A/N: You know the drill I don't own these characters, I just enjoy letting them have free reign of my brain from time to time. Obviously I've been on quite the little Rumbelle kick so just bear with me everyone. Hope you enjoy!
"Rumpelstiltskin what's going on?" Belle questioned, "This uh, this isn't like you."
"I have a ball to attend later and I'm a bit rusty," Rumpelstiltskin answered in his usual high-pitched voice. "Will you help me practice?"
"I… wasn't aware that I had any choices here."
"You do," he replied holding out his hand to her.
The beauty hesitated for a long moment completely baffled by his change of attitude. Generally, he was frightening and temperamental. The Dark One's mood swings were ridiculously easy to trigger and extremely dangerous for those on the receiving end. Yet something almost sweet had taken over him now. Here he was asking her to dance with him, giving her a choice. A memory tugged at her reminding the maid that she'd seen something akin to kindness in him before, but it was a fuzzy idea at best. Something within her knew the memory was real but she couldn't quite recall it. Somehow, she just knew that perhaps he wasn't a beast all the time.
Slowly Belle placed her hand in his and felt his fingers wrap around hers. To her amazement his skin was warm and his hands soft. She'd often wondered if his reptile-like skin was smooth and held any warmth or if it was as rough and cold blooded as his dealings. Giving him her other hand, she took a step towards the beast who held her captive. He pulled her closer and moved one hand to his shoulder and placed his now free hand on her waist. As they began moving in time to the music she couldn't help the smile that danced across her face.
They moved as one across the large dining room lost in the dance they were sharing. Rumpelstiltskin had obviously been lying about being rusty, because he moved with the grace and ease of someone well practiced. The room seemed to lighten a bit. The oppressive and terrifying air of the Dark Castle began to lessen while she found herself in the arms of its master.
"You're doing wonderfully Belle," the imp in question encouraged. Belle noted that his voice was much deeper now, more human than she'd ever heard it before. "There's just one more thing we need," he continued momentarily stepping away from her. With some confusion the young woman noted the slight disappointment she felt as Rumpelstiltskin pulled away from her. But soon that feeling was forgotten as magic swirled around her at a snap from the imp's fingers. Belle looked down and saw that she was now dressed in an immaculate golden dress quite similar to the one she'd worn the day they met. Only this one was far grander and complimented her every curve. It was gorgeous.
The imp chuckled as the magic did it's work and her hear fluttered at the sound. Another fuzzy memory of his laughter tugged at her, but she couldn't fully grasp this one either. She smiled down at the new dress before looking into Rumpelstiltskin's eyes. The beauty saw a deep longing flash through them that spoke of love, loss, fear, and rejection all at once. It was strange but oh so familiar. "What- what has come over you?" she asked a genuine smile gracing her lips.
"Maybe I'm tired of being a beast," Rumpelstiltskin answered his voice impish once more, yet kinder than she could ever remember it being. He gave a typical flourish of his hands that ended in him holding them out to her once again, "One more dance?"
Belle didn't hesitate this time. She placed her hands in his, moving back into rhythm with him. She smiled down at the ground before looking up at him once more. The imp had yet to take his eyes off her. After a few more steps he twirled her around several times. The largest grin she could remember shedding in a long while adorned her face. She was happy to see that it brought a smile to his as well. A smile which actually reached his eyes, completely changing his features. Belle found that she rather liked seeing him happy.
Her heart bounded against her chest as she reveled in his gentle touch. Leaning into him, the beauty noted that their bodies fit together rather nicely. Perhaps there was more to him than what everyone thought, perhaps he didn't have to be a beast. Once again, memories tugged at her. Whispers of laughter and happiness. Ghosts of sorrow and pain. However, the strongest feeling started in her heart and forced her stomach somewhere near the region of her throat. It couldn't be love, could it?
He looked down at her smiling warmly as they continued circling the room. "This place is looking nicer," he commented as he twirled her. Looking around she noticed that the walls had lost their dark tinting and the ever-present maliciousness that clung to the castle had dissipated. Light streamed in through the large open windows banishing all but the smallest bit of darkness from the room.
"What a shame you've lived here alone for so long," she said voicing a concern she'd harbored for a while. Regardless of her fear of the Dark One or the confusing feelings currently stirring in her chest, Belle had been concerned about the fact that, before her arrival, Rumpelstiltskin had this large castle completely to himself. He'd been alone in the dusty halls and cavernous rooms for who knew how long. She'd long expected that loneliness had been a driving factor in his decision to bring her here. Any man would be lonely in such a large and foreboding place.
