Teenage Crush
Based on the song "San Dimas High School Football rules" by The Ataris.
Author Note: Oh God I wish I owned Gundam Wing! That would be so totally awesome! But guess what... I don't. The wonderful people at Bandai, TV Ashai, and Sunrise have all the rights to it.
Story Note: This story marks a lot of firsts for me. It's my first song based fiction along with my first story told in the first person and in the present tense. I sure hope I did a good job. ^.^ This story is more proof that I need a boyfriend (My sister is starting a fund to pay a guy to date me. Please donate your money to this noble cause! [Oh God I hope he's like Quatre!]). Lol. Don't worry like always it's NOT a lemon or anything near even PG-13
/Last night I had a dream.../
The sun pours in though the window, bathing my room in a golden glow. The birds outside my window are singing, telling me that it's time to wake up. I sit up, refreshed and full of energy.
I look at the person next to me in my bed. A soft smile graces her sleeping face. Wisps of indigo hair fall over her closed eyes and lightly touch her soft cheeks. Her body rises and falls with each deep breath.
I carefully try not to wake her, being as quiet as I possibly can be. I throw the blankets off of my body as I rise. Knelling over the bed I pull the blankets over her bare shoulders.
It's funny how much the birds sound like ringing bells this morning.
/...Today I woke up alone. Wishing you were here with me.../
I turn off my alarm, and sit up in bed my hand clutching the side of my head. I try to shake away the dream I just had. At the same time though, I desperately try to grasp on to every detail.
This is the fourth day in a row I've had a dream about her. Each dream has been more realistic, more enchanting. Each dream leaves me more intoxicated with joy. Each dream only deepens my sorrow.
I turn my head, just as I thought. The pillow isn't pressed down by the presence of a head. No one is there. It was all just a dream.
Throwing back my blankets I walk knowingly across my still dark room to my bathroom. I turn the faucets in the shower. The bathroom quickly fills with steam.
In the shower I let the hot water beat against my bare chest and run down my body. I just stand there, eyes closed, going though my dream again in my mind.
/...We went to Disneyland and went on all the rides.../
I haven't been to Disneyland since I was a young boy. It was just as I remembered it. I didn't remember the long lines or the bad food, being a child I only remembered all the rides and having the time of my life. That was how the dream was as well.
Come to think of it, there were no lines because we were the only one there. It was just her and me. We ran on to every ride, laughing the whole time.
I took her home later that night. Neither one of us was ready to say good night though. We went up to her roof and watched the stars. I held her in my arms keeping her warm against the cold night air. She was close enough for me to hear every heart beat, feel every rhythmic breath she took.
She yawned so I asked her if she wanted to go to sleep.
"It's to early to go to sleep Quatre." She said, "Come on lets go have some fun."
She stood and pulled me back to her window. We ran down her stairs and to my car. She was right, it was far too early to let this night end.
I took her to a bar. It was the only place I knew would still be open. We sat at table until late into the night. We drank some but laughed more. Both of us were wishing that the night would never end.
/...That night was too good to be true.../
After getting ready for work I walk down the right side of my mansion's double staircase. I'm glad it's casual Friday today. The one day in the week I can wear my favorite khakis and dress shirt instead of a suit.
It doesn't surprise me to see Duo sitting in my kitchen, eating my food. Duo travels a lot with his business. Whenever he's on this colony he stops by, with out warning, and hang out here.
The kitchen is filled with the light of the rising sun. Birds are singing to each other from the trees. The cloudless sky is a good omen for a beautiful day. Then why don't I feel better? A shiver goes up my spine, the morning is just like what I dreamt it to be.
Duo looks up from his newspaper. Without needing to be told he slides the news and business section over to where I sit. "Good morning." He says cheerfully.
"Hey Duo." I mumble, pouring myself a cup of coffee. I help myself to the left over scrambled eggs Duo made.
Duo's expression changes to a sad, questioning look, "What's wrong Quatre?"
"Nothing. I'm just tired I guess." I lie. My dream has left me depressed. It is a reminder that I can't have her. No mater how hard I try. No mater how much I care for her. I can never hold her in my arms and call her my own.
"You look depressed."
"It's been a stressful week at work, that's all."
Duo's satisfied with this. He goes back to reading the paper. We are both silent for a few minutes. Finally Duo speaks up.
/...Today you called me up.../
"Oh yeah Noin called this morning to see if you are going to the party tomorrow."
