). Finn straddled Kurt's hips and pinned his arms down against the pillows.
"Whatcha gonna do now, little boy?" Finn grinned triumphantly.
Ava yawned and sat up, and Kurt deftly slid out of the hold Finn had him in without any trouble. Finn's eyes widened in surprise and collapsed on the bed. "You're like a ninja!"
"Remember that next time you steal my imported leather messenger bag and use it to put your sweaty gym clothes in." Kurt said smugly before turning to his sister. "What do you want to do, Monkey?"
She stood on the bed and hopped around, her blonde curls bouncing. "I wanna go! Go! Go!"
"Go where?"
"Go! Go! Go!" she jumped into Kurt's arms. "Go!"
Kurt and Ava looked at Finn, who was still out of breath from wrestling. "Well, let's go, then."
...
They walked down the sidewalk, Ava in the middle and a boy on either side. Kurt made Finn and Ava both promise that they would all hold hands the entire time. They finally decided on Central Park, and they wandered around aimlessly.
Kurt fidgeted uneasily as he noticed people walking by, looking at him and Finn. He realized how it looked, and he wasn't afraid—it's New York, for God's sake! But he didn't want Finn to be uncomfortable. He glanced at Finn, who seemed oblivious. Ava spotted a jungle gym several yards away and broke away from them, running at full speed.
"AVA CORVID HUMMEL!" Finn bellowed, chasing her with Kurt right behind him.
By the time they caught up to her, she had reached the jungle gym and was already playing with a curly haired boy and a redheaded girl. Finn plucked her from the top of the play set and crouched down to her level.
"Ava, you promised you would hold our hands."
"Junga Jim!" Ava exclaimed and stomped her foot.
"We'll let you play," Kurt said, lifting her into his arms, "but you have to promise you won't run from us like that again."
She held out a tiny pinky finger and linked it with Kurt's. "Pwomise." she nodded solemnly. Finn kissed her cheek and pulled her out of Kurt's arms and back onto the bars. They spotted a nearby bench and walked over to sit down.
A woman was already there. She eyed Finn and Kurt with interest. "Which one is yours?"
"The blonde one." Finn replied, pointing Ava out proudly.
"Oh, she's a cutie. My little boy is over there." she gestured to the boy Ava was playing with.
"Aw. How old is he?"
"Two."
"So is ours!"
Kurt cleared his throat. He doesn't even realize she thinks we're together.
"I'm Finn. This is Kurt."
"Linda. You two are awfully young to be parents."
Kurt blushed. He couldn't imagine how embarrassed Finn must—
"We get that a lot." He glanced adoringly at Kurt. "But she's all ours."
Kurt's mouth gaped open at this. He looked at Finn questioningly, and Finn winked. Kurt didn't want to know where this was going. "We're not really—"
"She's got your eyes, dear." Finn said fondly, grabbing Kurt's hand. Kurt jerked his hand away almost instantly.
Linda noticed and chuckled, "Don't worry. My brother is gay. I don't have a problem with you two showing affection at all."
Finn smiled at her. "That's so refreshing. Usually we get some strange looks, don't we, baby?"
"What-are-you-doing?" Kurt grunted quietly through gritted teeth. Finn glared at him, and he sighed. He gave up and played along. "We do. It's really nice to meet someone so open-minded."
Kurt could feel the heat in his cheeks as he held Finn's hand. He couldn't fathom why Finn was doing this. Kurt's sexuality had been somewhat of a taboo subject since that episode they had...it seemed like it was forever ago, but in reality, it was only almost 3 years ago. It wasn't that they didn't bring it up, but in general, they kept it to a minimum. They had done away with talking about dates, for instance. At first, Finn would ask Kurt how his date with whomever went, and then he would listen politely and nod. But the more Kurt talked, the more Finn would look uncomfortable. Finally, they agreed that a brief, "It went well," or "It was rough," was enough for both of them.
"I gotta say, you two are just adorable together." Linda said, looking as though she were about to explode until she said it. "How long have you guys been together?"
"We've been living together a little over three years." Finn replied, not missing a beat. "We went to high school together, so we've known each other a bit longer. I don't know..." Finn wrapped his arm around Kurt and looked at him sweetly before turning back to Linda. "We were good friends, and then one day I woke up and realized we were more than that. It was never really discussed. We were just...us."
Kurt was rendered speechless. Linda sighed and put a hand to her heart. "That is so sweet!"
Ava ran over to them, covered in mud. "I'm hungry!" She climbed into Finn's lap, leaving gooey brown splotches all over his jeans. She kissed Finn's cheek, and then leaned over and grabbed Kurt's face and smooched him too, smearing mud on his hot face.
Linda giggled. "Look like you two have your hands full! It was wonderful meeting you two."
Finn stood, holding Ava on his hip and holding Kurt's hand with his free hand. "Nice meeting you too! Ava, say goodbye to Miss Linda."
"Bye-bye!" she waved, flinging mud in every direction.
They walked away, looking like a perfect little family.
...
They stopped by a McDonald's, washed Ava's hands in the bathroom, and got her some food. Finn insisted on holding Kurt's hand all the way back to the hotel.
"Where have you three been?"
"MOMMY!" Finn set Ava down on the ground and she scurried into Carole's arms and hugged her tightly. "PARK! MUD! HAPPY MEAL! YAY!"
Carole laughed at her daughter, who had streaks of mud all over her, except for her face and hands. "Baby, go in there and get Daddy to give you a bath."
