Oh, The Size of It
Prince of Tennis
Author: Ally [bjont
Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis belongs to Takeshi Konomi. I have no ownership over any of the original Prince of Tennis characters. If I did, they'd be playing a lot less tennis..
Summary: Complete crack. Echizen blushes, Tezuka laughs, and the Regulars are all envious of its massively impressive size.
--
"Echizen! I had no idea you could carry something of that size around!"
Echizen Ryoma flushed slightly. His senpais had barged into the club house rather unexpectedly, and he couldn't help but feel embarrassed in his current situation.
"Nya, ochibi! I'm shocked!"
"Saa.. Echizen, you have no idea how much I want that right now." Ryoma stumbled forward slightly, his feet caught in the various sweat-stained garments that cluttered the floor. Fuji's comment worried him slightly. He had heard from more than one person on more than one occasion that when it came to the tensai, anything he wanted soon became his.
"I've never seen one quite that size.. Ii data." Kaidou looked up at his senpai, his brows furrowed.
"Fshuu.. How many have you actually seen, Inui-senpai?" The data player looked furtive.
"It's rare to come across one of that size in Japan, Kaidou... Ah, have you measured it, Echizen?" The freshman shot Inui a disbelieving look.
"Hmm.. Echizen, even I have to admit that it is fairly appealing. However, you seem slightly embarrassed.. Should we leave you alone?" Oishi asked, tearing his eyes away from the spectacular length.
"Oishi!" Eiji leapt onto his doubles partner and clung to his neck. "Don't excuse us! I want it! It's so hot and.. Besides, I can't leave, I'm half naked, nya!" As if to make his point, Kikumaru hoisted himself over Oishi's head and landed in front of him, gesturing wildly at his bare chest. Oishi sighed. Ryoma glanced around at the determined looks on his senpai's faces nervously.
"You can't do this to your senpais, Echizen, you just can't!" Momo exclaimed. "You're putting us to shame!" There was a murmur of agreement among the Regulars. Ryoma slowly backed up until he felt his back press against the wall. His teammates began to advance, encircling him in a way that was a bit too menacing.
--
Tezuka Kunimitsu's hand had been poised above the club room doorknob for the past five minutes. His eyes were wide with shock, and there were beads of sweat lining his forehead. What he was going to find on the other side of the door, if he ever gathered the courage to open it, would surely be incredibly humiliating for both him and the apparent victim, Echizen Ryoma. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and pushed open the door.
"What is going on in here?" He was careful to keep his usual, stoic tone as he let his gaze fall upon the group of Seigaku Regulars. Suddenly, he dropped down onto the bench, removed his glasses, placed his head in his hands, and began shaking uncontrollably. The Regulars watched in horror as their captain trembled before them. Fuji carefully approached the buchou and lifted his face. Eiji gasped. Oishi stumbled backward. Momo and Kaidou both fell to the floor in shock. Ryoma choked. Kawamura's jaw hit the floor with a dull thud. Inui began scribbling data. Fuji ruffled the captain's hair.
"Tezuka, no wonder you're so stoic. You look completely spastic when you laugh."
Tezuka shook his head slightly, breathing deeply.
"It's just that.. Echizen, that is an incredibly large pickle."
-owari-
A/N: Hmm.. My first official post and it's crack. Ah well, hope you liked it. Reviews please.. Flames are fine, as long as they're constructive.