CHAPTER - 7
Christian, Elliot, Carrick, and Ethan left for the ball park at four with Taylor driving. It was the boys' night out. When Sawyer brought Anastasia home from work, she changed into jeans and her favorite new short sleeve soft silk tunic of teals and yellows in an abstract pattern when something caught her eye! She spotted her mother's quilt folded on the back of the chair in the bedroom. She picked it up and it smelled like sunshine. Then she checked the drawers that Christian had cleared out for her things, and everything smelled freshly laundered.
When she walked into the kitchen she said, "Mrs. Jones, you're a miracle worker when it comes to cleaning. Thank you, my mother's quilt has never smelled so fresh."
"Ana, it's my pleasure, and I want to tell you that quilt is worth money. Did your mother make it?"
"When my mother moved to Texas with husband number three, she took up quilting. The marriage and the quilting were both short-lived. My mom is coming to the wedding so you can tell her yourself. I'm going to make a gin and tonic and wait for others to arrive. I know you made something special for dinner. I'm not sure how you could possibly beat the terrific picnic you prepared for us on Saturday. Your fried chicken and potato salad were the best ever. Christian ate four pieces of chicken, but you must know that it's one of his favorites, and is that why you made so much? Thank you."
Ana watched Gail as she made the drink so she would know where to get the liquor when she wanted one on her own. "Do you want lime or cucumber?"
"I've never had it with cucumber. Do you know which gin to use?" Gail smiled.
Ana was sipping her gin and tonic with cucumber that was very refreshing. Grace arrived then Kate with her mother. Mia showed up last.
"Dr. Grace Trevelyan-Grey, I would like to introduce Kate's mother, Mrs. Cassandra Kavanagh. Cassandra, this is Christian and Elliot's mother, Grace." They shook hands. Grace thought that Cassandra may be her son Elliot's mother-in-law someday.
The conversation started about the wedding. Mrs. Jones made drinks and then served dinner without missing a beat. Anastasia felt comfortable in the penthouse, maybe because all of her possessions were in one place. Maybe because, at long last, she could entertain comfortably in Christian's surroundings or maybe because she was in the company of women - something she needed to strive to do more often.
That night she was measured for her wedding dress, picked out the ivory silk for the dress and fine Italian ivory lace for the overlay. All of her favorite women helped her make many decisions. Mia had researched, chosen the meal and already had procured Christian's approval. She even consulted Gail, who made suggestions to enhance the dining experience.
Grace had talked to Ana's mother, Carla; it was Carla's idea about the napkins, to have only the bride and bridegroom's first initials entwined. Ana had a revelation about her wedding present for Christian. She would have a jeweler design platinum cufflinks with their first initials entwined.
Ana was happy and brought decisions to a halt when she mentioned José would be the photographer. She had already called and asked him. He told her he would do it only if Christian agreed. She knew it would be a big feather in his cap and money for his education. Ana loved her friend and only wanted the best for him.
Men stormed into the penthouse around nine with sad looks because the Mariners had lost, but Ethan had caught a foul ball. Ana ran all the decisions by Christian and he approved of all of them. He realized that José was a talented photographer from his own photo shoot at the Heathman Hotel and from the photos he had taken of Anastasia that Christian adored and couldn't wait to hang in the new house. Mia and Ethan were the first to leave. The others stayed having coffee and dessert.
While they were getting ready for bed, Ana said, "I know why you like it up here so much."
"Why," he smiled.
"When you get over the intimidation of the size and style of the penthouse, you can appreciate the people you have in it."
"My God, she is making another profound statement, like raising the ordinary to the extraordinary," Ana blushed.
The first time Ana met Christian at Grey House, after she regained her composure from her stumble, when she looked around the room she noticed Christian's art work. That is when she said the comment about ordinary to extraordinary.
"You're teasing me, and I like it. I felt comfortable here tonight entertaining guests and when we move into our new home, I hope it will have a little more ease and charm than this place."
"Ana, I never thought I would have someone share the penthouse with me other than subs. I think you have given the penthouse its glow. You have certainly lit up my life."
He was in bed waiting. "I had fun tonight with the boys. I don't know where Ethan fits in, but he does fit in. What do you think about Mia and Ethan together?"