She grinned and ran into the room. Carole turned to Finn and Kurt. "You didn't leave a note or anything?"
"Mom, we're both 19. We're adults." Finn whined. Kurt rolled his eyes.
"Yes, and my daughter is a two year old in New York City! I need to know where she is at all times!"
"We're sorry, Carole." Kurt grabbed his stepmother's hand and squeezed it. "We just wanted a fun day with Ava. Next time, we'll leave a note."
Carole smiled begrudgingly, "And text me your coordinates every half hour."
"Sure thing."
...
After Ava's bath and a family dinner, Finn and Kurt laid in their respective beds, staring at the ceiling. It was a very comfortable situation, since they'd been used to sharing a room, but Kurt was feeling uneasy.
"Finn? Are you awake?"
"Yep."
Kurt rolled onto his side to face Finn. "What was up with you today?"
Finn followed suit and faced Kurt. "What do you mean?"
"You know...the stuff with Linda...and holding my hand even after we left..."
Finn smirked. "I knew that bugged you."
"It didn't bug me..." Kurt worded it as carefully as he could. "I just was wondering why you did it."
"Don't worry about it."
"But—"
"Finny?" A little voice came from the bathroom. Finn jumped up and opened the door. Ava stood there, covered in vomit and crying.
"Oh, sweetie." Kurt jumped up too.
Together, they peeled her soiled clothes off of her and bathed her. Kurt heard his father's loud snores and hoped he appreciated them not waking him. For some reason, Ava always came to them when she was sick, and they usually woke their parents and had them take care of it. But it was a vacation, and Ava wanted her two big brothers.
Finn put one of his big t-shirts on Ava. It dragged the floor when she walked, so he carried her to his bed while Kurt fished a trash bag out of his suitcase.
"Alright, Monkey. If you think you're gonna be sick again, do it in this bag, alright?" Kurt swept a lock of blonde hair out of her face and pinned it back. He kissed her on the cheek. She looked pitiful and pale.
"Okay." Finn kissed her as well, and they tucked her in and turned out the light.
Kurt got back into his bed and snuggled down into the covers.
"Kurt, I'm not that small. You're gonna have to make room for me...and you have no idea how hard it is for me not to make a 'that's what she said' joke after that."
Kurt sat up in his bed. "What?"
"Kurt. Ava is in my bed, where do you think I'm going to sleep?"
Kurt's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "Um. Okay." He scooted over and allowed Finn to get in bed. He felt Finn's bare chest against his back, spooning him. "I am not wrestling with you, Finn. I'm tired."
"So am I. Goodnight, Kurt." Finn didn't move, except to wrap an arm around Kurt's waist. Kurt could feel his hot breathe in his ear and didn't know what to think.
"Finn...what are you doing to me?"
Finn nuzzled his head up against the back of Kurt's neck. "Trying to sleep, if you would shut your mouth."
Kurt sighed and finally fell asleep, cuddled in Finn's arms.
...
Kurt woke up to Finn thrashing in the bed, whimpering in fear. He glanced at the clock. 4:00 am.
"Finn! Finn! Wake up!" he whispered, shaking Finn out of his nightmare. Finn's eyes popped open, wide and terrified. "You were just having a nightmare."
Finn buried his face in Kurt's neck and began to cry. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." he whispered over and over again.
This wasn't the first time that Kurt had to calm Finn down from a nightmare, but it had never been like this before. "Shhh, it's okay." Kurt stroked Finn's hair gently. "I don't mind you waking me, you don't have to apologize."
"No..." Finn sniffled and pushed Kurt away, only to look him in the face. "I'm so sorry I ever hurt you. I'm so sorry."
"Um..." This was so perplexing to Kurt. "...what do you mean?"
"I shouldn't have ever called you that word. I shouldn't have ever let those guys slushie you. I shouldn't have ever let guys make fun of you and push you in the hallways. I shouldn't have...I..."
"Calm down." Kurt wiped a tear off of Finn's face and sighed. "It was a while ago, Finn. It's okay. I forgive you. I've forgiven you for a long time."
Finn's eyes were red from a lack of sleep and crying. He slowly brought his hand up to Kurt's face and caressed his smooth skin. "What are you—"
Finn pressed a kiss to Kurt's lips. Kurt was stunned, but responded enthusiastically. Kurt finally realized what they were doing and pulled back. "What is going on, Finn?" he asked, breathlessly.
Finn was breathing heavily and still had his arms wrapped around Kurt's thin frame. "I don't know...I've been having dreams about you a lot lately. And when I saw the way people looked at us with Ava today, I knew people thought we were together...so I thought I would see how it felt..."
"And?" Kurt asked, hoping he didn't sound desperate.
"And it feels good. Being with you, it makes me happy. I'm happy hanging out with you and Ava and nobody else." Finn kissed Kurt again. "I don't know. I don't know what to do."
"Go to sleep. I love you." Kurt's mind was reeling. This was the very last thing he expected from Finn. Finn held Kurt tightly against him and they fell asleep again.
...
The rest of the trip went smoothly. Kurt and Finn continued to hold hands and act like they were a couple—away from their parents, of course—just to see how it worked out in a safe environment where nobody they knew could judge them. In the end, they knew it was right. Finn worried about telling their parents about it, but Kurt didn't even think they had to.
Ava's daily drawings that wallpapered their fridge at home always had a few common elements: Mommy and Daddy smiling and holding hands, Ava standing in the middle, and Kurt and Finn on the other side, kissing.