Title: When a Heart Breaks, Does it Make a Sound?
Summary: She may be the avatar, master of (hopefully soon to be) all four elements… and yet despite that fact, despite the whole balance of the entire world resting upon her shoulders, she is still just a teenage girl.
Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Korra.
Well that was frighteningly awful.
Korra growled in frustration, fire shooting from her clenched fists to the cold earth below, while her side groaned in protest. She stomped her foot like a child, and figured that Ikki would probably be proud of herself for rubbing off on the much older Avatar. The wound in her side protested once more, as if it was Tenzin scolding both her and Ikki for being so immature. She snarled and pushed the pain aside, upset at her last futile attempt at cumulating even the smallest amount of air. Korra never was one to listen to protest anyway. Many would voucher to that.
Having only been on bed rest for a grand total of one day, Korra encompassed herself into practice immediately. The war was upon them, Amon and his equalists gathering all around the city, there was no time to be lying around in bed. At this point there was nothing left to do but wait, wait until hell itself opened up. But this…this was so completely frustrating that she was almost begging for an equalist to jump out of nowhere; to just attack her and give her a reason to smash someone's face in; to use the elements that she had already made her own. With a sigh, Korra got back into form, going through the motions once more as she let her mind wander...
She didn't understand. All of the other elements had come so easily to her. It was second nature. She had been trained well, of that there was no doubt, but even before her training had begun she had already been so fluent in the three elements. She loved them all from the very beginning. The cool, calm collected nature of water, the way it flowed, and yet with the flick of her wrist could be turned into something so powerful, so out of control as much as it was in control, and it blew her mind. The enchanting passion of fire that with a single spark could ignite someone's entire being with warmth, and yet so much beauty could barely be contained. Once it's let loose, it will always be loose. Kind of like herself, she supposed. Earth was something entirely different, so controlled, so commanding and authoritative, it simply begged for respect. Something that she wished she had gained from the people of Republic City. But how could one get something that they didn't deserve? She shook her head. It was no time for a pity party.
The sound of the water as it splashed against the shore of Air Temple Island distracted her briefly, and she let her air bending form fall. Out of the five senses, sound was one of the ones that Korra loved the most. It held so much emotion. The sound of the waves against the shore so steady and soft, a comfort in the night, almost as if it could feel her pain. She sat down and relaxed against the shore and let the calming sound of water soothe her. The flow and ebb of the tide making it very easy for her to quickly forget her frustration and realize that as much of a burden as it was to be the avatar, she also couldn't even begin to imagine herself as anything else, as anyone else. She could never just have one element, how did the other benders do it? It was something completely foreign to her.
She lit a flame in her hand and closed her eyes, feeling the warmth.
She listened.
The crackling, the subtle pop, the way she could feel the sound. A sound so faint, yet so powerful at the same time. An inferno just waiting to be unleashed.
The ground vibrated with someone's footsteps. Korra could feel it. Yes, even the earth had a sound. A rumble of sorts, that can be described by so many words and yet none would do it justice. Soft soil shifting just so subtly that only the best earth benders could sense it. A comforting sound, just like the others… How would she have ever been able to be happy with just one?
"Korra."
A million emotions conveyed in one single word. Another reason sound was so beautiful. It had nothing to do with who spoke it though, no, nothing at all. Maybe if Korra kept telling herself that, she would actually start to believe it...
"Hey there city boy, you up to something?"
"Why do you always think I'm up to something?" Mako looked at her, noticing immediately her posture of favoring one side. "What are you doing out here? You should be resting!"
"No time, Mako. You know that. I can't just sit around and do nothing while Amon trapezes around like he owns the whole place, er, whole city!" Korra was growing exasperated. She had already been on edge, and this was the last person she wanted to deal with at the moment. At first, his protective nature was endearing. When she had returned from being imprisoned by Taarlok, he hadn't left her bedside until the healers had kicked him out, and even then he tried to return. But now… now his concern was like a slap in the face. She didn't want it, if she couldn't have him. Korra, being an only child, was never good with sharing, she was never good at accepting only pieces of a whole. And perhaps this was a flaw in her character. So she would learn, learn to share… but the time to learn was not now. She didn't want him being protective if there was no clear cut feeling behind it. Mako was her friend, but Bolin was her friend too, and you didn't see him hovering over her every move like a mother goosehen… so what the heck did he want from her? It wasn't fair to her for him to string her along like this. It wasn't fair to Asami, either.
He sighed. So many things could be heard in that sound… sadness, weariness, longing… Korra stopped herself from listening.
