Despite his closest friend being a solid year and a half older than he, Steve settles first. Neither of them are sure why, but Bucky says that, maybe, Steve's personality is already much more defined than Bucky's and that's the explanation that both of them go with.
Once taking on the smaller forms typical of city dæmons, Geodha settles as a horse, legs almost too long, limbs that she would grow into as they age. Her coat is thick and a pale golden, mottled darker and lighter in places, with darker hair and legs that change from the soft gold to a dark brown. She still takes the younger form characteristic of newly-settled dæmons, but it's already clear she'll be small for a horse and for that Steve is grateful. He knows, for certain, that he will never be able to afford a larger apartment.
Bucky laughs and teases him about it, saying that even if Geodha grew large enough for it to be a problem they'd be rich enough by then for it to be irrelevant. His own dæmon settles six months later and takes on one of the smaller forms more typical of city dæmons. Bewaarder becomes a young cat, with dark tabby fur and amber eyes that glow softly in the darkness.
It makes going to church interesting, given the sheer size of Geodha and the lack thereof in confession. In the city, with so few large dæmons, they make the chambers small, and thus Geodha stands next to it while Steve speaks softly with Father Markus, giving Steve her own council at the same time.
Everyone else expected Geodha to settle as a small creature that survived well in the city. A squirrel maybe, or a rat or cockroach. A pest, really, something that no one wanted around.
So it comes as a surprise to everyone when Geodha settles into a larger form, and it's to Steve's delight when his larger dæmon results in the other children at the orphanage leaving him alone in favour of bullying the younger children.
Fights don't last as long now, and they're both grateful for that. Less injuries, with the added bonus of standing up for the younger children at the orphanage.
Steve tells Bucky, once, "Someday I'll be big enough for her," even if he doesn't really believe it.
When they leave the orphanage, they have trouble finding an apartment big enough for the both of them and Geodha, but they manage and they handle their affairs. Bucky works at the docks, his strong build making him good at the work he does there. Steve works odd jobs, doing art commissions when given the chance and trying his best to hold a steady job down except he can't because he's always goddam sick.
Geodha doesn't look like most horses. She's smaller, skinnier and has more defined bones than real horses. They both assume it's because they're sick so often, that for as long as Steve can't put weight on she won't be able to either even though she doesn't eat and mirrors Steve.
Then the war starts, and the recession gets worse and that really makes life suck.
They were forced into a different, smaller apartment where Geodha scarce has space to move
In the apartment, there's only one bed. Geodha makes her careful way onto it first, folding her legs comfortably beneath her. When it's warm enough, she sleeps standing up or on the floor but through most of the year it's too cold. Steve curls up at her neck, resting his head on her shoulders. Across his stomach lays Bucky, using Steve as a pillow while acting as his protector. Bewaarder is the only one small enough to choose a spot- sometimes she sleeps between Bucky and Steve, other times on Geodha's flank.
It's not pretty, or convenient but it works.
When the letter arrives (Dear Mr. Barnes,) they all think, 'How could we be any less lucky,' but Bucky packs his bags and is shipped away, both Bucky and Bewaarder showing youth in their faces. They're the youngest of the recruits, just scarcely old enough and those around them know it.
They write back,
Basic is harder than they say it is, and I'm the youngest bloke here but stronger than half of them. Guess all that time at the docks paid off, yeah?
And,
I thought they'd poke fun at me for not having a gal back home, but one bloke, an older guy scarcely young enough to draft, started crying. Said it's a travesty they've recruited so young.
The letters they receive in return are sparse, but contain all the detail Bucky could possibly need. Steve sends drawings in charcoal or stubbed pencil, images of the pigeons and squirrels in Central Park, or the skyline from their apartment, or the Brooklyn Bridge in all her glory, standing over the still water. It's enough for the both of them.
Bucky goes to the front lines.
He comes home.
Another tour, and it's on his next trip home that they spend the evening at the Stark Expo, seeing flying cars and the future.
