Prologue
The Courage That My Mother Had
The courage that my mother had
Went with her, and is with her still:
Rock from New England quarried;
Now granite in a granite hill.
The golden brooch my mother wore
She left behind for me to wear;
I have no thing I treasure more:
Yet, it is something I could spare.
Oh, if instead she'd left to me
The thing she took into the grave!-
That courage like a rock, which she
Has no more need of, and I have.
- By Edna St. Vincent Millay
The Gold Rose
She never wore the same thing twice it seemed, except for the rose, the golden rose. No matter what the season or weather she had the brooch pined near her left shoulder. In the days of my childhood the golden rose seemed to sparkle and glimmer when any amount of light hit it. That may have been my childhood imagination but the image of her teaching my class with her sparkling brooch will be forever ingrained into my memory.
My mother was an extraordinary woman. Her cheerful spirit inspired her students to overcome any challenge and always try their best. I clearly remember the day when she exhibited this quality, it was like she made magic happen.
Phoebe was and is an incredibly intelligent person; however she always had one problem at school. Do you remember the kid that never brought anything to class? When the teacher would say "If everyone brings and finishes their assignment we'll do this and this," the next day that one student would not have their work done and it would make everyone very aggravated - that was Phoebe.
For Phoebe, forgetting about her assignments did not happen every once in awhile – no, this happened every single day. If you've ever done it yourself, you know how frustrating it can be to completely forget about the homework you were assigned and then show up at school realizing you failed to remember once again. It makes you believe that you will never succeed no matter what you do.
This happened to Phoebe; and as a result she started to skip school and went to the caves near town all day. My mother finally caught onto this when Phoebe was gone for the third day. Instead of reporting to her parents and letting Simon and Barbara deal with the problem, she took it into her own hands. She had asked my father, the mayor, to watch the class while she went out for an hour during one school day. I don't know what it was she said to Phoebe, but within an hour she was back with Phoebe who tackled her missing assignments with a vigor we never knew she had.
My mother had creativity that could engage the child with even the shortest attention span, the students whom under different circumstances would never have participated did so with excitement. In my class those students where Luke and Maya together, for them I'm sure she would do a cartwheel need be.
Her greatest quality in my eyes however would be her courage. She was the most courageous women in the whole town to me. She had overcome feats which many people could never have imagined. An alcoholic mother who was barely there and a drug addict of a father who sat around all day watching Jeopardy. Instead of wallowing in her misery she left that miserable scene behind. While attending High School, she lived on the streets without succumbing to the temptations that wait at every corner. She graduated with flying colors and she continued on to one of the top colleges in the state and got a degree in English and Math with a minor in History and Latin.
She moved onto this little town where she met my father. He as a young man was very charismatic with people, but became a blubbering idiot when around pretty girls. Despite him being short, chubby, and saying the strangest things around her, she somehow or another she fell in love with him. Since as I mentioned before he was a blubbering idiot around pretty girls and took so long, she ended up being the one to propose. They were one of the last couples of their generation in town to marry. Shortly after they wedded I was born.
I have no idea how it is that two charismatic people could have a child as socially awkward as I, but my parents did. Despite their best efforts, as a child I would never engage with the children my age. As I grew up my closest friend was Jin, a boy almost five years older than me. Although I only played with him it was only during school or town events. There were also the Harvest Sprites, but my parents believed them to be make believe.
As you can imagine my lack of socialization frustrated my parents endlessly. Why was it that their six year old son was reading Treasure Island instead of playing with the boys or even girls around town? It's not like they were doing anything wrong, or that they sheltered him.
It wasn't their fault at all. I was too frightened of kids, shy I guess you could say. I lacked the courage to ask Luke or Owen if they wanted to play cars or whatever it is I would have played with at that age.
My life changed week before the first day of school, my freshman year. Mother had gone into the neighboring city to collect some supplies for the classroom, rulers and paper I think it was. She had left in the late afternoon and said she would most likely return late at night, and not to stay up for her. My father and I alike abided and went to sleep without her for the first time in years. Little did we know we would continue without her for the rest of our lives.
My father awoke me the next morning, which was odd since I usually awoke by the alarm clock. His face was blotted red, he had been crying, he was crying. While Father was not the type of man to contain his emotions, he rarely cried since we had a fairly happy life.
He told me that there had been an accident. I quickly did a check list in my head to see what could have been wrong.
He told me that Mother was in it.
I started to get up, thinking that she was in the hospital; the thought that she could have been dead didn't even cross my mind.
He said that Mom was dead.
I can't correctly describe my emotions at the time. I'm not sure if anyone could in that situation. It's a shock. I didn't even question my father, why would he lie about that? My mind wouldn't be able to grasp the fact that she was gone, never coming back for at least a year. Still though, I think now and again that I should tell my mother this or that, and then I recall she's dead.
She had been walking to the harbor where Pascal was awaiting for her. Having gathered all the items she needed, my mother was weary and ready to be home. She never made it to the seaside. A drunken driver ran her over and proceeded to run into a brick building. I don't hate the woman that ran into her. For she died too, her family came to us in their grieving and did the only thing they could do, apologies. I've never had any ill will towards him.
Our small town had suffered a great loss. Not only was she the mayor's wife and the only teacher. She was a enchanting woman who would be greatly missed by the children of the island and the adults alike.
Her funeral was a week later; in her coffin she wore her golden brooch. I stared at her face; she was wearing a lot of makeup, Mother had never worn makeup she had the rare natural beauty; I suppose it was to cover up the scars of the accident. I stared at her brooch, saddened by the thought that it would no longer twinkle in the light as she taught me and my fellow students. My father was next to me, upon seeing me looking at the brooch he told me to take it. He said that she would have wanted me to have it. So I did.
Since then there was nothing I treasured more, no item in my position or that I could possibly want that I could or would treasure more. To me it's a representation of my mother's soul. Pure and beautiful, a golden rose.
It's been nearly 14 long years; I'm well over the worst of it, for children are prepared for when their parents die, even when they die half life of 38. I'm in love now. She moved to the island almost a year ago, to start a farm. In many ways she reminds me of my mother. Not only that but she's saving this dying lass of land with her hard work and effort at her farm. I wish to spend my life with this girl.
I began wearing the brooch, in hopes that her spirit, her courage would rub off on me. Still, I lack the courage to express my love to the girl of my dreams. The courage my mother had that went with her everywhere is still with her now.
Why Mother, why did you leave me this accursed pin? I'd give away my treasured Rosen Brooch for what I need. Why couldn't you of left me what you took with your body to your cold rocky grave? What you no longer are in need of and I have need– courage unwavering.
This fic was inspired by the Poem "The Courage My Mother Had" It's a really good poem, I recommend it.
What made me want to write it was the fact that Gill's mother was dead and that Gill does wear a golden brooch that's shaped like rose in the Fall and Winter. The poem is about that. Around that Fall or Winter, in the game Gill started saying his 'romantic' things so I made the connection that Gill wore it for courage. I was also inspired from the story Natsume posted about Gill's mother.