A Christmas Jori Plus Two
Disclaimer: Victorious and its characters are the property of Schneider's Bakery and Nickelodeon. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. No profit is intended or wanted for this story.
Summary: The kids, both adult and youngsters, have a fun Christmas.
Note: Sort of a sequel to The L Word but it's not necessary to have read that beforehand as I believe this is relatively self-contained.
Christmas Eve...
Tori was putting the finishing touches on the candied yams she made for the family Christmas dinner at her parents' house the next day. Just as she scattered the last of the mini-marshmallows across the orange tubers, the timer chimed.
"Perfect timing," she said to herself. The woman who created a nearly-living blob of pizza dough was actually very proficient in the kitchen. She quickly pulled out the two trays of cookies – one of homemade chocolate chip and the other homemade peanut butter cookies. Then the casserole dish with the yams and marshmallows went into the hot oven chamber. Cooking them today would mean just a warmup on Christmas as well as letting the yams absorb more of the seasonings.
She reset the timer and walked into the family room, dropping onto the couch. The singer was tired but it was a good tired, like after a concert. The satisfied weariness of a job well-done and people who were, or in this case, will be happy with the end result. Admittedly, cooking and straightening up the house was less tiring than performing. Slightly.
Glancing at the clock, she smiled. Almost three hours. Should be home soon.
As if on cue, the door opened and two little girls came screaming into the house, "Mommy! We saw Santa!"
"Yeah! Sanny Caus! Yay!"
Tori laughed as she scooped up her girls, "Did you both tell him what you want for Christmas?"
"Uh-huh!" Katrina replied.
"I tol' him I wanted a Cullee Cathy and a teddy and real live yooneecore!" Val announced. Internally, Tori translated that to a Cuddle-Me Cathy, a teddy bear and a unicorn.
"Were you girls good?"
"They were brats!" Jade said as she followed their daughters into the house.
"Jadelyn! My granddaughters were angels!" Valerie West declared, following her daughter into the house. "If anyone was a brat it was this one!"
"Mom!"
Before any of the adults could say anything, there was a yelling match from the kitchen. "Val! Don't eat that!"
"OW! Hot! Mommee!"
Jade and Valerie both had a look of alarm but Tori just shook her head – this was old hat to the singer. She had to deal with Val's first burn when Jade was on location a couple of years ago. Even as she raced into the kitchen to comfort her littlest girl, she muttered, "Should've put the cookies out of reach of little hands…"
As Tori ministered to the stricken child, Jade shuddered, recalling a hot platter of quesadillas back in high school. Still, she swallowed and followed Tori, being there for their little girl as she wept and was tended to.
"Sorry Mommy, I tried to stop her…"
"Ssh, Val. It's not your fault," Jade said, rubbing their older girl's back reassuringly.
Soon enough, the burn (a very mild burn that didn't even count as a first degree injury) was treated with the spray-on burn liniment they kept in the kitchen for just such an occurrence. The spray eased her pain almost immediately. Tori put a band-aid, featuring one of the current hot toons, to the injured fingertip.
Valeria stood in the door and smiled, "You two are naturals. I can't believe only a few years ago you were both nervous as kittens about having children."
"Oh, and I suppose you were Ms. Cool, Calm and Collected before I came along?" Jade replied.
"Yep! Cool as a cucumber!"
"I call bullsh…"
"JADE!"
"I call bull-hockey!" Jade restated, smirking at her wife.
"Ask your father, dear," Valerie said.
"He was probably a robot like he was when I was little," Jade scoffed.
"Au contraire, mes filles. He was like some sitcom father-to-be. He was boiling water as soon as I told him. I barely kept him from tearing up one of our sheets. Then he was running around, moving sharp objects away and generally being a total buffoon. It was so sweet!"
Tori giggled even when Jade glared. "Just like you Jade, when I was on tour that time. Katarina cut herself when she broke that cheap vase. She told me you held her and cooed in her ear after you fixed her boo-boo."
"Shut it! Never…"
"Speak of it again," Tori and Valerie continued in unison.
