This is the diary of Shire Softwood (I don't own the other characters.
However Shire is all mine) this is entirely made up.
Shire meets Frodo and becomes a part of the fellowship.
*********************************************************************
DAY 1: Mr. Gandulf found me this morning and asked if I'd like to go on a trip with him to meet some friends of his. Of course I said yes I wasn't about to stay in this stuffy old room. We hitched the cart to Shadowfax (he is the most beautiful horse I've seen even better then Arwen's) and set off.
DAY 2: We've been riding for 2 days now I thought it'd just be a day trip. Its still fun all the same. We entered a land that had the same name as me. And Gandulf told me that this was where his friend Mr. Bilbo Baggins lives and we were to attend his eleventy first birthday party. I like parties.
DAY 3: I was asleep in the back of the cart when Frodo jumped on and said hello to Gandulf. I woke with a start I can tell you. Frodo was cute I had to give him that but he did seem a bit rude. After he left I dared ask Gandulf who he was. He told me that he was a hobbit like my self. Well I was shocked I didn't think there were Hobbits other then myself. We go to Mr. Bilbo's house and Gandulf told me to stay in the cart till he called.
Mr. Bilbo's Party: It was fun there was lots to eat and there were heaps of Hobbits. Mr. Frodo even asked me to dance after Gandulf introduced us. I think Frodo is cute. Part way through I left the dance and went into a tent on my own. I figured Frodo would follow and he did. I spat out a stupid story that I was all alone with no one. And he said that He would be my friend. I only did it cause I think he's Cute. Mr. Bilbo said his speech I thought it was really boring. I didn't mind as much cause I got to sit next to Frodo. And when Mr. Bilbo disappeared well that was a huge shock to everyone. Gandulf went somewhere and told Keep Frodo and me to try at the party. (I never did ask him why) but Frodo insisted on going home so went with him. Mr. Gandulf was there. He was mumbling something under his breath about rings and Rivendell. He said that he had to go and that Frodo was to keep the ring Secret and Safe. Then he left and I had to stay in the Shire with Frodo staying out of his sight for about a Year and a half. That type of thing dose strange things to a girl's intellectual ability.
Gandulf Returns: I think that weirdo Sam Wise is GAY he kept trying to hit on Frodo at the Pub. Tonight when Gandulf returned he sent me into the town to get some Ale. (Pfft, yeah like I was going to fall for that. I just hid in the bushes Instead). (I was walking along the road.) I heard the whole thing then Sam came and Gandulf heard me move. He caught Sam instead (Hehehe Sam's so stupid) then after Sam and Frodo left, Without saying Goodbye (how rude), I went back into the house Gandulf didn't even notice I had no Ale. I told him I heard most of what he said and Promised to keep Frodo safe all the way to Bree. Gandulf made me promise I'd not let him see me. Yeah like that as going to be hard.
DAY 1: Well they got to Bree safely enough but by gaining 2 extra Hobbits (Merry and Pippin). But the Prancing Pony is where it really broke out. Everything was fine till the complete moron of a Took pippin mentioned Frodo to a few of the bar Patrons. Frodo ran over to hush him but was pushed away causing him to fall backwards and toss the ring, which landed quite nicely on his finger, then Frodo went invisible. Joy of Joys a freaky ranger guy Known only as Strider Hobbit-knapped Frodo as soon as he reappeared. To make matters worse the Wraiths popped up and I had to Fight to get out of the damned Bar.
DAY 2: Ok looks like "Strider" is coming along for the ride. Of course he successfully managed to leave Frodo alone. With those stupid companions of his with a small fire. That of which Lured the wraiths to Frodo. And of course Sub-staunchly got Frodo stabbed by an Immortal blade. Strider came in handy for something he managed to find a Weed that would slow the Poisoning but they would still need to get him to Rivendell to be cured properly by master Elrond. Then of course Arwen being the wannabe hero she is turns up and takes Frodo. They get to a river and I figure it's about time I stepped in. (knowing Arwen like I do, she dose the Wrong chant as usual) So I fix things by giving those Wraiths a long awaited bath. (Of course Arwen thinks it's her doing). More un-acknowledged Credit. Then she doses the most stupid thing she puts him on the ground instead of taking him to Rivendell. I swear that girl has less sense then brains, and she calls herself an Elf.
Day 3: Frodo is still un-conscious and it's my Birthday but no one seems to know or care. I caught Merry and Pippin trying to raid Master Elrond's garden (will they ever learn). I sat by Frodo's bed for a while tonight. And watched over him for a while. He seems so peaceful. I examined the wound and reapplied a bandage. "Poor Frodo" he's so alone. Gandulf is going to be so mad I didn't help him more. "God I hate myself". He dreams of strange things (my conscious mind picks up on his dreams) such as the Shire and Even of Mordor even though neither He nor I have seen it I know it is Mordor. I can feel it.
