Disclaimer: I don't own Pikachu, Lugia, Ho-oh, Gary, Ash, or any other pokemon characters that may be dragged into this insane fic. Which is good for them, but terrible for me…
Be careful what you wish for…
~Ch1~
(Ash is strolling along the edge of Olivine Beach, kicking up tufts of sand for no apparent reason at all. Oh yeah…Pikachu's there too, following blindly. Suddenly, by a freak stroke of luck, Ash somehow manages to unearth a silver bottle and sends it flying straight into Pikachu's head)
Ash: Whoops! ^-^;;
(Pikachu is unconscious, and therefore does not reply)
Ash: *guiltily* Well I didn't mean it…
(A nearby Shellder glares at him accusingly)
Ash: What???!! I didn't!!!!! *picks up bottle* What is this thing anyway? *reads label* Property of the Wise Trio. Do not uncork without permission. Especially if your name begins with 'Ash'…*thinks* Hmmm…Ash Ketchum…nope, no 'Ash's there. So I guess it's safe…*pulls out cork*
(There is a shower of blue sparks and a huge dragon-like pokemon thingy appears in a cloud of smoke)
Lugia: *flatly* Greetings master…I am Lugia, the guardian of the bottle…what's your-hang on…*looks at Ash closely* Hey…you're that Ketchum kid, aren't you??
Ash: Yeah…I'm Ash Ketchum.
Lugia: Ack!! Can't you read??!! *holds magnifying glass to label* Do. Not. Open. If. Your. Name. Is. Ash. Which part of that don't you understand??!!!
Ash: But I'm not Ash.
Lugia: But you just said that your name is Ash!!
Ash: *confused* I'm not Ash!!
Lugia: You ARE!!!
Ash: I'm NOT!!
Lugia: *sighs* Listen…your name is Ash Ketchum, right?
Ash: Yeah.
Lugia: THEN HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT YOUR NAME'S NOT ASH????!!!!!!!!!! *zaps him with Aeroblast*
Ash: @_@ It's not.
Lugia: Oh what's the use…just lemme grant you your three stupid wishes so that I can get outta here already.
Ash: I get three wishes??
Lugia: That's what I said.
Ash: No you didn't.
Lugia: Yes I did!
Ash: No you didn't!!
Lugia: Yes I DID!!!!
Ash: No you DIDN'T!!!!
Lugia: Are you deaf or something??!!
Ash: No I'm n-
Lugia: JUST MAKE THE *BEEPING* WISH ALREADY!!!!!! *mutters*stupidbrainlessloafofbread…
Ash: Okay okay…hmm…I wish that my Pikachu was stronger!
(A large 20000000000000tonne anvil falls from the sky and hits Pikachu smack-on)
Lugia: Done.
Ash: oO But that doesn't make him stronger!! It makes him flatter!!!
Lugia: Well, he will be stronger if he ever manages to lift it off ). Next wish!
Ash: I wish to be known as a pokemon master!!
(A large, neon-lit arrow sign appears with the words "Pokemon Master" written in big swirly letters)
Ash: O.O How will that make me known as a pokemon master?
Lugia: I know, the reader knows, the sky knows, the sea knows, the beach knows, that Shellder knows and the sign knows. Pretty popular, wouldn't you agree?
Ash: I guess…
Lugia: Well…last wish! Hurry up!
Ash: *suspiciously* Why are you so eager for me to make my last wish?
Lugia: Just…asking…
Ash: Okay then. I wish that Gary got turned into an…an Eevee!!
-Somewhere in Viridian City-
(Gary Oak is in the midst of a top-secret Rival Mission…)
Gary: Yeah…two hamburgers and a Coke…and throw in a couple of fries while you're at it.
(There is a POOF, and Gary turns into a cute n cuddly lil Eevee pup. Awwww…)
Gary: *inspecting paws* What the heck??!!! This has to be Ash's doing!!!! Grrrrr!! I'll get him!!!!!!!
(In a flash of light, the cute lil Eevee evolves into a great big Umbreon)
Gary: *gnashing teeth* All right!! Let's go!!!
-Back at the beach-
Ash: Didja do it?
Lugia: Uh-huh.
Ash: When can I see the effects D?
Lugia: *looks at watch* Oh…right about now…
(Gary the Umbreon bursts from a nearby bush, rings and teeth gleaming menacingly)
Gary: AAAAASSSH!!!!!!
Ash: Eep!!
Gary: *using Body Slam* You're going down Ketchum!!!
Ash: Ahhh! *tries to run away* Nooo!! *gets ploughed into* Owwww!!!!