He gave her a sad smile and pulled back from her, "I haven't always been alone," he hesitated for a moment before continuing. "There was a son."
Rumpelstiltskin stopped their dance and pulled away from her once more. This time with far more finality. Yet the ghost of his hands lingered on her, leaving her colder than before. He walked slowly to the table in the middle of the room and propped himself onto it. "A son?" She asked unable to bare his silence any longer. He turned back to face her, prompting her to continue her questions. "What happened?"
"He left," his voice cracked with emotion deep and husky and so completely devoid of the infamous imp. "He saw the darkness in my soul. I had the chance to change for him, but I was too frightened to stop it and, in the end… not even all my power could save him." The Dark One looked heartbroken in that moment, which was more than Belle could take. She moved over to the table and propped herself up as well. The young woman left enough space between them to keep him from feeling crowded, but something deep inside her soul urged her to shift closer to him. Before she could say anything, he asked shyly, "Can I tell you a story Belle?"
Unlike the many tales and warnings she'd heard as a child, in that moment, the Dark One looked so very human. Slightly taken aback by his sudden willingness to share a story most likely about himself, she nodded. She leaned back (and almost unconsciously closer to him) on the table and made herself comfortable while turning her body towards him.
The imp cleared his throat and began his tale. "My son is… was" he choked on the verb change, "the most important person in my life. I took on the mantle of the Dark One to save him and my actions ended up driving him away."
"Why did you become the Dark One," Belle asked curiously unable to contain her questions.
Rumpelstiltskin looked down at his hands, grief plastered across his face. "I was desperate to save my son from the first Ogres War. The Duke over our lands kept lowering the fighting age of conscription. At fourteen my boy was expected to fight monsters that made grown men quake with fear. I had to do something to save him. My boy was the only thing I had in my life. His mother had left us. I had no friends, no family, the only person who cared for me was about to be sacrificed to a war that seemed to never end. And I couldn't bear the thought that a child was meant to take on such certain death alone."
He stopped speaking for several long moments. Belle wondered if he would continue or if this was the end of his storytelling mood. It seemed as if he wanted to say so much more but simply couldn't bring himself to the task. Another memory ghosted by her and she decided to give him a little push. "How… how could your wife leave you and your son? It's, it's horrible."
"Women don't like to be married to cowards," he answered so softly she almost missed it.
Belle felt her heart break a little. "Rumple–"
"I was branded a coward when I left the front during my own time in the Ogre Wars," he revealed cutting her off. He refused to look at anything other than the hands he had folded in his lap. "I hobbled myself to get back to my newborn child and my wife because a seer told me I would die on the battlefield. When I came home my wife as well as the rest of the village couldn't stand the sight of me. Rightly so of course, but I got to be with my son. As terrified as I was of the war itself, I was more scared of leaving my son without a father. But in doing so I ascribed him to an even worse fate, being my son," he scoffed the last bit and trailed off.
"Perhaps it would have been better if I'd have just died then," she heard him mumble to himself.
Belle felt another chip in her heart as she glimpsed the very broken man hiding beneath the monster's facade. She couldn't for the life of her understand why Rumpelstiltskin had decided to share all of this with her, but she was immensely glad he had. Who knew how long he'd been walking around keeping all of this bottled up inside him. Slowly, unsure of what his response might be, she reached over and took one of his hands. He flinched ever so slightly at her contact and chanced a small startled glance at her face. "I'm sure that your son would disagree with that last bit," she assured him. "It sounds like you loved him a great deal. And love… love is one of the most important things in life."
Briefly, a sad but true smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he looked back down. He shrugged in response to her assertion, then continued his tale. "I raised him the best I could. We never had much but I… I did my best to take care of him. To make sure he knew he was loved. When they threatened to take him away from me, I knew that I'd do all in my limited power to save him. So, I gave up my soul to the darkness and became this," he indicated his impish features as he spoke.
"I ended the Ogre War and brought home all the other children. I saved my boy for a moment, but in the end, it didn't matter. He, um… saw what the darkness did to me. How it… how it changed me. He found a way to get rid of it for good. Found a place for us to go where we could go back to how things were before I became the Dark One. But when it came time to leave, I couldn't go through with it. I'd lived so long as a poor cowardly spinner. For the first time in my life people respected me, listened to me, couldn't hurt me or my boy. Didn't even dare to. I couldn't go back. And it was like something kept me anchored in the power. Reminding me of the nothing I was before, refusing to let me become that again. I chose power over my son."
