"Well, that's that then."
"That's that."
.
Hermione couldn't tell who spoke, she was so focused on watching the trail as it began down the tracks, tracking every turn until it disappeared from view. She didn't even realize she'd made her way down the platform, following along until she'd reached the edge. "Mione?" Harry asked, snapping her out of her thoughts, slinging an arm around her shoulder "You alright?"
"I suppose." She sighed.
.
She loved this boy, he'd always be a boy to her, always thinking of others, even now, even as he adopted the casual attitude of two friends, it provided her, both of them a quiet moment, a shelter away from the prying eyes of others as they both looked down the tracks that took their children away on the same journey that they took so many years ago. Well... Hopefully not the same journey - theirs had been riddled with death and adventure and war and heartache, but also with love a friendship and so much more.
.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing really - Cissa warned me about this feeling. You know, I hate it when she's right." Hermione laughs.
"Sounds like someone else I know."
"I can't imagine who you're talking about Harry!" She teases, trying not to cry.
"I've missed you. I've missed you both. You all."
"We miss you too."
"Is this how it's always going to be?" She asks him softly, trying not to be defeated"Am I always going to have to choose?"
"No, not always. It's not -"
"I know." She sighs, knowing the next words from his mouth.
"Why didn't she come?"
"She said goodbye to them at home. She didn't want...to make things harder for me and Ron. She... Thinks about these things Harry, about how to make things easier, how to get along, how to make me smile... I wish, I wish you all could see that about her."
"Oi!" Ron shouts, causing them to turn around, "We were talking of going down to a muggle pub nearby." He indicated to the small gathering of parents, their former classmates, those who survived the war and those who didn't leave when it was over. "Just a quick drink and a bite - old times and everything. Are you two coming?"
"Yeah," Harry calls back, "We'll follow along."
"Hold your father's hand Hugo!" Hermione calls, always worried. They watch as the group begins to make their noisy way out and off of Platform 9 ¾. "Listen, Mione, you know how you suggested dinner last month? Let's do it. I... I don't know if Gin'll come round but…" he shrugs before he can finish. "Let's catch up to them before they set something on fire."
.
They walk towards the pub, bringing up the rear with Draco and together talk about such mundane things like work and ministry gossip and Quidditch scores but stop short before entering. "Well boys, I think this is my stop." She sees Ron in the window with Ginny at his side. "I don't think I was invited…" She knocks on the window to catch her son's attention and waves bye. He'll be home tomorrow, she tells herself, he's just so excited to stay with Molly and Arthur for the night. She catches Ron's eye and returns his small smile. Maybe they will get past all this? "Don't be silly." Draco argued, rather unconvincingly.
"It's a little easier this way, besides, Cissa'll be wondering where I am soon enough." She smiles.
"Gin's the same way. Dinner next week, yeah?" Harry asks, giving her a long hug, honest in his affection.
"Yes, I'll owl you a few days that'll work? Draco, you and Astoria should come too! I know Cissa'll love to see you. She sends her love." She hugs the blonde man goodbye as well.
"It's weird to hear her called 'Cissa" He teases.
"Yeah, well it's more weird to call her your mum, isn't it?"
"Things I don't want to think about." He only half-pretends to shudder. "Send an owl and we'll be there! Can't let Potter have all the attention."
.
Hermione smiles as she walks away, hearing them argue as they make their way into the pub. She walks home, it's a perfectly grey and dreary London day and she wouldn't have it any other way and by the time she gets to her building, the streetlights are on but their flat is dark. Perhaps Cissa is out? She makes her way up the stairs and lets herself in. She places her keys on the table by the door and hangs up her mac. "Cis?" She calls out, "Cissa?" There's no response. She goes through the house, picking up this and that left over from their flurry to get to the train in time. Rose and Hugo certainly inherited that from the Weasley side, she smiles, dumping them on a side table. A slight sound from the living room catches her attention and she makes her way through the near dark of room where she finds Narcissa asleep on the couch. She can't help it, in that moment, her heart swells until it hurts. Any lingering sadness from earlier is replaced by…contentment. "Cissa?" She seats herself on the edge of the couch, brushing some of the other woman's dark hair out of her face - funny how it hasn't aged since she first saw it all those years ago. "Cissa love, wake up?" She places a chaste kiss on the other woman's lips to be rewarded by the fluttering of eyelashes a kiss that deepens and all but takes her breath away. "I was having such a nice dream." The older woman speaks when their kiss ends. "How was it?"
"I am not going to say you were right."
"But I was, wasn't I Dear?" She smirks as she sits up and motions for the other woman to settle beside her. They're curled up on the couch now, watching the lights of London spread out below them through the windows. "How are you?"
"I saw Draco - I invited Harry and him for dinner next week. They both said they'd come."
"That's lovely. If I say I remember Draco's first day, will you tease me for being old?" She laughs.
