A/N: Been meaning to write this story out and I eventually have! Enjoy!
Aura Blackquill could not claim to understand what love is. The Oxford English Dictionary defined love as a feeling of deep affection for something or someone. Aura never much cared for it; she didn't express it verbally or physically. She'd never much cared about flowers or dates or gifts; it was all superficial to her. Quite frankly, love was something that was commercialised; films and books and gendered gifts and she didn't want to partake in such a thing.
Love, to Aura Blackquill, was a pathetic notion. Relationships were pointless and took up valuable time. Her views didn't change on that matter. She felt physical attraction and lust, pointed towards females, but romantic love? Pah! A waste of time.
That, she'd known in her years growing up as a teenager, working out the kinks of high school life with girls getting together with boys and her finding romance absolutely disgusting; she did not want to see the public displays of affection and the popular couple of the school make out behind her in Physics class.
She had a girlfriend once. Not so much a girlfriend in the traditional sense of dating. They hung out together at skate parks after school, in jeans and plaid shirts, kissing. She snuck out on weekends, partying at the nightclubs, making out with that same girl, only this time in a dark dress and black nail polish.
They broke it off in their last year of school. University was looming near. It was a wise decision; they weren't getting anywhere and Aura never felt much after they met up. So she buckled down, got her diploma and went off to study in the UK.
She came back after her Master's degree. It had been a family gathering. Her parents and her little brother and some cousins. After the cousins left, she'd been washing the dishes and nonchalantly informed her mother "By the way, I'm gay."
Her mother burst into tears, her father told her she was no longer welcome in their home and off she was to go. She packed her bags that same night, Simon came into her room then, and she made up her mind to take him with her. Their parents lived far away from the university he was set to attend and she wasn't going to have him deal with conservative parents for the next few years. Simon complied, objecting to the fact that their parents were conservative, more or less tolerant people.
They lived in a flat together, a drive away from Ivy Law School and her new workplace, the Cosmos Space Centre.
Cosmos Space Centre was an intriguing workplace, she remarked on her first day there as she was given a tour of the building; its two launch pads and the astronauts training rooms and the physics lab. And then the robotics lab.
She entered the robotics lab casually, a new employee looking to see her new work station. The workbench was immaculate with tools hung on a corkboard next to it. It was an eccentric little room, she noted, with Japanese hanging scrolls and swords.
"Hello," she heard, and she turned around. "I'm Dr Metis Cykes, you must be Aura Blackquill."
Metis Cykes, upon first examination by Aura, was wearing a yukata. Aura had seen yukatas before on her family trips to Japan, she'd worn a few, and yet, the way it fit onto this woman's body was perfect. It was plain, granted, and yet it spoke something about the person in front of her.
And there, from that moment on, Aura could not deny that Metis Cykes was the most beautiful woman she had ever met.
They grew closer with each day, casually asking each other questions when it was break time. Aura got to learn more about her; Metis was Japanese-American, she was a Doctor of Psychology and a single mother. She had a daughter after a fling with a man at her graduate school when she was twenty-five. The fling ended badly and with the country's policy the way it was, it wasn't simple to have an abortion. She kept the child, gave it her surname, and she loved it.
Aura met Athena Cykes, nine years old at the time, a few months into working there. Athena was shy and soft-spoken and often had her friend 'Junie' in tow. Aura had been working on a new computer programme and hadn't taken notice to her, but then she felt a tug on her sleeve and saw a small girl, fiery orange hair and deep blue eyes, looking up at her.
"Mommy says you work with her. I drew this picture for you." She had whispered.
The picture was of Aura and Metis side by side, coloured in with crayons. On the top of the page was written "Best Friends". Those words stuck with Aura. Was she best friends with Metis Cykes? The woman was an introvert, often keeping to herself. Yet they'd opened up to each other and Aura had found herself noticing the woman's quirks and traits even more as the days wore on.
It wasn't until a conversation at dinner with Simon had led to Aura realising that she may just be falling hard for Metis Cykes. Simon had been going on about his new job at the Prosecutor's Office and the antics of his colleagues that Aura came to the conclusion that Metis wasn't a coworker to her, she was a good friend and a potential romantic partner.
Aura still didn't care for relationships; she could love Metis Cykes for who she was and not expect it to be reciprocated. She didn't mind one bit. She kept that in mind. But with this one, there was an inkling in her mind that something could work.
