Author's Note: It really has been quite a while since I've published anything, hasn't it? Perhaps that's because of the lack of response on Insomnia... Haha, just kidding. Anyway, this, while short right now, will probably be my longest fanfic due to the fact that I will actually have chapters in this one. I know, I know, it's a suprise, but you guys deserve it. Obviously, it's centered around George, whom I love and adore, and I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I think I will. I don't have much written yet - this is the only part - but I do intend upon updating fairly often. Stick with me, guys; the more reviews I get, the faster the updates will come.

Disclaimer: No, I'm not JKR. No, I'm not anyone associated with JKR. I'm just a crazy fangirl. :)

Letters to Fred
A George-centric Fanfic
Begun Febuary 24, 2009

I can't breathe.

I can't fucking breathe.

I can't do anything.

I can't see. I'm blind. Do you realize that you've left me totally, completely, utterly blind?

I hate the blackness. You know that. You always knew that. I hate being alone. Just as much as you hate it, but you're better at hiding that than I am. How does it feel, brother? How does it feel to be completely and totally alone in the crushing darkness?

The moment you left, I could feel it. I could feel it like the entire world falling down on my shoulders, like Atlas finally collapsed under his burden and gave it to me so I could hold it for him. Every hurt, ever anguish, every anything either of us ever felt, it all came pouring into me in that one second. Lee says I staggered and something went out in my eyes and I cried an awful noise.

I can't even remember it.

I can't remember anything.

I can't feel anything.

I want to feel something. I want something besides this irreversible anguish. I want to know there's still light and good out there, but how could there be? How could there be anything when you're gone? There's nothing. Nothing. There is no world without you. There is no beauty, there is no light, and there is no laugher, there is no anything.

There is only this sick oppressive darkness. It's trying to swallow me whole, and I might let it. It would be easier than this crushing pain and anguish and everything that's pouring into me. How can I feel everything and nothing at all? How is that even possible?

How is anything possible without you, Fred?

I haven't said anything since you fell. Since the moment you left me on this cold fucking earth to die on my own, I haven't made a single comprehensible noise. I can see Mum's eyes when they look into mine; I can see their horror when she realizes what's in mine. There's nothing behind them, brother. I can't see them for myself, but I know there's nothing behind them. Because there's nothing left in me, see? You took it all with you, and yet you gave it all to me. We're stuck in limbo, you and me.

But there is no you and me anymore, is there? There is only me, there is only this crushing weight, there is only this nothingness yet everything all at the same time. How the fuck could that even happen, Fred? How could there be a God who severs the ties between brothers? Hell. We weren't even brothers. We were so much more than that. How could anyone do this to us?

I can't do this.

I can't be alone.

I don't know how.

I need you.

I miss you.

I hate you so much.

I love you so much.

Your funeral is coming.

I don't know if I can go. Dad expects me to speak. Mum expects me to hang myself from the rafters. Percy thinks I'm going to pull my wand on him whenever I come to my senses. I probably will, if I ever do come to my senses. I can't forgive him for what he's done, Fred. I know you'd tell me to, because you were always a bit more forgiving than I, but I can't give him the satisfaction of knowing everything is all right between us. Because nothing will ever be all right, Fred. He should have saved you that night. He should have been the one underneath that wall. I don't care if I go to hell for saying that. We're headed there anyway.

I shouldn't use 'we're' anymore, should I? Because there's only one of us now. There's only one Weasley twin.

Help me, please…

I need to talk to someone.

I need someone to tell me everything will be all right.

I need someone to make me laugh and make me smile.

I need you, Fred.

I can't believe I'm even writing this through this crushing, crushing darkness. Every breath takes a lifetime of the universe; every word I write takes ten thousand.

There is no light, no hope, no anything without you, Fred.

I don't know how I will go on.

I need to talk to you.

This will be my only way.