My heart skips a beat. She called my house? I can't help but think of her voice on the other end of my phone.
"So..."
"Hum?" I say. I am in euphoria thinking about Noin.
"Are you going to the party?"
"What party?" I am having trouble thinking of anything besides her.
Duo's getting frustrated, "Relena's eighteenth birthday party!"
His raised voice snaps me back to reality. I've completely forgotten about her birthday party, "Of course I'm going."
"Are you sure you are alright man? You are starting to freak me out."
"Duo I'm fine." I reassure.
Duo isn't buying it. I have to get the focus off myself, "How are you getting to earth for the party?"
Duo shrugs.
It's not very hard to read Duo's mind, "Want to come with me on my shuttle?"
"Sure." Duo tries to act like he didn't know the proposition was coming.
I glance down at my watch. I stand and grab my suitcase, "I have to go to work now, I'm leaving the office early and flying there this afternoon. I'll call you when I'm on the way to the space port."
"You know where I'll be."
Yes, I know where. After Duo delivers whatever cargo he's on the colony to deliver, if he hasn't already, he will just chill at my place watching DVDs on my 'personal kick ass movie theater'. That is what he calls the new home theater I got a few months ago.
I walk by the 57 inch TV at the same time that Duo has found the remote.
/...but now I'm stuck debating if I even want to go.../
Duo and I are shown into Relena's home by her butler. We're dressed in our very best like everyone else there.
I've gotten no sleep the night before. Along with Duo I declined Relena's offer that we stay the night at her place instead of at a hotel. I imagine Duo declined because he wanted to see what the night life was like around here. I was only afraid that I would see Noin there.
Why am I acting this way? I want to see Noin don't I? I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling all night long thinking about weather I want to go to the party. Zechs is there no doubt. Is that what I'm afraid of? No, that is only part of it. I can't seem to put my finger on it.
We make our way though the crowded room looking for Relena. I see her in the middle of the room. She is talking with some people, I recognize all of them. The group is in a circle.
Miss. Dorothy is standing next to Relena. Trowa and Catharine are also there. Wu Fei is standing between to Trowa and Sally, I bet that she made him come along. Heero isn't in the group.
I look around the room for him, wondering if Relena was actually able to persuade him to come. Ah there he is he is leaning up against a wall. Some girl is talking too him, it doesn't look like he is paying much attention though.
We are still a ways away from the group. They haven't seen us yet. Duo turns to me. He puts his finger to his lips and winks.
I watch him scamper off. I can only imagine what he has instore. I don't see Duo again until he is behind Miss. Relena. So that is the big idea.
Duo scoops up Relena. He twirls her around in the air. "Happy birthday!" He says excitedly.
Relena didn't expect this. She yelps when she is lifted off the ground. Her fear turns into joy when she relizes who it is. "Duo!" She laughs, "Put me down this instant."
"As you wish." Duo sets her back down.
She turns around and faces Duo; "It's so good to see you again Duo. I'm so pleased that you could make it to my party."
Duo looks around, as I am coming up on them, "Quatre's here too. There he is! Hurry up Quatre!"
I can't help but smile at Duo's antics. I take Relena's hand, "Happy Birthday Miss. Relena. Thank you so much for inviting me."
Relena smiles, "Oh Quatre this isn't the time for formalities." She holds out her arms. How can I decline? We join in a warm embrace.
Duo and I join the circle as well as the conversation. The conversation is on the safe subject of travel. With the mesh of soldiers and pacifists in the circle it's best to stay off subjects such as politics and business.
Duo's quite pleased with the subject, he has plenty of travel stories. He starts into one that he promises has a great ending.
/...just dump your boyfriend and go out with me.../
I try to pay attention, but it's no use. My eyes wonder as I scan the room for Noin. My eyes find her sitting on a couch next to Zechs. They are speaking to each other. Their hands are at their sides. My mind starts to run free. Although I can't see their hands, to me they are intertwining their fingers playfully as they speak.
I can only imagine what they are saying. Is their talk as playful as their hands? My mind fills with possible scenarios. My scenarios range from how nice the weather is too weather Relena will notice if they slip away from the party.
My jealousy is overwhelming and unstoppable. I can feel it oozing out though my pores. What does he have that I don't? I make more money then he does, I'm a better strategist, I'm far more caring then he is. My list continues. Laughter snaps me back to reality.