It's that evening that Steve meets Dr. Abraham Erskine, with his large-eyed lemur dæmon, a skittish creature who prefers curling up in Dr. Erskine's pocket, or sitting on his shoulder in the shade of his large fedora.
Dr. Erskine tells him, "I can offer you a chance and only a chance," and they take it against their better judgement, against what Bucky would want them to do.
Together, they draft a letter to Bucky. Dear Bucky and Bewaarder, Steve writes. You're off at the front and I'm still here but something has changed since we said our goodbyes. I've met a Dr. Erskine, who works with the SSR and he's offered me a chance at being in the military. I know you won't approve of the decision I've made but I do not need your approval, only your support. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you the details but only let you know that this is my decision and it is a decision that I am happy with. You'll tell me I'm being an idiot but it's not write that you have to be on the front lines while I stay at home doing nothing.
Bucky's write, Steve reflects later on. Basic is hell. He tells Bucky as such in yet another letter, this one of his exploits at the flagpole and how he outsmarted twenty years of cadets and ditched the long run home. What he doesn't tell Bucky about is the grenade.
On the last night that Steve will be the same old Steve, Erskine introduces the lemur on his shoulder as Astrimcome, and then proceeds to drink a whole bottle of schnapps. Steve sleeps early, and wonders, briefly, what the procedure will do to Geodha.
In the end it doesn't matter, because they both want to fight and nothing will stop them from getting there.
In the end it doesn't matter doubly, seeing as Geodha trots away from the procedure with slightly longer legs and a slightly larger head, in the literal sense rather than the egotistical one. If Steve thinks he has trouble with the adjustment he's wrong because only stumbles once or twice and Geodha, with her already long legs, has completely lost her balance.
Dr. Erskine is dead.
Steve is a performing monkey.
He's not sure which is worse.
Death, at the very least, is the final leg of life and the last step before entrance into heaven, purgatory or hell. Being a performing monkey, on the other hand, goes on forever. Senator Brandt insisted on it, says it's the only way for Steve to serve his country. Despite being 98% certain that such was not the case, he went along with it. He raised funds for the war effort, and for now that was enough. There would come a time when they'd need him on the front lines, he knew.
And yeah, that time came and it freaking sucked.
The front line were grey and miserable, the men on them even more so.
When he finds Bucky in that room, cuffed to the table with Bewaarder five feet away in a cage, he almost cries. He pulls the cuffs apart while Geodha breaks open Bewaarder's cage, carefully using her teeth to place the other dæmon on her back.
They both look horrible. Bucky his exhausted and gaunt, his muscles slowly having wasted away. Hair is greasy and unkempt. For the most part, Bewaarder looks the same. Her coat of normally sleek and shiny fur is tangled and gross. He knows it'll take at least a solid hour of work to get her looking like a healthy cat again.
For the half second that he looks, Steve notes the punctures on Bucky's arms and he almost cries.
"I thought you were smaller," Bucky says and Geodha snorts.
"Finally as big as me."
Together, they make their escape.
It feels like only weeks later that Steve's watching Bucky fall. It's been almost three years.
The plane crashes into the arctic.
They regret nothing.
Cold air whirls around them as they both realize: the crash didn't kill them.
Steve holds Geodha's head in his lap as the cold water laps at them. He's broken a leg and an arm, and Geodha is unharmed in a way that only a dæmon can be.
It doesn't happen quickly, but it does happen.
Slowly, painfully, like a thousand tiny needles being shoved at them from every possible direction, they freeze.
The cold is unbearable.
At some point, Steve wonders distantly with all the upper thought he can manage how they're still alive. Beneath his fingers, he can feel Geodha's silk-soft coat. They're both still here.
Time doesn't pass, not in the ice.
They wait.
With vague motions, they communicate: telepathy, the sort only managed by dæmons and their humans.
Sometimes, they write entire books together and they both know they're not very good; it's too cold for such advanced thinking, it's too much for them to manage but it passes the time and that is enough. They're not always able to think- sometimes they're more unconscious than asleep but this is the way they prefer it; unconscious, they don't even know that time is passing and that is all the better.