She was at work a few days later and casually dropped some news on her colleague who'd been testing a new system.
"I've a brother interested in analytical psychology, by the way. He's just got out of law school."
"I'd be more than welcome to take him on. It'll be my pleasure." Metis had replied, a small smile gracing her features; and Aura concluded that she loved that smile.
Simon was introduced to Metis a week later, in a small coffeeshop in downtown LA. They got along famously, both babbling away about criminology and forensic psychology, drinks neglected. Simon joined them at the Space Centre every other week that year from that moment on.
It was at that time that their work took off in robotics. They set up a framework in mind; the centre needed navigational companions to aid employees, to clean up, to give tours and work in every sector of the building. That was how they created PONCO; Psychological Observation and Navigation Companion. Aura worked on the mechanics and Metis on the psychology. It was a brilliant idea to create cute robots with emotions. The paper was published in a scientific journal and the reviews it got were very positive.
Aura's happy mood only increased after that. She got comfort in seeing Metis daily; seeing her concentrate on something with her eyebrows furrowed and her deep brown eyes narrowed onto that object of her focus. And how her dainty hands caught the sunlight, the green veins visible, she saw Metis fidget with lids and bits of paper. She noticed, whenever the woman spoke, that there was a freckle on her upper lip and a mole on her neck.
She took comfort in these physical features.
Then the robots came to life. They spoke. They called them "Mommy Metis" and "Mama Aura", programmed by Metis to say the words. It wasn't long till Aura to put two and two together.
It had been after Simon had come for his lesson and Athena was put to bed, probably ten at night, when Aura was busy working on a bit of machinery that Metis rose from her seat across the room and tiptoed to the scientist. She whispered the words "You've been such a lovely person to work with, Aura. And…"
Everything swam then. She felt Metis lift her chin and press her soft lips against hers; she complied immediately, kissing her back, before they quickly broke apart.
"...I think you'd be a lovely person to fall in love with. I cannot deny that I have feelings for you."
They kissed again that night, Aura absolutely erupting with butterflies and this she could not deny anymore: though she was an antisocial and tea-obsessed robotics engineer with no interest whatsoever in romance and absolutely not cut out for it, Metis Cykes was her perfect fit. Beautiful and intelligent and everything Aura wasn't and wanted to be. They were awkward and clumsy and Aura found herself relearning the ways of love. Love wasn't stupid gifts and flowers, it was them working together and appreciating each other. That was deep affection to Aura Blackquill: appreciation. It was silent and non-verbal and non-physical.
She loved that.
They weren't 'girlfriends' or 'mothers' or 'partners' for that matter; nothing was needed to be broadcast. Labels meant nothing in that one aspect. They simply were...being.
Their routine continued the same, Athena drawing and Simon coming by for his lessons. Aura stayed at her flat, Metis at hers upstairs. Then the headphones were developed; it was a strenuous and arduous task for them and Athena not willing to comply. Simon was the savior in that matter, helping the little girl adjust to them, blocking out the noise. She was at her calmest with the younger Blackquill sibling.
They discussed Athena again one night, lying in bed together, staring at the ceiling.
"I want...to help her in any way I can." Metis had said, stroking Aura's hair as she spoke.
"Hmm. What've you in mind?"
"An analog interface to help her define emotions, develop her senses so she survives in the real world when she's older."
"That's a good...idea. I'm impressed." Aura pressed a kiss to her neck.
"It'll be called Widget."
"That's cute."
They didn't speak anymore that night as Aura's kisses trailed downwards.
Widget was developed a few months after Athena's eleventh birthday. They worked it on various test subjects, researching the human input of information within a small interface. They wrote another paper on it.
The routine continued on.
Then Metis Cykes died.
She remembered the day she died with incredibly vividity and clarity. Metis had got out of bed earlier than usual. She was fidgety and exhausted, she and Simon had been up constantly all last week; the atmosphere between them tense. Aura had beckoned her back to bed, but Metis was up by then, hair up and her lab coat on, already gone.
They saw each other in the lab that morning, discussing inputting a new interface and developing some software. Aura had to go out and run some errands. She didn't come back till later at around three in the afternoon. She saw police cars and an ambulance and she rushed upstairs to the fifth floor.