Duo has reached the end of his story. I missed the whole thing. It obviously had quite an ending though. He elbows me repeatedly. I force a smile. I can tell they aren't buying it though.
"Are you feeling alright Quatre?" Dorothy asks.
"Yeah, I'm just going to go get some fresh air. Please excuse me."
As I walk away I can hear their conversation as it fades, blending with the other sounds of the party.
"He's been acting sort of weird all weekend." Duo says.
"He seems preoccupied, you have any idea what is troubling him?"
I don't hear the answer to Sally's question. I hope that Duo relays my excuse of a stressful week.
/...Nothing can go wrong any time that I'm with you.../
Leaning up against the porch railing I look out vacantly over the courtyard. My mind can't get off her. I replay every moment we have had together. I remember the first time we met.
/...I only wish that this could be.../
It was when she was on the Sank Kingdom's emperial guard. I was taking refuge in the city, posing as a student. Our backgrounds as soldiers and our common goals made friendship easy. In the Sank Kingdom I felt as if she was the only one I could talk to. She was the only one who could relate to what I had gone though. Sure there was Heero there as well, but talking to Noin was different. She had a strong belief that peace would come soon, something that Heero didn't have.
Back then I was young and foolish. Back then I thought I had a chance. I didn't know about Zechs during that time. I never told her how I felt though, the time and circumstances never seemed right.
Later I learned about her connection to our enemy Zechs. I was angry with her. Her optimism, that I once loved so much, I now hated. She was so determined to change Zechs that she risked her life for it.
I couldn't stand to see her like that. So full of hope, and yet with so much sorrow. I did my best to protect her in battle, to make her see that she should drop her crusade and focus on the more important issues. She didn't back down though. She chose Zechs over her own beliefs.
After that I was no longer sure how I felt about her. I was at the extremes of both ends of the spectrum. In one sense I hated her for choosing him. I hated that she threw away all that she had been fighting for over the past months for him. At the same time I loved her all the more for the uncompromising stand she made.
/...please understand that what I say is true.../
"If only I had told her." I say out loud, thinking that only I will hear.
"If only you told who what?"
I flinch slightly at the unexpected sound. Dorothy leans up against the rail beside me. I look over her, and she stares back. Her eyes are asking for my answer.
I break the stare, "Miss. Dorothy would you mind giving me some time to myself?"
"Nonsense, I'm involved now. Please tell me who you are talking about Quatre."
"It's none of your concern."
"Oh please, you must. I can't just leave now with out knowing. If it's a secret I promise not to tell."
I turn away from her persistent eyes. I'm facing the house now. The couch that Noin and Zechs are sitting on is near one of the windows. I focus my eyes on her.
Dorothy breaks my concentration, "Ah, so that is our mystery woman."
I face her again, "What are you talking about?"
She points at Noin, "I would have to be crazy not too see it. You like Noin don't you?"
My cheeks flush, I can't stop them. I look away, hoping that Dorothy hasn't seem them. It's too late, she has.
"I knew it." Dorothy seems pleased that she was able to figure it out. Her voice changes to a more solemn tone, "You know she's with Mr. Millardo though."
"Why else would I be out here?"
"Oh Quatre." She way she says this makes it sound like I just told her that someone I knew died.
I look at Dorothy, making sure she understands the urgency of my plea, "Please, I beg you, don't tell anyone."
She stands straight, "Don't worry yourself," she walks towards the porch door. She turns to me once more, "I won't tell a sole. I hope that you re-join the party soon."
I continue to lean against the rail after Dorothy has left. I stare out over the expansive labyrinth of gardens and walk ways.
A little over fifteen minutes have passed. Finally I decide to go in. The longer I'm out here the more people will suspect that something is wrong.
The house is overflowing with music. Happy couples dance to the live orchestra. I easily slip in unnoticed. I take an empty place against a wall and watch them as they step and twirl.
I watch the happy couples go by. I smile when Relena and Heero waltz a long. Is it just my imagination? No Heero is allowing his self to smile, which is pleasing Relena. Soon though they are out of view.
After a few more minutes I am bored by the monotony of the dancers. I look around at my fellow singles. I scan the few men and number of women who line the walls either refusing to dance, or waiting for someone to ask them.
Out of those two options I can tell that Wu Fei is in the first group. He is leaning up against the wall a few people down from me. His arms are crossed as he looks away to the side. It's almost as if he is pouting. I remember seeing Sally dancing with an anonymous male, she obviously isn't letting Wu Fei's attitude ruin her night.