At some point they stop sleeping at all, and everything is a haze of unconsciousness.
Then there is pain, agony shooting through every limb and enough to startle them from unconsciousness.
It burns like hellfire would, and they briefly wonder if they're dying but then they can hear the voice of the old Dodgers commentator and that is not the sort of thing that one hears on their way to hell.
The nurse is all wrong, it's all wrong.
He knows the time has passed, and they're trying to tell him otherwise it's all very confusing and overwhelming, and more than anything else, Steve wants to go home to his Bucky.
In a distant field of consciousness, Steve is aware that the nurse is supposed to look like Peggy. She has the brown curls and the red lipstick to go with it, but apparently no one bothered to check the SSR records, because Peggy's dæmon was a fox rather than a little lizard. Really, Peggy Carter with some little lizard rather than her fox? It was simply a ridiculous notion.
The organization that found him and thawed him out is called the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. For ease of use, they call themselves SHIELD and they're led by a one-eyed man with an honest-to-God pirate eyepatch named Nick Fury, whose dæmon is an immense, horned owl. For all that they both glower at Steve and Geodha, she tells him later that the dæmon- Eres, apparently -doesn't actually dislike them. Most of the agents they meet have smaller dæmons, those that can easily be hidden on their person. There are exceptions. Maria Hill, who's basically second in command of the entire place and in charge of all field operations, has a small wolf dæmon, one that they are never introduced to and thus leave alone. Hill doesn't seem the sort for small talk. Neither are they.
They don't tell him what happened to Bucky until much later.
When they do, it goes like this:
Agent: "I was informed that you wanted to know what happened to James B. Barnes."
Steve: silence
Agent: "His body was never recovered. As a result of the questionable circumstances of his imprisonment in 1943, he was never declared dead either. Barnes has been missing in action for the past sixty-six years, and the back-pay he continues to receive goes to his descendants. All the family that Barnes knew has since passed on."
Steve: silence
Steve: "May I meet the family?"
Agent: "That's a direct breach of security, Captain Rogers. No one outside of SHIELD knows you're alive and we'd like to keep it that way."
Steve: "I ran into Times Square and was followed by a very obvious security detail. There is footage of me having a panic attack in Times Square. Are you telling me that the average IQ has decreased to the point where no one has put two and two together?"
Agent: "You would be better off discussing this with Director Fury."
Fury sends him off to the nearest Barnes household. It's Adams now, and Becca's oldest child- James Adams -greets Steve at the door, a strange look on his face. He's on the older side of young, maybe fifty, but his children (two of them, Isabelle and Morgan) are both in their early teens. Isabelle is 13 and Morgan 15. Neither have settled. Steve's starting to think it's genetic.
At first, James Adams is cold but after introducing himself, he warms up to Steve, inviting him in for a cup of coffee as Steve apologizes from dropping in unannounced.
James' dæmon is a hare, with floppy little ears and dark grey fur. Most of the time, James carries him around in his arms, but when they sit it's with the little dæmon sprawled across his lap.
They talk, and it's a good long talk. They smile, exchange stories about Becca and James mentions, "We used to ask her what Captain America was like and she'd always say she'd never met him." It's not long after that Steve begins to cry.
The Battle of New York happens.
They walk away unharmed but angry.
The Avengers, as they've been dubbed, are not the most upstanding people but they are good and kind. Steve's favourites are Natasha and Clint. The former because she's unafraid to tell him when he's being an idiot and the latter because his unique brand of humour makes him a great guy to be around. They're closer than either are willing to admit. Steve knows they've only gotten closer since the battle.
Natasha's dæmon is rarely in sight, but on the occasion that Steve does spot the little creature, she's in the form of the smallest cat he's ever seen. When out and about, Natasha hides her away in a purse large enough for a small fox. And since she's more comfortable with large, baggy clothes it makes it easy to hide her away.