"Let me turn off the light and get close to you. Mia is nuts about Ethan, but I think he thinks it's too early to get serious; only time will tell, but they are a good match. She will keep him from being too serious, and he will keep her grounded."
"I can read people in business, but you can read their relationships. Do you think Elliot and Kate will be permanent?"
Ana gave her opinion, "I think the two of them are in it for the long haul, but, at this point, I think it's all about the fun. Are you ready for some fun tonight or in the morning?"
She was wrapped in his arms and already he was making the sweet sounds of sleep as Ana finished speaking.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011 as Christian entered, he noticed that John's office had been painted. It was still green, only lighter and airier. "I see you took my advice and painted the place, and I also like the new rug. Oh, I get it; you took out the carpet and replaced it with a wood floor, nice job."
"Does anything ever get past you? Not one of my patients noticed the changes, just you. Did you have a nice Fourth?"
"Ana and I spent the afternoon with my parents making endless wedding plans. Do you know how much planning actually goes into a wedding? We stayed to watch the fireworks. I think Taylor and Sawyer were about to have a cow when the fireworks went off. We all made it home safe and sound."
"I know you aren't here to discuss redecorating or the 4th of July, so what's up, old man?"
"I'm worried."
After a minute passed, John finally said, "About what?"
"I know that she has agreed to marry me, but can I really make her happy?"
"Does she show any signs of being unhappy?" Christian shook his head.
"Then maybe you are the one who is unhappy."
"I'm afraid that I will drag her down with me in my own pit of hell."
"She won't let that happen, Christian. When you retreat into your dark hole, she follows to drag you back into the light. But this is not what is bothering you, is it?"
"I want her, and I feel so close to her, but I also feel that I'm not good enough. I have done terrible things to women and what if I revert back to who I was before?"
"Did you beat Ana, again?"
Christian's eyes bugged out of his head, "NO, for God's sake, no. I would never do that again."
"Then where is all this fear coming from?"
"I just don't think I'm man enough. I know I can give her material possessions and, hopefully, always protect her, but I don't know about matters of the heart; for years, I never thought I had one. How can I give her love when I'm not sure where it comes from? I'm desperate to be around her, but this fear is chewing me up. She is my more, but…I don't know how to show it."
John looked at him and saw the wounded boy, still needing his mother, sitting on his couch. "What do you want, Christian, "happily ever after" written in blood? You of all people know that life is unpredictable and has no guarantees. You have conquered so much in life, mostly without love, but now you have to face an uncertain future with love which makes this time in your life painful and fearful. If this was business, you would figure out the best strategy and follow a plan. Tell me your plan now for conquering your fear of love."
"I have to believe that, when she tells me she won't leave me, she will not leave."
He didn't speak. John didn't know whether or not Christian was thinking or had given up. So he just let him be still.
After what seemed like an eternity of silence, he said, "Maybe I have to start believing in the power of her love."
He went back to silence, and John said, "What about the power of your love?"
Christian said quietly, "The power of my love?" As he was trying to figure out what the words meant.
Finally, he looked up at John with a soul-wrenching look and said, "I have power in love?"
John waited again. "Yes, Christian, your love has power. You found that power when you gave Ana space to come back to you. You found the power to tell her you were a sadist, which we both know is untrue. You also knew your power when you asked her to marry you. Now she is neatly housed in your penthouse. What is the problem, Christian," he said with more force!
He said, "What if…?"
John became unglued and ran his fingers through his long black hair. "We don't discuss 'what ifs' in therapy. You know this, Christian. Damn it. You're breaking the number one rule. What the fuck is up, Christian," he roared.
"I found out today Jack Hyde was behind the sabotage of Charlie Tango. It was his print that was found on helicopter. He tried to molest Anastasia and I fired his ass. How can I protect her? Does he want to harm me, Ana, or both of us?"
"Christian, this is news; will you tell her?
"No, it would do nothing but upset her. I don't want her upset before the wedding."
"Why would you be upsetting yourself like this? You have enough money and security to protect her. Is there more?"
"Only that they found things about my family on Hyde's computer at work. I was hoping that, when we leave the country Jack would be found and I could stop worrying."
"Christian, do you feel better now that you told me?"
"Yes, I guess it had nothing to do with love. It just had to do with my fear and my need to protect Ana."
"Let's also say your need to control, Ana."