I look around at the girls, wondering if I should give it a go. Many of them are beautiful in their flowing gowns and done up hair. And yet, I feel nothing for them, and I don't have any erg to get to know any of them. I catch different movement on the dance floor out of the corner of my eye.
I look over in time to see Dorothy step out of the crowd and walk over to me. She leans up against the section of wall next to me, "I'm glad you decided to re-join the party."
"I couldn't stay out there all night."
"Ask me to dance."
"Excuse me?"
"You want to convince everyone that you are alright, correct? And the best way to do that is to look like you are enjoying yourself."
Dorothy is a sly girl. She most likely has something up her sleeve, yet her logic is very true. If I refuse the dance, I will always wonder what she had in mind. I do the most reasonable thing I can do: I extend my hand, "May I have this dance?"
She places her hand delicately in mind, "Don't mind if I do."
We dance gracefully around the room. Dorothy is doing a very good job of acting like she isn't looking around.
"Who are you looking for?"
"Noin and Millardo are around her somewhere."
My face shows my astonishment, "You wouldn't."
"There they are now."
"No, please don't." I can't believe that she is doing this. This is the last time I let Dorothy and my curiosity get the best of me. The time before this I ended up impaled with a sword. That was nothing compared to this though.
Before I can stop her she slips away from me. With a firm grip she grabs my hand and pulls me reluctantly along.
"Miss. Noin, care if I dance with Mr. Millardo?"
Noin glances at me, then back at Dorothy, "Certainly not Miss. Dorothy. Quatre, care to dance?"
I nearly freeze. Luckily I am able to find my voice and keep it from faltering. "I would be honored."
Dorothy winks at me as she takes Zechs' hand.
/...I listened to your heartbeat as I held you in my arms.../
"I haven't seen you around much tonight." She says after we have been dancing for a few moments. I am glad that she is the one to start the conversation; I was having trouble thinking of anything to say.
"I've been around."
"I wanted to talk to you about something."
My heartbeat quickens. She knows. "Dorothy told you didn't she?"
"Told me what?"
My heart beats even harder. I can't believe I just did that.
She can see my distress, "Quatre, told me what?"
"Nothing. I...I...I need to go." I slip out of her arms.
I decide not to go outside. I need to sooth my mind. I leave the dance hall. The music fades as I enter the parlor. I see what I'm searching for, a grand piano in the far corner.
I start to play a concerto on the keys. I can feel all my emotions flow from my mind and my heart into my fingers. I close my eyes, focusing all my being on my fingers. I finish the short piece, my hands drop from the keys. Clapping alters my thought.
In the doorway is Noin. She walks towards me as she claps, "That was beautiful Quatre."
I look away from her dazzling eyes, "Why aren't you dancing with everyone else?"
"I would be, but my partner doesn't seem to want to."
"Maybe something is on his mind."
"Maybe he should talk about it to someone."
"Perhaps that person wouldn't understand."
She sits down on the bench next to me, "Maybe that person should humor me."
I quickly stand and go to the window. She follows, but keeps her distance. "Quatre, please tell me what is wrong. Maybe I can help."
/...I just want you to know I have a major crush on you.../
"But... you're the problem."
"Excuse me?"
"It's the way the light reflects off your hair, and how your eyes sparkle when you laugh. It's how you believe anything is possible, and never give up. It's your sincerity, your courage, your undying loyalty." I face her, "It's how you always want to help, and how I can't stop thinking about you."
She's silent. This is what I feared. Is she thinking of the best way of telling me how that is sweet but she has a boyfriend?
"I'll understand if you don't want to be friends any more." I say quietly.
"That's not it at all." She walks over to me. Her hand runs though my hair and back around until she is holding my face with her soft hand. "I don't see a problem."
"What? What about Zechs?"
She smiles, "I honestly don't know why everyone thinks we are going out. We are best friends, that's all."
"Best friends? That means..."
"That there is no problem."
The joy is overflowing though me. I smile broadly, "Would you like to go out some time?"
"I would be honored." Our fingers intertwine, "Come on now, we don't want to miss the festivities."
We walk about into the dance hall still holding hands. Dorothy looks at us and smiles. Zechs nods in approval. I'm not upset with Dorothy for telling him, I'm actually relieved that I'm not the one to tell him, and even more relieved that he approves.
Our first dance as a couple is the highlight of the night.