Gary: Turn me into an Eevee, will ya??! *bites Ash. Hard* I'll show you!!! Grrrr! Woof! Woof!!
Ash: Owowowowowowwwwww!!!! Lugia!! Help meeeee!!!!!!
Lugia: ) Sure thing…
-On a road near the beach-
Tour guide: And to your right, you will see the luxurious sands of Olivine's world-renown beach. Note the white sands, crystal-clear waters-
Tourist#1: And the immensely violent spectacle involving a dragon, a dog and a weird-looking kid?
All: oO*turn to look*
-Back at the beach-
Gary: Over here!! I'm open!!!
(Lugia blasts Ash and he sails over to Gary the Umbreon, landing with a THUMP on the sand)
Gary: Super Umbreon Take Down Attack!!!
Ash: OOF!! Hey! That's not fair!! It's two against one!!!
Lugia: *thinks* Hmm…you're right…*whistles*
(Ho-oh appears)
Ho-oh: *evil grin*
Ash: o.O Now hang on a sec…
Ho-oh: *uses Fire Blast* Burn baby burn!!!!!!
Ash: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *runs around in circles* HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!!!!!!!!!!
Gary: DUH…*rolls eyes*
Lugia: *uses Hydro Pump and sends Ash flying into a coconut tree* HAHAHAHA!!! That'll teach you to open strange bottles!!! Especially mine!!!
Ho-oh: *notices 20000000000000tonne anvil* Hey…what's that?
Gary: Oh that's just Pikachu. He's been training real hard these days.
Ho-oh: Riiight…
(Officer Jenny drives up)
OJ: Excuse me, but who was responsible for the mistreatment of that poor pokemon? *gestures to Pikachu, who is being (violently)pulled out from under the anvil by two Machokes*
Ho-oh/Lugia/Gary: He did it!! *points to Ash*
Ash: @_@ Wha-??
OJ: Come with me young man. *handcuffs Ash* You have a lot of explaining to do.
Ash: What??!! It wasn't my fault!!! They did it!! Lugia made me make the wish!!!! It's a conspiracy, I tell you!!!! A conspiracy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lugia: Noo…Team Rocket is a conspiracy. We're merely insane pokemon with evil plans.
Ho-oh: Well said )…
Gary: I support that)…
Ash: *being dragged into Officer-Jenny-type car* NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
(And so, Ash is driven off to the police station while Lugia, Ho-oh and Gary stand and wave)
Gary: BYYYYE ASH!!!!!
Ho-oh: DON'T FORGET TO WRITE!!!!
Lugia: WE'LL MISS YOU!!!!
All: NOT!!!!!!! *laugh crazily*
-At Miltank's Burger Palace-
Lugia: Mmm…this is good…*chomps on fish burger*
Ho-oh: I agree…*shovels down wingful of popcorn*
Gary: *munching on Beefy Special* One thing though…
Lugia: What?
Gary: Can you change me back??
Lugia: Weeeeell…
-2 hrs, 21 flashes of light and 145 POOFs later-
(Gary has been changed into everything BUT well...Gary)
Gary (the milkshake): ………..
Ho-oh: I think he wants you to change him into something else.
Gary: *nod nod*
Lugia: Okay then…*glows purple*
(There is a loud POOFing noise and-lo and behold-Gary has been changed into a Jynx)
Gary: NO WAY IN HECK ARE YOU LEAVING ME LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!
Lugia: Oops^^ sorry…*glows purple again*
(There is a loud POOFing noise and Ash sits in Gary's place)
Gary: LUGIA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lugia: Sorry, sorry! *glows purple* I told you I stink at reversing psychic spells…
(POOF!! And-)
Gary: Oh this is just great…we're right back where we started!!!
Ho-oh: I'd just stay like that if I were you…it's a lot better than being a Jigglypuff of something…
Gary: FINE! *slouches back into seat*
Lugia: Aw…c'mon Gary…it's not that bad being a pokemon, y'know?
Gary: …
Lugia: At least you won't hafta worry about changing your socks anymore^^!
Gary: You're not helping!!
Ho-oh: At least you'll be able to Faint Attack your way into Ash's jail cell and beat him up without anyone knowing^^!!
Gary: ) *disappears*
(Ho-oh picks up his Coke. Screams can be heard in the distance)
Lugia: Pass the salt.
(Gary appears out of thin air and dusts off his paws)
Gary: ^_____________^ That was sooooooo fun!!
Ho-oh: Told ya.
(The sun sets on the horizon, Moltres does a tap dance, Ash is dreaming of flying Umbreons, Pikachu is in the process of being re-inflated, and the story basically ends)
Haha!! What can I say…I'm bored^^
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