Later, as Valerie got ready to leave, Katarina said, "Nana, you said you'd tell us a story!"
"Sorry, sweetie. I have to get home to your grandpa before he spikes the egg nog too much."
"Why would he put a spike in the egg nog?" the girl asked.
"Tell you later," the elder West replied.
"Much, much later. Like college-later," Tori whispered to her wife.
Jade countered with, "Better make it high school…"
Tori nodded, recalling some Northridge parties.
"I promise I'll tell you a story when you come over for the party later."
"YAY!" Both girls cried.
Kissing both her granddaughters then her girls goodbye, Val left for home.
"I'm gonna get the Tiny Terrors in the bath," Jade announced.
"Okay, I'm finishing the cookies for your parents' party and the casseroles for Mom and Dad's dinner tomorrow."
Katarina made a face, "Eew, that green beanie thing?"
"Quiet, munchkin," Jade warned. "Or you won't get any of the candied yam casserole either."
"NO! MOMMY?!"
"She's definitely Jade's daughter," Tori smiled as she measured out the French-fried onions to mix with the cocktail onions and the green beans in the cream of mushroom sauce. Checking the recipe, she grabbed some pepper and spices as well.
Soon, that was in the oven, the yams in the fridge long before Val left. Her kitchen tasks done for now, Tori went upstairs to find her little darlings napping. Jade was just putting down How The Grinch Stole Christmas and smiled at them. This was a smile rarely seen by their old friends until the past couple of years. She normally reserved it for her girlfriend, now wife, and more recently for their daughters too.
Seeing Tori, she whispered, "They'll be out for a couple of hours. Wanna…?"
The wiggling eyebrows caused Tori to giggle even as she felt a sudden rush of desire for the sexy filmmaker. "I've got an hour before the casserole needs to come out. Wanna share a shower?"
In minutes, the women were washing and loving each other. More of the latter, truth be told. This went on and on with stifled cries and moans until the water started to cool.
Jade swore, "Dammit! We have to get a bigger hot water heater next year!"
Tori got dressed for the party but Jade kept a robe on over her underwear, knowing she still had to contend with a two year old and a four year old.
On the drive over to her parents' home, Jade said, "If it's not too late, and you both behave yourselves, we might watch a movie when we get home."
"YAY!" came the double cry from the backseat.
"Jade, no Black Christmas, no Silent Night, Deadly Night, no Krampus, no Tales From the Crypt with the psycho Santa, no…"
"Alright, alright! I get it. How 'bout R.E.D. or the first two Die Hard movies?"
"No. They're too little, Jade. And R.E.D.?"
"Yeah, like the Die Hard movies, it's during Christmas. The kill squad even blows away Bruce Willis' Christmas decorations."
"Oh. Yeah… Well, no. How 'bout A Charlie Brown Christmas or Frostie The Snow Man?"
"Ye-ech!"
"Ja-ade…" Tori sighed, "Okay what about the Grinch?"
"The Boris Karloff one, not that lame movie."
"Agreed!"
At the West home, they were greeted with a spectacle of lights. "Garish doesn't mean a lot to Jim West…"
"Hush, I think it looks festive!" Tori argued.
"Mommy, is this like Santa's home?" Katarina asked.
"No, his place is much colder up at the North Pole but I bet he does have it decorated like this. All the time."
"Ugh!" Jade grunted.
Inside, the place was equally festive. "Looks like a Hallmark movie threw up in here!"
Val came up, "There're my favorite gals! Jim, take their coats."
"Gra'pa!"
Jim West quickly picked up his younger granddaughter, "Hi Val! How's my angel? Oh, did you get a boo-boo?"
Jade whispered to Tori, "Boo-boo? When did he get soft?"
"Shush, I think it's sweet."
Meanwhile, Jim West was holding both his granddaughters, laughing like old St. Nick himself.
"Tori, those cookies look great. Here, come with me and we'll put them with the other food."