/...I swear I'd treat you like a queen.../
/a queen/
Based on the song "San Dimas High School Football rules" by The Ataris.
Author Note: Oh God I wish I owned Gundam Wing! That would be so totally awesome! But guess what... I don't. The wonderful people at Bandai, TV Ashai, and Sunrise have all the rights to it.
Story Note: This story marks a lot of firsts for me. It's my first song based fiction along with my first story told in the first person and in the present tense. I sure hope I did a good job. ^.^ This story is more proof that I need a boyfriend (My sister is starting a fund to pay a guy to date me. Please donate your money to this noble cause! [Oh God I hope he's like Quatre!]). Lol. Don't worry like always it's NOT a lemon or anything near even PG-13
/Last night I had a dream.../
The sun pours in though the window, bathing my room in a golden glow. The birds outside my window are singing, telling me that it's time to wake up. I sit up, refreshed and full of energy.
I look at the person next to me in my bed. A soft smile graces her sleeping face. Wisps of indigo hair fall over her closed eyes and lightly touch her soft cheeks. Her body rises and falls with each deep breath.
I carefully try not to wake her, being as quiet as I possibly can be. I throw the blankets off of my body as I rise. Knelling over the bed I pull the blankets over her bare shoulders.
It's funny how much the birds sound like ringing bells this morning.
/...Today I woke up alone. Wishing you were here with me.../
I turn off my alarm, and sit up in bed my hand clutching the side of my head. I try to shake away the dream I just had. At the same time though, I desperately try to grasp on to every detail.
This is the fourth day in a row I've had a dream about her. Each dream has been more realistic, more enchanting. Each dream leaves me more intoxicated with joy. Each dream only deepens my sorrow.
I turn my head, just as I thought. The pillow isn't pressed down by the presence of a head. No one is there. It was all just a dream.
Throwing back my blankets I walk knowingly across my still dark room to my bathroom. I turn the faucets in the shower. The bathroom quickly fills with steam.
In the shower I let the hot water beat against my bare chest and run down my body. I just stand there, eyes closed, going though my dream again in my mind.
/...We went to Disneyland and went on all the rides.../
I haven't been to Disneyland since I was a young boy. It was just as I remembered it. I didn't remember the long lines or the bad food, being a child I only remembered all the rides and having the time of my life. That was how the dream was as well.
Come to think of it, there were no lines because we were the only one there. It was just her and me. We ran on to every ride, laughing the whole time.
I took her home later that night. Neither one of us was ready to say good night though. We went up to her roof and watched the stars. I held her in my arms keeping her warm against the cold night air. She was close enough for me to hear every heart beat, feel every rhythmic breath she took.
She yawned so I asked her if she wanted to go to sleep.
"It's to early to go to sleep Quatre." She said, "Come on lets go have some fun."
She stood and pulled me back to her window. We ran down her stairs and to my car. She was right, it was far too early to let this night end.
I took her to a bar. It was the only place I knew would still be open. We sat at table until late into the night. We drank some but laughed more. Both of us were wishing that the night would never end.
/...That night was too good to be true.../
After getting ready for work I walk down the right side of my mansion's double staircase. I'm glad it's casual Friday today. The one day in the week I can wear my favorite khakis and dress shirt instead of a suit.
It doesn't surprise me to see Duo sitting in my kitchen, eating my food. Duo travels a lot with his business. Whenever he's on this colony he stops by, with out warning, and hang out here.
The kitchen is filled with the light of the rising sun. Birds are singing to each other from the trees. The cloudless sky is a good omen for a beautiful day. Then why don't I feel better? A shiver goes up my spine, the morning is just like what I dreamt it to be.
Duo looks up from his newspaper. Without needing to be told he slides the news and business section over to where I sit. "Good morning." He says cheerfully.
"Hey Duo." I mumble, pouring myself a cup of coffee. I help myself to the left over scrambled eggs Duo made.
Duo's expression changes to a sad, questioning look, "What's wrong Quatre?"
"Nothing. I'm just tired I guess." I lie. My dream has left me depressed. It is a reminder that I can't have her. No mater how hard I try. No mater how much I care for her. I can never hold her in my arms and call her my own.
"You look depressed."
"It's been a stressful week at work, that's all."
Duo's satisfied with this. He goes back to reading the paper. We are both silent for a few minutes. Finally Duo speaks up.
/...Today you called me up.../
"Oh yeah Noin called this morning to see if you are going to the party tomorrow."
