If you think that the contents of this story is blown out of proportion then it is more then obvious that you haven't had a good peaceful bike ride around a lake and back in a great decent while. If you think that I own KH2 then it is more then obvious that you have no sense.
A Ride Around The Lake Part One: Bikes"Demyx go wash the dishes, Marluxia go do the laundry, Lexaeus go buy groceries, Xigbar go shoot Zexion in the ass if he isn't done with buying stuff from the dollar store, Vexen go make sure he's not shooting innocents. Luxord take some tea up to the Superior, Axel and Xaldin go see if the pizza people are ready with our three extra large jumbo twenty topping pizzas yet- if not cremate them or chop them up into itty bitty pieces so we can have twenty-one toppings instead." Larxene rattled off the following to the rest of the Organization members.
Yes it was the dreaded Sunday of the month.
Yes it just so happened that it was the day that Xemnas fell sick.
Yes it was that Larxene was to be in charge.
And yes today happens to be the day for spring-cleaning.
Today is the day that karma shows the Organization that it is more powerful then they.
XxXxX
"What does Saix do?" Demyx ran around with a greasy frying pan he had found somewhere in the middle of the kitchen fridge attempting to whack random people on the head.
Saix had been sitting there quite peacefully watching the rest of the Organization scurry around like puny ants, groveling beneath the iron fist of the lone woman.
"Saix can go ride a bike around the lake."
"HA! YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING!!!" Demyx smacked Saix on the head, earning himself a few bruises on the face.
"It's a metaphor you fool, it means to do nothing." Saix waved it off like the pest it was.
Larxene stood up cracking her knuckles. "Oh no Saix you must've been mistaken. When I say you go ride a bike, you go ride a bike…"
A shiver went through the room.
"If you think I'm going to ride a road vehicle with two wheels around a mass body of water then you are sadly mistaken."
A shiver ran through the castle.
"GO. RIDE. A. BIKE. NOW." Larxene gritted her teeth as she stood and held up a bag of Doritos.
And we all know that Saix is horribly allergic to Doritos.
So now he too, must grovel beneath the iron fist of the determined woman of the Organization.
XxXxX
Saix was in the Organization's garage looking for a bike.
Unfortunately the only bikes he saw were:
Axel's motorcycle, which was a flashy red and wouldn't go below the speed of three hundred miles per hour. Damnable thing. No one in the right of his or her mind would ride that.
Demyx's light blue kiddy bike with training wheels. Hell was he going to fit on that abomination nevertheless ride it. Try to imagine it… him, Saix, on a kiddy bike? The thought's hysterical.
Marluxia's hot pink bicycle that Saix wasn't going to touch. It was too pink and too… shiny.
And then there was Luxord's… unicycle.
Saix blinked.
He shook his head. No way in hell was he going to ride that.
No matter how tempting it was to try.
…
…
…It was laughing at him, taunting him…
…
…
…To hell with it, no one was watching.
XxXxX
A few minutes later a bruised Saix came upstairs muttering profound curses about unicycles disliking him or something like that.
"Back from you're bike trip already?" Larxene raised a slender eyebrow in amusement.
Mumble.
"Hmm? What was that?" She smiled toothily.
Mumble mumble. Saix waved his hands dismissively.
"Speak louder I can't hear you." Damn, She really was enjoying this wasn't she?
"THERE ARE NO BIKES DOWN THERE!"
"What are you talking about? There's Marluxia's bike."
"AND MY UNICYCLE!" Luxord called down from upstairs while in the background you could hear a honking snort that was most likely the Superior.
"… He has a unicycle?" Larxene twisted her face in curiosity as she turned to the eighth member.
"Not anymore he doesn't…" Saix smiled sinisterly as he stared vaguely into the distance.
Marluxia stopped in his tracks when he heard that, dropping the bushel of clothing he was carrying. "You did not…"
"Oh yes I did." Saix' smile grew even wider as he said the last bit with much relish.
With those very words Marluxia flew at Saix with extreme rage, trampling the clothing beneath him. "YOU FOOL! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT BIKE COST ME?"
"Nope. How much?"
"…" Marluxia paused for a minute.
"How much was it Marly?" Larxene prodded further, nosily.
"… Two dollars." Marluxia answered sullenly after he thought about it.
And with that Larxene was left in a fit of hysterics and Saix a smug grin.
XxXxX
Twenty-five long minutes later Saix had himself a bike which Larxene had easily found in a nearby dumpster, ahem, I mean the nearby WalMart.
When Demyx had insisted that Saix wear a helmet and shin pads he earned himself a death glare from Saix. Needless to say he was instantly cowed.
As he left for the lake, rather crabbily at that, Larxene ran out with a list in her hand. "OY! WHEN YOU PASS THE CORNER STORE OVER THERE GO BUY SOME BUBBLES FOR DEMYX, A COUPLE BEERS, A BAG OF FERTILIZER, AND A LOT OF TISSUES FOR XEMNAS!"
"Damn woman… make my life hard will you?" Saix grumbled under his breath has he pedaled off into the distance.
Little did he know it but his adventure had begun.
XXxxXXxxXX
… You should know that some of the events in this story actually happened in real life. IT HAPPENS PEOPLE! And the unicycle? NEVER UNDERESTIMATE IT! Believe me those things are hard to ride and the bruises on you're butt are countless after you crash and land on it three hundred and eighty times. -Shadoom