In the dining room, half the table was covered with plates of veggies and dip, trays of cocktail franks in barbecue sauce, small meatballs in sauce, small dinner rolls, rolled up deli ham, diced and sliced cheeses, Chex party mix and two pumpkin pies and two pecan pies. The other end of the table was more sparsely covered with plates, napkins and utensils.
The two platters of home-made cookies joined the pies and Val led Tori to the kitchen. She eagerly asked, "Did you get it?"
Tori smiled, "Yep! A 2.5 carat blood-red diamond. It's mounted in a heart-shaped locket surrounded by small black diamonds."
"She'll love it." Tori beamed. "Oh, and I know my daughter. If she starts acting weird, just remind her that she's already given you the best gift…"
"Her love and her trust. And our babies."
"Exactly," Valerie replied, hugging and kissing her daughter-in-law. "C'mon. Let's party."
As they walked back out of the kitchen, Valeria warned, "I wasn't home in time and James really spiked the egg nog. It's definitely got a kick. And the rum balls the Shapiros brought are practically swimming in rum."
Tori laughed. "What about the kids?"
"Plenty of un-doctored egg nog for them."
Jade saw them and called, "Vega! You gotta try these rum balls! Robbie outdid himself!"
Seeing the mug of egg nog in her hand and the slight glaze in Jade's eyes, Tori asked, "How many of these have you had?"
"Oh, six or ten or… I don't know."
"And the egg nog?"
"Uh… Two? Maybe three?"
"Already? Jeez…" With a sigh, Tori said, "I'm driving home."
"No chizz!"
Valerie chuckled and said, "She's your responsibility now."
"Thanks so much," Tori replied in a deadpan tone.
Val turned to her daughter, "Hey, boozehound."
"Ye-es?"
"Did you get it?"
"Wha…?"
Tori grabbed the mug and the half-eaten rum ball. "No more!"
"Oh! Meanie!" Tori laughed, thinking of the times Cat said that about Jade.
In a terse tone, Val added, "Did you get it? The present?"
"Oh! Yeah! That's right… Yeah, I got it."
"What? What did you get? Is it for me? Don't tell me! No, tell me! No, wait…"
"Vega! Shut up!" Jade interrupted, using Tori's line. Then she looked around to see the girls with both their grandfathers across the room. "I got the unicorn!"
"What? How? They don't exist. Do they? Where did you…"
"Tori, dear, please let Jade tell us."
"Yeah, or to be more rude, shut up!"
"But Tori's got a point. Did you travel to Loompahland?" Holly asked as she joined the little group.
"Ha-ha! No, the animatronics team at the Jein Group made it for me. It's state of the art robotics inside a small horse body with those irritatingly bright unicorn colors. The horn even lights up and changes color.
"I'll give her a note from Santa that he couldn't bring her a real one since they can't live away from their magic island. Probably call it Honolee."
Holly and Val shared a look as Holly mimed smoking a joint.
"Wow! Jade, she'll love it!"
"I know."
"Daughter o'mine, I'm proud of you."
"Who's the Jein Group?" Holly asked.
"Greg Jein's new operation. Just started it last year and has already expanded beyond minis to robotics and even some CGI."
Valerie asked, "Who's Greg Jein?"
"He's been making miniatures for movies and TV since the '70s. He was nominated for Oscars for Close Encounters and 1941. Worked on a bunch of the Trek movies and shows. Started with something called Flesh Gordon back in '75 or '76."
Valerie said, "Actually, it came out in 1974. It was a porn parody of the old Flash Gordon serials."
Jade eyed her mother suspiciously, "And how do you know this?"
"Your grandfather had a VHS of it when I was in high school. A bunch of us got together to watch it one night when Mom and Dad were out. It was a hoot!"
"Oh my God… My mother watches porn…"
Even as Val laughed, Holly asked, "Doesn't everybody?"
"MOM?!" Tori cried.
"Well, it is one of the biggest entertainment industries in the country…" Val noted.
Jade went into the kitchen to make coffee on her parents' Kuerig. As Val came in, she asked, "Checking up on me?"
"Actually no. I was getting some more unspiked egg nog for your girls." Val paused and, thinking of the pendant Tori bought, asked, "Can I ask what you got for your wife?"