My heart skips a beat. She called my house? I can't help but think of her voice on the other end of my phone.
"So..."
"Hum?" I say. I am in euphoria thinking about Noin.
"Are you going to the party?"
"What party?" I am having trouble thinking of anything besides her.
Duo's getting frustrated, "Relena's eighteenth birthday party!"
His raised voice snaps me back to reality. I've completely forgotten about her birthday party, "Of course I'm going."
"Are you sure you are alright man? You are starting to freak me out."
"Duo I'm fine." I reassure.
Duo isn't buying it. I have to get the focus off myself, "How are you getting to earth for the party?"
Duo shrugs.
It's not very hard to read Duo's mind, "Want to come with me on my shuttle?"
"Sure." Duo tries to act like he didn't know the proposition was coming.
I glance down at my watch. I stand and grab my suitcase, "I have to go to work now, I'm leaving the office early and flying there this afternoon. I'll call you when I'm on the way to the space port."
"You know where I'll be."
Yes, I know where. After Duo delivers whatever cargo he's on the colony to deliver, if he hasn't already, he will just chill at my place watching DVDs on my 'personal kick ass movie theater'. That is what he calls the new home theater I got a few months ago.
I walk by the 57 inch TV at the same time that Duo has found the remote.
/...but now I'm stuck debating if I even want to go.../
Duo and I are shown into Relena's home by her butler. We're dressed in our very best like everyone else there.
I've gotten no sleep the night before. Along with Duo I declined Relena's offer that we stay the night at her place instead of at a hotel. I imagine Duo declined because he wanted to see what the night life was like around here. I was only afraid that I would see Noin there.
Why am I acting this way? I want to see Noin don't I? I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling all night long thinking about weather I want to go to the party. Zechs is there no doubt. Is that what I'm afraid of? No, that is only part of it. I can't seem to put my finger on it.
We make our way though the crowded room looking for Relena. I see her in the middle of the room. She is talking with some people, I recognize all of them. The group is in a circle.
Miss. Dorothy is standing next to Relena. Trowa and Catharine are also there. Wu Fei is standing between to Trowa and Sally, I bet that she made him come along. Heero isn't in the group.
I look around the room for him, wondering if Relena was actually able to persuade him to come. Ah there he is he is leaning up against a wall. Some girl is talking too him, it doesn't look like he is paying much attention though.
We are still a ways away from the group. They haven't seen us yet. Duo turns to me. He puts his finger to his lips and winks.
I watch him scamper off. I can only imagine what he has instore. I don't see Duo again until he is behind Miss. Relena. So that is the big idea.
Duo scoops up Relena. He twirls her around in the air. "Happy birthday!" He says excitedly.
Relena didn't expect this. She yelps when she is lifted off the ground. Her fear turns into joy when she relizes who it is. "Duo!" She laughs, "Put me down this instant."
"As you wish." Duo sets her back down.
She turns around and faces Duo; "It's so good to see you again Duo. I'm so pleased that you could make it to my party."
Duo looks around, as I am coming up on them, "Quatre's here too. There he is! Hurry up Quatre!"
I can't help but smile at Duo's antics. I take Relena's hand, "Happy Birthday Miss. Relena. Thank you so much for inviting me."
Relena smiles, "Oh Quatre this isn't the time for formalities." She holds out her arms. How can I decline? We join in a warm embrace.
Duo and I join the circle as well as the conversation. The conversation is on the safe subject of travel. With the mesh of soldiers and pacifists in the circle it's best to stay off subjects such as politics and business.
Duo's quite pleased with the subject, he has plenty of travel stories. He starts into one that he promises has a great ending.
/...just dump your boyfriend and go out with me.../
I try to pay attention, but it's no use. My eyes wonder as I scan the room for Noin. My eyes find her sitting on a couch next to Zechs. They are speaking to each other. Their hands are at their sides. My mind starts to run free. Although I can't see their hands, to me they are intertwining their fingers playfully as they speak.
I can only imagine what they are saying. Is their talk as playful as their hands? My mind fills with possible scenarios. My scenarios range from how nice the weather is too weather Relena will notice if they slip away from the party.
My jealousy is overwhelming and unstoppable. I can feel it oozing out though my pores. What does he have that I don't? I make more money then he does, I'm a better strategist, I'm far more caring then he is. My list continues. Laughter snaps me back to reality.