"I mean, not to your face..." Hermione laughs. "I...wish you had come Cissa. I wanted you there."
"You understand why though, don't you?" Narcissa asks, placing a quick peck on the other woman's hair. "It's something for families to share."
"Are...are we not family to you?" Hermione asks, pulling herself out of her lover's embrace and rising from the couch.
.
There's no response. What response could there be, really?
.
She heads towards their private bathroom and closes the door. They were here again, this impasse that they found themselves in more and more frequently. What was all of this for? All the looks and gossip and not-so-subtle exclusion from Wizarding society if they weren't in this together, if they weren't on the same page, if they weren't a family? She can hear the front door click and it's all it takes for her to lose what little control she's managed to hold over her emotions today. Her children have left her, her babies, her darling children that she has vowed to protect and love and adore for all of their lives and all of hers. They aren't children anymore. Sometimes it feels like they aren't hers anymore either. They're now out in the world and she can't guard over them and protect and defend them. And her life? Where was that happy ever after? That ending promised to them for vanquishing Voldemort and saving Wizard-kind? Is this what being a grown up is? Looking around at your friends and your life, all unrecognizable now?
.
She turns on the shower, one of her favorite muggle amenities and sheds her clothes before stepping beneath the hot water. She presses her forehead against the cool tile and begins to cry. She can't tell how much time has passed but the water has cooled until she hears Narcissa's soft voice murmur and it warms back up. She wipes the steamed glass to reveal her lover sitting on the edge of the sink, a glass of wine in her hand. "I thought you'd left."
"Do you want me to go?" She asks, her decades of practiced detachment taking over.
"No."
"Good, because I'm staying so long as you'll have me." She takes a sip from the wine glass and rises from the counter. "I think you're clean enough now Mione." A fluffy white bathrobe appears in her hands and she holds it open as an invitation. "If you stay in, you'll wrinkle like a Goblin."
"I don't care." She pouts.
"You are starting to sound like the children, please come out." No response. "Hermione, please come out otherwise I'm coming in."
"You wouldn't dare!"
"One... Two..." Narcissa removes her blouse and drops it with Hermione's clothes in preparation to enter the shower.
"I'm coming out! I'm coming out!"
"Pity." Narcissa sighs, fighting the smirk that found itself across her face often with this wonderful woman. Hermione steps out and is instantly surrounded by the bathrobe and Narcissa and she can't help but hum in appreciation. They stand there with Hermione's hair dripping on Narcissa's nude shoulders for a minute, her hand rubbing soothing circles on Hermione's back. "Are you feeling better now?"
"I... Yes. I don't know why -"
"It's a hard day for parents... Every time I put Draco on that train, I would be inconsolable for hours. It would drive Lucius mad."
"It wasn't just that - it's a large part but - us, I mean -"
"I don't want to have this conversation just yet...after dinner."
"Dinner! I forgot all about it!"
"Luckily I did not." She lets go of the younger woman and reaches for her glass of wine and takes a sip before offering the rest to Hermione and turning to leave the bathroom, "No need to dress, it'll save me from having to undress you later." She calls out playfully before disappearing into the darkness.
.
Hermione quickly braids her hair out of the way. She still has an affinity for the ways of her youth. She takes a look at herself in the mirror before she takes a sip of the wine. What she wouldn't give to look like a woman and not an overgrown 16 year old. Cissa had an elegance about her that sh's envied from the start, and she looked closer to Hermione's age than Hermione herself did. "Mione love?"
"Coming!" She sighs.
.
She finds the kitchen empty and spotless, a sure sign Cissa didn't cook. "In here!" Cissa directs, leading Hermione to the living room, awash with the soft glow of candles. There are takeaway containers on the table and a nervous Cissa off to the side. "I thought..." She doesn't finish the sentence, gesturing down at the coffee table instead.
"You hate when we eat in here."
"It makes you happy... I hope I ordered the right thing. I got there and realized you usually ordered for us."
"I'm sure it's perfect." The smell of takeaway makes her realize just how hungry she is. "Thank you." She moves to the other woman and holds her by the waist and kisses her softly. "And thank you for not putting your shirt back on."
"If it makes you happy." Cissa murmurs against Hermione's lips. "Who am I to argue?"
.
They settle down to eat, Hermione curled up in Cissa's side once more, keeping the conversation light until all the tension had been removed from the room. "Mione, I have to ask you..."
"Why don't you - why don't you think of me as family?" Hermione begins, "Why don't you think of Hugo and Rose and I as your family? And I know I interrupted but I just...I want to know."
"I…"
"I think of you as my family now. I invite you to live with us, over and over, in hopes that one day you'll say yes. I hope that one day I'll come home and not have to wait for your owl to let me know if you're coming over, because you'll be here, this will be your home."