"Yes, I always need to control everything. It's amazing that before Ana, my life was controlled and now, with her, its chaos even sometimes at work. Ana is very much an independent woman. How did I ever think she was submissive material? You have given me much to think about as usual. I better go because I need to pick Ana up and, with Jack out there, I don't want to be late."
"She can't drive herself?"
"John, my staff takes her to work and picks her up. If Hyde could get to my helicopter, which is under twenty-four hour surveillance, then he certainly could tamper with her car in an open parking lot with no surveillance."
"True, but you aren't giving her any alone time. She is watched constantly."
"That may be true, but she hasn't complained too much. I think she is doing better since she has moved her possessions into the penthouse."
Christian stood up and stretched his large frame that shrank once he had thoughts of Ana.
Wednesday July 13, when Ana saw Kate come into the great room she said, "Oh, Kate, it has been ages. You look well, and how's Elliot?"
As they hugged she said, "He's doing great, and we're doing great. Where's Christian?"
"He had a meeting of some kind and I wanted to see you. Thank you for coming on such short notice. We have the place to ourselves for a few hours. I've missed just girl time. I know that the wedding is taking up most of my time, along with work and Christian. What do you want to drink?"
"Where are the mixings, I want to make Cosmopolitans?"
They walked into the kitchen and, with a little snooping, they found all the ingredients. Ana still didn't know where everything was, even after living in the penthouse for over a month. Ana found the martini glasses while Kate was busy with the shaker. Ana took a tray of finger food from the fridge that Mrs. Jones had prepared. Also she carried a pitcher of water for drinking. In the great room and nestled in the couch. Kate was blown away by the view of Seattle at their feet.
"How is your job at the Seattle Times, oh lowly intern?" Ana winked.
"We all don't have future husbands who buy the company so they can install us as from intern to an editor in five weeks."
"You forgot that I was acting editor for about a month."
"Oh, that makes it alright then?"
"I know you are teasing me, Kate, but others are pretty resentful at SIP. I can't tell Christian that or he would fire their asses, like he did Jack Hyde."
"Is Christian hard to live with?"
"Sometimes, but then I have no way of knowing what men are like to live with because I have only lived with my mother's husbands and mostly Ray, and you know he was as easy as pie to live with."
They finished their first drink, and this time Kate found another pitcher and filled it with Cosmopolitans. When she came back to the couch, Ana saw that and went for the finger food and had a glass of water.
After talking about work, family, and general gossip, Kate said. "You're my best friend, and I don't want to pry, but tell me, what was that damn submissive agreement I found?"
Ana was now on her third drink.
"We have kept each other's secrets for years. I know you will keep the one that I'm about to tell you. I couldn't tell you at first because I signed a nondisclosure agreement with Christian. When we first got together, I was considering doing what was written on that paper. Close your mouth! Then he found out that I was virgin. Oh, I wanted that man. He dispensed of my virginity quickly, and I had an orgasm that rocked my world. I didn't know my body could react like that. When we were finished, I asked for more."
"You're a little brazen hussy."
"You've got that right, Kate. What Christian has done to me has changed my life. Why did I wait so long to have sex? Now it's my lifeline. I don't know if other people have sex four times a day; is that normal?"
Kate's mouth flew open, "Wow, four times a day. I know Christian is good looking, and most people would think he's a sex god but, in reality, he's your sex god. Where does the contract come in?"
"Like I said, I was considering doing it, after what he gave me that first night; I would have done anything to be with him. Then I slept in his bed and I knew I wanted the whole enchilada. But if he only wanted me as a submissive, then I was willing to try."
"That must have been pretty hot sex for you to consider such kinky shit."
"How did I know what kinky shit was? So I did my best to think of what I would and wouldn't do. That is how I got the laptop. He wanted me to do research before I met him the Wednesday night before graduation. I certainly couldn't look up how to be a submissive on your computer. Look how you reacted when you saw the paper. You were going to kick his ass all over his parents' house, but I stopped you because, by then, the arrangement had changed."
Kate poured them each another drink and she drank hers down.
"Ana, this is all hard to take in. How could you even consider doing some of those things?"
"The first answer is for him, the second answer is for the mind-blowing sex. When you went to Barbados…?"
"I'm sorry, Ana, what do you mean mind-blowing sex?" Kate was wondering if sex with Elliot was mind-blowing.