Clint's dæmon, on the other hand, is the most annoying creature Steve has ever met and he's met all four Barnes siblings. His name is Colais, and she's a sixty pound Labrador retriever with a chocolate coat and bright blue eyes.
It's her eyes that define him as more than a simple dog.
Stark, damn him, Stark is the annoying one. The only grandson of Steve's old ally, he's about thirty-five and annoying as hell. Loud, self-centred and egotistical are all excellent words to describe Stark, but it's his dæmon that throws Steve. Her name is Cosmogyne, an ocelot with a silky coat and a propensity for hiding everywhere. None of them ever address her (that's won social law that hasn't changed in the past seventy years), or make any movement towards her and yet she's terrified of each and every one of them.
The dæmon is the truest reflection of the soul, and so for all that Stark drives him mad Steve makes sure to broadcast his movements and to never get too close.
He notes the others doing the same.
The dæmon that hangs out with Bruce takes the form of a parrot, who tends to be clinging to Bruce's shoulder as he works and dissolves into Bruce when he hulks out. They're both kind and on the quieter side, but the affection between them is palpable. They're never more than a foot from each other. Her name is Luxious.
Thor, bless him and his giant shouting voice, has an uncharacteristically large horse as his dæmon. His name is Haguenth, and at the shoulder he's a solid two hands taller than Geodha. Some sort of pack horse, Steve thinks. From the cold north, where horses come with feathering on their legs and gentle temperaments.
This unruly band of misfits doesn't fill the whole in his heart, but they come close enough to stop the constant, dreadful ache in his chest.
One would think that a whole filled once by a single person would easily be five people. It isn't, but it is enough.
He spends his time working for SHIELD, going on missions and saving lives.
Sometimes he thinks something's not quite right but he passes it off as the left-over paranoia from having been the leader of a team in the war.
Steve goes on a mission.
Steve comes back from a mission.
Steve meets the children and grandchildren of the guys. They're all so different than their predecessors and yet somehow the same person. It's nice to meet them, if more than a little weird.
They're all delighted to meet 'Steve from gramp's/dad's stories' and Steve returns the favour by being delighted himself.
Geodha tells him later that he'll get an over inflated ego with how people are in the future.
At home, just the two of them in their nice little apartment, they like to forget that they've come to the future and so instead Steve wears khaki pants and button up shirts, with straps over his shoulder rather than a belt. They finally have a bed big enough for both of them, and while winter is no longer freezing, they both curl up together anyways.
There's a hole where Bucky used to be, and where Bewaarder used to curl up between them.
Half the time, an alien invasion is the least surprising thing going on.
The other half of the time it's whatever Tony and Bruce are doing with all their technology.
Steve goes on a mission.
Steve comes back from a mission
Then Fury is attacked in the middle of the street and killed, and everything goes to hell.
Steve runs in pursuit of his attacker and the first thing he notices is the man's dæmon.
It's been year since he saw those whiskers, but they're still as fresh in his mind as they had ever been, and the large tabby cat with matted fur stirs something within him. Startled, he doesn't try as hard as he perhaps should, but in the end it doesn't matter because two days later they're on the helicarrier together.
He reaches out to Bucky as they lie broken on the glass and Bucky reaches back.
"We're with you," Steve says.
Geodha finishes for him. "Till the end of the line."
And as some miracle, the Winter Soldier disappears from Bucky's eyes. Bewaarder is pressed to his side, shivering and whimpering as she makes her way to Geodha and gently nuzzles her, then crumples against her neck and then they're all falling.
They wake in the hospital, Bucky in the next bed over and Sam on his right.
"On your left," he says and Redwing caws at him.
Sam looks up and a grin spreads across his face.
Bucky and Bewaarder go through the process of a proper trial, and the vote is unanimous: they were not guilty for the crimes they committed.
Together, they go through intense psychiatric care while somehow managing to never spend in a night in a psychiatric ward. Bewaarder says it's because they're not as crazy as everyone thinks. Bucky says it's because of Steve.
In the tower, they share a room.