A few tears slid down the Dark One's face and his voice grew heavy with untold years of grief. "Once he was gone, I spent centuries finding him. I dedicated myself to getting back to him and I promised that I'd love nothing and no one else until I apologized to the one person who had always loved me."
"I kept my promise for a few centuries, but then I met someone who changed everything. A woman named Cora. She was as clever as she was ambitious and her ambition…" he sneered as he spoke of the woman, "her ambition knew no bounds. But her darkness was the same as mine. I let myself believe that she could care for me as I cared for her." The imp let out a long sigh, "In the end she used me to make herself more powerful. I should have seen it coming... But I was a fool and I fell in love with her. Gave her my heart and she…"
Belle gave his hand a light squeeze realizing that he couldn't go on, "Rumple," the odd nickname slipped past her lips with a familiar ease, "I don't think falling for someone makes you a fool."
"I was fool for thinking she could love me," he answered simply. Belle felt yet another piece of her heart fracture as the man before bared his soul to her. "After Cora, I accepted that monsters didn't receive love. Cora drove that point home rather nicely. I realized my folly in loosing focus on finding my son. So, I, uh, rededicated myself and put all thoughts of love and happiness away."
"Then one day many years later, I was called to a new deal. The Ogres had returned yet again and were threatening a noble's lands. It was there that I met the most astonishing woman I'd ever seen. She was as beautiful as she was brave and as intelligent as she was kind. She sacrificed her happiness and her life so that her people could live. She went away with a terrible beast to save the lives of her friends, her family, and her people. It was the bravest thing I've ever seen."
Belle blushed deeply as his eyes wandered back to hers, admiration shining through them. She felt her cheeks flush and it was her turn to look down at her lap. Surprisingly though, she felt his finger lift her chin. "You may not remember the next bit, but I'm going to tell you exactly the kind of woman you are Belle." He fingers trailed a gentle caress across her face as he spoke.
"I don't understand," she said.
Confusion must have settled across her face because he elaborated at her words, "You see you've forgotten a few things. This place, here" he said gesturing at the castle that surrounded them. "It's not real, it's all in your mind." Seeing that his words weren't helping her Rumpelstiltskin carried on with his story. "You are the most amazing person I've ever met Belle, you bring out the goodness in others and create it when it's not there. Our story isn't the happiest of tales, I've hurt you more times than I care to admit. But you are the only person who has ever come back. And not just once," his smiled sadly at her, tears shining in his eyes. Memories tugged at her consistently now. The feelings she'd been having were stronger than ever, but she was still so very confused. Was Rumpelstiltskin saying what she thought he was?
"With my son gone, you're the only light I have left in my life and I keep screwing it up. Honestly, I tried so hard to be the man you wanted me to be, a man you could be proud of, but I've never deserved you. Never been good enough for you. And I never will be Belle." He looked down at their still intertwined hands. "But I love you with every piece of my heart, or what's left of it anyway and for once, I want to make certain that I do right by you."
Her heart soared at his admission. The awkward looks and subtle touches all added up and her hopes from the past months were finally being realized. But wait, that's not right, she thought to herself. I haven't been here for months, have I? Barely a few weeks. Her thoughts were beginning to jumble together as she tried to clear her mind. The more she fought for coherency the harder it became to obtain. "Why are you telling me all of this?" she asked.
He leaned in closer ever so slightly, "You're under a sleeping curse and I need to wake you."
She nodded thinking that that actually made a lot of sense for some reason. Then his words dawned on her, "Are we… are you my… true love?"
A strange anguish danced across his expression and despair shone from his eyes. "We were once upon a time. But now…," he just shrugged in the end.
"What do you mean?"
"I tried waking you outside of your dreams and it didn't work. Belle you are my true love and that's never going to change. I'd gladly have my heart broken over and over by you. But…"
"But…" she encouraged after a long pause where he didn't meet her eyes.