Duo has reached the end of his story. I missed the whole thing. It obviously had quite an ending though. He elbows me repeatedly. I force a smile. I can tell they aren't buying it though.
"Are you feeling alright Quatre?" Dorothy asks.
"Yeah, I'm just going to go get some fresh air. Please excuse me."
As I walk away I can hear their conversation as it fades, blending with the other sounds of the party.
"He's been acting sort of weird all weekend." Duo says.
"He seems preoccupied, you have any idea what is troubling him?"
I don't hear the answer to Sally's question. I hope that Duo relays my excuse of a stressful week.
/...Nothing can go wrong any time that I'm with you.../
Leaning up against the porch railing I look out vacantly over the courtyard. My mind can't get off her. I replay every moment we have had together. I remember the first time we met.
/...I only wish that this could be.../
It was when she was on the Sank Kingdom's emperial guard. I was taking refuge in the city, posing as a student. Our backgrounds as soldiers and our common goals made friendship easy. In the Sank Kingdom I felt as if she was the only one I could talk to. She was the only one who could relate to what I had gone though. Sure there was Heero there as well, but talking to Noin was different. She had a strong belief that peace would come soon, something that Heero didn't have.
Back then I was young and foolish. Back then I thought I had a chance. I didn't know about Zechs during that time. I never told her how I felt though, the time and circumstances never seemed right.
Later I learned about her connection to our enemy Zechs. I was angry with her. Her optimism, that I once loved so much, I now hated. She was so determined to change Zechs that she risked her life for it.
I couldn't stand to see her like that. So full of hope, and yet with so much sorrow. I did my best to protect her in battle, to make her see that she should drop her crusade and focus on the more important issues. She didn't back down though. She chose Zechs over her own beliefs.
After that I was no longer sure how I felt about her. I was at the extremes of both ends of the spectrum. In one sense I hated her for choosing him. I hated that she threw away all that she had been fighting for over the past months for him. At the same time I loved her all the more for the uncompromising stand she made.
/...please understand that what I say is true.../
"If only I had told her." I say out loud, thinking that only I will hear.
"If only you told who what?"
I flinch slightly at the unexpected sound. Dorothy leans up against the rail beside me. I look over her, and she stares back. Her eyes are asking for my answer.
I break the stare, "Miss. Dorothy would you mind giving me some time to myself?"
"Nonsense, I'm involved now. Please tell me who you are talking about Quatre."
"It's none of your concern."
"Oh please, you must. I can't just leave now with out knowing. If it's a secret I promise not to tell."
I turn away from her persistent eyes. I'm facing the house now. The couch that Noin and Zechs are sitting on is near one of the windows. I focus my eyes on her.
Dorothy breaks my concentration, "Ah, so that is our mystery woman."
I face her again, "What are you talking about?"
She points at Noin, "I would have to be crazy not too see it. You like Noin don't you?"
My cheeks flush, I can't stop them. I look away, hoping that Dorothy hasn't seem them. It's too late, she has.
"I knew it." Dorothy seems pleased that she was able to figure it out. Her voice changes to a more solemn tone, "You know she's with Mr. Millardo though."
"Why else would I be out here?"
"Oh Quatre." She way she says this makes it sound like I just told her that someone I knew died.
I look at Dorothy, making sure she understands the urgency of my plea, "Please, I beg you, don't tell anyone."
She stands straight, "Don't worry yourself," she walks towards the porch door. She turns to me once more, "I won't tell a sole. I hope that you re-join the party soon."
I continue to lean against the rail after Dorothy has left. I stare out over the expansive labyrinth of gardens and walk ways.
A little over fifteen minutes have passed. Finally I decide to go in. The longer I'm out here the more people will suspect that something is wrong.
The house is overflowing with music. Happy couples dance to the live orchestra. I easily slip in unnoticed. I take an empty place against a wall and watch them as they step and twirl.
I watch the happy couples go by. I smile when Relena and Heero waltz a long. Is it just my imagination? No Heero is allowing his self to smile, which is pleasing Relena. Soon though they are out of view.
After a few more minutes I am bored by the monotony of the dancers. I look around at my fellow singles. I scan the few men and number of women who line the walls either refusing to dance, or waiting for someone to ask them.
Out of those two options I can tell that Wu Fei is in the first group. He is leaning up against the wall a few people down from me. His arms are crossed as he looks away to the side. It's almost as if he is pouting. I remember seeing Sally dancing with an anonymous male, she obviously isn't letting Wu Fei's attitude ruin her night.