It's bigger than before but that doesn't change the way they sleep, all curled up amongst one another as though nothing has changed in the seventy years it's been.
Every night Bucky wakes up screaming, for months before they begin to disperse. Every other night, then every third until finally they are as rare as snow in New York. That's the way they like it. Later on, Bucky tells Steve that it was entirely his influence that brought him back from the edge, and Steve laughs and says, "You did that all yourself. I'm just a crutch in the process of healing."
In the beginning, it was Steve who settled first.
Bucky used to say that it was because Steve already knew who he was going to be when Bucky didn't.
Steve says that it's because God willed it that way.
In the end, it doesn't matter because they are together and nothing can tear them apart.
So I seem to have lost the line break thing 'cause I couldn't find it when I was putting this in right now but I've deemed that okay since it copied over the Word one I desperately tried to get rid of. That's fine. I made a quick list of daemons for those who are interested. Also appearances and crap. And meanings, except I researched wrote and then forgot so only for some of them.
Steve- Geodha (stream). Geodha settles as a buckskin horse. Given Steve's initial state and age, she's this scrawny little yearling that really needs to do some growing but hasn't yet. Then post-serum, Steve's older and stronger. I feel that daemons mirror the appearance of their people, so Geodha ends up as this drop-dead gorgeous buckskin Hanoverian, a breed known for their good temperament, athleticism, and as a popular choice of mount in the Olympics. If you're looking for a picture of Geodha pre-serum type buckskin horse into google and it should be the first picture. For post-serum check out Hanoverian buckskin on google and look for the bridled horse without a saddle that's trotting in an arena.
Bucky- Bewaarder (keeper). Bewaarder is this dark tabby Norwegian forest cat. There's not as much detail here, but imagine the fluffiest goddam cat you have ever seen. If you type in dark tabby Norwegian forest cat you should find a good picture.
Clint- Colais. I forget what this one means. Colais is a chocolate labrador, with very suspicious blue eyes. Not really possible yet with existing labs but just imagine a chocolate lab with bright blue eyes and bask in the glory.
Fury- Eres (respelled Eris, goddess of chaos and discord). Think one-eyed great horned owl. Dark. Big. Scary.
Tony- Cosmogyne (stars, something or other I forget). Honestly just type ocelot in and then imagine one of those hiding freaking everywhere.
Erskine- Astrimcome (stars, something or other I forget). Just put in ring-tailed lemur and ignore King Julian and you've got your guy. Seriously. Enjoy. They're fricking adorable.
Natasha- Elumiatry (literally: elum (slightly changed ilum, meaning light), iatry (to heal). To heal the light. Comparison: psychiatry; to heal the psyche.) Okay so Elumiatry (name never specified in the actual work but I made one here) is this fricking tiny cat. I've never specified or even thought about appearance but I guess sleek and goldy-orange is a pretty good bet for Elumiatry. For the most part I feel like it's not what he looks like that's important but rather the meaning of his name, which I put above. Ever since she escaped the Red Room, Natasha's been looking to be the good guy for once. And then she finds out SHIELD is actually Hydra and she's horrified and, depending on how you look at the name, Elumiatry can mean two things. First of all, light to heal is the literal meaning. I interpret this to mean that something like the light will heal you. Like it will heal Natasha. I also interpret that light to be the goodness that is Steve Rogers, but that's irrelevant. In practice, however, iatry (a suffix) always refers to healing the prefix of the word. In this case Elum, my variation of ilum because it looked better. Therefore, to heal the light. Natasha wants nothing more than to do the right thing, and she tries to fix the darkness that the light secretly was. Bam. Deep thoughts. I actually just chose it because Natasha was healed by the light.
Bruce- Luxious (to do with light). Think parrot. Preferably purple, but just think parrot.
Thor- Haguenth. Horse. Friesian. If you're really curious find the palest Friesian you can and that is Haguenth.
Sam- Redwing. IDK. I'm pretty done at this point, so let's just go with peregrine falcon and leave it at that. Or a red-tailed hawk. You choose.