So, I was talking to a friend, and she said I made Harry suffer too much. Then she challenged me to write something with him happy from beginning to end, and I, of course, Accepted It.
Here's the result, I hope you like it. Specially you, Holy dear.
The name of the story comes from a song of the same name by The Perishers. And , of course, nothing belongs to me.
Come Out of the Shade
Was it love,
Or just something that reminded me of
Something that felt a lot like, but wasn't, love
First, there had been Ginny. Cho, actually, but all the teen angst was not going to be taken into account here. So, it all had begun with Ginny, and I actually did think I loved her. It seemed like love, the butterflies and monsters in my stomach, the thrill of expecting her to come and greet me every time I got to the Burrow, it was warm and fun and bright – pretty much like her hair.
I was happy, and she was happy too – for a while, until we both noticed we spent far longer talking than kissing, and discussing Ron and Mione between giggles than thinking about, you know, getting laid and stuff.
So we broke up. No tears, no angst, no nothing – we were both adult enough to realize we were great friends and a terrible couple. The truth of it was actually proven when, a month after we had broken up no one seemed to have noticed a difference in our relationship, and the media only caught wind of it when Ginny went out with Guy of the Week, and someone took a picture, trying to cause a scandal.
It caused laughter, but that was pretty much it.
Just friends, friends then, until the end
You know I still pretend, just friends.
After that, there was Neville. We got to spend a little more time together at our last year at Hogwarts, what with Ron and Mione disappearing to snog at all times of the day, and we understood each other.
Plus, it was nice to just hang out and be free, no threats after the war, even of the building itself was pretty damaged, and a few classes had to be moved around.
Neville was the first boy I noticed as a, you know, man. He is pretty hot, admit it, anyone who had seen him brandishing the Gryffindor sword in battle thought so too. So I got a crush – the smallest crush – he was cute and single and fun to be around, but I never even acted on it, because, come on, you can't just up and go to the guy who sleeps in the same dorm as you and say 'hey, I think you're cute, so floo me, maybe'.
When he and Luna started dating I actually just gave up, and well, a few days after that I realized it was just a friend's crush, really, because real feelings, like, real crushes felt completely different.
How did I know that, you ask?
Easy.
Malfoy.
Take a step and come out of the shade
I can tell you're no longer afraid
I'm helpless without your warming smile
Take a step and come out in the sun
I can tell it's already begun
I'm helpless without your warming smile
So there I was, at Hogwarts, post war, no threats, no Voldemort, and then I'm going to the Quidditch pitch and there's Malfoy, right there, by the lake, looking tall and handsome, and is that a cute ass I'm seeing, and oh my merlin what am I thinking, and I have to talk to Hermione right now, and Ginny too, because Neville ok, but Malfoy is just gorgeous isn't he and that's not what I was supposed to think, what was it again?
Yeah, that was how I was when I realized he had to be the most interesting looking guy in school. Not the most handsome – he was too pale and thin to be a heartthrob, Ron is cuter than him, in that manly man way, broad shouldered and big and all that; but Malfoy has all this weird aristocratic charm going on for him. The way he looks at all times, and his cheekbones, and the way his hair just, well, was.
I'm no good in this describing this crush thing, but the fact is he was not the most gorgeous guy at Hogwarts, but I noticed him, and we had this sort of weird truce going on ever since I returned him his wand, and I told him he had been the Master of the Elder Wand, and he got really happy and smiled at me – smiled, you know, not smirked, and it is a big difference, and when I explained that to Hermione and Ginny they went all 'aww', and Ron made a face that was a cross between a smirk and preparing to throw up.
So anyway, I had this crush on him, and Hermione told me I should talk to him. Because I was a Gryffindor, and same sex relationships aren't an issue in the Wizarding World, and I should give it a shot, and Ginny said she got what I was babbling about his charm and poise – even though I deny vehemently to having used the word poise – so I decided to try to talk to him.
Of course we all know how good I am in this talking business, so the conversation went a bit like 'hey, great game on the pitch, you're really getting better, see you next game', and then I tucked tail and ran.
Ron is still laughing. He'll still be laughing when we're a hundred and six.
Was it love, I think it was but I'm far from sure
I'd never felt that way before, was it love?
Just friends, am I a fool to be asking for,
a fool to wish that we could be more than friends
It's no shame admitting I was confused. All of a sudden, Potter was trying to be nice to me – not the polite thing he had been doing ever since mom saved his skinny ass during the last battle, but nice. He was stammering sentences, and running away blushing, and Pansy pointed out he had a crush on me, and I should exploit that.
Yeah, I should, because it wasn't like I had a crush on him too. No, not at all.