DAY 4: Frodo is awake and up running around. "Thank god I was really worried" we were summoned to a council. Well actually Frodo and Gandulf were but I tagged along. I often go to their "secret" meetings and they don't seem to care. As I don't talk at all. Boy they were surprised when I chimed in and now I get to follow them all the way to Mordor "OH Joy". On the plus side it dose mean I may Finally be able to take out that "Brain dead Asshole" Boromir (and I'll be able to blame it on Orc's or a Wraith which-ever comes first) If I tried to count the number of times he's tried to hit on me it would take about a dozen of me to do the math.
DAY 5: It started fine apart from Sam the psycho insisting on Frodo walking with him. He is getting rather Annoying but on a plus side he could be useful yet. Boromir that fool he tried to teach Merry and Pippin how to fight with swords. Oh If only Merry aimed a little higher. So we get to a most comfortable spot on a nice hilltop then we have to hide. Turns out that the South route is being watched. Have to go over the mountain instead. It'll ruin my new boots. Oh well but all was not lost however Boromir nearly stole the ring again. Aragorn made him give it back. That just what we need another power hungry leader. *Sigh* well thanks to a large amount of Snow falling on me my Boots are ruined. I'll have to send the bill for new ones to Gandalf. Oh joy of joys we get to go through Moria now First monster I see is going to cop it bad. Poor Frodo it's just not his week first stabbed by a Wraith now a stupid Cave Troll. I blame Aragorn it's his fault the troll ended up with that huge spear if it hadn't been for Bilbo's Mithril Frodo would've been gone for good this time. Met the Belrog today. He got a hold of Gandalf. Great now who's going to pay for my new boots. Frodo is taking it real hard where as I am unfazed by the whole thing.
Lothlorien: Galadriel can't scare me but I can sense that she got to Frodo and Boromir seems worried. Serves him right to. Aragorn thinks his so big because he knows elfish. Pfft big deal I'm fluent. Fool Gimli hasn't said much but I know he fears her Sam is un fazed but is still weary Merry and Pippin well there just as stupid as ever there's Something different about Frodo I've been able to sense it since he returned from the trees I bet that she Elf witch thinks she's done a great deal. Please just because she didn't want the ring. I don't give a damn I'm here to protect Frodo.
*********************************************************************
DAY 1: Mr. Gandulf found me this morning and asked if I'd like to go on a trip with him to meet some friends of his. Of course I said yes I wasn't about to stay in this stuffy old room. We hitched the cart to Shadowfax (he is the most beautiful horse I've seen even better then Arwen's) and set off.
DAY 2: We've been riding for 2 days now I thought it'd just be a day trip. Its still fun all the same. We entered a land that had the same name as me. And Gandulf told me that this was where his friend Mr. Bilbo Baggins lives and we were to attend his eleventy first birthday party. I like parties.
DAY 3: I was asleep in the back of the cart when Frodo jumped on and said hello to Gandulf. I woke with a start I can tell you. Frodo was cute I had to give him that but he did seem a bit rude. After he left I dared ask Gandulf who he was. He told me that he was a hobbit like my self. Well I was shocked I didn't think there were Hobbits other then myself. We go to Mr. Bilbo's house and Gandulf told me to stay in the cart till he called.
Mr. Bilbo's Party: It was fun there was lots to eat and there were heaps of Hobbits. Mr. Frodo even asked me to dance after Gandulf introduced us. I think Frodo is cute. Part way through I left the dance and went into a tent on my own. I figured Frodo would follow and he did. I spat out a stupid story that I was all alone with no one. And he said that He would be my friend. I only did it cause I think he's Cute. Mr. Bilbo said his speech I thought it was really boring. I didn't mind as much cause I got to sit next to Frodo. And when Mr. Bilbo disappeared well that was a huge shock to everyone. Gandulf went somewhere and told Keep Frodo and me to try at the party. (I never did ask him why) but Frodo insisted on going home so went with him. Mr. Gandulf was there. He was mumbling something under his breath about rings and Rivendell. He said that he had to go and that Frodo was to keep the ring Secret and Safe. Then he left and I had to stay in the Shire with Frodo staying out of his sight for about a Year and a half. That type of thing dose strange things to a girl's intellectual ability.