"But I don't think you feel the same anymore. It's my fault," Rumpelstiltskin added the last when her face fell. "I had to come into your dreams for a chance to talk to you. To try and wake you in here. And if nothing else… if nothing else I wanted to apologize. I'm not asking for forgiveness or anything like that," he amended quickly. "I just want you to know how sorry I am for all the heartache I've caused you. Even if this doesn't work I won't stop until I find a way. Morpheus will make a deal with me, I'm certain of that, but I wanted to talk to you first. To try this first," He gazed so intently into her eyes that she noticed the moment that his thoughts turned dark. "I'm going to wake you, but Belle I need you to know something before I do."
They were sitting so very close now. Despite her confusion, Belle couldn't help feeling content as she sat next to this strange man who'd so enraptured her. "You can tell me anything Rumple," she offered giving his hand another encouraging squeeze.
"Belle…" his voice broke over her name, "Belle I want to wake you, but I don't want to be with you once we leave here."
What little was left of her heart shattered. "What?" she asked unable to comprehend how quickly things had gone bad.
"All I've done since we met is hurt you," he conceded, "You deserve so much better than anything I can offer you. I'm going to wake you up and I'm going to take you home. Then you never have to see me again. I'll leave you alone because it's what's best for you. I've hindered you for far too many years and that's not fair to you. Loving me isn't fair and it's something I don't believe is truly possible. You can have the life you should have without an old monster lurking around."
With that he stood and moved in front of her. She had nothing to say in return to his heartfelt words. "I love you Belle," he said before leaning towards her. He stopped just before completing the action, uncertainty and fear clouding his features. Unable to take his hesitation any longer she met him in the middle.
It was a sweet, light kiss that spoke of much she didn't understand or couldn't remember. His lips were a soft whisper that felt so familiar she didn't want to stop. When he tried to pull away she threw her arms around his neck and pressed a hand to the back of his head, deepening the kiss and feeling him respond in kind. His kiss was full of that same desperation and longing she'd seen in his face, while hers was full of hope and the promise of more moments just like this.
Suddenly memories slammed into her, drowning her in recollections. She let out a gasp and pulled back from him. For the first time in so long she looked at him and drank in his presence. Here they were in the place where their love first bloomed. Here he was laying his heart once again at her feet hoping that she wouldn't trample it, knowing that she might, wholeheartedly believing that she would. "Rumple?" she stammered unsure what to feel as emotions warred inside her.
"Belle?" he gasped searching her face looking for recognition meaning that she was awake in this dream. She nodded in return, "Oh Belle," he repeated and pulled her into a tight embrace.
The beauty pushed him back from the embrace so that they were face to face once more. Hurt at what he must deem a rejection darted across his face, but she knew how to fix that. She pulled his lips back to hers and kissed him as she never had before. Passionately and desperately.
Then everything went dark.
She woke to find herself lying on a pyre of sorts in a strange stone room, her husband standing over her. "Rumple," she called hoarsely as she sat up quickly.
"Belle," he said her name like a prayer realizing that she was finally awake. He drew back from her as if terrified he'd taken too much liberty already. "I was so afraid you'd never wake up, that I'd never see you again."
But she collapsed against him, holding onto Rumpelstiltskin as if he were the only solid thing in the world. For a single beautiful moment, he wrapped his arms around her and she was able to pretend forget every heartache and stumbling stone that had led them here. "Rumple," she croaked after what seemed like forever. "What you said in there- "
"Is all true," he affirmed gently pushing her back and breaking contact with her. "I'll get you home. Then you and our child will never have to see me again. I can't impose my darkness on another child." His face was a steady mask of certainty, but she could see the anguish shining through.
"Where will you go?" she asked when all other questions escaped her.
"I can't leave Storybrooke," he shrugged. "Bae's there and… I can't leave him… I just can't. But you don't have to see me. I keep to myself quite nicely." Misery clouded his fake smile as he attempted to comfort her once more.
"And what if want to see you?" she asked slowly, taking his hand once more into her own. He shook his head unable to comprehend her meaning. "Rumple, our marriage breaking down wasn't just your fault."
"Belle, you don't have to –" the Dark One began.
"Yes, I do," she cut in. "You've never been that honest with me Rumple. Why not?"
He shook his head and looked down muttering, "It's hard. After Zelena… I… I didn't want you to think I was weak or that I, that I couldn't protect you. She could have said a word and you'd be dead by my hands." His voice went if possible even more quiet before he continued, "You deserve more than a broken old fool like me."
She didn't know how to respond, didn't know what to even think in response. She moved into him until their foreheads were touching. "I could never think that you're weak," she confided. "You're many things Rumpelstiltskin, but weak is not one of them."
