"I don't like him, Sir," was the captain always remembered about Zoe and Wash. Wash had just become their pilot and Zoe had immediately disliked the guy. Mal was never really sure why, but he'd made a mental note of it and he hadn't forgotten it. It had stuck with him for….well, until a year later. After that, well, nothing made sense after that.
It wasn't long after that, that Mal was able to fire that idiot of an engineer and hire this girl, Kaylee. She seemed pretty competent and she seemed to know a lot about her job, but Mal had still underestimated her abilities. Either way, she was better than the old engineer and that was really the only thing that Mal was concerned about at the time when he hired her and fired her boyfriend. Better yet, not long after that, Mal was able to hire someone else that could help him and Zoe on their jobs. Though his name might make one think that he wasn't much of a threat, but he defiantly was if you made a comment about it.
They'd gotten caught during one of their jobs and Jayne was one of the idiots who'd caught him. Mal and Zoe were outnumbered two to seven. You know the old saying: If you can't beat them, join them, or better yet, trick them into joining you. This is exactly what Mal did. It worked out much better in the end.
"Aaah! Nooo!" Wash shouted in a strange voice as one of his toy dinosaurs devowered the other. Zoe stared at him speechless. "He was supposed to be flying the ship and he was playing with plastic dinosaurs," she thought bewildered. Zoe blinked a couple of times and turned to leave. "Yes, I was completely right. There was something about him that I didn't like."
XXX
Kaylee looked like she was about to pass out she was laughing so hard. Mal and Jayne were laughing too, though not quite as hard as Kaylee. Even Zoe had smiled a little. Yes, Zoe was smiling. Wash had just told them a story about flight school. Zoe was pretty sure that Wash was smiling, but it was hard to tell with that horrible caterpillar on his face.
XXX
"Hey, Wash! Have you seen the captain?...Wash?" Zoe stared at him like she didn't recognize him.
"What's wrong?" he asked her.
She blinked. "You shaved your mustache."
"Oh, yeah," he shrugged.
"Um, have you seen Mal?"
"He went that way."
"Thanks," Zoe hurried off. "That was a really awkward conversation," she thought and then she smiled. "Wash looked pretty good without the mustache."
XXX
This is when the world stopped making sense. Wash had been their pilot for a year and Mal was pretty sure that Zoe had gotten over her dislike for him, but Mal didn't really need to be worrying about stupid things like that.
"And…..that should do it, captain!" Kaylee said brightly as she stood up. "Serenity should be flying smoothly as soon as Wash tries to start her up."
"Thank you, Kaylee," Mal left the engine room and that's when the world stopped making sense. Wash and Zoe were kissing just down the hall. Wash and Zoe were kissing just down the hall. Wash and Zoe were kissing just down the hall. Wash and Zoe were kissing just down the hall. Wash and Zoe were kissing just down the hall. Mal repeated this confused thought in his head over a few times, but it simply didn't make any sense. Zoe didn't like him. Zoe wasn't supposed to like him. Zoe was supposed to say that she didn't like him and that there was something that she didn't like about him and Mal was supposed to tell her that he was a good pilot. The world was supposed to make sense. "What's going on in here?" Mal asked weakly.
Zoe jumped away from Wash looking horrified. "Sir, I…."
"What's it look like?" Wash asked with a slightly dazed expression on his face.
"Um, right, well, Kaylee says that Serenity should be flying smoothly now," Mal said awkwardly as he left the room abruptly.
Mal may have thought that the world couldn't have made less sense at that moment. Then he realized that he was wrong. The world hit the limit of not-sense-making when Wash and Zoe got married. After that, nothing surprised him. Even Kaylee dating Simon.
