"Cost of Redemption"
By: Shadowkat678
Disclaimer: I don't own this franchise. Rated M for violence, trigger warning for said violence. It is war, and war is bloody. Sorta expected.
Multicolored beams twisted and twirled in the darkness as shadowy figures clashed throughout the cobbled streets, a mix of screams and laughter echoing through the night as bodies crumpled into unmoving heaps on the ground.
Regulus Black rolled hastily out of the way as a bone breaker curse passed just inches short of crushing his skull to splinters, coming quickly back up in a dueling crouch. He twisted his neck sharply around to look over his shoulder, trying to pinpoint exactly where the spell was fired from, but whoever had cast it was already lost among the many fighters in the chaos of battle.
All around buildings burned as red and orange flames licked at the sky, smoke swirling out of the fires and leaving the scent of burnt flesh hanging thickly in the air. It seared his throat as he breathed in the fumes, looking out from from behind his mask with grey eyes wide in horror at the destruction surrounding him. Bodies littered the ground, more falling as he watched, and his ears rang with the sounds of a mother's screams as her children were struck down in front of her eyes. It was like a scene from a nightmare, and he'd helped make it happen. He'd played his role, and there was no excuse for what he now was a part of. It wasn't just solely muggles and mudbloods they were going after anymore, they were killing witches and wizards, going after their own. Regulus wanted to scream, to claw his newly given mark off his skin, to run away from what was his own choice. This wasn't what he signed up for! This wasn't how it was supposed to be! This isn't what he wanted!
The young Black was pulled out of his thoughts as a choking curse was suddenly shot his way. Regulus lunged out of its range only to be grazed seconds later by an unseen stunner to the side.
Wincing, Regulus spun to face his new attacker, a young wizard no older than himself. His expression was twisted in hate as tears rolled down his battered face, his sandy blond hair sticking fast to his sweaty skin. The hate was directed at him, he knew. Hate at what he'd helped to do; what he'd wanted and worked at for so long. Regulus could almost feel it coming off in waves.
It was a hate that he rightfully deserved.
Regulus' heart suddenly lurched inside his chest as he recognized the face. He knew him, a pureblooded Ravenclaw in his sixth year, just as Regulus was. They shared a few classes together, even spoke on rare occasions...and now they were trying to kill each other.
The boy's wand shot up, but before either could move so much as an inch more a spell collided with the figure standing in front of Regulus and the young man's body exploded. He never even had the chance to scream, because he was well and dead before he ever knew what happened.
Blood and flesh splattered Regulus and the surrounding ground all around his feet in warm sticky globs, clasping onto his face, his skin, anywhere it touched. The smell was sickening and the youngest Black brother's eyes widened as he felt bile burn at the back of his throat...and then he ripped off his mask, fell onto his hands and knees, and vomited.
From across the street he could see a figure he knew by size, shape, and brutal method as Bellatrix out of the corner of his eyes, and could imagine the sneer shot at him from under her mask before she went rushing back into the fray, pushing, cursing and hexing anyone unlucky enough to be stuck in her path. He knew what she thought of him. He knew she thought he was weak. Most of all, he knew that what she thought was right.
He wiped his mouth off on his sleeve and shakily tried to push himself up off the ground, not even bothering to replace his mask back on his face as rocks dug themselves into his palms, his whole body shaking as he was pushed and jostled every time he came within an inch of standing. He still saw the venomous look in the boy's angry brown eyes. It was a look he'd seen before, the same look his brother had given him when he'd found out what he'd done, what he'd become a part of. Now, all he could see was Sirius standing there, his older brother being blown to bits by his cousin in front of his eyes. It was all so much clearer now. This was the reality; not the boyish fantasy he'd dreamed up for himself for so long; not the glamorous life he thought he'd have. It was so much darker, so much crueler than that.
His legs felt like they'd been struck with a jelly-leg jinx as he finally managed to find his way to his feet. He watched as Lucius ran past, saw the glint of pleasure in his eyes as he fought.
'Sirius was right all along. These people, they're all monsters, and now so am I. How did I find myself in this mess?'