"You certainly should know. Mind-blowing sex is where my body convulses, and I feel like I have shattered into a million pieces, only to wake to Christian's smiling face, and then he will complete his orgasm. (She giggles) What's even better is when we come together."
Kate went into the kitchen made them each one last drink wondering how she would get home knowing she has had too much to drink.
"Okay, let me ask, when did you realize that you couldn't be a submissive, and what changed?"
"Kate, you're my dearest friend and, if you ever tell anyone what I'm about to tell you…"
"Ana, I'll never betray you, even Elliot doesn't know about the contract."
"When I got back from Savannah, Christian was so glad to see me. We had great sex, and then I went to sleep. Christian has a hard time sleeping, and I heard him playing piano in the early morning. What a sad lament! I got up to investigate. He was so lost and lonely that all I wanted to do was make him whole. We talked awhile, and I consented to a harsh form of punishment, just to see if I could do it for him. He wanted me to become his submissive, and I wanted him. What I'm about to tell you is my fault, not his." Kate's eyes grew as big as saucers.
"I let him beat me with a belt. I could have stopped those six brutal lashes from the belt from ever hitting me, but I wanted to know if I could take it. I did, but the price I paid was losing Christian. I walked out on him that morning. I spent the next five days crying and not eating, but I did manage to start my new job. I've never known that kind of pain. My ass was sore for a few days, but the pain in my heart was overwhelming."
Ana started to cry, Kate tried to hold her, but she wouldn't have any pity. They both drained their drinks.
"On Wednesday, Christian sent me an email asking if I was going to José's show. I agreed to have him take me the next night. He was polite and restrained until after the show; on the way to dinner, he took me in an alley and kissed me, like there was only that moment for him to love me in. I haven't had a kiss like that since. I would have fucked in that filthy alley with no shame. Anyway on the ride back to Seattle, We flew down and drove back. We talked and he told me he wanted me with no contract, with no rules or devices. He wanted me! My Christian wanted me, vanilla sex and all. He changed when I left him, and now we're getting married."
"My God, if I read this in a book, I would definitely know it was fiction. Has he beaten you since?"
"No, only a few good spankings that have ended in incredible sex. What do think of your sweet Ana, who has used most of my orifices to have sex?"
"I think you're just as hot as Christian and I think he has met his match. Has he had other submissives and is that why when I looked him up online there were never any pictures of him with a woman?"
"I'm not going to answer that because that's Christian's past and his information to share. But from what I just told you he has never been gay or celibate."
"What a horrible thing to go through alone when I was away," Kate said quietly.
"Even if you had been here, I couldn't have talked to you because of the NDA. I only ripped it up a few weeks ago. And looking back on things, Kate, I'm glad you weren't here when I was going through the rough stuff. I grew up that week. I found out what I wanted, and it turned out to be Christian. I'll never leave him even if he beat me every day, which he won't. He is the sweetest man in the world who worships my body and tries to control the rest of me."
Ana got up and got each one of them another large glass of water. They talked few minutes before Christian entered the great room. His tie was undone so were the top two buttons on his shirt. For the first time and with her new perspective, Kate saw Christian with sex oozing from every pore. Ana had said he was sex on legs, and it was right in front of her now.
Ana got up and ran into his arms. She planted a kiss on him and he had no choice but to kiss her back.
Kate said, "Christian, could you take me home? I've had too much to drink."
Christian took one look at both of them and said, "Spend the night, I insist. Do you want me to call Elliot and tell him where you are?"
"No. I'll call him when I'm in bed."
For Ana, it was funny to see Kate tipsy. She had taken Christian's advice, eating and drinking water, so she had a buzz, but she wasn't drunk. They helped Kate to the bedroom upstairs where all the subs had stayed. Ana even told her there was a clean toothbrush in the bathroom.
As they shut the door, Christian said, "I can't leave you alone for one evening without you getting into trouble. I've been in a long boring dinner and then a meeting. I am exhausted and I want to sleep. I know what you want, but it'll have to wait till morning."
Monday July 18,Ana went to Neiman Marcus. She had spent the weekend roaming the beach and seeing the temperate rain forest in Olympic National Park during the day, and being tied to a four-poster bed at night; she was tired. The weekend was supposed to be relaxing, only they didn't get enough sleep. And now the thought of trying on clothes was almost more than she could bear.
