word count: 1553
hope you enjoy!
it was a question I had worn on my lips for days - like a loose thread on my favourite sweater
I couldn't resist pulling - despite knowing it could all unravel around me.
I
She is red lipstick marks on white collars, nail polish remnants scratched onto paper, laughter equal to roaring thunder –
Axel kisses her. Hard. Because anything softer might make it that much easier for her to escape.
"Easy pal," she gasps, and her lightning bolt fingernails dig into his bare arm. "I ain't for love this early in the morning."
"Then when?" He swings an arm around her and pulls her in until she is against his chest, skin against skin, heartbeat against heartbeat. He breathes her in, and has a hard time keeping it in.
Larxene chuckles, and it is a raspy, throaty chuckle. She detaches herself from him but keeps a hand on his chest.
"Later," she pulls apart, smirking. "Later."
She rolls over and grabs her clothes and Axel props himself on his elbow, watching her pull her shirt over her head, her pants over her hips, her hair into a ponytail.
The six am sky casts a shadow over her and just before she departs, she says, "See ya, redhead."
Axel says goodbye as well, but it reaches only as far as the shutting door.
::
II
When she comes back, its sixteen hours and fifty-two minutes since he last saw her, and she smells of liquor and cologne (but not Axel's).
She lets herself in with the spare key above the door frame, and slips in as quietly as possible. But Axel is awake, alert, and is sipping tea at the desk next to the window.
"Any quieter, Larxene, and you might fool a mouse."
"Oh stuff it, Redhead."
Larxene throws off her top and shimmies out of her pants. Her hair now hangs in a loose ponytail and she wipes her lips with the back of her hand.
"Where'd you go?" Axel hopes he doesn't look like he cares.
"Friend's house." She answers as if it's a boring question.
Larxene comes over to him and wraps her arms around Axel's neck.
"You're so cute, Redhead," she bites his ear and he winces. "Worrying about me. What a pleasure it is."
Axel says nothing; his tea is colder than it was when she first walked in, and he wonders if this could mean anything at all.
::
III
She kisses him less, so he compensates with holding her back more than he should.
(Because he's scared she might leave and never come back.)
Larxene sits with her arms folded across her chest, and an annoyed look perplexing her features. Her makeup is fresh, testing, ready for something, and Axel has the smallest feeling she doesn't wear it for him.
"I'm not your pet, Axel," she huffs and begins to tap her foot. Her heel echoes in his apartment. "You can't keep me locked up in this dog-pen."
"Thanks for the reminder, Larx," Axel flicks his lighter and once his cigarette is lit, he takes the longest drag. "But I've realized you're the most humanist human a human can get."
"Then why am I here?"
"Because I love you."
Larxene stares at the ground near her tapping foot, and Axel closes his eyes and tries to drown in the smoke of his cigarette. But he's not going anywhere, and neither is she, so he opens his eyes.
"Do you love me?"
She stays quiet; her eyes move from the floor to the door beside Axel.
"Larx?"
"I don't know."
Axel presses his cigarette to his lips and Larxene slowly gets up. Her eyes are set on the door, but before she gets there, she lays her palm on his shoulder and says, "I'll see ya later, Redhead."
Minutes after she's gone, the ghost of her palm is still warm against his shoulder.
::
Iv
"I saw Larxene the other day."
Roxas has one hand around his coffee and the other around his phone; his sea-blue eyes are glued to Axel's.
"Where at?" He levels his voice, but his heart is ready to jump out of his heart.
"At Xigbar's party."
Roxas takes a sip of his coffee and Axel pulls out his cigarette and lighter. At least four people give Axel the stare, but he ignores them.
"She's at parties all the time," Axel waves his hand and slips the cigarette into his mouth. "Not a big deal."
"Are you sure?"
Roxas shows him a picture of something on his phone, and it is enough to stop Axel's hand mid-reach to light his cigarette.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
Axel sets down the lighter and his cigarette falls out of his mouth and lands on the desk with a silent thud. An annoyed huff fills the space around them.
"I'll see you, Roxas."
He quickly grabs his things and leaves the coffee shop.
::
v
She's laying on his bed when he gets back, and an aching feeling in his chest threatens to overtake him.
"I missed you quite a bit, Redhead," Larxene smirks. She pats the empty side of the bed, and motions for Axel.
"Because you haven't been here in a week," Axel responds. He opts for the chair beside the window, and Larxene doesn't take her eyes off of him. "Busy or bored?"
Larxene laughs off the question, and her voice echoes sparingly in his bare apartment. Sunlight picks at his skin and he feels the oncoming of a lump in his throat.
"Busy, actually," Larxene rolls over so her entire body is facing him. "But I made time to come see my favorite Redhead."
He has the urge to smoke, he thinks. Because when he breathes in too deeply, there is a cologne scent unfamiliar to him that travels the room and fills his lungs and mocks him and he can't stand it.
As he reaches to the desk for a cigarette, Larxene gets up from the bed, grabs her lighter, and pads her way over to him. She's still staring at him with those turquoise eyes, and he tries really hard not to look at her.
"What's wrong?" The lighter clicks twice before a flame replaces it, and she lights the cigarette in his mouth for him. "You don't seem happy to see me at all."
Axel moves his gaze from his cigarette to the space between them. Her fingers travel the veins of his neck and ghost the strands of his hair and Axel's head suddenly feels too heavy for his neck so it drops in her wrist.
"To you," he pauses to catch his words, and a burning feeling in his chest squeezes the breath out of him. "To you, do I mean anything at all?"
In her wrist he feels her muscles contract and release, and her fingers slide gradually from his neck to the bottom of his chin, where they stay. They are cold but soft, and Axel hates the feeling so much that he likes it.
"You're too serious, Redhead," Larxene puffs. "What is this all about?"
"You know," Axel's head settles in closer, and his hair tickles her arm. "I've loved you for a long time, Larx. You, and everything else I've accepted about you. And I know you aren't the type to settle on one person but I thought – I really thought things were different from back then."
The air around him thickens and suffocates him and he catches his cigarette as it falls out of his mouth with his free hand and holds it on the desk. Larxene's fingers stay where they're at and for the first few heartbeats, his words hang in the air.
Quietly, she sucks in breath through her teeth and releases it with a quick huff.
"You've always spoken nonsense, Axel, but I guess you've finally gone off the deep end, huh?"
She removes her arm from his head and resettles it by her side. Axel brings the cigarette back to his lips and closes his eyes and keeps it there for a long time.
When he opens them again, he says, with a painful chuckle, "I guess so."
Larxene stands over him like a shadow, blocking almost all traces of the sun on his skin.
She laughs, ruthlessly. "Think about it. I can never change, Redhead. You of all people should know that change is not a word I am familiar with."
When Axel doesn't respond, she continues.
"I don't fall in love. I never will. All that mushy crap has always given me the chills. And you've gotten your hopes up pretty high, Axel, now it's time to bring them back down. And anyways –"
She leans in and kisses him and her withdrawing footsteps attract his eyesight.
"I didn't come here to talk, even though I missed you. Aren't you coming?"
The bed dips under her weight and creaks as if it's crying. Axel eyes her and the bed and her again before he goes against the protest of every single cell in his body and kills his cigarette.
"Yeah," he says. His throat feels like it's about to cave in on itself and his chest feels heavy and despite himself, he stands. "I'm coming."
"do you love me?" I ask.
in your hesitation I found my answer.