Little of Your Time
Chapter One - Weak Links
Taub's heart was still beating hard in his chest, having left the morgue as swiftly as he could. Anger flamed through his veins, along with the bitter feeling of being had, tricked, fooled. A flush had made its way across his cheeks, though it might have also had something to do with the younger doctor noisily putting away his own things on the other side of the room.
Seeing someone come back to life was startling, but the fact that he had clung to Kutner like a frightened child was almost as bad. He zipped his bag up quickly, almost catching his finger, and turned around to leave, only to be stopped in his tracks. Kutner was standing in front of him, loosely bundled in winter clothing, a hand rubbing absently at his neck.
"Um, about earlier..." he mumbled, his voice just barely audible. He looked thoroughly embarrassed. Taub didn't blame him. "I..."
Taub exhaled loudly, watching as Kutner stumbled for words. It wasn't his fault; in fact, if he were to blame anyone, it would be him. Offering the younger doctor a sympathetic look, Taub held up his hand to quiet him. Kutner's eyes shone with relief.
"Look, Kutner, don't worry about it." You can't think of anything to say because it was my fault. "I... It was my fault, really." It wasn't exactly the most pleasant thing to admit to jumping onto a co-worker in surprise; it wasn't really pleasant admitting to jumping him, period. "I'm sorry. For, um, jumping onto you like that."
He could see the taller doctor sigh silently, his chest deflating, "I don't blame you, man. It scared the crap out of me as well." He shouldered his bag as Kutner's expression shifted into something smug, "Besides, I am taller than you, so I must be like, some sort of guardian figure to you or something."
Taub scowled at the remark about his height, but it wasn't anything new, so he left it be. Kutner tipped his head at him, motioning towards the door, and they fell into step together as they made their way down the hall.
I think it's a fair trade for my... Taub shook his head as Kutner pressed the button to the elevator, bouncing on the balls of his feet. From the corner of his eye, he could see Cuddy leaving House's office, her mouth pressed into a frustrated, thin line. If he leaned a little to the left, he could see the image of the blonde woman from earlier talking to his boss, standing a little too close.
The sound of the elevator tore his attention away, just as sharply clicking heels became too loud. He exchanged a glance with Kutner, receiving a questioning look.
"The "patient" from earlier was in House's office," Taub stated, watching Kutner nod from the edge of his vision. He refused to stare at him directly in the small space of the elevator, feeling somewhat antsy as they descended level by level. He did steal a glance at the taller doctor and saw him staring at the changing numbers at the top of the doors and released a breath he didn't know he was holding.
With another cheery ding, the elevator doors opened. The two doctors stepped out simultaneously, the cool air of the ground floor making him shiver. Taub dug his hands deeper into his pockets while Kutner wrapped his scarf around his neck.
They passed the nurses' station silently. Kutner held the door open for him, muttering, "god, it's really fucking cold" under his breath as he passed.
"Yeah, it is," Taub murmured in reply. He glared at the warm vapor of breath that escaped his lips.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Kutner called out as he headed to the road, sending him a quick goodbye wave along with a smile. Taub nodded, holding a hand up in response.
I'll see you.
There was no case the next day, so Taub was stuck with clinic duty. He was as annoyed as House was, but even more so because he couldn't dodge Cuddy as well as he could without any serious consequences.
Lunch was a relief. Taub walked alongside Kutner into the cafeteria, listening to some offhand remark about an excited woman and her husband when she found out that she was pregnant. He didn't really care that she had been wanting a kid for a long time, but nodded politely as he piled a sandwich onto his tray, along with a glass of water and a pudding cup. Kutner continued with his story, and he was so focused on not focusing that he didn't even notice that Kutner hadn't paid for his meal. Wow, I didn't think that sandwiches cost so much here... Maybe I should just go out for lunch... Then I maybe could get away from that god forsaken clinic a little longer...
He followed Kutner to a table, allowing Kutner to continue to babble on about clinic patients, including cute children and the occasional idiot. Taub had already unwrapped half of his sandwich when Kutner finally caught his full attention.
