"This is so humiliating. I am…I'm beyond humiliated."
"No. It's cool."
"I'm not sure that you know what I'm talking about and, er…yeah. I am actually beyond…humiliation can bite me. I need a new word."
"It has served you well dude. And whatever you're feeling right now probably can't compare to the time with the alcohol and Greg and the strippers and the Beast costume. Oh, and Pocahontas."
Fred buries his head in his arms and groans. "Maybe. But this runs a close and unparalleled second."
"I'm guessing that this is more than the promotion. I mean, once you're dressed up at all it's not like a massive mouse is much worse, though actually, think about it: where else is it a promotion to go from massive, strong and terrifying beast, to very old mouse?"
"It's a wonder you're allowed to work around children given how much it sounds like you're high."
Ben shrugs. "It's the wonder of this free country my friend."
"You are weird. Weird and twisted."
"Whatever. What have you done?"
Fred groans again. "It's not what I've done. It's what's going to happen…"
"What's going to happen? Besides your death, I mean. That's pretty inevitable."
"You are quite the ray of freaking sunshine sometimes." He sighs. "I'm about to get rejected, for the second time."
"A girl?"
"No the massive job promotion!"
"You can't get any higher. You're the mouse!"
"I was being sarcastic!"
"Oh." Ben rocks his chair back and takes a drink from the carton of juice, blissfully aware of how much he looks like a seven year old. "So?" He continues. "You've only been rejected twice? No wonder you're the mouse…"
Exasperation fuels a harrumphing breath. "Same girl twice."
"So?"
"You realise I'm not propositioning her…that I'm not trying to lure her back to my flat, right?"
"Uh…"
"Ben, I've proposed to her, twice."
Ben frowns. This kind of dedication to commitment baffles him. "Is this like one of those films with the cocky guy who does bigger and bigger stunts to win the girl until she say yes in a touching yet amusing manner?"
"What crap have you been watching?"
Ben grimaces.
"No. It's like I proposed once, and then having done the whole movie crying and leaping and kissing thing, she turns round the next day, says no, and leaves. Then, I see her again. I get to know her again, no matter how, I don't know, castrated I'm feeling? I leave a letter for her whilst everyone else is there telling her that I'm still in love with her, and that all I want is one word from her and I'll either phone the priest or give up. Right?"
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"When was this last part? The letter-leaving?"
Fred thumps the table on which he is slumped, plastic drink cups bouncing along it. "An hour ago."
Ben stops tilting his chair. It crashes down to its intended four legs again. "Dude, why are you hiding out in here? Go and find her."
"Why?"
"So that you'll know once and for all. You don't make some kind of ultimatum and then hide. Poor girl is probably searching right now for you." A cough. "And Belle is off in five minutes and we were going to meet here." A wiggled eyebrow, and meaningful smile.
Fred's distaste plays around the corners of his mouth. "Special" he mutters, and stands up, drawing sweat dampened hair back off his forehead, ramming on his old baseball cap. "Wish me luck" he says, and then walks out, slamming the fire door behind him, only hearing as far as "GOOD!"
She isn't anywhere to be found. He skulks around the backs of buildings, knowing how much he shouldn't be seen, especially in such a non-magical capacity. Then it occurs to him that the skulking looks more dodgy. So he walks amongst the crowds, blindly finding his way to his car, resigned that he would continue the head thumping despair at home. It's only then that he realises that she's sitting on the hood of his car, her hair down, sunbathing.
"What are you doing here?"
"It would appear that I'm sitting on your car."
"It was expensive" he mutters, suddenly, inexplicably terribly aware of his hair.
She shoots him a look that could instantly crush his car were it directed that way. He shifts from foot to foot. "You really don't know why I'm here?"
"Well I…" He looks up and frowns. Somewhere in the back of his mind a tiny cricket is trying to tell him the answer. He shakes his head. "This place is really getting to me" he mutters.
"What?"
"Nothing." A pause. "I did say something about one word and yadda yadda…"
"Yes. I am here for that one word."
"Would it have to be bleeped out if we were on TV?"
She rolls her eyes. "Should be one of those, but no."
He sighs. It's probably a step forward. "What is it?"
She tosses her hair back as a breeze picks up, and leans back, eyes slightly closed against the sun. She sighs, and twists up her mouth, thinking. "Yes but."
"Yes but what?"
"'Yes but' is my answer."
"It's a yes?"
"Partly."
All other cognitive thought leaves his brain. He leans over, palms flat on the hood of his car, and kisses her, not registering the fact that either a) the car is freaking hot, or b) that she is trying to say something.
"Fred! Listen!"
"What?"
She pushes him away gently, and he sighs. She scoots down the hood, and perches right in front of him, feet resting on the bumper. "You need to understand the 'but'."
"Is this some kind of woman thing?"
She smiles and caresses his cheek, before giving him a short sharp slap. "One T doofus."
He frowns, rubbing his smarting cheek. "Fine…" He lets out a harrumphing sigh. "So, the but…" He smirks.
"You are such a child." Shaking her head, Anne rests her hands on his shoulders. "Listen. I'm saying yes, BUT" she raises as he leans in "not like you said, and certainly not yet."
He frowns. "That sounds an awful lot like no to me."
She rolls her eyes. "Well it's not. I'm saying that 'yes' I also love you, and 'yes' I also regret not marrying you three years ago, and I'm also saying 'yes' I want to give it another go because I'm crazy about you…" She leans her forehead against his, and takes a deep breath.
"I'm crazy about you too…"
"Not finished here bucko."
"Oh."
"I can't marry you yet, and I can't even be engaged to be married yet, and I can't just hang up the stupid mouse ears and leave tomorrow, and we're definitely not going to Vegas under any circumstances. Ever."
"Ever?"
She leans back and rests and hand against his cheek. He winces ever so slightly. "No. I know you. You'll get me roaring drunk and then drag me to the chapel. Even if you don't mean to, you will."
He shrugs, resigned, and she smiles. "So what does this mean?"
She shrugs in return. "I don't know. I'm willing to take a shot at forever with you though…only, baby steps."
He smiles slowly. "Baby steps? Like one kiss at a time?"
She wrinkles her nose in distaste. "Hell, I think it's time you hung up your mouse ears for sure. Go and do something more manly. A little less…"
"Castrating?"
"Well…yeah."
"Good, as I've just accepted a job away from this magical kingdom of insanity."
She smiles. "Really?"
"Yeah" he says, nodding. "Floristry."
She laughs and pushes his shoulder as he puts his arms round her and pulls her to him, sliding off the hood of the car. "You're an idiot" she murmurs against his mouth.
"Really?" he replies. "You're my whole world."