A/N This is what happens when you have too much time and a phone. I got the idea to start this with my friend when I read Boredom: It's Super Effective by Peaches Naughty Cream on fictionpress. My texts are italicized, my friend's (Harriet-Potter3399) are normal. Enjoy.
Disclaimer-Do I look Japanese? No, I do not own Pokemon.
Simona uses chloroform bandana
Sapanda is now paralyzed
Sapanda uses mental abilities to come out of paralyzation and uses bubble butt to make Simona all fatty and lethargic
Simona uses fast metabolism
her fattiness is gone and speed is raised
Simona throws the awesome Oreo pie she made in Sapanda's face
the attack is not effective
Apparently because sapanda uses paper towels to clean her face and shoves them down Simona's throat
Simona uses regurgitate and spits the soggy paper towels in Sapanda's face
Sapanda can no longer see
accuracy is lowered
Sapanda shouts "Enough" and blasts both Simona and the towels into dust by revealing her true godly form
Simona laughs because Sapanda forgot that she is also a goddess
Simona uses a small amount of superglue to repair herself
Sapanda is angered by her forgetfulness and makes a mental note to destroy all superglue manufacturers
(Pokemon Text Battle is adjourned for dinner)
Simona blasts awesome music from the 50's (Rosemary Clooney)
Sapanda is distracted by the music's awesomeness and goes into a trancelike state
Sapanda is hypnotized
Sapanda loses a turn
Sapanda just finished some horrible chicken and regurgitates out of her hypnotizement and all over Simona
Simona uses her awesome ninja skills from karate and dodges the vomit
Simona reminds Sapanda that she was supposed to be missing a turn so she takes two turns now
Simona uses her epic dishwashing skills
The battleground is cloaked in bubbles and steam
Sapanda forces Simona to look at pictures of Justin Bieber 'cough' beaver naked
Simona can not see the pictures because the battleground is cloaked in bubbles and steam
Sapanda turns the steam around simona into pure gold
Simona laughs agin because sapanda forgot that gold was pliable so simona uses a fire spell (incendio) to free her feet and get to the nearest stream because everyone know from the incident with King Midas that running water reverses the curse.
The gold turns back into bubbles.
(Pokemon Text Battle is adjourned for showers)
Whats this...Simona is evolving
Simona was training and waiting patiently until Sapanda finished her shower gaining a ton of xp
(evolving music) Simona evolved into Singuin!
Singuin learned a new move! the move is illusion!
While Singuin evolved sapanda watched the fifty best Harry Potter moments and learned a few new tricks. she clears the field of all steam and bubbles and blasts Singuin with insomnia.
Singuin is now asleep
Sapanda is feeling strange...what is this feeling? Oh, my! she has progressed from god power to titan power by eating multiple golden apples of Hesperides. Now she's Sapotter, titan of successful magical movie franchises.
Sapotter is waiting not so patiently. Has her opponent forfeited? fallen asleep eternally? or perhaps died of embarrassment?
sapotter is extremely disappointed her opponent fainted before they could read pure terror that her power could only minimally portray through measly texting.
Sapotter regrets putting singuin to sleep and wakes her up
(Note: While Sapanda/Sapotter texted me this I was asleep like most normal people. I actually go to sleep at a normal time unlike Sapotter)
Singuin is mad at Sapotter for interrupting her beauty sleep
Singuin uses illusion
An image of Nate Claro appears next to Sapotter
Sapotter is distracted
Ooh critical hit
Does Sapotter give up yet?
(I didn't receive a text message back within the hour so i thought she was mad at me for bringing the hypocritical stubborn dragon [Nate Claro] into the Pokemon Text Battle)
Singuin uses heres a brownie please don't kill meh!
(It turned out Sapotter was at band practice(but im in band too and there wasn't practice scheduled...Hmmm. I shall further investigate this strange occurrence)
Sapotter uses sonic wave to blast singuin's eardrums out
Singuin was already deaf from her own singing so the attack is not effective
Singuin is eating a strawberry mentos
singuin's HP is restored
The attack vibrates Singuin's brains out
Singuin uses super glue to glue her brains back in
Sapotter eats singuin's brains so she can't do that
Singuin uses angry mob
An angry mob chases after Sapotter because she is a cannibal for eating Singuin's brains
Sapotter now shows singuin a boggart which turns into a dead Jake. The boggart is immune to riddikulus
The attack is ineffective
Sure So what does the boggart turn into then?
I don't know...demons?
Singuin uses talk their ears off
Demons are so not scary
Sapotter dismisses her ineffective attack and conjures up a horrible hairstyle on Singuin's once luscious mane
Singuin uses her herbal essences shampoo and her is once more luxurious
Singuin uses fruit dancer
Three very pointy pineapples hurl themselves at Sapotter's head
Sapotter makes a mental note to destroy herbal essence and all shampoo but her own
Singuin uses sticky pad shortage
Sapotter's mental notes have all been destroyed
Sapotter laughs and reminds Singuin she had made a mental note and then eats the pineapples
Sapotter uses occlumency against Singuin's attempt to destroy my mental sticky notes
Singuin reminds Sapotter she can't because she destroyed the app that allowed her to make mental notes
Singuin says,"Ha" because she already destroyed them
What is Singuin talking about?
Sapotter hurls flaming fiendfyre at Singuin
Hem hem Sapotter puts Umbridge under the imperious curse
Umbridge thinks that Singuin is Harry Potter and uses the cruciatos curse on her
Singuin calls her a toad and kicks her in the shin
Being called a toad broke Umbridge of the imperious curse
Sapotter kills Umbridge lazily and reminds Singuin that fiendfyre is still chasing her
Singuin decides to fight fire with fire
Singuin sends out a dragon shaped ball of Greek fire
They destroy each other with a blast of heat that singes off Singuin's eyebrow that Sapotter made her grow moments before
Singuin grows a pair of delicate eyebrows because she can
Hmmm
Sapotter disapparates and appears behind Singuin and stuns her
Singuin was quicker than Sapotter and tazed the hand that was ABOUT to stun Singuin
Singuin is impatiently waiting for Sapotter to do SOMETHING
Sorry
Sapotter cuts off her tazed hand before it can cause her pain
Sapotter regenerates a new silver hand
Sapotter attempts to strangle Sapotter
Singuin yells, "Wormtail" and Sapotter faints from shame...that dirty traitor
I was the victor of this Pokemon Text Battle. Until next time this is...
Fini