"You free later?" Kutner asked, holding his own sandwich, staring at him expectantly. His eyes were wide and hopeful, though his food was hovering close to his mouth uncertainly as if trying to hide his expression.
Taub put down his food and brought his eyebrows together in confusion, deciding to go with a smart reply. "You're not asking me out on a date, are you? I'm married, you know."
Kutner's expression went flat, saying "that hasn't stopped you before, has it" and Taub realized that that particular comeback isn't as witty as it used to be. The look was gone in a moment as Kutner rolled his eyes, replying, "No, of course not. I just..." He paused, trying to find the right way to word whatever it was he wanted to request. "You know. Thought we could hang out or something."
The younger doctor took a bite of his sandwich, averting his eyes. He looked almost embarrassed now, discouraged by Taub's sarcasm. Taub's lips tugged downwards, unfamiliar with the downcast expression on his co-worker's face. He wasn't entirely sure how to respond; he didn't want to say no to him, especially when he looked so... upset about it, but he didn't really think that they would enjoy spending time with each other.
You say this, and yet you have lunch with him everyday.
Taub inwardly scowled at the rational voice in his head. Oh shut up.
His face reflected his uncertainty as he lifted his hands, attempting to find a way to voice his opinion without sounding too cruel.
Why bother? I thought you were supposed to be the guy who doesn't care what other people think, the voice piped up, resembling something close to the voice of his wife Rachel.
I... don't, Taub thought to himself, twisting his mouth in frustration. It's just.. Look at him. He looks like a kicked puppy.
You just keep telling yourself that. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Warn him about what? The thought escaped his mind when he glanced at the man sitting across from him and saw Kutner's eyes immediately flash downward when his attention was focused on him. Taub smiled faintly, amused by the fact that he had probably been staring at him.
"I... Didn't think we had much in common," Taub stated, inwardly wincing at how clear his reluctance was. He shoved his sandwich into his mouth to prevent him from saying anything else similarly stupid.
Kutner seemed eager to argue his point. "And yet here we are, having lunch like we always do. Don't forget that we always talk to each other during cases, as well."
Taub's mouth opened and closed as he tried to find a legitimate argument to his statement. "That's... Just small talk, Kutner." Another glance across the table urged him to speak faster, "Besides, why are you so inclined to convince me to spend more time with you?"
Kutner's expression looked deflated as he took another slow, defeated bite out of his half-finished sandwich. After swallowing, he muttered, "I just figured that friends hang out with each other, you know...?" He put down his food to look him in the eye once more and added, "But if you don't want to..."
"I..." He wants to hang out as friends...? Taub thought to himself, a ghost of a smile gracing his lips, "No, Kutner, I would, um, love to."
The look on Kutner's face told him that he didn't believe him.
"Honestly," Taub continued, giving him a small smile. "I would like to get away from the hospital for once, and I'm sure I can afford time away from home."
In a flash Kutner was all smiles, grinning widely from ear to ear. His eyes shone excitedly under the cafeteria lights, seeming to illuminate his whole face. Taub felt a little proud to be the one who provoked such a blinding smile.
"It's settled, then," the younger doctor stated, a satisfied look settling in his bright, brown eyes. "You can come to my place today, if you want."
Taub laughed faintly, the situation feeling similar to the ritual of asking someone out. "It's a little soon for that, isn't it? How about Friday?"
Kutner's demeanor faltered, but his recovery was one to be commended as he nodded, that smile hovering on his lips. "Sure. I don't think I have plans for that day."
"Alright then. It's a-" Taub cut himself off. He grinned nonetheless, knowing he was about to say "date". "I'll see you then."
Holding up the remainder of his sandwich in a sort of toast, Kutner winked at him. It wasn't that hard to pick up on his slip anyway, so Taub shrugged off the playful gesture and held up the rest of his lunch in return.
Hey hey would you look at that, I finally finished the first chapter of this thing. God. It's been sitting on my computer for only-god-knows how long. Anyway, I'm just glad to be writing these two again- I'm doing a canon review for Kutner so I can RP him somewhere, and I thought it would be good practice to write some fic with him. So. Expect lots of fluff from this one.
'Til next chapter! Hope you enjoyed.