A disbelieving breath left him. "You obviously don't know me as well as you think," he scoffed. The mask he carefully put on for everyone slowly resurfacing.
"Hey, hey, hey," she whispered pulling him back from the edge. "I know you better than anyone. You aren't weak Rumpelstiltskin, I'll stand by that. You're kinder and far braver than you think. But you are not weak." Rumpelstiltskin was silent at her acknowledgements. Belle could no longer deny just how much she cared for the complicated man in front of her. Her True Love, who'd just proven his love for her by waking her from a terrible curse.
Yet there was still so much heartbreak left between them. Perhaps here away from Storybrooke and its heroes and problems they could continue their honest conversation. "Is that why you took the darkness back?" she asked quietly.
Rumpelstiltskin remained quiet for a long while. "In part," he divulged quietly. "But also…"
"But also, what?" she prodded. When he merely shook his head, she tried again. "You've been so honest with me, please don't stop now."
"I wasn't enough," the former spinner admitted.
"What?"
"Even when my heart was pure, when I'd acted the part of the hero, I wasn't enough for you," her heart clenched painfully at his words, but he wasn't finished. "Without the power, I was back to where I started. Before long I would be back to the coward I've always been. And… and women don't like to be married to cowards."
There was that line again. Belle thought that she would love to find whoever it was who told him that and wring their neck. Though she imagined it was most likely his first wife who had driven that idea home. But had she been any better? Rumpelstiltskin was right. He had done everything she asked him to do, become the man she always knew he could, and still she'd rejected him. Certainly, she needed time to figure herself out, but could she blame him for running to the only thing that gave him any sense of purpose or consistency? Magic had never abandoned him.
Then in the Underworld she spent more time blaming him for his shortcomings, than helping him deal with them. Once again, her anger had clouded her judgement where he was concerned. She had belittled him like Milah and rejected him like Cora. She'd even used the dagger against him like Zelena. How was she any better than the others? Yes, he'd made mistakes, some rather large ones that they would need to address, but she had made mistakes too. They had let each other down repeatedly. Forgetting what it meant to fight for each other. Not anymore though.
"You are not a coward Rumpelstiltskin," she said placing a hand on either shoulder and forcing him to look her in the eye. "I'll gladly spend everyday of the rest of my life reminding you of that. I'm sorry Rumple, I just needed more time then. Maybe I should have said things differently or…
"Belle, I can't blame you for not wanting this anymore. I pushed you to it," the former spinner admitted hesitantly putting his hands on her waist.
"And I pushed you to desperation," Belle protested, "We've made quite the mess of things, haven't we?" He nodded in response. "But I think I'd like to try fixing it, if you would?"
Rumpelstiltskin marveled at the woman in his arms. Belle could tell that she'd floored him with her latest confession. The man in front of her seemed so unbreakable at times. He seemed to be focused on power and manipulation, unflappable and uncaring. But for the first time in too long, she'd once more seen the truly broken man all that pomp and circumstance covered up. Underneath the guise of the beast, he was still a lowly spinner scared of what the world might do to him.
Perhaps she'd been wrong trying to force him to relinquish his magic. She'd tried so hard to shape him into something he wasn't that she hadn't thought about what it might be doing to him psychologically. She'd been so excited when he asked her to marry him, so caught up in everything, that she hadn't given much thought to his mental state. After being resurrected, after Zelena, after losing his son. So much had happened in such a short time and sure they'd talked a little, but apparently not nearly enough. What other fears and insecurities had he been hiding behind his mask.
The masks she was supposed to see through.
He was still guilty of all the pain he'd caused her, but he believed he was the only one at fault for the downfall of their marriage. "We haven't put each other first. We've been pretending we're okay for too long. I don't know where we go from here but wherever that is, I want to be with you. I want you to be a part of our child's life."
"I want that too Belle, so, so much," he responded pulling her head onto his shoulder and rubbing his hand along her back.
"We have to be honest from here out. We can't keep things bottled up anymore." She felt him mumbling yes into her shoulder.
It wasn't going to be an easy or quick fix. It would take work, a lot of work. And one honest conversation didn't mean everything was okay. But now she knew what she wanted, who she wanted. She and Rumple could make this work. After all true love is always worth fighting for.
A/N: Thanks for reading! If you like what I do (or even if you don't), shoot me a review and let me know what you think. As always see you guys in the next story!