"You can ask…"
"Jade…"
"Alright. Remember when we took that trip to Yellowstone before Valerie was born? We stopped in Jackson on the way back. Driving around Jackson Hole, we were both taken with the view of the Tetons. I found a print of Ansel Adams' picture of the Tetons with the Snake River curling across the plain in front of the range."
"Nice. I think I know which picture. From the time we all went to the Adams exhibition at the museum."
Jade nodded then smiled as she revealed her secret, "Yeah, but this is signed by Adams himself!"
"Oh Jade! She'll love it!"
"She better. It cost a fortune!"
Later, Andre started to play around on the grand piano. Soon Tori came over and started to sing along with his playing. Tori had him play three Christmas songs that she sang along to before they took a break.
After wetting their whistles and getting something to nosh on, Tori spoke to Cat and Jade. They both nodded.
Andre started to play his old school project and the girls started to sing and dance, like they had in the Hollywood Arts main hall. Tori's sole regret was Jade wasn't wearing that ultra-short skirt that practically showed off her ass.
Later, Tori finished singing Santa Claus Is Coming To Town for all the children. Jade smiled at the voice of her own angel, proud of her wife and the woman's career.
Then, when Tori rejoined the adults, Jade stated, "He knows when you're sleeping? He knows when you're awake? He knows if you've been bad or good? Santa isn't a jolly elf, he's the freaking NSA!"
Glancing at the man with short, curly hair who had his arm around Cat's old roommate Sam, Tori shook her head, "Reading Sinjn's conspiracy blog again, Jade?"
"Just because he's not a real boy doesn't mean he doesn't see what's going on..."
"Hey West!"
"Yeah Puckett?"
"Stop picking on my man!"
"And if I don't?"
"We'll hack your studio's CGI software and…"
"Aah, you guys are no fun!" Jade slipped her scissors back into her boot.
The girls cheered when the Grinch's heart grew six times bigger and joined the Whos in Whoville. And they laughed at the antics of the Peanuts gang from the other classic holiday special. But, for them, all too soon, the Charlie Brown gang finished singing around the little tree and the classic special ended.
"Time for bed!"
"But'm not tiwed," Katarina declared even as she yawned widely.
"You have to be in bed or Santa won't bring you presents…"
With a huff, their younger daughter let her sister lead her upstairs. Tori motioned for Jade to get comfortable as she headed up to get them ready for bed.
She started The Night Before Christmas and read it through to the end. Then she whisper-sang The Christmas Song, made famous years ago by the late Nat King Cole.
As the two youngsters fell asleep, Tori turned to see her wife with a smile on her face and tear in her eye.
"I hate that song, it always gets to me! I forbade Mom from playing it when I was a kid," Jade whispered, wiping at her eyes. "But you sang it beautifully."
In each hand was a stemmed glass, each had white zinfandel. Tori took the one proffered to her. They each leaned over to kiss their babies good night. Then they went downstairs to sit on the loveseat near the fireplace. From that perch, they could see the fire, their beautiful tree and the lights of LA below.
"I love you Tori!"
"I love you too, Jade!"
Christmas Morning...
The next morning, two Tiny Terrors burst into the big bedroom. "IT'S CHRISTMAS!" and "CRISSMISS!"
Jade, never the best in the morning, growled, "It'll be your last if you don't quiet down!"
"C'mere, Munchkins," Tori said, her arms out. The two fell into their mother's hug then found themselves as the middle of a loving sandwich of mothers. Tori smiled at her love who scowled back.
"'Kay! You two go get washed up. I'll make coffee and get some egg nog for you."
"Better make the coffee strong," Jade growled again. "Two sugars!"
"I know what to do!"
As the little ones raced to the bathroom, Tori asked, "What'd you get me for Christmas? Huh?"
"You'll see…"
"Aw, c'mon! It's Christmas. I'm allowed…"
"Don't get your tinsel in a tangle, Vega."
So, I leave it there for you to picture your own Jori Christmas morning. And I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday - regardless of which celebration you enjoy.