"Korra what good will you be to Republic City if you are beaten and bruised before the war even starts?" Mako tried to reason with her.
Too bad Korra was not one for reason, especially from someone who she considered so unreasonable.
"The war has started Mako! Don't you see them preparing? Don't you see Amon infiltrating the city from the inside out? This is my job! I'm the avatar! You gotta deal with it!" Huh, Déjà vu, Korra thought briefly. Wearily, she heard the howling of the wind, like a cry in the night, a cry for her... yes, even the element she had yet to master has a sound. So many emotions… She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I've got to do this. I've got to prepare. I know that in such a short time I won't be able to even begin to master air bending, but I've at least got to try, while there is still time left." And when she opened her eyes again, they were filled with resolve and determination, the ocean itself, and Mako knew he had lost. She turned away from him, then, intent on ignoring him. But he grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back.
And it burned.
Her shoulder burned from where he touched her. It ached in a place so deep that she thought she would fall inside. Fall inside of the dark chasm that was herself. He had taken a part of her, a part she was unaware she had. It was amazing really, it took him to realize that she had it, and almost in the same instant, all it took was him to take it from her. The sound of words reached her, but she wasn't listening. His lips moving, while she refused to open her ears. The capability of sound, to convey so many things at once, so beautiful and powerful, with the ability to build up and tear down. The sense of hearing – it was like an element itself – and for the first time in her life she wished she didn't have it. She wished for nothingness; for silence. She wanted to ignore him. Ignore his words that were meaningless. Ignore the feelings she had for him. He had been the one to hang her out to dry before, hadn't he? So quickly ending their friendship without a second thought, all for the beautiful rich girl with green eyes...green eyes that were merely no longer just a color, but a figurative suspicion of a girlfriend witnessing her boyfriend's actions for another...Why was Korra thinking this way? Why was she thinking of this at all? There were so many things that were so much more important. The fate of Republic City, the fate of bending itself! Learning airbending! So, how could she be standing here trying to ignore a boy? He wasn't even worth it, not when he made it perfectly clear that there was nothing to fight for. He had chosen Asami, hadn't he...?This wasn't the Korra she knew. This Korra was weak. What had happened to her…?
"… if you would just let me take care of you…" He continued speaking.
The fire inside her roared.
The air screamed as her fist sliced through it…
… Only to collide with his face.
The earth thundered its displeasure when he fell unceremoniously upon it.
And the water cried from where he splashed onto its bank.
She didn't say a word, she needn't make a sound. The elements had done it for her.
She watched as his expression turned from "WTF?" to completely shocked. And yet she said nothing. No explanation. No apology. Why would she give him one, when he had not given her one? He had taken something from her, and had yet to give it back…
"Wh-Kor-WHAT is YOUR problem?"
For a brief second, just hearing him stammer, hear him at a loss for words, made her happy she still had the power to listen. She fought a smirk.
"My problem is you." She put her hand on her hip, in a typical fashion that was just so Korra, and sighed. "I'm the avatar Mako. The bring-balance-to-the-world- freaking- AVATAR! And I'm sitting here, getting mad at myself because of you! A boy! A jerk! An indecisive, firebending, jerk boy!"
For a brief moment, Korra got distracted by the wind singing, rustling the leaves from the tree above her. Mocking her. Saying, "we can airbend and you can't". She sighed again (it seemed like that was all she was doing lately – the only form of airbending she had mastered).
"What? Me? I'm just trying to look out for you! How is that being a jerk?" Mako was, in his mind, justifiably angry. This girl was crazy! She had just decked him in the face! For no reason! Spirits help me. "You are so frustrating!" She could hear it plainly in his voice, the frustration. But then there it was. Beneath the anger and frustration. The hurt, the despair, the pain… not from the fist but from the strike…
And Korra wished for nothingness again.
She watched him turn away, watched as he walked away from her, pausing every so often to glance back, but he kept walking. Her fire dying inside and the earth creaking beneath his feet… This is what she wanted. It was for the best. He hadn't chosen her. He was with Asami, even while he was at her beside. She was showing him the boundaries of a friend (after all, that is what he wanted her to be: a friend) and the boundaries shouldn't be crossed. He would never forget again, she wouldn't let him, or herself…But as the ocean cried after him, a mournful sound, she felt a crack in her chest, a pounding in her ears, and an ache come over her far more penetrating than Taarlok's bloodbending had ever been, and Korra had to wonder…
When a heart breaks, does it make a sound?
I think there will be a part 2! But I'm not sure….
Reviews are most welcome! Thanks so much!