Simon Blackquill was in handcuffs, the robotics lab was covered in yellow crime scene tape that she'd seen in murder mysteries late at night. Simon's face was gaunt and it held a look she'd never seen before; a sallow colour and a sneer.
They took out Metis's body on a stretcher in a body bag. Aura had never felt her heart beat so fast as then. One minute she was breathing right next to Aura, her body fit perfectly with hers, and the next she was lying inside a black bag, dead to the world.
She didn't cry that night, she didn't sleep either. She took out her beer cans and drank them one by one, until dawn. She went to the trial in a hungover state, a mere shell of her former self. She watched Simon calmly and coldly explain how Metis was killed with the katana. She didn't look at the crime scene pictures, she looked at nothing other than her feet. She heard Athena scream out his innocence. Once the verdict was handed down she left the courtroom, only pausing to look at her brother's retreating form being led away.
He had passed through her, barely looking at her.
She wondered if that was indeed Simon Blackquill.
Athena Cykes left the country the next day. Metis had family in Europe and so they took custody of her. She didn't care.
When the officers had left and the robotics lab restored back to normal she returned.
"Hello, Mama Aura," spoke Ponco.
And Aura looked up at it, grey eyes cold and mouth a thin line. "Amend code five, Mama Aura to Miss Aura. Delete Mommy Metis, Athena and Simon. Run."
Ponco never uttered those words again, and Aura lay in bed alone. She had a photo that Metis gave her on her birthday before she died.
"Just a little reminder of me." She had said.
That photograph sat on her desk; a reminder of what could've been and what had been and Aura realised that such scenarios were pointless. You couldn't run such simulations, the outcomes are unpredictable. So it sat on the desk, collecting dust.
She never sat her workbench after that incident, never cared to look at the operating table anymore. She collected scrap metal, building bigger robots and then dismantling them again. She scoffed at the waste of research grant money now. She got agitated more, she yelled more and hit the robots.
"Must you be so fucking useless?"
She went to the detention centre once a year on Christmas, watching Simon speak in superlatives and monologues, the words filtering through her ears yet she only registered sound. His voice was deep and gruff and his hair a mane, the shock of white running through.
"Mother and Father have disowned me, if that is of any comfort to you." He said one day.
She said nothing. If Metis had been claimed from her so soon then so be it, Simon Blackquill would meet that end himself.
Two more years passed, more lost grant money, the Psych Lab shut down and then she saw it in the newspapers. She saw a name. Athena Cykes. Then she saw 'Simon Blackquill'.
How fucking ironic, she had thought to herself, that they meet again the year of his death. Athena looked nothing like Metis; Metis was soft and gentle with brown hair and eyes and freckles and Athena was a bright shock of orange and blue, her voice higher. Athena was hasty and feisty and Metis was calm and collected. Athena spoke in snippets of foreign languages and Metis had spoken fluidly in three. The lack of comparisons could've taken up rolls of parchment. Athena Cykes was effectively dead to Aura Blackquill, dead since that trial.
They met at the Space Centre again, there was a spiky haired lawyer there and Aura did not take kindly to servants of the law; they forged, they lied, they begged and they bluffed. This one was one such example. She looked at her, no, this girl was dead. Widget sat on her neck; Aura had shipped it to her a few weeks after Metis died. She couldn't bear to look at thing and there it sat, it's violet sad face projected on the front. She scoffed.
Athena Cykes never so much as cared about her mother. Aura, with her limited understanding of love, knew that love was respect and affection and appreciation. Metis Cykes loved her daughter, the words simply never came; it was always in the actions, the headphones and Widget. Metis Cykes was awkward but gentle. And Athena killed her.
Athena didn't kill her and neither did Simon. Simon wasn't dead. Some man in a mask did it, with Metis's Noh mask on his face.
Seven years gone and one day changed the course of fate. Aura Blackquill didn't believe in fate; she was that change that called for the trial, regardless of how official it was with servants of the law. Anything would have to do, was her conclusion.
Now here she sat in her cell, watching the clouds pass by slowly at a snail's pace. She had Metis's picture with her and the old drawing from Athena. How ironic that they all swapped places. She was at peace now, after these arduous years.
Ponco came by with Athena a few weeks later. She changed its command. "Amend code five. Restore Athena, Simon and Mommy Metis. Run."
An inmate one day asked her what love was. She scoffed.
Love was a chemical imbalance. And it had many ways of expressing itself.
That was all there was to it.