"Mione-" Narcissa eases out from the other woman's side and rises, pacing against the window. "Mione, I…can't do this like this." A quick flick of her wand and she's back in her shirt. "There, that's much better. Hermione - you are… incredibly exceptional but…as a muggle you-"
"As a muggle, what?" Her voice drops dangerously low. This is the first time Narcissa has dared bring this up.
"Family is a difficult word, for Purebloods I mean. Family is everything to a Pureblood, especially from my generation. We were taught - well, you know what we were taught." A droll chuckle escapes her lips, trying not to think of the faint scar across the other woman's arm. "So much evil has happened in the name of Family. I have been complacent in so many…" She takes a pause and looks out the window to the city lights. "You, for as long as I care to remember, you are the good in my world. You, and Draco, and now your children. You have given me - Mione, you and Hugo and Rose have shown me things I never had with Draco, and now I can share with him and Scorpius." The words are hard for her to get out, because despite how much she and Hermione talk about anything and everything, there are some things that have always been removed, distant from their relationship. "Family is a painful word, it's dirty and cruel and you are…something so completely different from it for me. You are, Merlin help me, you are…a harbor. You and your children, and this flat that I somehow never want to leave, are my harbor and that to me means so much more. Do you understand what I'm doing a poor job of conveying Mione?" She asks as she turns around, only to find her lover crying. "Mione?" She's uncertain if she should approach her. She still doesn't know how to deal with this woman's emotions yet, she always seem to have so many bubbling just below the surface. Or perhaps, it's just with her, maybe she brings them out in the younger woman.
"Oh Cissa." Hermione sighs as she rises. She makes her way slowly to the older woman and cups her face in her hands and places a tender kiss on her lips before she holds her tight.
.
They stay in their embrace for a few minutes, before Narcissa murmurs in her ear: "I did have another word for you though, Mione, if you'd consent?"
"And what word's that Cissa?" She asks, pulling back to look the other woman in her eyes. "I always forget how blue they are." She smiles, "Sorry, you were saying something before I got distracted. What was it?"
"Wife." Narcissa states in her direct manner.
"Wife?" Hermione squeaks, certain she's hearing things.
"As in, would you…be my wife?"
"Cissa, are you - serious? Are you aware of what you're asking?" Hermione steps back, peering at the other woman, trying to see the trick, the set up.
"I am asking you to be my wife. I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. I was allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. I might still have been if not for you, dearest, loveliest Mione! What do I not owe you? You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased."
"You were reading Pride and Prejudice again, weren't you?" That's all that she can focus on, that this woman is now quoting her favorite book, feeding her her favorite meal.
"I was afraid I would be unable to best those words, to better them."
"I... Want to say yes but -"
"But you need to think it over." Narcissa steps back, not angry, but aware of the other woman's need for space.
"I'm sorry." Her heart breaks as she can see the wall of ice fly back up around Cissa.
"Don't be. I am asking you to alter your whole life to meet with mine, to join not only yourself, but your children, to me and mine. I would worry if you didn't think it through." She picks up the discarded containers and begins to clean up, leaving the younger woman in the living room. "Would I have to take your name?" Hermione calls out, not moving. "Would I have to be Hermione Black?"
"You can if you'd like. Or you can keep your own."
"You can take mine, couldn't you?"
"I suppose." She answers cautiously, "Although I can't quite see myself as a Narcissa Grainger, can you?" She raises an eyebrow in deliberate haughty fashion towards Mione who smiles softly. "Actually yes, I can. 'This is my wife, Cissa Grainger.'"
"Your wife?"
"I told you I want to say yes, I just..." She moves towards the other woman and wraps her arms around her waist. "Oooh! Perhaps we can hyphenate? The Grainger-Blacks. Can we do that? Do they allow for that? Wait! Can two witches even marry?"
"While uncommon, there is no law or rule prohibiting it. Come, let's put you to bed." She steps back and leads the other woman to the bedroom. "Just me? Where are you off to?"
"You said you wanted to think."
"I can think with you. I can think better with you. I can, in fact, think better with you undressed." She kissed the other woman, a quick peck on the lips which grew deeper, more passionate, as if each were trying to show the other, wordlessly, how much they meant to one another. Hermione moved the kisses lower, to the other woman's jaw, down her neck, along her collarbone and back again. "Mione, you're making it very hard to leave you."
"Good," She murmurs between nips and pecks and licks and sucks, "because I don't want you to leave." She unbuttons her lover's blouse to allow her more access. She can't get enough of this moment - this moment where she has the whole terrain of Narcissa's body to explore. It's like a new world, no matter how often she's experienced it, where she has an infinite number of choices. She gently pushes the other woman down onto the bed before slipping out of her robe and joining her. When skin meets skin a slight gasp escapes from one of their mouths - the spark between them palpable. It had always existed, in some way, shape, or form, between them.