Gandulf Returns: I think that weirdo Sam Wise is GAY he kept trying to hit on Frodo at the Pub. Tonight when Gandulf returned he sent me into the town to get some Ale. (Pfft, yeah like I was going to fall for that. I just hid in the bushes Instead). (I was walking along the road.) I heard the whole thing then Sam came and Gandulf heard me move. He caught Sam instead (Hehehe Sam's so stupid) then after Sam and Frodo left, Without saying Goodbye (how rude), I went back into the house Gandulf didn't even notice I had no Ale. I told him I heard most of what he said and Promised to keep Frodo safe all the way to Bree. Gandulf made me promise I'd not let him see me. Yeah like that as going to be hard.
DAY 1: Well they got to Bree safely enough but by gaining 2 extra Hobbits (Merry and Pippin). But the Prancing Pony is where it really broke out. Everything was fine till the complete moron of a Took pippin mentioned Frodo to a few of the bar Patrons. Frodo ran over to hush him but was pushed away causing him to fall backwards and toss the ring, which landed quite nicely on his finger, then Frodo went invisible. Joy of Joys a freaky ranger guy Known only as Strider Hobbit-knapped Frodo as soon as he reappeared. To make matters worse the Wraiths popped up and I had to Fight to get out of the damned Bar.
DAY 2: Ok looks like "Strider" is coming along for the ride. Of course he successfully managed to leave Frodo alone. With those stupid companions of his with a small fire. That of which Lured the wraiths to Frodo. And of course Sub-staunchly got Frodo stabbed by an Immortal blade. Strider came in handy for something he managed to find a Weed that would slow the Poisoning but they would still need to get him to Rivendell to be cured properly by master Elrond. Then of course Arwen being the wannabe hero she is turns up and takes Frodo. They get to a river and I figure it's about time I stepped in. (knowing Arwen like I do, she dose the Wrong chant as usual) So I fix things by giving those Wraiths a long awaited bath. (Of course Arwen thinks it's her doing). More un-acknowledged Credit. Then she doses the most stupid thing she puts him on the ground instead of taking him to Rivendell. I swear that girl has less sense then brains, and she calls herself an Elf.
Day 3: Frodo is still un-conscious and it's my Birthday but no one seems to know or care. I caught Merry and Pippin trying to raid Master Elrond's garden (will they ever learn). I sat by Frodo's bed for a while tonight. And watched over him for a while. He seems so peaceful. I examined the wound and reapplied a bandage. "Poor Frodo" he's so alone. Gandulf is going to be so mad I didn't help him more. "God I hate myself". He dreams of strange things (my conscious mind picks up on his dreams) such as the Shire and Even of Mordor even though neither He nor I have seen it I know it is Mordor. I can feel it.
DAY 4: Frodo is awake and up running around. "Thank god I was really worried" we were summoned to a council. Well actually Frodo and Gandulf were but I tagged along. I often go to their "secret" meetings and they don't seem to care. As I don't talk at all. Boy they were surprised when I chimed in and now I get to follow them all the way to Mordor "OH Joy". On the plus side it dose mean I may Finally be able to take out that "Brain dead Asshole" Boromir (and I'll be able to blame it on Orc's or a Wraith which-ever comes first) If I tried to count the number of times he's tried to hit on me it would take about a dozen of me to do the math.
DAY 5: It started fine apart from Sam the psycho insisting on Frodo walking with him. He is getting rather Annoying but on a plus side he could be useful yet. Boromir that fool he tried to teach Merry and Pippin how to fight with swords. Oh If only Merry aimed a little higher. So we get to a most comfortable spot on a nice hilltop then we have to hide. Turns out that the South route is being watched. Have to go over the mountain instead. It'll ruin my new boots. Oh well but all was not lost however Boromir nearly stole the ring again. Aragorn made him give it back. That just what we need another power hungry leader. *Sigh* well thanks to a large amount of Snow falling on me my Boots are ruined. I'll have to send the bill for new ones to Gandalf. Oh joy of joys we get to go through Moria now First monster I see is going to cop it bad. Poor Frodo it's just not his week first stabbed by a Wraith now a stupid Cave Troll. I blame Aragorn it's his fault the troll ended up with that huge spear if it hadn't been for Bilbo's Mithril Frodo would've been gone for good this time. Met the Belrog today. He got a hold of Gandalf. Great now who's going to pay for my new boots. Frodo is taking it real hard where as I am unfazed by the whole thing.
Lothlorien: Galadriel can't scare me but I can sense that she got to Frodo and Boromir seems worried. Serves him right to. Aragorn thinks his so big because he knows elfish. Pfft big deal I'm fluent. Fool Gimli hasn't said much but I know he fears her Sam is un fazed but is still weary Merry and Pippin well there just as stupid as ever there's Something different about Frodo I've been able to sense it since he returned from the trees I bet that she Elf witch thinks she's done a great deal. Please just because she didn't want the ring. I don't give a damn I'm here to protect Frodo.