Regulus knew exactly how he had found himself there. He'd wanted to make his parents proud of him, wanted the respect that they'd give, wanted to be the one placed in the spotlight. He'd been a coward, a bloody frightened coward. Regulus had seen what happened to his brother, had seen what his being brave and noble had gotten him, and he had believed that his parents were right, had believed that he was right. But he wasn't. He wasn't even close.
The junior Death Eater dogged another hex fired his way and winced as his foot twisted painfully out from under him, tripping over a hole blasted in the ground, but he swiftly regained his balance and started toward the edge of the dueling crowd, watching as robes swished and wands fired colorful spells as their light reflected in his eyes. Bitter thoughts still swirled through his mind, self-hatred boiling through his body as he was forced to blast a man out of his way, stepping over the body and racing on through the crowd.
Sirius was right all along, if only he could apologize. They used to be so close before he left, before he started hanging around his Gryffindor friends and dropped 'little Reg' off into the background. There wasn't any time for his little brother after that, not when he was so important with those lions stationed at his back.
'Then he ran away and left me alone...'
Regulus stumbled his way to the edge of the crowd and almost fell again as someone stepped on his robe running past. Gritting his teeth, he caught himself on a charred building wall and, with a grimace, he stood once more. Everything was blurred, and that's when he realized tears were falling down his face. He'd never allowed himself to cry in front of others, but it didn't matter anymore. He was tired of hiding what he felt, tired of going along with what was expected, tired of everything. If he'd only listened to what his brother warned him about, if only he hadn't been so stupid. Regulus wanted to go to him, for Sirius to tell him what to do as he did all those years ago when they were children. But even if he went to Sirius, Regulus knew all he'd find would be a door slamming shut in his face, and he'd deserve it. All his older brother would see at his doorstep would be a snake, and maybe he'd be right. Maybe a snake's all he was. But there had to be something he could do, anything he could do to set things right again.
He sank back down to his knees as, above his head, the Dark Mark glowed a ghastly green.
That night he came home a family hero. His mother praised him, just as he'd always dreamed she would, but for once he didn't want her praise. They didn't understand what it was really like, what it was like to look into the eyes of a child and end them by their own hand. They didn't know what it was like to watch the life suddenly vanish from a little girl's frightened blue eyes, didn't know the pain of hearing her mother's screams as she cried out for her daughter, didn't know what it was to witness her older brother begging to die in his sister's place, her father give his life while trying to save her. Would his family have done that for him, cared enough to put their own necks on the block to save his? No, he knew they wouldn't. When he was younger he'd believed that his family knew everything, but now he found that they knew nothing. Nothing at all.
It was almost four in the morning by the time he was able to escape from his mother and off to the safety of his bedroom. He shed his stained Death Eater uniform, throwing it in a pile onto the floor, and put on his emerald and silver night robes in it's place before sinking down onto his bed.
Regulus wouldn't be able to sleep now, too much had happened, too much guilt had settled down inside his chest. He needed time to think, he needed time to be alone and just think.
Then he heard a pop.
"Master Regulus has returned. Is there anything Kreacher can do for his young master?" Recognizing the scratchy old voice, Regulus' gray eyes landed on the bat like ears and large beady eyes of his family's old house elf, and a small smile flickered onto his face at the sight of him. No matter what anyone else may have thought they knew about Regulus, Kreacher was the only one who was ever a friend to him, who ever really knew him. Sirius never understood his like for the old elf, but Sirius never really took the time to be nice to Kreacher, either.
"Not right now, but thank you Kreacher. I'll call if I need anything," He answered, and the house elf bowed once and popped back out of the room.
Regulus was alone again.
A/N: I know, horrible me coming out with a story when I already have one started, especially after two months since the last update. If it redeems me any (see what I did there?) I'm rewriting what I had for the third chapter of founders, and it's going to be much better than it would have with my first plan. I also have the second chapter done for this, I just have to go back and add polish.
Another good thing is this will only be five chapters max and will hopefully get me back into my Pillars if I time the alternating chapters right . This was actually one I had an idea for and started on a while back, and had it up but took it down. I'm just now editing and putting it back up. If you spot any mistakes I missed, or know someway I can improve, don't hesitate to tell me. I want to know!
Thanks for reading. :)