Why Saiyuki should not have handphones

Disclaimer: If I owned Saiyuki, Dr. Nii would climb out of the TV and do a striptease.

I think I'd rather not own it then…

Moi Musings: One-shot, but I may put up chapters. I know that back then handphones probably had yet to be invented, but ah well…

"I know! Let's all get HANDPHONES!" Goku piped. Hakkai laughed, Gojyo stared, and Sanzo humphed.

"Why handphones, saru?"

"Don't call me saru, dammit! So that we can keep in touch easier! Like, if we want Gojyo to come back to the inn, we just call him!"

"That's quite a good idea, Goku. But handphones are quite expensive."

"Is it okay, Sanzo? We can use your credit card."

"Hmph." Pause. "Whatever. It's not even my money."

Somewhere in heaven, Jiroushin (is that how you spell his name?) sneezed.

"Right! There's a village coming up. We'll buy the handphones there."

"I think I'll get a Nokia…"

A couple of hours later, the foursome emerged from the phone shop, each with his own new phone. Sanzo had a sleek, stylish black phone. It was already on silent mode. Gojyo had a flashy red one, with a built in camera (god knows what he's going to use it for). Hakkai's phone was quite similar to Sanzo's just that it was silver and it wasn't on silent mode. Yet. Goku had a blinding gold colored one and he had put the ring tone at maximum volume. Thus, with their new companions, the Sanzo-ikkou headed back to the inn where they were staying.

It was hardly an hour after they had gotten their phones, and all four men were silent, as they were still busy figuring out how to exactly "control" the phone. Except Sanzo. He didn't really care about his phone. He had only bought because if he didn't buy it Goku would breathe down his neck all day long about why he should have bought the phone.

He felt a vibration against his hand. His phone. He had already gotten a message. Fast eh? He opened it. It was from Gojyo. Probably wanted the credit card or something. He only talked to Sanzo if he needed something. That was usually a whack on the head with the almighty paper fan. Boy was Sanzo wrong.

The last bit of color drained from the monk's face. His mind screamed "OH MY (insert all possible swear words here) GOD!" (a/n: actually, I wanted to write HOLY MOLY but I didn't think that Sanzo would say something like that. ahahahahaha). There it was. Plainly, blatantly on the tiny screen of his new handphone.

"i love u."

Omigod. No one had ever told Sanzo that. And this was the first time ever. Worst of all, it was a guy who had said it to him. Sanzo almost passed out. All this while, he thought that Gojyo was straight. Holy cow. All those Gojyo fan girls wouldn't be too happy. Sanzo tried to think straight (pardon the pun), but it was a bit hard. You wouldn't be able to think properly either if you had just found out that your companion wasn't the straightest guy on earth. When Sanzo finally regained his composure (I salute you, Sanzo-sama. That must have taken a lot of will power, to be able to sit still without running out of the room screaming after your companion tells you he loves you), he noticed that there was more to the message. He scrolled down a little. It read:

"there is no need to freak out or think too much, coz I juz got the news dat if I say 'i love u' to 3 pigheaded pple, i'll have good luck 4 the rest of my life. hahahahahaha."

The next day, only Hakkai went to visit Gojyo at the hospital.

Hee. My teacher sent me the same message too...