Caroline Acton was nothing but efficient. "Good afternoon, Miss Steel. I must say that I'm impressed with your punctuality. I have everything waiting in your dressing room, just this way."
She opened the door to find Christian sitting in a chair. He said to Caroline, "Please give us a minute." She left discreetly.
He gave Ana a kiss of longing and desire. "I know you are doing this for me, and I'll wait outside for you to come out. You don't have to show me anything you don't want. I just want you happy and looking good on our honeymoon. If you want me to go, I will. After this past weekend, all things except you, are boring."
"You can stay and please wait. Thank you for this. Thank you for everything. Only two weeks until you're mine, all mine." She gave him a kiss back filled with longing and desire. There was a knock on the door and Christian left for his seat in the waiting area.
"I brought you a bustier so that you don't have to change undergarments. I should ask if my choices so far have been what you needed."
"Can I call you, Caroline?"
"Of course, Miss Steel."
"I'm probably one of the few women on the planet who hates to shop. You're invaluable to me. I've developed a style now that I'm comfortable with, feeling at ease in the clothes. I was never as chic as I am now. We better get back to work, Mr. Grey has an empire to run." She smirked at Caroline.
In the next hour, she tried on dresses, shorts, tops, and bikinis. Christian talked on his cell as she modeled giving her nod of approve or a shake of the head. The pile was getting bigger. After trying on two ball gowns, both of which he liked, she chose the long flowing gown in ice blue and didn't take the other.
Ana went out to Christian. "I'm going home after our discussion about intimate apparel, will I see you there or are you going back to work?"
"I can get just as much work done at home as in the office. You look tired, I'll wait here and send Sawyer on home. We don't need two bodyguards."
Bras and panties were pretty easy, and she got an ivory satin gown and robe and ordered more stockings for work.
Ana said to Caroline, "Come to think about panties, I don't like thongs or even bikinis. I would rather have French cut panties. Thongs can cause a little chaffing. I would also like a few sports bras. The bras you have picked have been perfect. I also need undergarments for my wedding. I seem to have turned into a Chatty Cathy, I like my clothes lined so I don't have to wear a slip."
"I'll make sure all the items you mentioned will go into your file."
"Sorry, Caroline, another question, do you ever shop at other stores?"
"Not usually, but I could do a little shopping on my own private time if there is something you want at another store."
"Taylor, Mr. Grey's assistant/bodyguard has bought me several things at Nordstrom's when I've been in a pinch. They are casual clothes that make me look my age."
"I'll do a field study over there and pick up a few things. If you don't like the clothes then I can always return them. When I deliver the clothes to you at the end of the week, you can show me what style you are looking for."
"Thank you, Caroline; I think we are going to be good friends."
It was over – no more trying on clothes - her honeymoon clothes had been purchased. She had bought enough clothes for the rest of the summer. No more shopping in her immediate future.
When they got back to the Escala, it was nearly five. She said, "I deserve a cocktail for trying on clothes. It's really not my thing. If you had not been there, I wouldn't have bought half the stuff. You have exquisite taste in women's clothes. Thank you."
"I'll make you a drink, what do you want?"
"Something light and refreshing please."
She took off her shoes and went out onto the narrow part of the terrace, something she had only recently been able to do; looking over the glass railing was unsettling. He found her and handed her a drink. She took a sip and said, "This is wonderful, what is this?"
"It's a Scotch Buck, scotch, fresh lemon juice, and ginger ale." She put it down on the small table and kissed him.
"Why is loving you so easy?"
"I could ask you the same question, Miss Anastasia Rose Steel. Are you getting nervous about the wedding?"
"No, I'm taking it in stride, like I do most things connected to you. Where would I be without bodyguards, Caroline Acton, and my beloved CEO control freak?
"And where would I be without my smart mouth, defying, and extremely sexy girlfriend?"
"You think I'm sexy?"
Christian almost dropped his glass of white wine. "You're sexy! I kept telling you about all the men who want you and, yet, you couldn't see it. Now you are climbing high on your sexual experiences, and everyone notices. Most people say you are growing up or have become more glamorous but, honey, it's all about your sex appeal."
"I don't know what to say except that I never thought about it that way."
She stared out on the city in her new Cartier sunglasses, took another sip of her drink, and held Christian's hand. It was a perfect ending to a very tiring day.