it was just another day in the Hood for Rexford Schillers as he exited his hollywood mansion in Millennia City. he was in his bathrobe and his hair was wet. since it was a cold september morning, he shivered. the cool breeze went over him and he was like "damn nature, fucking chill."
he walked about 1.7 miles down the driveway and picked up his newspaper. his enemy, Finn Harami was on the front page for being an outstanding hero or some shit like that idk lmao. rexford was angry. he didnt want this cute, young hero on the front page... or did he. was rexford gay.
he realized he should probably get up the driveway again rather than just sitting there like some sort of tool, reading the newspaper in front of the highway. as he stretched his calves and thighs, he hiked up the trail and then entered the front door.
he walked another 0.3 miles to his kitchen and sat at the table with his coffee, just the way he enjoyed it. black. rexford was not a man who enjoyed sweets, but he liked bitter stuff. what the fuck. was rexford even human, because most humans tended to like some sweet things, right. riGHT?
"lets see whats going on outside of MC" he said.
flipping through the pages of the newspaper he reached the "national affairs" page and started rreadding about Barack Obama. he was rexford's favorite Bara. hence his nickname, Barack Obara. rexford felt his cheeks flush and his heart flutter like a schoolgirl in love. he was such a nerd. rexford was. he was the big nerd.
"obama would never notice me... kyaaa" rexford cried. "i wish senpai would notice me... love me... fuck me." he continued. he had to stop and flip to the front page to get Upset (in the angry way) at his enemy. sometimes he thought of having Hate Sex with finn harami but how would he explain that to his beloved, Barack Obara.
"eh, wait" rexford realized something. "obama is married to michelle robinson. i must... take her down"" he said softly. he knew this could either make or break the Rexbama thing he already started, somehow. obama was totally in charge of rexford every day of his life because he was the president. to be honest, rexford schillers was not all gung-ho about Mayor Victon running for president but he knew Obara couldnt be the president forever. this made him sad, but as soon as Obara was out of the "presidential spotlight" he would be free to do whatever. it'd be so cool. Obara could just like, divorce michelle and be like "mmm nice" with rexford.
man, how good was it to be rich?! first off, you could buy any fucking thing you wanted. like, anything. even gold plated dildos. there was no Chill in being a RIch Fucker in these united states of america. rexford loved being rich but he had nobody to share his millions with (yet) so therefore he was unhappy. he actually had like, billions but he was liek "O.K." so B)