I look around at the girls, wondering if I should give it a go. Many of them are beautiful in their flowing gowns and done up hair. And yet, I feel nothing for them, and I don't have any erg to get to know any of them. I catch different movement on the dance floor out of the corner of my eye.
I look over in time to see Dorothy step out of the crowd and walk over to me. She leans up against the section of wall next to me, "I'm glad you decided to re-join the party."
"I couldn't stay out there all night."
"Ask me to dance."
"Excuse me?"
"You want to convince everyone that you are alright, correct? And the best way to do that is to look like you are enjoying yourself."
Dorothy is a sly girl. She most likely has something up her sleeve, yet her logic is very true. If I refuse the dance, I will always wonder what she had in mind. I do the most reasonable thing I can do: I extend my hand, "May I have this dance?"
She places her hand delicately in mind, "Don't mind if I do."
We dance gracefully around the room. Dorothy is doing a very good job of acting like she isn't looking around.
"Who are you looking for?"
"Noin and Millardo are around her somewhere."
My face shows my astonishment, "You wouldn't."
"There they are now."
"No, please don't." I can't believe that she is doing this. This is the last time I let Dorothy and my curiosity get the best of me. The time before this I ended up impaled with a sword. That was nothing compared to this though.
Before I can stop her she slips away from me. With a firm grip she grabs my hand and pulls me reluctantly along.
"Miss. Noin, care if I dance with Mr. Millardo?"
Noin glances at me, then back at Dorothy, "Certainly not Miss. Dorothy. Quatre, care to dance?"
I nearly freeze. Luckily I am able to find my voice and keep it from faltering. "I would be honored."
Dorothy winks at me as she takes Zechs' hand.
/...I listened to your heartbeat as I held you in my arms.../
"I haven't seen you around much tonight." She says after we have been dancing for a few moments. I am glad that she is the one to start the conversation; I was having trouble thinking of anything to say.
"I've been around."
"I wanted to talk to you about something."
My heartbeat quickens. She knows. "Dorothy told you didn't she?"
"Told me what?"
My heart beats even harder. I can't believe I just did that.
She can see my distress, "Quatre, told me what?"
"Nothing. I...I...I need to go." I slip out of her arms.
I decide not to go outside. I need to sooth my mind. I leave the dance hall. The music fades as I enter the parlor. I see what I'm searching for, a grand piano in the far corner.
I start to play a concerto on the keys. I can feel all my emotions flow from my mind and my heart into my fingers. I close my eyes, focusing all my being on my fingers. I finish the short piece, my hands drop from the keys. Clapping alters my thought.
In the doorway is Noin. She walks towards me as she claps, "That was beautiful Quatre."
I look away from her dazzling eyes, "Why aren't you dancing with everyone else?"
"I would be, but my partner doesn't seem to want to."
"Maybe something is on his mind."
"Maybe he should talk about it to someone."
"Perhaps that person wouldn't understand."
She sits down on the bench next to me, "Maybe that person should humor me."
I quickly stand and go to the window. She follows, but keeps her distance. "Quatre, please tell me what is wrong. Maybe I can help."
/...I just want you to know I have a major crush on you.../
"But... you're the problem."
"Excuse me?"
"It's the way the light reflects off your hair, and how your eyes sparkle when you laugh. It's how you believe anything is possible, and never give up. It's your sincerity, your courage, your undying loyalty." I face her, "It's how you always want to help, and how I can't stop thinking about you."
She's silent. This is what I feared. Is she thinking of the best way of telling me how that is sweet but she has a boyfriend?
"I'll understand if you don't want to be friends any more." I say quietly.
"That's not it at all." She walks over to me. Her hand runs though my hair and back around until she is holding my face with her soft hand. "I don't see a problem."
"What? What about Zechs?"
She smiles, "I honestly don't know why everyone thinks we are going out. We are best friends, that's all."
"Best friends? That means..."
"That there is no problem."
The joy is overflowing though me. I smile broadly, "Would you like to go out some time?"
"I would be honored." Our fingers intertwine, "Come on now, we don't want to miss the festivities."
We walk about into the dance hall still holding hands. Dorothy looks at us and smiles. Zechs nods in approval. I'm not upset with Dorothy for telling him, I'm actually relieved that I'm not the one to tell him, and even more relieved that he approves.
Our first dance as a couple is the highlight of the night.
/...I swear I'd treat you like a queen.../
/a queen/