If he thought he was being subtle about it he was completely mistaken too. HufflePuffs had realized what was going on before he did, and I could see his ex-girlfriend giggling every time he talked to me.
The thing is they all were expecting me to just, you know, smile and nod and tell him off. Only I didn't want to do that, because while being with Pansy had been fun, it wasn't permanent, and she and Zabini were a couple ever since the middle of sixth year – also known as the year of Hell – and Potter was… well, he was cute, ok? I can say it, no problem from me there, I'm a Malfoy, I have no problem admitting it. He's cute.
He has that crazy hair that seems to be alive and have a mind of its own, and he keeps on trying to tame it, and we all just know he's fighting a losing battle. He also has this way of biting his lips when he's nervous, and he fiddles with his sleeves all the time. He can't stand still, in class he's always hitting his quill against the desk, or shaking his leg, and he keeps on looking around every two seconds as if he's expecting something more interesting to show up just because he's so bored.
He's skinny as hell, but in a cute way. All bones and angles and rosy cheeks. He's shorter than me and his red-headed minion, but he's not so short that it'd be funny or awkward, an average height, and his eyes.
I can't even with his eyes.
So, yeah, he was crushing on me, and I was crushing on him too, except he was a Gryffindor and he could do something about it in public, and I had to resort to a few more underhanded ways to call his attention.
That's what I was trying to do it, until the second Pansy observed it wouldn't look good for me that Potter had taken the first step towards, you know, us, because then he'd be the Alpha in the relationship – which is complete crap, because I'm a Malfoy, not a wolf, but that sentence sparked this very vivid image of me pulling him close and just kissing him to shut him up, and damn, that looked good.
So that's what I did.
Take a step and come out of the shade
I can tell you're no longer afraid
I'm helpless without your warming smile
Take a step and come out here in the sun
I can tell it's already begun
He was walking towards me.
Towards me. He was walking.
I looked at Hermione with just a tiny little bit of desperation in my eyes – I mean, War? Fine. Crazy people hunting me? Breeze. But Malfoy coming my way when I had not prepared myself for the conversation that would follow?
Yup, I was panicking.
The game had just finished, and Gryffindor had beaten Ravenclaw by, well, a lot. More interesting things happened that day for me to remember the score of that game. Ginny was beside me, and Mione was just a few steps away, with Ron by her side, and the blond menace was coming in my direction, and I didn't know what to do.
Half the school was watching because, Hermione told me a few years later, they had bets on who was going to do what to whom. It varied from punches to kisses to hexes, in different orders and combinations and instigators. Very amusing if I wasn't the subject of the bets, but ok. I can let it go now.
So he came my way, and Ginny, the traitor, disappeared with a whispered good luck, and he was right in front of me. So I opened my mouth, because I can't keep it shut.
"Hey, Malfoy, how are you doing? Watching the game today? Not an easy win, I assure you, you're up against Ravenclaw next, aren't you? I bet it'll be Gryffindor against Slytherin in the finals, though, the best games always are, and…"
"Potter.", his voice was a bit commanding and annoyed, and I thought, this is it. This is how he's going to tell me to stop crushing on him, "Shut up, ok? I'm trying to kiss you here."
And then he did it.
Kiss me, I mean.
In the middle of the Quidditch pitch, with every single student in the whole school watching, and I heard McGonagall say that wasn't the time or the place and there were kids watching, but honestly? I didn't care one bit, because Malfoy was a damn great kisser, and Cho and Ginny had nothing on him.
To tell you the truth, I have no idea if anyone else would have anything on him, because I haven't kissed anyone else since.
We went through the whole clichés pantheon together, the "Call me Harry", and "My name is Draco", to "You have to meet my parents, and no, that one time in the forest does not count" and "Yes, we're going to dinner at the Burrow, and you can't hide", and we survived.
It's just a tiny bit crazy but I do love him, you know?
Quite a lot.
And last night he asked me to marry him, and I said yes, and he gave that one smile that seems to lighten up the whole room, and I kind of guessed that means he loves me too, even if he hadn't spelled it out in rose petals on the bed we share in our small flat in London, so I can finish my Auror training, and he can be on time for his Healing Classes.
He'd probably kill me if he knew I told anyone about the roses and the petals and the I love you, but I took a picture and I'll show it to Hermione and Ginny the first chance I get, because it's just… amazing.
Life wasn't easy or always happy for me. I didn't even know enough about love to actually recognize it for many years, but when I did, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and made me happy.
Happier than any dream or fairytale.
And I do hope it never ever ends.
I'm helpless without you,
Helpless without you,
Helpless without your warming smile
Your warming smile
All this fluffiness, omg.
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